Short Piece Oneshot : Space Patrol Shigema

More Otomo Wackiness

Space Patrol Shigema

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Space Patrol Shigema

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Shuuji!
Hm?

Yo!
Oh! Konno!

You just get off that last train?
Yeah, you too?

Oh, you bought some.
Yeah...

I swiped some yakitori from my job.

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Those guys are late...
I'm sure I told 'em 9 o'clock.

You know what time it is around now?
I don't know, probably around 9:30.

Maaaaan, what a sad new years party. [lonely/desolate new years party]

Ugh, this is all we've got left.

*Kon Kon [knock]

Oh- they're here!

You guys are late, we were getting desperate about the alcohol. [we were getting worried about the alcohol]
What'd you get?
A bottle of Nekomasamune's finest.
Whoa!

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You guys want it chilled or warmed?

You think we'd want it chilled after walking here in the cold?

Come to daddy! I've been waiting for you.

*Kata Kata

The alcohol is probably about ready.

Can you believe it? We're gonna be 23 this year. [:-(]

Yeah, I know, I know.
Then, I mean, why haven't you got yourself a girlfriend?
Women again...?

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I've just got an innate hatred for women.

And I've got an innate love for them.
Oh, you dog, you're making me blush. [he's immitating a woman here]

But, women sure are hard to understand, you're gonna end up like Oosawa.

So, I heard you had your heart broken~

Waa-
Cheers!!
*Kachi-

I'm trying to deal with it... but it's just so tough, man.

Taekooooooooo!

What the hell was that!?
Ahhahaha hahhahaha. Man, that's hilarious. Once he starts cryin' it's over.

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Hey, shut the window, it's cold...
Ah, sorry.

Ain't got no booze left.
Yup.

You know, it's gonna be pretty boring if this is all we're gonna do.
Don't you guys wanna do something?

Like...?

Like, why don't we share some secrets about ourselves that we've never told anyone else before.

You've got some bad taste.

I'm down for it, but are the rest of you gonna talk?
Well, I'm all liquored up, and I've got nothing to hide. Though I'm pretty boring...

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If you're really gonna talk, then I guess I'll play along.

All right then, Oosawa, you go first.

You've probably got the most interesting thing to reveal.

I don't know... are you guys really going to talk too...?

Stop stalling! Hurry up!

Okay... you guys might not believe me but...

I'm... actually from the planet Venus. [a Venetian]

Hey, this is the truth! I'm for real!
Ah man, I knew this was gonna happen.
So, then, you're a Martian, and I'm... from Mercury.

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Huh? Since when did you go from being a heart broken chump to being from Venus?

Hey, this is 'cause you guys were tellin' me to talk.
You guys don't believe me?
*Don

Man, and here I thought we were gonna have a serious conversation. Seriously, Venus?

What? What's wrong?

Ah!

Oosawa...

Whoa!
*Pakin

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What... what'd you just do...
How 'bout it? Believe me now? That wasn't a trick or anything.
*Pakin kachin Kan

Well, you guys are next.

Konno, say something!
Um.
*Kara Kara Kachin

To be honest... I'm also... er, I mean...

I'm from Mercury.

When the hell did this kinda joke become so popular. And you guys said I had bad taste.

That alcohol is cold, right?
Hey, come on, enough with the cups already. [or, don't break another cup]

*Poko-

Ah jeez, that's hot!
Konno, did you do that!?

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*Gobo-

And now that brings us too... Shuuji, it's your turn.
*Kachi-

Everything you guys have said has been a bit fishy but... I guess I've got no choice

Shigemasa... this is what you call, bad taste.

... Shuuji, you...

Sorry guys, I'm a Martian...
Hope it's not too big of a shock... [Have I completely shocked you?]

You're right, that is bad taste... wearing a mask under another mask...

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I'M A MARTIAN~ WOOOH-
GO--
Ahhh!

You idiot! You tryin' to burn down the apartment or something!?

Most earthlings would consider it pretty grotesque but...
There we go...
*Zubo-

You guys probably all actually look like that too.
*Go- Kasa-
No way, I look way better than you.

