Billy Bat 1

BILLY BAT #1

tl by molokidan

02)
B: The saps that live in this town can all be split into two groups.
B: Lucky saps, and unlucky saps...
B: Saps with lotsa dough, and saps who ain't got none.
B: Saps who've won, and saps who've lost...

03)
B: He cannot get up! The Grizzly!! Still on the floor!!
B: The undefeated iron wrestler, Gary Grizzly, has been caught in the Pirahnan Death Lock of the assassin from the Amazon, the Amazing Pirahna...
B: He finally lost.
B: What a dreary night...
B: Just when I start to get into a sentimental mood, some pain-in-the-neck job always comes along.
B: Come on in! The lock's broken.
B: The saps in this town all come in pairs...and this client is clearly a...
D: I will pay whatever sum you ask.
B: If we're talking rubes here, then the details come first, Mister...
E: My name is Edward Costello. Please call me Eddy...it's not much of a job. A bat like you could finish it in a single flight.
B: I don't wanna to be told how to do my work, Mr. Costello.

04)
B: Not to mention, fellas don't just fly around whenever they feel like it, you know.
E: Seems like a waste to me.
B: I'm rarely busy enough to need to fly, anyway. Walking's enough for me.
B: ...well? About the job?
E: She's very suspicious.
B: Who is?
E: My wife.
B: When you hear the word detective, it sounds ritzy, but the truth is, most of the jobs are...
B: You want me to see if she's double-crossin' you, huh...
E: Yes. I've barely been married to this young girl and she's already caused me an unbearable amount of worry.
B: The iron wrestler Gary Grizzly loses, and as usual, I'm busy checking on some loose bird...
B: What a dreary night...
D: Your order, sir?
B: Somethin' crimson, like fresh blood.
D: Huh?
B: A Bloody Mary!
B: Although, if she always floats about in public like so, this should be a snap...
B: Night after night, she comes here to meet men in secret.
B: Apparently she had a minor role in a Hollywood flick once...yeah, she's a doll alright.

05)
B: It's plain to see that any man who picked up a tomato like this would never be able to stop worrying.
B: Nah, I doubt it'd end at simple worry, either...
B: She alternates men every night.
B: Just how many will it take before she's satisfied?
B: I could never guess her type, though.
?: Hey, Billy! You're making a tough face as usual.
B: Same to you, pal.
B: Freddy -- he makes it his business to know other fellas' business. He knows his onions, but let him know too much, and he'll spill it to anyone who'll listen.
F: One ice cream!
F: I learned a little bit about the lineage of her date tonight.
B: Some bigshot movie producer, right?
F: Wrong!
F: The one tonight is different from your average cake-eater.
F: This old boy's got some heavy sugar on him.
F: Norman O'Brien. He's got orange farms in Santa Monica, and even owns some rights to water as well.
B: Well would you look at that...so the suckers she's been with so far have all been in order to get to this one.

06)
F: Well, I wouldn't say that.
B: Why not?
F(2b): If you take into consideration all of the rendezvous she's been on this far...you'd arrive at one other fella...
F: If my hunch is correct, she'll be meeting this Mick tomorrow night.
B: And the next night, she did.
B: The son of a family of Irish immigrants who amassed an amazing fortune within a single generation.
B: After losing a state election, his father uttered a single phrase: "One day, I'll buy America."
B: Hello, Mr. Costello? I've finished my investigation, and I'm coming to report to you.
B: "Your wife's heart is pitch black." Who in their right mind would pay a high sum for that kind of report...?

07)
B: Mr. Costello...
B: Costello...
B: Mr. Costello!!
P: Well, well...
P: You again, huh...?
B: What do you mean "again?"
P: I mean that it always rains pitchforks when you're around.
B: This victim was just a client of mine.
B: I was investigating to see whether or not his wife was cheating on him.
P: To see whether or not his wife was cheating on him?
B: It happens more than you'd think. Anyway, I had just finished and came to report it to him, when...

08)
P: So then the criminal's his wife.
B: What!?
P: She caught on to your little investigation and was left with no other choice.
B: H-hey...come on now, don't you think it's a little early to...
P: Boys!! Go find out where the victim's wife is!!
B: But she has an alibi...I was watching her the whole time.
P: Do you mean to tell me you were involved with the crime too?
B: I hate cops as much as I hate anchovies.
B: Well, not like it matters to me who the criminal was anyway.
?: Now don't you go spilling anything. Keep your nose out of places it doesn't belong.
B: Hm...
B: I don't have any idea what you're talking about.
?: Then I'll say it again. Stay out of this!
B: Stay out of it...?
B: I just hate cops and anchovies--

09)
?: If we catch you chewing gum around here again,
?: then we'll have to take you for a ride.
B: Tch...
B: What a dreary...
B: night...
?: Don't turn on the lights!!
?: They're after me. Don't turn on the lights...!!
B: I'm a bat.
B: You know it doesn't matter if the lights or on or not for me?
B: Besides, you think that's the way to ask someone for something!?

10)
B: A dangerous thing like that doesn't suit you at all, sweetheart.
?: Help me!!
B: What a dreary night...