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Translations: Gintama 515 (2)

Coffee Jikan 6

Hate to see you go

en
+ posted by Laika as translation on Jan 22, 2009 11:31 | Go to Coffee Jikan

-> RTS Page for Coffee Jikan 6


男たちは崖ッぶち
Text Left: Men on the edge.
好評12ページ連載
Text Bottom: The acclaimed 12 page serial.


第6話 Hate to see you go
Text Bottom: Chapter 6: Hate to see you go


。。。いつまで こうやってるつもりだ?
Gangster: ... How long you gonna keep this up?
もう30分は経つぜ
Gangster: It's been a half hour already.

だったらさっさと撃っちゃあいいだろう
Deserter: Why don't you just go ahead and shoot then!
実弾が残ってりゃの話だけどな
Deserter: If you got the balls or the bullets to.

タマが切れたか残ってるかわからねえのはお互い様だ
Gangster: We're both on that ship.
それでこうやってバカみてえににらめっこしてるんだから
Gangster: And we look like idiots at a staring contest.


腕がしびれてきたぜ
Gangster: My arms startin' to get numb.
さっさとけりをつけるか
Gangster: How 'bout we put an end to this.

まあ 待てよ
Deserter: Hold on.
コーヒーでも飲まねえか?
Deserter: You fancy some coffee?

コーヒー?
Gangster: Coffee?


おい 動くな!
Gangster: Hey - Don't move!
こんな状況だから目分量。。。 いや手分量でかんべんしてくれよ
Deserter: I'm in a pretty sad state so give me a break about eyeballing... I mean, hand measuring it.
動くなっていってるだろう!!
Gangster: I told you not to move!
コーヒーを煎れるだけだよ
Deserter: All I'm doin' is makin' coffee.

ここまできたんだ 急いで命のやり取りすることもないだろう
Deserter: We've already come this far. We don't need to be in a rush to off each other.


いい香りだ
Gangster: Smells good.

お前がくるだろうと思って好きなブレンド用意して待ってたんだ。
Deserter: I thought you might be droppin' by so I made sure I had some of that blend you like.

へッ
Gangster: Hmph


そこのテーブルに置け
Gangster: Leave it on the table.

なあ「ヤマダ」のこと覚えてるか?
Deserter: Hey, you remember "Yamada"?

ヤマダ?
Gangster: Yamada?


群馬のパチンコ屋か?裏金パクろうとした
Gangster: The Gunma Pachiko Place? Tryin' to steal those bribes?
そうそう 志賀のジイさんと一緒に組んだ仕事
Deserter: Yea yea. That job we did with old man Shiga.

忘れわけねえだろう あんな非道ェ目に遭ったことねえぜ
Gangster: How could I forget 'bout that. Never had anything go so bad before

ズラかるとき 夜道飛ばしすぎて 田んぼん中突っ込んだんだよな
Deserter: When we were gettin' away we lost control and got stuck in that rice paddy

ああそうだ それで 車 残して泥だらけで 山ん中 逃げ回ったんだ 重いいバッグ持って
Gangster: Yeah, we had to leave the car behind and run around the mountains all muddy, carrying those heavy bags.
そう それで ジイさんの 痔が痛みだして もう歩けねえって泣き入れてさ
Deserter: And then the old man's hemorrhoids started flarin' up- sobbin' 'bout how he couldn't walk no more
一晩かかって町へ出てバッグ開けたら中は全部景品でな
Gangster: Took the whole damn night to get outta the city and we open the bag up and its fulla consolation prizes.


あの頃は何かでかいことがやりたかったし
Deserter: Back then we wanted to pull off something big.
なんでも出来るような気がしてたんだよな
Deserter: And we felt like we could do anything.

結局あの景品どうしたんだっけ?
Gangster: Whatever happened to those prizes?
ジイさんの伝手でバッタ屋に売り払ったけど車の修理代にもならなかった
Deserter: With the old man's connections we managed to pawn them off, but they weren't even enough to cover the repairs for the car.

どうして組の金を持ち逃げしたりしたんだ
Gangster: Why'd you have to do something like stealing money from the organization.
逃げ切れるとでも思ったのか?
Gangster: You thought you'd be able to get away scot free?

10
わかってる。。。
Deserter: I know...
でもしょうがなかった。。。 しょうがなかったんだ。
Deserter: But I didn't have a choice... I didn't have a choice...

でもな どうせ殺られるならお前の手で
Deserter: But, you know, if I've gotta die, I'd rather it be by your hand.

。。。どうだいもう止めにしねえか?
Deserter: ... How's 'bout we quit this?

何?
Gangster: What?

11
お前 組に戻ったってどうせ冷や飯食いなんだろう?
Deserter: You returned to the organization but you're just a small fry.
だったら俺と一緒に南の島にでも逃げねえか?この金を元手にまた何か商 売でも始めようぜ
Deserter: Why don't you and me run away together to the southern islands. With this money we could start some kinda business up again.

どうだい?
Deserter: How 'bout it?

そうだな。。。
Gangster: Yeah...

12
男たちが選んだ結末は、こーひーだけが知っている。
The fate that these men chose, Only the coffee knows


Notes:
Well, I really like triad/yakuza type stories. One's that pit a single man against an organization... I love those lone wolf type movies, Le Samourai, A Bittersweet Life... And those quiet yakuza type films by Beat Takeshi during the 90s... And you get the added drama of old friends having to choose between loyalty to an organization and comraderie. So anyways, this one is my favorite so far. The framing and the pacing... the repeated motifs of the back and forth with the pov of the gun barrels. The physical and spacial distances and tension that's going on juxtaposed with the friendly act of sharing a cup of coffee. Its got that hardboiled feeling that I'm a fan of.

Anyways, Japanese gangsters speak pretty different, and these guys don't speak like the stereotypical shounen yakuza but they are a little slangish. I tried my best to convey this, but its difficult to find an equivalent. I don't know if contractions and compounding is enough to emphasize how the slang might seem. I also was some what liberal with the expressions used.

There's a pun on balls/bullets there and I did my best with that, but since there's not an english word that I know that has that double entendre I couldn't really make the same joke. The other guy's reply uses the same pun but is even more difficult to translate saying that neither of them know if they're out (balls/bullets) or if they've got any. Since it repeats the pun and it would be even more awkward to use the same line again, I just compromised and went with the second half of what he was saying, which was that the situation was the same for the both of them. Anyways, maybe someone can figure out a better line for that.

こんな状況だから目分量。。。 いや手分量でかんべんしてくれよ
Deserter: I'm in a pretty sad state so give me a break about eyeballing... I mean, hand measuring it. This joke about his arm being shot could use some editing too.

The last couple of lines... I think its difficult, and I'm struggling to find some other word to express the nuance in it. I don't know if there's something so short in english that is so gray in its acquiescence. I don't know, maybe the ellipses afterwards is enough to express the uncertainty you should feel with the English.

Other small things... The "prizes" that they're referring to are probably the prizes you can get from winning at pachinko parlors. I translated it as consolation prizes, but maybe there's a better term for it.

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Alias: Laika
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