Idiot, maybe with that face you got on now.
Hahahaha, can you believe this guy, Shigemasa?

Oh yeah, Shigemasa...
That's right, you're up next.

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You heard our secrets but you're not going to tell us yours?
Yeah, what's going on?

Heh heh heh

What's going on? Is he laughing at your face, Shuuji?
Dumbass, what are you talking about?

Ahahhahaha hahhahaha

Don't be shocked when you hear my secret!
*Gata

Ready?
*Gara

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Dosa-

Mmn-

*Ji-ppa

Oops!

What? So you're gay?
Whoa, stop that, jerk!

So he's a flaming homo. [A gay boy]
Now that's truly bad taste.
Shut up, I'm...

I'm placing all you guys under arrest. How do you like that?

Ah, I've got it backwards.

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Has it gotten smaller?

And the helmet... and here's the belt...

Helmet? ... Belt? ...

Name's Shigema from space patrol!
Earth subdivision, Milky way department!
I knew it...

My mission is to capture alien scum like you.

Hey, you'll catch a cold in that skin tight outfit.
Were those clothes expensive... Made in the USA?
Man, you don't even have any space shoes. [You're barefoot]
Shut up! All of you!

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Hey, where the heck are we going this early in the morning. Aren't you freezing like that?
Ughhh brrrrr-

*Gacha Gacha
Ughhh I-I-I ain't c-c-cold.

What's with this gun, it doesn't even shoot.
*Pu-n Pu-n

Don't touch that. It's not charged up.

Hey, I heard that the girls 'round here get harrassed sometimes. [girls get pranked/teased]
That's got to be the work of an alien.
This is a LA-SER-GUN!

He probably uses it as a vibrator too.
Shut up! I'm taking you guys over to the ship. [flying saucer]
The ship?

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He~y, come on, hurry up.

Take a look, those guys down there are still starin' at us.
Shit... this is embarrassing.

Lend me some money for the train, I forgot my wallet. I think I left it back there...
Man, don't talk to me!

Everyone's starin' at Shigemasa.
They're starin' at us too.
Wouldya look at that.

This ticket won't come out! This God damn ticket! Sunnova bitch! Don't underestimate me!
Man, I think it'd be less embarrassing if he were actually drunk. [It'd be better if he were drunk]
*Ban Doka- Doka- Ban Ban

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*Ha-

Hey, where the hell are we goin'?
Huh?

I gotta take you guys down to the space patrol HQ, obviously.

Is that around Hachiouji?
Ahahaha, you guys all having fun? [you guys find us interesting?]
Hahaha
Yeah!

These guys are headed to Andromeda.
Are you retarded?
Hey hey.
Andromeda...

You guys don't have a branch down 'round Shibuya?

These guys are pretty interesting, aren't they?
But they're all bad space aliens.
Retard!
Hey, be a good kid and run along. [go over there]
Oh! Aliens!

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Shigemasa! You came all the way out here...!?

Well it's not like I could just leave my ship at a parking lot.

Hm?
I left mine at a school...

Excuse me, are you filming something for TV...? For the kids?

Uhh, yeah... it's a new program called "Space Patrol Shigema"...
Oh, I thought so... that's what it looked like.

Hey, where's your mom?

I'm here by myself... but, are you guys really aliens?

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No-no-no, no way, that's just a joke. You know, a joke!

But that guy says you're an alien.
Shut up! What do you mean, a school!?

Wait a second.
Hey, we're here.

All right, let's hurry up.

Here we are.

It's cooooooold~
*Biya-kusho-n [sneeze]

That kid followed us out here.

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Hey kid, go home~!

*Waa- Enbann! [Nonsense]

Man, you wouldn't want your parents to see you like that.

He's calling his space ship, isn't he...

*U-mu

*Gobo Gobo

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*Za za za za

He did it.

Heh heh...

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Aha
Ahaha

Heheheh hahaha

Ahahahahaha
Maaaan, whatta helluva new years party.
Yeah, it's been pretty interesting.

It really was interesting, wasn't it?
You idiot, what are you talkin' about.
Yeah, you were the most interestin' one.

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*Ahahahahaha ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- haha

I knew it... Aliens really do exist!