EDIT: some katagana'd words were corrected accordingly to the raw scans I found (ex. Cattle Mutilation, Off Meet, MonHun)
this chapter was...I swear Sorachi's completely ignoring modesty now OTZ
Gin-chan's erm...screwdriver...comes to use XDDD;
Story Summary Thus Far: After mysterious aliens performed Cattle Mutilation
on the bodies of the Yorozuya, changing a part of their bodies into screwdrivers, began to play the Monkey Hunter net game as their only clue to the whereabouts of the aliens. In the process, they meet up with players in similar situations (Katsura, Kondou, Sacchan, Hasegawa) and formed a group. Just as they close in on players who looked like the aliens, they find out that their true identities were two others who had their bodies modified into screwdrivers, Hijikata and Okita.
black text: Where're the MonHun? (T/N: MonHun = short for Monkey Hunters)
guy: Excuse me! 2 helpings of salted cow tongues and 4 beers please!
waitress: Okay, it'll be here shortly!!
waitress: Excuse me, have you decided what to order?
(page2)lesson 192 - always, a screwdriver in your heart
black text: Be a screwdriver as if your life depends on it!
group: 10 servings of Barbecue Beef Ribs G
Shinpachi(?): ...well, someone say something.
flag: MonHun, Screwdriver Battle Team, Off Meet
Shinpachi(?): After all, it's a rare...Off Meet
Gintoki: Even if it's an Off Meet
Gintoki: we practically all know each other already.
Gintoki: There's just the faces of the idiots we see everyday.
Gintoki: Hey, as I was saying
Gintoki: This isn't the time to be having an Off Meet or whatever!
Gintoki: It's already the 4th week!!
Gintoki: 4 weeks, it's already been 4 weeks!! Why have we been doing these useless things for a whole month!?
In other words, this one month hasn't made things any better, in fact it's gotten worse!
Gintoki: What's with this!? This hunting game we've been playing. Hunting for 3 weeks, what exactly have we gained!?
Kondou: ...come on let it go, even though we haven't gotten any further clues on the whereabouts of the alien players
Kondou: but hasn't MonHun brought all of us, with a common goal, together as friends?
This is more important than any treasure we've gained in the hunt.
Gintoki: The friends you're talking about are all idiots and morons, that doesn't help the case at all!!
Hijikata: What did you say, bastard?
Gintoki: Go look in the mirror Hijikata, see what you look like right now! You'll see a moron reflected back at you for sure, go and see!
Hijikata: It's better than the idiot who got his XXX turned into a screwdriver at least!
Gintoki: Are you an idiot!? This is much better than the guy who got his whole body, including his XXX, turned into a screwdriver! Moron!
Shinpachi: Wait, wait! Please calm down!!
Shinpachi: Anyway, this Off Meet is for us to discuss our next steps.
Shinpachi: Let's negotiate in peace alright?
Shinpachi: Our battle group has still been unable to gather any leads about the alien players.
How about your team Hijikata-san?
Gintoki: By the way, why were you guys using those confusing avatars!?
It's all your guys' fault! Wasting a whole week of our time!!
Hijikata: If there's a player with the same appearance as you in a game, you can't ignore that right?
We used that as bait for those guys.
Hijikata: In the end we caught people like you instead.
Okita: That's not necessarily true Hijikata-san.
That bait may be able to catch a big fish chasing the little fish.
Katsura: Ah, I'm sorry for being late.
Hello everyone, I'm Fruit Punch Samurai G
Hijikata: This is your last meal in this world, what do you want to eat?
Katsura: Well then, I want Uemino (T/N: the first stomach of a cow, very expensive)
Okita: Excuse me~ Please give this guy a plate of Numbing Raw Meat (T/N: item in Monster Hunter that stuns the eater)
Katsura: I...I was tricked! I never thought this Off Meet was going to be a trap...!!
Okita: (Come on, eat it)
Gintoki: Are you an idiot!? Why is a patriot activist like you even attending an Off Meet?
