Bari Haken 1

Sorry for the delay. It's all proofed and ready to go for scanlation :D

To see what was edited, use word. -- word file

01

４月11日（金）
April 11th (Fri)

香涙野：　ホラ　いつまで寝てるのよお寝坊さんを起こしに来てあげたわよ
Karuino: Wake up, sleepy head! I'm not going to let you sleep all day <3

ふわあ
Fuwaaaa

麗たんおはよう・・・<3
Good morning Rei-tan... <3

鈴木信也待望の新連載！！「バリハケン」
Suzuki Shinya's eagerly-awaited new series!! "Bari Haken"!!

香涙野：　ネクタイ曲がってるぞ　も～～お口の周りにおべんとついてるしぃ
Karuino: Your tie's crooked. And you've got breakfast on your face too, silly head!

あ・・・ありがとう
Th...Thanks

麗たん
Rei-tan

私ずっとあなたの事が好きだったの・・・
I've always liked you...

ボ・・ボボボボクもだよ・・・
Mm... Mmmm me too......

・・・あぁん団吾なんだかとっても切ないよぉ
...Man... I'm so lonely...

君で100人目・・・ついに理想の女（ひと）に出会えた気がするよ
You’re my 100th girl...and I finally feel like I've found the girl of my dreams

燃える漫画？！
Passionate manga?!

萌える漫画？！
Moe manga?!

そんな垣根をぶっ壊す「伝説（レジェンド）」が今、始まるーー
The “legend” that will break those rules, starts now!

02-03

不良Ｘ萌え系おバカコメディ！！
Delinquent meets ‘Moe’ in an off the wall comedy!

伝説１　春涙野　麗たんはボクの嫁！
Legend 1: Karuino Rei-tan is MY wife!

鈴木信也
Suzuki Shinya

新連載
New Series

巻頭カラー５６Ｐ！！
56 Pages & Front page color!

史上最恐ヒーローここに誕生！！
History’s most feared hero starts his tale here!

04

もう・・・寝グセついてるよ
You've got a cow lick, silly head!

Ａ系バク進
A story for Otaku

後ろ向いて　解いてあげるから
Turn around, I'll fix it for you

ハイ
Here

お弁当<3
I packed your lunch <3

団吾の大好きなタコさんウィンナー入れといたからね
I made your favorite, octopus wieners!

ああ・・・
Ah...

香涙野　麗たん・・・<3
Karuino Rei-tan... <3

君はボクの理想の嫁だよ
You’re my perfect wife!

じゃあ
行ってくるね
Well, I’ll see you later!

麗たん・・・
Rei-tan...

05-06

おはようございます
Good Morning!!

団吾の兄ィ
Boss Dango!

オッス！！
今日も兄弟の盃を交わした兄貴と・・・
Ossu!!
We hold it in the highest honor to be able to

共に学道に邁進できる事を光栄に思います!!
It is the highest honor to be able to make our way to school again with the you, the leader of our brotherhood!

おう・・・皆の者ごくろう
Heh... At ease boys

07

兄貴ィカバン持ちやす！
Boss, I'll carry your bag

禁煙中でしたよね？！
You're quittin' smoking right?

ニコレットありますよ
I got some nicorette

それともシンナーいっときますか
Or how about a huff of some paint thinner?

おかしいな・・・
This isn't right...

ドアを開けたらリボンをつけたかわいい幼なじみが
The moment I opened the door, my sweet heart wearing a ribbon was supposed to ...

おはよ<3
Good morning <3

・・・って来るハズなのに
... come out saying that…

どうしてグラサン＆マスクつけた
So why is it these sunglasses and mask wearing…

おはようさんです！！！
Good Morning, Sir!!!

年少帰りの舎弟共が玄関先に張ってるの～～？？
punks are waiting for me in front of my house??

そんで自転車の後ろに彼女乗っけて・・・
Then, she was supposed to ride on the back of my bike...

団吾の背中思ったより広いね<3
Your back is a lot wider than I thought <3

フフ・・・こんな登校できたらなぁ・・・
Fufu... if only I could arrive at school like this...

