Short Program 26

Short Program, Volume 3, Chapter 26 (pp. 7~36)


<7>
Clogs and Diamonds

KERPLU—NK


<8&9>
Clogs and Diamonds


<10>
=The steamy detective Ranko Idogawa, Episode VI.
[reference]Japanese mystery novelist Rampo Edogawa.

=The naked beauty outdoor hot-springs closed-room serial murder mystery!

=The housekeeper was asleep!
SNORE~

=This month, this night, under this full moon—
=A forgotten deadline from 20 years past, returns to life!

=What horrible truths lie in store for us in this episode—!?


<11>
=Are you stupid?

=A naked beauty outdoor hot-springs closed-room serial murder mystery?

=You won't find any beauties bathing with their clothes on, so you don't even need to mention that.//And besides, it's already a huge mystery how an outdoor hot-springs turned into a closed room in the first place.

=You won't write anything worthwhile if you stay out here thinking you're on vacation.//This is what happens when I don't keep an eye on you.
=Get back to your room and concentrate.


<12>
=Kohei Taguchi (age 26)

=Hurry—!

CLONK

=Pen name Ichiro Shinkiba. Profession: Writer—

=Willing to do all kinds of writing from fiction to non-fiction, but rarely gets a chance to step up to the plate.//Popular works—None, of course.
WHOOSH


<13>
=Currently writing the script for a 2-hour drama, thanks to an introduction from a friendly TV producer.

=This is the TV producer's summer house—

=And this is the producer's younger sister, Chiaki Shinjo (age 19)
=Oh.

=Yo,//Where were you?

=Her guy friend—
=...Dunno his name.

BOOF


<14>
=Do your work, okay.
=I don't get paid either if it isn't done by the time my brother comes back.

VRRRR..
=Alright, sir.//Good luck.

=—I'm just filling in for someone else, of course.//Plus, I only have 3 days to get the whole thing done...
=Apparently, she's supposed to be the warden while I'm locked up in this house.

=Hmph.


<15>
=Where's Chiaki?

=Oh,//She went driving in a convertible with a guy wearing sunglasses just now.
=Oh, shoot.//Must be Yasu.

=Oh, I'm Toshiaki Okishima.//I run a fishing boat with my old man out in the ocean over there.
=Here's a little souvenir.
=Oh, really.

=I've been hanging out with Chiaki ever since she started coming to this summer house when she was little.//Well, same goes for Yasu, I guess.

=Did you know?//That guy with the sunglasses is the only son of that huge hotel in front of the train station.
=Oh, really.

=No point if she's not here.//Guess I'll head home.
=Bye bye.


<16>
=I heard you're a novelist.

=Oh,//Well,
=Yeah,//Sorta...

=Alright,//Say hi to Chiaki for me.
BLAM!

VROOM

=Now that the introductions are out of the way...
=Right,//Back to work.

SCREECH

=Okay, bye.
BATHUMP
=See ya.


<17>
=Gee—z,//My hair's all crumbly.
=Feels yucky.

=I'm gonna take a bath.
PATHUMP

=This summer house also has a hot springs in it.
ZWISH—

WHOOSH

BATHUMP

VRRRR..


<18>
KERPLU—NK

=Beauties don't bathe with their clothes on,//—Huh.
[x2]SCRATCH

Z-ZWISH...

=Huh?

=Let's see...

=Here it is.


<19>
PSS—T
=Oh.

=AAA—CK!

WHOO—SH

=What the hell is that stuff!?//I can't stop crying!
[x2]SPLASH
=Anti-pervert spray.

=Well, many different situations can come to mind,//Living under the same roof for a whole 3 days.

=By the way, a guard from the security company will come flying over if I press this button.

=Ohh,//Is that so!


<20>
=Hey,//You've only gotten this far?
=Don't read it without permission!

=Isn't this,//A tad too forced?

=You haven't watched this series? It's even stupider than that.

=Oh—
=So you want to write stupid stuff, huh.

=I've only gotten this far 'cause I don't know how to write stupid stuff!
=Then why don't you just write what you want to write.

=I'm not in a position to do that.

=You don't have confidence?
=I've got nothing to fall back on.


<21>
=Wow—So you're willing to write something that you think is stupid and boring,//As long as it gets your name out there, huh.

=Who cares!

THUCK THUCK THUCK...