Katsura: Even a patriot activist would want off time! A time to forget everything and relax!!
Gintoki: Your head's always been Off hasn't it? You're adapter hasn't been plugged in right!?
Katsura: Hn, you are all fools. Even if you caught me this situation won't get better.
The reality that you're all still screwdrivers hasn't changed at all.
Okita: Oi, you're a screwdriver too.
Katsura: Not only that, but you have lost your chance to get valuable data.
Kondou: Katsura, it can't be you...!!
You've gotten information...
Katsura: Who knows...
When asking someone, you at least have to know your manners.
Hijikata: Kondou-san, don't fall for his trap.
Hijikata: He's definitely planning to escape, and making up lies to fool you.
Katsura: If you doubt me, let me show you this.
Katsura: You won't argue after seeing this.
Kondou: This is...
poster: In need of drivers (T/N: truck drivers and screw drivers are both shortened to 'drivers' XD; )
Katsura: Okay...I've shown you this
If you want contact information and job interview locations, hand over the Uemino.
Okita: One helping of Uemino coming up!!
Shinpachi: What's with that!? As if you're completely prepared to live your life as a screwdriver!!
Kagura: A helping of beef ribs!!
Okita: We're not talking about similar drivers! What about information on the alien players you idiot!!?
Katsura: It's impossible to get that information.
Katsura: We're already at this stage, are you still running away from reality?
Katsura: You guys should have started to realize it too.
Katsura: There are no more new leads or new plans.
Katsura: It's already become impossible to catch those alien players.
Hijikata: Don't say such stupid things, are you gonna give up just because of that?
Kondou: That's right! We have to recover our bodies!! The battle has just started...
Kondou: She's the third queen of the Planet of Screws...Princess Plus... (T/N: as in the shape + on a screw...)
Kondou: The truth is...we've scheduled...an omiai (marriage interview)...
Hijikata: Kondou-san!! Don't tell me you...
Katsura: ...what we need right now,
Katsura: isn't to continue playing MonHun,
Katsura: nor to discuss irrelevant things in a steak house,
Katsura: we need to realize that we have to live on as screwdrivers.
box: ...after that, no one spoke again
box: under a gloomy atmosphere, the MonHun party dispersed.
box: perhaps we had been avoiding the truth before we even realized it
box: even though we say that we can only catch those aliens by playing the games
box: in reality, we just wanted to look away from the reality we're stuck in
box: perhaps we hadn't even noticed that we had escaped into the world of the game
box: now that we've put down our controllers and stopped our hunt
box: we must face the reality
box: the patriot Katsura Kotarou who had just escaped jail
box: just how did he manage to get out of that sturdy prison
Kagura: He only took one page to escape, Zura's pretty good.
Shinpachi: Yeah, after the Shinsengumi lost their main force, there's no way they could stop him.
Gintoki: Hey, let's get ready guys.
truck: Hakobiya (Transport Shop) Gin-chan
Shinpachi: I wonder what the other MonHun are doing now
Gintoki: Who knows?
Gintoki: No matter where they are
Gintoki: they're all still just screwdrivers.
Shinpachi: As Gin-san said that
Shinpachi: his profile looked just a little lonely.
Shinpachi: Our new lives as drivers was unexpectedly enriching
Shinpachi: Even though it was tiring, compared to when we worked at Yorozuya, our wages increased.
Shinpachi/box: But...Gin-san never looked happy
worker guy: Oi, Hijikata, hand me a 'driver.
worker guy: Not that big one, a normal one
Hijikata: Yes sir
Shinpachi: Is it really alright if we keep going like this?
Shinpachi: Enjoying our lives as screwdrivers
Shinpachi: Living on as screwdrivers
golf guy: Driver (T/N: one of the golfing clubs is called a Driver)
Okita: Here *tilts head*
golf guy: ...no, not the screwdriver, the Driver club
Okita: Yes sir
Shinpachi: Are we really facing reality this way?