兄貴
２ケツしますか
Boss, wanna ride on back?

08

兄貴ィ　自慢のリーゼントが曲がってやすぜ
Boss, your pride and joy of a hairdo is crooked…

今ＶＯ５で固めます
I’ll take care of it with a little VO5

さかい
Excuse me

兄貴　弁当作ってきやした
Boss, I made you lunch!

兄貴の大好きな馬刺入れときましたぜ・・・
I put in your favorite, raw horse meat for ya’…

ホラ
寝グセついてるぞ<3
You've got a cow lick, silly head!

タコさんウィンナー入れといたよ
I made your favorite, octopus wieners!

どうして　ここまで理想と違うのさ？！
Why does reality have to be so different?!

おどれら
何べん言うたらわかるんじゃい
You punks, when will I get it through your thick skulls?!

オイの好物はタコさんウィンナー言うたやろが
Didn’t I make it clear that I like octopus wieners?!!!

死にてぇか
You wanna end up dead?!

兄貴に出すぎたマネしおって
Offering Boss something like that!!

ヒ　ヒィィ　すすすいません
eh ahhh ssssorry!!!

そのシャバ憎ちぃと灸でもすえたれや・・・
Lets teach this jerk a lesson…

ボ・・・ボクの名は御手洗　団吾・・・
M...My name is Mitarashi Dango...

隠れオタクのボクが
The reason a closet-otaku like me

どうして番長なんかにおさまっちゃってるかというと・・・
ended up being their leader goes like this...

09

おや～
Hihi~~

団吾殿～～
Master Dango~~

どうしましたその格好は？
What's with the look?

番長のコスプレですか～
Pretending your some kind of gang Boss, or something?

彼はオタ友の御宅田くん・・・
He's an otaku friend of mine, Otakuda-kun

どうしてこのタイミングで出会うんだ・・・
Of all the times he has to see me…

この前のゲームどうでした麗たんハートのＥＤは泣けると聞きましたぞ
So how was the game, eh? I heard Rei-tan’s ending song can bring anyone to tears…

それ以上はやめてくれ・・・
Dude...shut up!...

ボクがオタという事がバレてしまったら・・・
If they found out I'm an Otaku, then...

なんだぁ
HUH!?

この豚は？！
Who's the pig?!

兄貴になれなれしいぞ
You're not showing the boss enough respect!

ボ・・・ボボ　ボクは団吾くんの友だ
Bu... But... I'm Dango's friend!

あぁん？！兄貴がテメェみたいな腐れオタク相手にする訳ねえだろうが！！
HUH?! There's no way in hell Boss would hang out with a freakin' otaku like you!

ひぃぃぃ
Mannnnn

ご・・・ごめんね御宅田くん・・・
So... Sorry Otakuda-kun...

ここは
東京某所
This is Tokyo Bousho

首都高校
Shuto High School

10

どけどけぃ
Move it slugs!

御手洗兄貴の御登校じゃあ
Boss Mitarashi is in the house!

何見とんじゃ
殺すぞ
Oi…what the hell are you looking at, EH? I’LL KILL YOU!

キャアアアア
Kyaaaaahhhh

何なんだ
あの柄悪い連中は
What the
What's with that tough looking crowd?

御手洗団吾だ
It's Mitarashi Dango!

うう・・・周囲からの視線が痛い・・・
Ugh... it pains me to see everyone look at me like this...

ボクだって番長になりたくて共学入った訳じゃないのに・・・
I didn’t join a co-ed to be the Boss of a gang…

ただ　恋愛ゲームみたいな
It's just... I wanted it to be like a dating sim game

ハイチョコレート<3　昨夜はママと一緒に作ったんだよ
Here- chocolate <3 I made them with mom last night!

えっ
オレに？
Eh?! For me?

だ～れだ<3
Who~~ is it? <3

麗ちゃんかな？
Is it Rei-chan?

甘い甘～～～い青春（スクールライン）送りたかっただけなのに・・・
I just wanted to have a lovey dovey school life...