BEEP BEE—P

=Chiaki—//The ship's free today. Wanna go out to the ocean for a while?
=Okay.

VROO—M


<22>
=Warden my ass.//All she does is hang out with guys.

=She seemed so nice and shy when I first met her,//Just 4 years, and she turns into that.

ROLL

[label]Perverts Be Gone

=He—y,//You forgot your little weapon here—!
=You sure you don't need it when you're out alone with a guy in the middle of the ocean—?

BOOP BOO—P


<23>
VROOM

[bubble]CH-//CH-
[bubble]CHIRP

=My,//What's this?

=I came up with an interesting story-line,//But I'm coming up short on the number of sex scenes.
=Mr. Shinjo told me to include at least four of 'em.


<24>
=I was wondering what was giving you so much trouble...//That's so idiotic.

=Hey, where are you going?

=There's a limit to human concentration.//Let me take a breather.
=Fine,//You have 30 minutes!

CLONK

=7pm tomorrow.//—Got it? You better not screw up.

=I got it.//I'll get that novelist guy outta there for you.


<25>
=You better not screw up either.//Chiaki's pretty sharp, you know.

=Idiot, I've got her trust.//Unlike you.
=If I wanna trick her, she's gonna be tricked.

=I'm looking forward to this.

=Likewise.

CLANG
=Thank you very mu—ch.

CLACK

=Please don't sleep here, mister.
=I'm awake.


<26>
=He's not my boyfriend.//Neither of them are.

=Just friends.//Good friends that I've been playing with every since I was little.

=They're not little anymore.

=I'm just saying you shouldn't trust guys too much.

=Especially guys around that age. 80% of the time, their heads are filled with—
=You're the one who's thinking about sex scenes all day long!
=They aren't like that!

=This is my job!

=I'm not going to let you bad-mouth those two.


<27>
=They're really nice guys.

=Yeah,//Whatever.

=Like I care!

SQUISH

ZZT...


<28>
DING DO—NG

=Tomorrow—

=Oh, hey mister.//Wanna go night-fishing?
=...7pm.

=Go for it.//He's making you a kind offer.
=There's a limit to your concentration, right?

=Alright!

=I'll go out to sea, you'll see what you're in for.
VRR—


<29>
=Gosh, when did she start being like that.//She used to be such a nice, honest girl.

=I love reading novels.

=I'm rooting for you.

SCREECH..

=Oh,//I think I forgot something...
VRRR...
=Can't let you do that.

=Can't let you go back now.


<30>
GONK

[x2]SCRATCH

=PSS—T
=AAA—CK

BATHUMP

[x3]CLONK


<31>
VRRR..

Z-ZWISH...

=What!?//He got away!?

=M-My bad...

=You idiot—!


<32>
=Hey,//How long do I have to keep this blindfold on?

=O-//Ohh,
=Just a bit longer.

CLONK

=—Okay.//You can take it off.
[x3]CLONK

=Your present has arrived.
=Huh?

BLAM

FLASH


<33>
[x2]POP

[banner]Happy Birthday//Chiaki Shinjo age 20//Special Guest//Chiaki's First Crush

[banner]Special Guest//Chiaki's First Crush

=But man,//Chisato's such a jerk.


<34>
=She turned us down without batting an eyelash,//But when it's time for her to confess, she has no idea what to do.

=We had a pretty hard time confessing to her, too.

=Can't help it. She's been thinking about him for the past 4 years.//That novelist.

=Anyways, just seemed like Chiaki would never make a move//If we just left 'em alone.

=We're good guys,//Aren't we.
=—You got that right.

Z-ZWISH..

=I read your script.//—You're almost there.


<35>
=Don't worry about getting paid.//I'll have it finished by morning.

=—But, I didn't find any sex scenes.

=I don't care if it gets rejected.//Getting my name out with a stupid story won't give me any confidence in myself.

=It might not mean much coming from me, but...

=It was good.//—Really good.

=It was,//—Really.
GREAK..

Z-ZWISH...


<36>
=—Right, do over.
BWHAP

=The story was good,
=—But you gotta have the sex scenes.//The sex scenes are everything.
=You gotta include at least five of 'em even if it screws up the story.

=Don't make me say the same thing year after year.
=Later, Chiaki.

BATHUMP

=Got that?//At least five of them.
DAH

Clogs and Diamonds (END)