Übel Blatt
6.3
Junge Blatter Young Blade II
-> RTS Page for Übel Blatt 6.3
Any critiques are much appreciated, thanks!
Ubel Blatt Vol 6 Chapter 3
Pg. 53
Junge Blatter 若葉 II
Junge Blatter Young Blade II
Pg. 55
Ato: あっ。。。うぐ。。。うああ。。。
Ah…Ugh…Uaah…
Koinzell: 頼むアト。。。
I beg you, Ato…
Koinzell: 耐えてくれ。。。
Please endure it for me…
Koinzell: 僕の血を受け入れてくれ。。。！
Please accept my blood!
Pg. 56
Pawn #1: はっ。。。ははははっ。。。
Ha…Hahahaha…
Pg. 57
Pawn #1: すげえ。。。すげえぞ。。。！
Incredible…Fucking Incredible…!
Pawn #1: 僕達今。。。自由都市を蹂躙してるぜ。。。！
We are overrunning Jullas Abllas now!
Angry chick: ちょっと！！
Hey!!
Angry chick: あなた方っ！！！
You guys!!!
Pg. 58
どういうおつもりですのこれは！！？
What is all this!!?
Pawn #1: エ。。。エルサリア様。。。！？
E…Erusaria-sama!?
Pg. 59
Pawn #1: エ。。。エルサリア様。。。これはですね。。。
E…Erusaria-sama…Well, you see this is…
その。。。あの。。。
That is…well…
Angry chick: 問答無用ですわ！
There is no use arguing about it!
Angry chick: 今すぐこの恥知らずな行いをやめて兵をお退きなさい！！
Stop this shameless act and retreat at once!!
Pawn #2: 。。。なるほど。。。
I see…
Pawn #2: あなたがヴァルゲの言っていた。。 選帝侯のお息女か。。。
You are the one he was talking about. The imperial elector’s daughter…
Pg. 60
Pawn #2: お言葉ながら
We respect your words, but…
Pawn #2: 兵は退けませんな
The men cannot be retreated
Pawn #2: この自由都市は“英雄殺しの逆賊”をかくまい。。。
This city has sheltered the treacherous hero killer.
Pawn #2: 砲台伯への。。。ひいては帝国への反逆を準備していた！
And it has been preparing for mutiny, not only against the main army… but also for the entire imperial!
Pawn #2: よって我々はバレスター砲台伯の命により。。。
Therefore, because we are the life of Barestar’s army…
Pawn #2: これに鉄槌を下す！！
We shall make an example of them here!!
Pg. 61
Angry chick: 戯れ言を！！
Are you joking!!
Angry chick: そんな証拠がどこに。。。
Where is the proof…
Pawn #2: “証拠”だと。。。？
“Proof” you say?
Pawn #2: そんなものは必要ない
No such thing will be necessary
Pg. 62
Pawn #2: そんなものを用意している猶予はない
There is no time to prepare such things
Crazy guy: 役立たずはいらん。。。！
We don’t need good-for-nothings!
Crazy guy: わかっているな。。。！？
Do you understand?
Pawn #2: この自由都市を制圧し
We will take control of this city
Pawn #2: 領主を処刑し
Execute the feudal lords…
Pawn #2: 新しい領主に。。。そうだな。このヴァルゲあたりをした上で。
After we finish with this, we will need a new feudal lord. Valge you will do.
Pawn #2: 反逆の動きがあったと帝都に報告すればいい
We can tell the Imperial Capital there was a rebellion.
Pg. 63
Pawn #2: 勝ち残った方の言葉が正しい言葉になるのだ
The last one standing’s words become the right words
Angry chick: なんて非道な。。。！
That's inhuman!
Angry chick: わかりませんわ。。。
I don’t understand…
Angry chick: 七英雄の一人ともあろう方がこんな男を代官にしているだなんて
For one of the seven heroes, of all people, to make a deputy officer of this kind of guy???
Pawn #2: フン。。。
Hmph..
Pawn #2: ではどうする。。。
Then what…
Pg. 64
Pawn #2: 貴公四人で。。。
You four…
Pawn #2: この軍勢を止められるとでも。。。？
You think you could stop this military force???
Pg. 65
Pawn #2: これは領内の問題。。。
This is our problem…
Pawn #2: 黙って見ていてくださりさえすれば。。。我々もグレン侯の騎士に 軍勢をけしかけてなぶり殺しにしたりせずに
If only you be quiet and watch… we won’t have to kill one of Glenn’s knights.