あっ・・・ババ引いちゃった
Oh man, I got the queen…

わ～い引っかかった～
Yay you fell for it~~!

どうして　どうして・・・
Why oh why...

11

こんなヤングキングみたいな
Do I have to play a young king

ブリックパック買って来やした
I bought us packs of juice.

荒みきった学園生活なの～～？！？
and live a wild school life?!

だ～れだ<3
Who~~ is it? <3

だ・・・
誰じゃい？！
Wh... Who the hell?!

今はテンピン赤アリ割れ目アリ超高レート麻雀の真っ最中・・・
I'm in the middle of an intense game of Ten pin red ant split ant super high rate Mahjong!!

よ・・・
よう
Uh... Hey...

お前・・・
団・・・吾・・・だよな？
Aren't you... Dan...go..?

き・・・君は・・・ボクの暗黒中時代を知る
数少ない旧友茶越くん・・・！！
It's Chakoshi-kun! He's one of the few people to have known me back during my dark middle school days!

12

何やワレェ？！
Who's that?!

マズイ！
ボクの中学時代をこいつらに知られては・・・
Crap!
I can't let them know about...back then!

兄貴にケンカ売っとんのか？！
You picking a fight with the Boss?!

まぁ
待てや！！
Wai
Wait up!!

おんどれのお望みタイマンはってやるわ
A fight? OK then, you, me, outside, now!

タ・・・タイマン何いってんだ
お前・・・？
Out...outside? ...the hell?

オラァ　面貸せや！オウ　拓！代打ちやっとけ！
Punk, come with me! You! Taku! Play for me!

ハ・・・ハイ只今・・・
Yeah…yeah, on my way…

ケッ・・・あのバカ　死んだな・・・
Heh... That tard's done for...

団吾兄の不敗伝説・・・いまだあの　リーゼントを地ベタ触らせた奴はいねぇ・・・
Boss's unbeatable legend... No one's ever been able to get Boss's hairdo to touch the ground

今頃は前歯折られて土下座でワビ入れてるだろうぜ
By now, he's probably lost his front teeth and on his hands and knees begging for mercy

ごめんねいちご牛乳かけちゃって
I'm sorry I spit strawberry milk on you!

この通り！何でも言う事聞きますから昔の事は内緒にして
Look! I'm at your service, just keep our past a secret!!

・・・ったく
驚いたぜ・・・
Man... You had me freaked for a moment...
・・・もういいよ
立派なリーゼントをトイレの汚い床にこすりつけなくてもよ・・・
Enough... Get up, you're making that splendid hairdo of yours touch this dirty restroom floor.

えっ本当？！
ありがとう！
ありがとう！！
Eh?! Really?!
Thank you!! thank you!!

13

にしても
団吾　お前　高校デビューにも程があんだろ！
But really, Dango, there's limits to the whole first impressions at school thing you know!

中学ん時はトイレで一人でお弁当食べる程の空気くんだったろ！？
As I recall your presence was so small it was as if you spent your lunch break eating in the middle school's restroom stall!

う・・・うん
そうなんだけどさ
Ri...right
It's not like I forgot or anything.

いつの間にこんなことになっちゃって・・・
It's just I somehow ended up like this...

お前高校入って何があったんだよ？！
What happened when you entered this high school?!

あれはこの首都高校入学間もなく・・・
It wasn't long after I entered Shuto high school...

おうそこのお前ちょっとこっち来い
Hey you, come over here for a sec.

ボ・・・ボクですか？
M... me??

ちょっとひとっ走りお使い頼まれてくんね～？
We were just in the need for a peon, care to help out?

そこのコンビニで「ビショビショグラビア」買って来いや
Go to that store and pick me up an issue of "Bisho bisho idol"

フヒヒ
Fuhihi

び・・・びしょ・・・
びしょ・・・？？
Bi... Bisho...Bisho..??

ビショビショグラビアだ
何度も言わすな！とっとと　買って来いや！！
Bisho bisho idol!! Don’t make me repeat myself, just get over there and buy it!

14

そして
And then

なんだコイツは・・・？
What in the hell...?

