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"Bungaku Shoujo" to Shinitagari no Pierrot 5

Kataoka Shuuji

en

-> RTS Page for "Bungaku Shoujo" to Shinitagari no Pierrot 5

Thanks go to Serizawa, madsin92 and Quintuple for pointing out my mistakes. Thank you, it's truly appreciated.

comments, ideas, criticisms are always welcomed.

p1

-つきあってもいいよ、自分はあの子にいいました。
I said to her "I'll go out with you".

-あの子は子犬のように無邪気に笑いました
She smiled innocently like a puppy.

p2

-恋をすれば人は変わるといいます
It's said that people change when they fall in love.

-だとしたら、あの子こそ、自分の救いになるかもしらない
If that's true, then she just might be my savior.

-自分は、愛や優しさを持たぬお化けではなく当たり前の人間になるかもしらない。
Maybe I can become an ordinary person, instead of a monster that can neither love nor be kind.

-胸が焼け焦げそうなほど強く、自分は願ったのです
I wished for it so strongly, my chest felt like it was on fire.

-ああ、どうか、どうか、
Oh, please, please.

-その無垢な輝きで自分を救ってください。
Please save me with your pure light.

p3

-けれど、あの子も、自分が人を殺したことを知ったら、それでも自分を愛してくれるでしょうか。
But, would she still love me if she found out that I had killed someone?

-優しい人だと思ってくれるでしょうか。
Would she still think that I was a kind person?

-自分はお化けです。
I am a monster.

-あの日、やわらかな肉が押しつぶされ、甘酸っぽいような香りのする赤い血が、黒いアスファルトの上に広がってゆくのを、
That day, crushing the soft flesh, with the bittersweet scent of blood spreading out on top of the black asphalt,

-空っぽの心で眺めていました。
I looked on with an empty heart.

p4

-自分は、人間を、殺しました。
I killed someone.

p5

第5章 片岡愁二
Chapter 5 Kataoka Shuuji

-水面に広がる少女の想い...。
The girl’s feelings spreading out onto the water’s surface...



p6

-しゅうじせんぱい
Shuuji-senpai.

-どうしたの
What’s wrong?

-竹田さん
Takeda-san.

p7

-ちい
Chii.

-ちい?
Chii.

-た 竹田さんちょっと
Ta-Takeda-san wait,

-ちいって竹田さんのことじゃないの?
That "Chii" is referring to you, right?

-あの人竹田さんを捜してー
That person is looking for you.

-ダメっ
Don’t.


p8


-答えちゃダメっ
Don't answer him.

-ちい
Chii.

-ちい
Chii.

-ちい
Chii.

p9

-行った。。。のかな?
Did he...leave?

-竹田さん。。。
Takeda-san...

-うああああああああああああ
Uaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

-一体。。。
Just...

-なんなんだ?
What is going on here?

p10

-さっき追いかけて来たのが片岡愁二先輩なのなかな。。。?
Was it Kataoka Shuuji-senpai who was chasing her before?

-ケンカてもしたんだろうか
Did they have a fight or something?

p11

-送ってくれてありがとうございました
Thank you for walking me home.

-ううん
Sure.

-早く着替えてあたたかくしたほうがいいよ
You’d better get changed and warm yourself up.

p12

-何があったのは間違いないのだろうけど。。。
There's no doubt that something has happened but...

-竹田さんは大泣きした理由を教えてくれながった
She wouldn't tell me why she was crying so much.


p13

-今日は一時間目の休み時間になっても竹田さんは来ないな
Takeda-san didn't come during the break.

p14

-わ 琴吹さんと目が合っちゃった
Ah. Our eyes met.

-どうしよう
What should I do?

p15

-昨日のおつり
Yesterday's change.

-ああ
Ah.

-ありがとう
Thanks.

-って五十円?
50 yen?

-これ十円多くない?
Isn't this 10 yen over?