Pg. 67
Pawn #2: 進軍!!
Forward!!
Pg. 68
Pawn #2: 領主の館を制圧しろ！！
Take complete control of the Lord’s mansion!!
Black haired guy: 無理だカルクリスエルツエン。。。
It’s impossible, Karusurisu, Erutsuen…
Pg. 69
Black haired guy: 大勢に無勢だ
We are outnumbered by too much
Angry chick: ダリステ。。。
Daliste…
Angry chick: 何か策。。。！
There has to be some kind of plan…
Black haired guy: 現状では打つ手がない。。。
There is nothing we can do in the present conditions…
Black haired guy: 無理だ。。。
It’s impossible…
Angry chick: “無理”ですって。。。！？
Impossible?
Angry chick: このような狼藉を見逃すなど。。。！！
Are you telling us to overlook such violence!!
Angry chick: 何か。。
There has gotta be something…
Pg. 70
Angry chick: 何か策おを考えなさい！！
Think about a plan!!
Pg. 72
Older brother: どうしたんだアト。。。嬉しそうな顔をして。。。
Ato looks very happy. Whats up?
Ato: 兄さん。。。。今日ケインツエルンが。。。
Older brother…Today, Koinzell…
Ato: ケインツエルンがやっと僕の戦いを認めてくれたんだ。。。！
Koinzell finally acknowledged my fighting skills!
Ato: すごく嬉しい。。。！
I am so happy!
Ato: だから。。。ぼく。。もう。。。
So, I’m finally…
Older brother/koinzell: まだだよ。。
No, not yet..
Older brother/koinzell: まだ僕は満足していない。。。アト。。。！
I’m not satisfied yet…Ato!
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You've got the accuracy down pat for the most part, but it'd be best to adhere a little closer to the text. There are quite a few places where you missed out the ellipses, so it'd be great if you filled them in.
Also, a list of other suggestions:
Pawn #2: あなたがヴァルゲの言っていた。。 選帝侯のお息女か。。。
You are the one he was talking about. The imperial elector’s daughter…
> "You're the one Valge spoke of... The Imperial Elector's daughter..."
Pawn #2: 兵は退けませんな
The men cannot be retreated
> "The troops will not be withdrawn."
Pawn #2: この自由都市は“英雄殺しの逆賊”をかくまい。。。
This city has sheltered the treacherous hero killer.
> "This free city has sheltered the 'treacherous hero killer'..."
Pawn #2: 砲台伯への。。。ひいては帝国への反逆を準備していた！
And it has been preparing for mutiny, not only against the main army… but also for the entire imperial!
> "And it has been preparing for mutiny... Not only against the Batteriegraf, but also against the Empire!"
Pawn #2: よって我々はバレスター砲台伯の命により。。。
Therefore, because we are the life of Barestar’s army…
> "So for this reason, more so than because of Batteriegraf Barester's order..."
Angry chick: 戯れ言を！！
Are you joking!!
> Zaregoto means more like 'nonsense' or 'monkey talk'. I'd go for the former.
Pawn #2: 新しい領主に。。。そうだな。このヴァルゲあたりをした上で。
After we finish with this, we will need a new feudal lord. Valge you will do.
> "We'll need a new feudal lord... Ah, yes. Someone like Valge will do."
Pawn #2: 勝ち残った方の言葉が正しい言葉になるのだ
The last one standing’s words become the right words
> You're correct, though it sounds a little awkward in English. Something like "The last one standing determines what is right." would probably be better.
Angry chick: なんて非道な。。。！
That's inhuman!
> This has more of a nuance of "How unjust...!"
Pawn #2: これは領内の問題。。。
This is our problem…
> "This is an intra-territorial dispute..."
Basically the Company of Seven Lances is a unit that works under Glenn, so technically they don't have any jurisdiction.
Pawn #2: 黙って見ていてくださりさえすれば。。。我々もグレン侯の騎士に 軍勢をけしかけてなぶり殺しにしたりせずに
If only you be quiet and watch… we won’t have to kill one of Glenn’s knights.
> "... We won't have to mobilise our troops to kill Glenn's knights." (lit: instigate our troops to kill)
There isn't any mention about 'one of Glenn's knights', which makes sense, since keeping any one of them alive would reveal to the emperor that they lied about the rebellion.
Older brother: どうしたんだアト。。。嬉しそうな顔をして。。。
Ato looks very happy. Whats up?
> Best to retain the original sentence order. Doesn't seem to violate any grammatical/conversational rules in English, does it?
I hope you do more.