Naruto 318

I hope this turns out well. I used the same translation techniques as Companies such as Viz to bring you a truly american experience!

Page 1:
Text: A Story of Courage. A Story of Friendship.

Page 2: Naruto the Movie 3: It's like filler, only longer!

Page 3:
Kakashi: All right, it's about time to take advantage of all that practice.
Focus on what you learned today and end the Jutsu.
Naruto: Ooookay! ossu
SFX: POOFPOOFPOOF
Naruto: Whew...

Page 4:
Yamato: Wait, what does ossu mean?...

Page 5:
Naruto: I can do this. Believe it.
Just give me one second... BELIEVE IT.

<He Falls>

Kakashi: The damage you take adds up, just like the knowledge you acquired. Maybe I should wait for you to wake up to tell you this...

Page 6:
Tobi: YEEEEEEEEEEES!
Deidra-san, did you see my jutsu??
I totally owned this biatch!

I mean, I JUST became a member and I'm already Mackin' these cats -
best give me sum respect n' shit!
I'm DA MAN!

Deidra: Uh...actually, it was my C4 that did most of the work...
my WMD's are what deserves the respect here! Mmm!

Page 7:
Deidra: Don't start thinking you took him out by yourself RIGHT after I helped you out!
And would you PLEASE be a little more, I dunno, white? Akatsuki should only speak Proper English.
It's not like how you don't have to be Japanese to create manga.

Tobi: Hehe...but isn't Zetsu green? And aren't you asian? And doesn't the comic need to be made in japan for it to be considered...GHAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

Page 8:
Narutos: YEEEEEEEEEEES!BELIEVE IT!!!!
Learning that technique will be easy!

Kakashi: It's a good thing I thought of that brilliant...

Page 9:
Naruto: Whatever, believe it, let's move on t-
Kakashi: Slow down! You're more than capable, there's no rush.
Yamato, time for a break.

Page 10:
Kakashi: Feeling better?
Naruto: I passed out again? Believe it?
Kakashi: This training style's going to wear you out pretty quickly...
Take a break, we'll get started again soon.

Started with the next step, that is.

Naruto: What is it this time? Datte--I mean, BELIEVE IT.

Page 11:
Kakashi: Slicing the waterfall.
Naruto: THAT??BELIEVE IT

Yamato: In order to master using large bursts of wind-natured chakra, you'll be trying to cut the waterfall in two
just by placing your hands under it.

Kakashi: Clearing this step
should give you mad skillz yo.

Naruto: Meaning I'll already be able to use one element, believe it?

Page 12:
Kakashi: I never would have thought a retard like Naruto would have gotten the hang of Nature Manipulation this quickly...
This method's already exceeded all my expectations! He's liek goku!
Naruto: Break's over!
Gotta get back to work! Habeeb it!

Mass Shadow Doppleganger Technique!

Page 13:
Deidra: I mean it, Tobi! Don't push your luck!
The Three-Tails was weak because it's not actually a Jinchuuriki
It's just a dumb 50 ft tall demon that can't use its powers.

Uhh...You don't have to act THAT cool, you know...
Say SOMEthi-

Page 14:
Toby: Snzxxxxxxxxxxxxxxzzz...
GHAAAAAAAARRAAAAAAAAA!
Deidra: WAKE UP JERKFACE!

Page 15:
Kakuzu: You carry him for a while.
Hidan: Christ no! You're the one who wants the money,
YOU carry him?

What's in the name of the lord is your problem?!

Kakuzu: Hidan, I swear, one day I am going to fucking murder you.
Hidan: That's not much to worry about...not for me, anyways

Page 16:
Tsunade: That's it.
Any questions?

Page 17:
Tsunade: Yes?
Asuma: That person was obviously one of the "Twelve Ninja Guardsmen".
What happened to their leader, Chiriku?

Monk: He...died fighting the intruders.

Page 18:
Asuma: You're kidding me...
Darn, He owed me 20 bucks...

Tsunade: I'd like to know what they want, but they're extremely powerful opponents.
If capture isn't possible, make sure to kill them. Headshots, just to be safe.

And no matter what, don't allow them to leave the Fire Country.
Make sure you find them!
Now go!

Move out!

No, really. Go.

Page 19:
Asuma: Hmm...
We'll start with the Fire Temple.

Bottom: The battle between the Leaf and Akatsuki begins, and Naruto's training continues! Man, that sucks. the hero is missing out...
Next time: Catastrophe!