-そんなのわかってるよ
I know that.

-おつりのおつりをちょうだい
Give me the change for the change.

p16

-えーと
Umm…

-今細かいのないや
I don't have such a small amount right now.

-ならあとでいい
Then later is fine.

-ねえ
Hey.

-昨日の放課後
Yesterday, after school...

-井上いきなり教室に入ってきたでしょ
You suddenly came in to the classroom right?

p17

-あのとき
At that time…

-本当になにも聞いてない?
Did you really not hear anything?

-嫌いなやつならいるよ
I do have someone I hate though…

-井上心の葉
Inoue Konoha.

p18

-え?
Eh?

-なんのこと?
What are you talking about?

-き
I-
-聞いてないならいい
If you didn't hear anything, then it’s fine.

p19

-竹田さん
Takeda-san,

-来なかったな
Didn't come today…

-竹田さんもう手紙いらないのかな
Maybe she doesn't need the letters anymore.

-一応確かめておいた方がいい。。。よね?
It’s better if I checked just to make sure... right?

-それとも風邪で休んでるだけなのかな。。。
Or maybe she caught a cold and took the day off...

p20

-もしかしてぼくの書いた手紙のせいでケンカになったんだとしたら
What if they got into a fight because of my letters...?

-やだもおよっちゃんってばサイコー
Oh please, you’re the best Yo-chan.

-よしっ
Alright.

-あたしも彼の誕生日は気合入れてケーキ焼いちゃうぞ
I’ll give it my all too and bake a cake for his birthday.

-あっ
Ah.

p21

-お
G-
-おはよう
Good-morning.

-やだあ心葉先輩どーしたんですか急に?
Oh Konoha-senpai. What’s going on, coming here all of a sudden?

-ごめんねよっちゃん先行ってて
Sorry, Yo-chan, go ahead without me.

-心葉先輩こっちこっち
Konoha-senpai, this way, this way.

-あ  あれ?
Ah Eh?

-なんかずいぶん明るくないか?
She's pretty energetic isn't she?

p22

-えへへ 心葉先輩のほうからいらっしゃるなんて
Ehehe. For Konoha-senpai to come to me.

-びっくりしちゃいましたよお
It really surprised me.

-昨日泣いてたから
It’s because you were crying yesterday.

-大丈夫かな。。。と思って
I was wondering if you were o.k.

-あー あれですか?
Oh that?

-全然大したことないです
It was nothing at all.

-ちょっとナーバスになっちゃったとゆーか
I was only a bit nervous.

-心葉先輩が優しい顔してたからつい甘えてしまったというか。。。
Because you were making such a kind face, I just acted a little spoiled.

-恥ずかしいからもう忘れてください
It’s embarrassing so please forget about it.

p23

-愁二先輩と
Did something happen?

-なにかあったんじゃないの?
Between you and Shuuji-senpai?

-あ やっぱりなにがあったんだ
Ah. So something really did happen between them.

-。。。その。。。
...That is...

-愁二先輩ちょっと悩んでるみたいなんです
Shuuji-senpai seems to be worried about something.


p24

-昨日愁二先輩からお手紙いただいたんですけで内容が。。。
I received a letter from him yesterday, but the contents...

-手紙?
A letter?

-けどあたしはホンとに元気ですよお~
But I’m really feeling better today~~

-そうだ心葉先輩
That’s right, Konoha-senpai,

-今日もお手紙いただけますか?
Do you have a letter for me today?

p25

-うん 持って来たよ
Yea, I brought it with me.

-ありがとうございます
Thank you.

-きっと愁二先輩もお手紙を読めば元気になると思います
I’m sure Shuuji-senpai will feel better after reading it.

-次は移動教室だから
The next class is outside, so...

-もう失礼しますね
I'll be excusing myself.

-それじゃあ
Bye.