び・・・
美少女フィギュアですよ・・
It's a Bi... Bishoujo Figure....

ぼ・・・ボクの一番お気に入りの香涙野　麗さんです・・・
It... It's my favorite, Karuino Rei-san...

バーロー”美少女フィギュア”じゃねぇ
”ビショビショグラビア”だ
What are you, a retard?! Not “Bishoujo Figure”, “Bisho Bisho Idol”!!

エロ本だ　ボケ
It's porn, dumbass

オレ様がこんな者で喜ぶわけねぇだろ！！
How the hell is this supposed to get me off?!

うわあああ　ぼ・・・ボクの麗たんに何をするんだああ
Wha…what are you doing to m-m-my Rei-tan?!!

麗たんはボクの嫁なんだぞぉ！！
REI-TAN'S MY WIFE!!

な・・・何言ってんだコイツ？！
鮫島さんに何するんだ！！
Ge...Get a load of this guy!
What's he doing to Samejima-san?!

15

あ・・・あの
素手喧嘩最強伝説の鮫島さんを・・・
Sa... Samejima-san...
Legendary for being the strongest bare fisted fighter beaten by a...

まるで鬼神だイカレてやがる・・・
He's like a demon god!!
He's gone mad....!!

見ろ！
むせび泣いているぜ！！
Look! He's choking on his own tears!!

麗たんが合体メカに・・・
Rei-tan's turned into a fusion mecha

きっと・・一人また一人と地獄送りにする旅に己の狂拳を奮ってしまった事を　神に悔いているんだ・・・！
There's no doubt, he's mourning to god that he's sorry for each time he swings his crazy fists sending person after person to hell.

地獄の魔王のような強さに菩薩のような慈愛の心・・・
Strength like that of a devil, Heart full with love like Buddah…

あなたこそ時代の番長だぁぁぁ
It is him that should be our era's leader!!

へっ？？
EH?!

16

ふ～～～ん
それでオタクな事
カミングアウト出来ないまま　番長に祭り上げられてしまったと・・・
Hmmmm
And so that's why you're stuck being a closet-otaku and caught up in being hailed as “leader”...

だってオタ友の御宅田くんなんか”豚狩り”とかいって連れてかれちゃったし・・・
I even had to have my otaku friend Otakuda-kun sent away by saying something like "pig hunting" ...

バレたら殺されちゃうよ！
They’ll kill me if they find out!

見てよぉ～～～
皆の強引な勧めで頭もこんなに立体的になっちゃったし！！
Do you see this?!
They bugged me enough that I had to make my hair three dimensional to shut them up!

・・・すごいリーゼントだよな・・・
... that is an amazing hairdo...

ここは平成２０年のジャンプだぜ・・・
But you realize what year of Jump this is...?

もしかして　このうさんくさい傷も・・・
Don’t tell me…this stupid looking scar is part of your look too…?

わたっ
Ouch!

もちつけ傷ですよ
Of course it's a fake scar

実はこの前声優の握手会ですっころんで負傷したんだ・・・それで・・・
I went to a voice Seiyuu convention, where I tripped and got hurt, that’s the reason for the scar…

ど・・・どうしたんすか　その怪我は　誰にやられたんすか？！
Wha.. what happened? You're all beat up, who did that to you?!

これは・・・声優の握手会ですっころんで負傷・・・あ　いや　何でもない
Oh…well, you see, at the ‘Meet the Seiyuu’ session, I fell and bumped…er…nothing, forget it!

17

ええ～～～？！
戦友をアクス改でぶっ殺して　火葬したんすか？！
Ehh??!
At the beat the slay-you session?! You held and clumped someone?!

さらば戦友
Farewell to you

その若さで何処の洗浄に出兵したんすか？！
What kind of battles have you been sent out to at such a young age?!

きっと戦友さんはもう助からない重傷だったんですね・・・
I'm sure there was nothing you could do about that...

なんて勘違いされたらもう付け傷つけるしかなくて・・・
Well after being misunderstood that much, my only choice was to wear a fake scar afterwards...

・・・お前も知らん所で伝説捏造されてんだな・・・
... I'm sure this isn't the only place your fake legend has reached...