Shinpachi: If it's like that then we
Kondou: Ahh!? Princess, you're actually a plus screw?
Kondou: What a coincidence! Actually, I'm a plus screwdriver!
Matsudaira: You see? You two are connected by the red string of fate!
Shinpachi: were probably better off when we were playing the game...
Shinpachi: It's a hitchhiker
Shinpachi: Gin-san, let's give her a ride.
Shinpachi: We actually know that person
Gintoki: We're working right now, forget her.
Sacchan: Please take me to the GEO Kabuki-chou branch office parking lot
Sacchan: You're still an S even if you're a screwdriver
Sacchan: Is there an S shaped screwdriver?
Gintoki: I'm working, get outta here.
Sacchan: Have you gotten used to this work?
Sacchan: So are you just going to accept your fate and accept this job!?
Sacchan: Are you going to live in reality!?
Sacchan: If that's so, then its like you're caught in an already written program, living by a script is just like being a gamer living in a room full of napkins!!
Sacchan: If you really want to survive in reality...then please fight against reality
Sacchan: Making your own fate, and creating your own reality!!
Sacchan: That's the real meaning of survival isn't it?
Sacchan: That's what Sakata Gintoki, player of the game of life is supposed to be!!
Sacchan: Even if you lose, I won't mind!!
Sacchan: I don't mind even if you stay a screwdriver forever...
because my breasts have also...
Gintoki: She really is a female pig with a crooked head
Gintoki: This is the map, I'm counting on you to give directions
Gintoki: Starting now, the real
Gintoki: hunt begins!!
Shinpachi: Our hunt
alien#1: Ah~ we bought it all
This way, we no longer have anything to do on Earth
alien#2: (we bought too many games)
alien#1: Alright, let's take off...
Shinpachi: over yet.
alien#2: S...senpai, there's a weird truck...!!
alien#2: It's aiming straight for our spaceship at full speed!!
alien#1: Eh? What, hey...
Come on, fly!! Hurry up, fly already!!
spaceship: *slowly slowly*
alien#1: Ahh!? The spaceship isn't moving up at all!!
screen: *beep beep*
alien#2: Senpai!! There's intruders in the 4th motor room...
alien#2: Those huge screwdrivers have taken out the screws in the motor room!!
Katsura: Shut up, don't call that name right now!!
Kondou: Shut up, don't call that name right now!!
Kondou: You don't need to say anything
Kondou: right now, I'm merely a hunter
Katsura: Fruit Punch Samurai G!!
Kondou: Fruit Chinpo (T/N: chinpo = penis OTZ) Samurai G!!
alien#2: Senpai, the truck!!
alien#2: The truck's caught up!!
alien#1: We'll attack!!
alien#1: Open the cannons
Okita: We'll leave the rest to you guys
alien#1: No wayyyy!!!
Gintoki: Stop the ship
Gintoki: and give back my XXX
alien#1: I don't know what you guys plan to do..if you want to stop it, go ahead and try
alien#1: No matter how you disassemble the motor rooms, this ship won't stop
alien#1: as long as you haven't taken apart that main control device
alien#1: this ship will continue to fly
alien#1: Hehheh...your screwdrivers won't help at all
alien#1: that screw must be opened with a special screwdriver
alien#1: You guys have lost...
Gintoki: Is that so? And I was thinking about where I should use mine...so it's here huh?
alien#1: You!! D...don't tell me you have the...!!
alien#1: That screwdriver is...!!
Gintoki: Take this~~~!!
Shinsengumi: ...eh? What about our bodies?
M/Madao: As expected that you would get here
M: Thou art the Emperor of Darkness, Masukaaku (T/N: name of a character that has appeared in Gundam SEED; was mentioned in 191 by Ginko XDD; )
M: Will thou be killed by me or will I be the one to be killed by thou? This be the last battle. Come!
Madao: Wait for me everyone
Madao: I'll catch up soon!!
white text: Madao-ossan has been left behind again!!