-いやむしろぼくの書いた手紙で悩み始めたのならどうしよう。。。
Wait, what if my letters were the start of his worries...


p26

-片岡愁二先輩。。。か
Kataoka Shuuji-senpai...huh?

-どんな人なだろうな
I wonder what kind of person he is.

-そういえば弓道部って
Speaking of the archery club…

-ねえ
Hey.

-芥川くんは弓道部だったよね?
You're in the archery club, aren't you, Akutagawa-kun?


p27

-ああ そうだが
Yea, that's right.

-弓道部の三年生に
There’s a third year student,

-片岡愁二って人がいるよね
With the name Kataoka Shuuji in the archery club right?

-いや知らん
No. Not that I know of.

-えっあれ?
W...what?

-もしかして名前がちょっと違ってるのかな?
Could I have mistaken the name?

-シュウちゃんとか シュウ先輩とか 呼ばれてるらしんだけど
He’s called Shuu-chan or Shuu-senpai though.

p28

-藤村修也というやつならいるが
There's someone called Fujimura Shuuya.

-三年じゃなくて二年だ
But he’s a second year, not third.

-それにジュウちゃんとも呼ばれてなかったと思う
And if I remember correctly he's never been called Shuu-chan.

-他にシュウっていう人はいないの?
Are there any other people called Shuu?

-部では聞かんあ
Haven't heard of any in the club.

-どういうことだろう
What’s going on here?

-竹田さんが勘違いしてるのかな
Could Takeda-san have made a mistake?

-ーけど 告白前ならともかく
If it was before she confessed it would be a different story but,

-今は普通に手紙を渡したり話したりているはずなのに
She's supposedly giving letters and talking to him regularly.

-名前を間違えておぼえているなんてことが有りえるのだろうか
Is it even possible that she got confused and remembered the wrong name?

p29

-芥川くん
Akutagawa-kun.

-弓道部って見学させてもらえるかな?
Does the archery club allow non-members to observe practice?

-入部希望者が練習を見に来るからかまわんだろう
If you're thinking of joining and want to see how we practice then its fine.

-オレから顧問に話しとく
I'll talk to the adviser.

-ありがとう
Thanks.

p30

-うーん一目惚れするくらいだから
Hmm. It was enough to fall in love at first sight so...

-やっぱり見た目もそこそこのはずだようねえ
So, his appearance shouldn't be that bad.

-弓道部で一番カッコいいのってどう見ても芥川くんだようなあ
No matter how you look at it, the coolest person in the archery club is Akutagawa-kun.

-けど竹田さんは愁二先輩は見た目と違って
But Takeda-san said that contrary to his appearance,

-普段はひょきんで人気者ですっていってたし
He normally has a humorous face and is popular.

-芥川くんがひょうきんっていうのは
Saying that Akutagawa-kun's face is humorous…

-はてしなく無理があるような。。。
That would be impossible...

p31

-それとも教室ではクールだけど部活てはひょうきんだったりするのかなあ
Could it be that he acts colder in the classroom while being humorous during club activities?

-井上
Inoue.

-部長に愁二といいう人のことを訊いてみたが
I talked to the captain about that Shuuji person but…

-やぱり知らんそうだ
As I thought he doesn't know anyone with that name.

-弓道部じゃないのか?
It wasn't the archery club?

-いやでも。。。
But...

-謎は深まるばかりだ
The mystery only gets deeper and deeper.

p32

-あ こんにちは
Ah. Good afternoon,

-心葉くん
Konoha-kun.

-あ~ やっぱり昨日の傘持ってるってのは嘘だったんだな
Ah. I knew it, the talk about having an umbrella yesterday was a lie.

-雨に濡れて帰って風邪をひいちゃったんだ
Getting wet in the rain on her way home and catching a cold.

p33

-その。。。傘
Um...your umbrella.

-ありがとうござました
Thank you.

-どーいたしまして
You’re welcome.

-わたしも心葉くんの傘ロッカーに返しておいたわ
I returned your umbrella to the locker.

-いままでありがとう
Thank you for letting me use it until now.

-風邪みたいですけど
It looks like you have a cold.

-大丈夫ですか?
Are you alright?

-平気平気
I'm fine. I'm fine

p34

-昨日お風呂でカーとランドの修道院の女神を読み返してたらつい夢中になっちゃって
Last night, I was reading the Cartland's "Priori no Megami" in the bathtub and dozed off.

-水風呂になってたのに気づかながったの
Before I knew it the water turned cold.

-すぐ治るわ
I’ll get better before you know it.

-お湯が水になるほどつからないでください
Please don't stay in so long that the hot water turns cold.

-それじゃ本もページがふやけてへにゃへにゃになっちゃうでしょう
Then the book got soggy didn't it?

-そ。れ。が。また美味しいのようね~
That is also delicious isn't it ~~.

-ビスケットをピンク色のシャンパンに浸して食べるような感じ?
Like eating a biscuit that's been dipped in pink champagne?

p35

-シャンパインは風呂水の味も入浴剤の味もしないと思いますけど
I don't think champagne tastes like bath water or bathing powder.

-もお 本当に夢がないんだから
Geez. You really aren't much of a dreamer.

-ところで心葉くん
By the way Konoha-kun.

-今日はずいぶんゆっくりだったのね
You really took your time getting here today didn't you?

-また日直だったの?
Were you on duty today?

-えっと。。。
Umm...

-日直じゃなくて弓道部へ見学に行ってなんです
I wasn't on duty; I just went to observe the archery club.

-弓道部?
Archery club?

-。。。
...

-実は昨日。。。
The truth is, yesterday...

p36

-まあ
Oh my.

-そんなことがあったの?
Something like that happened?

-そうだわ
That's right.

-図書室のパソコンで全生徒の名前をみることができるはずよ
You can check the names of every student in the school using the computer in the library room.

-行ってみましょう
Let’s go check it out

p37

-こ 心葉くんお願い
Ko-Konoha-kun please.

-わたし機械は相性が悪いの
I’m not compatible with machines.

-相性って...
Compatible you say...

-ただ検索するだけですよ
It's just a matter of the right query.

p38

-四人は女子ですね
4 of them are girls huh.

-シュウジに似た名前はないわ
There are no names similar to Shuuji.

-心葉くん。。。
Konoha-kun...

-ええ
Yea.

p39

-なんてこった
Damn

-片岡愁二という人間は弓道部だけではなくこの学園に存在していないのだ
The person named Kataoka Shuuji, it's not just that he isn't a member of the Archery Club, hes not even a student at this school.

Notes:


p34

The book that Tooko-senpai is referring to is 修道院の女神(Priori No Megami) or "The Haunted Heart."

p35

"Were you on duty today?"
- In Japanese high schools, students are responsible for the cleanliness of the school and their classrooms, so students take turns cleaning up the classrooms or halls at the end of the day.

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#1. by serizawa (ならぬことはならぬ)
Posted on Jun 2, 2009
Hi Krelian ^^

Your translation has improved A LOT since the last time I've read a translation of yours! ^^ It's really nice to see such a huge improvement ^^

It still needs a more in-depth proofreading to make the translation easier to read, but it's incredibly better than before! Ask for a proofreader at the "Help a translator" forum to check your work and I'm sure it'll be even better ^^

I have a couple of suggestions, which goes below:


p2
-その無垢な輝きで自分を救ってください。
Please save me with that pure radiance.
-> Please save me with that pure light that you shine.

p7
-ちいって竹田さんのことじゃないの?
Chii is referring to you right?
-> That "Chii" is referring to you, right?

p8
-答えちゃダメっ
You can’t answer him.
-> Don't answer him!

p24
-昨日愁二先輩からお手紙いただいたんですけで内容が。。。
I received a letter from him yesterday but inside...
-> I received a letter from him yesterday, but the contents...

p25
-次は移動教室だから
I have to change classrooms for the next class.
-> Next class will be outside, so...


p27
-えっあれ?
Eh-Huh?
-> W... what?

p30
-やっぱり見た目もそこそこのはずだようねえ
As I though, his appearance was supposed to be so-so.
-> So, his appearance shouldn't be that bad.

-弓道部で一番カッコいいのってどう見ても芥川くんだようなあ
-> No matter how you look at it, the coolest person in the archery club is Akutagawa-kun.


p31
-それとも教室ではクールだけど部活てはひょうきんだったりするのかなあ
Could it be that he acts more coldly in the classroom while being humorous during club activities?

p34
-昨日お風呂でカーとランドの修道院の女神を読み返してたらつい夢中になっちゃって
Last night, I was reading the Cartland's "The Haunted Heart" in the bathtub and dozed off.

p37
-ただ検索するだけですよ
I'm just looking things up.
-> It's just a matter of a simple query.

After revising and proofreading your translation, please PM me so that I can approve it :)
#2. by madsin92 (Registered User)
Posted on Jun 11, 2009
-けれど、あの子も、自分が人を殺したことを知ったら、それでも自分を愛してくれるでしょうか。
But, will she still love me if she found out that I had killed someone?
But would she still love me if she found out that i had killed someone?

-答えちゃダメっ
You can’t answer him.
Don't answer him!

The rest serizawa's already said so it's fine.
=)
#3. by Quintuple (Registered User)
Posted on Jun 14, 2009
I am utterly useless when it comes to translating; I only know one kanji: 'の'. I can help you with proofing though: look for a ★, they are right ★before things I've changed. Most of it is just minor stuff, I don't have that much to add, your translation flows pretty well :)

p3

That day, crushing the soft flesh, with the bitter sweet scent of blood spreading out on top of the black asphalt,
>> with the ★bittersweet scent of blood

p12

There's no doubt that something happened but...
>> that something ★has happened★, but...

p15

Yesterdays change.
>> ★Yesterday's change.

-おつりのおつりをちょうだい
Give me the change for the change.
>> I'm guessing you mean 'for ★a change'?

p16

-今細かいのないや
I don't have such a small amount right now.
>> This doesn't really flow well, consider 'I don't have ★that ★on ★me right now': it means the same.

-井上いきなり教室に入ってきたでしょ
You abruptly came in to the classroom right?
>> I'd go for 'You ★suddenly came ★into the classroom★, right?'.

p21

-ごめんねよっちゃん先行ってて
Sorry Yo-chan go ahead without me.
>> Sorry★, Yo-chan★, go ahead

-心葉先輩こっちこっち
Konoha-senpai, this way this way.
>> Konoha-senpai, this way★, this way.

p26

-芥川くんは弓道部だったよね?
You're in the archery club aren't you Akutagawa-kun?
>> archery club★, aren't you★, Akutagawa-kun?

p27

-ああ そうだが
Yea that's right.
>> Yea★, that's right.

p28

-三年じゃなくて二年だ
But he’s a second year not third.
>> But he's a second ★year's★, not ★a third ★year's.

-名前を間違えておぼえているなんてことが有りえるのだろうか
Is it even possible that she confused and remembered the wrong name?
>> she ★got confused and remembered

p29

-弓道部って見学させてもらえるかな?
Does the archery club allow students to observe practice?
>> Does the archery club allow ★non-members to observe practice?
>> This sentence can be misinterpreted, changing 'students' to 'non-members' fixes that.

p35

-シャンパインは風呂水の味も入浴剤の味もしないと思いますけど
I don't think champagne tastes the like bath water or bathing powder.
>> champagne tastes ★ like bath water or

p37

-ただ検索するだけですよ
It's just a matter of query.
>> Maybe 'It's just a matter of ★the ★right query.'?
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