実は兄貴に男と見込んで頼みがあるんですよ
At any rate, I came here originally with a request that only you could handle.

何だ・・・殴り込みか？
What... someone needs pounding?

いえね・・・来る体育祭のメインイベント組体操の花形・・・
ピラミッドのてっぺん役
Uh…no. Actually, I came to ask about the athletic festival’s main event; ‘The Human Pyramid’. We want you to play the ‘top’ part.

あれ是非兄貴にお願いしたいんすわ
By all means, we'd like you, Boss, to be at the top.

なんだ・・・
上に乗るだけの超ラクチンポジションじゃないか
Ohh...
All I'd have to do is climb to the top, it's like the easiest spot!

よかろう・・・まさに番長のオイにふさわしい大役じゃな
Very well... It’s only fitting for the leader to have such an important position

・・フゥよかった　流石兄貴っすよ
Ah, thanks boss. That's a load off...

18

なんせ首都高（うち）のピラミッドは伝説の逆ピラミッドっすもんね
I mean, with our school's pyramid being the legendary reverse pyramid and all...

なんだって～～！！！
…WHAT DID YOU SAY?!

こいつ
Him

オイ！普通逆だろう？！偉いのが上じゃねぇのか？！
HEY! Isn't it supposed to be the other way?! The person in charge, at the top?!?!

てめぇら兄貴分の上に乗っかって心が痛まねぇのか？！
Doesn't it pain your heart climbing on top of your Boss like that?!?!

いや～この大役は兄貴にしか出来やせんから
Uh...something this important can only be done by you, boss

そして
And then

体育祭
Athletic Festival

これより組体操をはじめます
We'd like to begin the human pyramid now.

兄貴ィ～！！男の根性見せて下せぇや～～～！！
Boss!! Show us what men are made of!!!

兄貴の生き様この瞳にしかと焼き付けますぜ
Blind me with the power of your manly essence!!

安請け合いするんじゃなかった・・・
I should have never agreed without hearing the details...

19

誰だよこんなクソ競技考えた
クソ野郎は・・・
And who the hell thought up this brilliant idea?! If I find that son of a -

見つけたらブログにＵＰして晒してやる
I'll expose him on my blog!!

兄貴の目怒りに震えてるぜ
Boss's eyes are quivering with anger!

あれは・・・兄貴にとって易しいすぎるお願いをしてしまったオレ達へ向けてだ・・・・
It's obviously 'cause he's angry at us for asking him to do something so easy!

うおおお　やったぁ　ついに逆ピラミッド完成かぁ？！
A...Amazing! The reverse pyramid, in the blink of an eye!

兄貴やっぱりすげぇぜ
Boss kicks ass!!!

だ　だだだ第一話
Ch cha cha chapter one

１０人逆ピラ・・・ピラ・・・ピラ・・・ミッド・・・
10 Person Reverse P-P- Pyramid...

20

ムリの巻・・・
Volume Impossible...

そ・・・そんなぁ
No... No way!!

兄貴が・・・
Boss...

兄貴がぁぁ
Boss....

ボ・・・ボクの
麗たんが・・
M...My Rei-tan....

うがああああ
GRRRAAAAAAAAGGGHH

あ・・・兄貴・・・
B....Boss....

21-22

あ・・・上げたぞ～～～！！
He... lifted it back up!!

すげぇ～～
あの状態から持ち上げるなんて・・・！
No way~~
How could he recover after going down like that?!

えっ　団吾（アイツ）は確か体育とかできるタイプじゃなかったろ？！
EH?! I always thought he was the type that sucked at PE!

どうしてあんなの持ち上がるんだ！？
Then how is he able to lift them up?!

ご・・・ごめんよ・・・
So...I'm Sorry...

香涙野　麗たん・・・
Karuino Rei-tan...

か・・・るい・・・
の・・・れい・・・たん・・・
Ka....rui....
no....rei....tan...
23

かるい・・・
のれい・・・
Karui...
norei...

い・・・今
オレの耳が確かなら　あの方は　「軽い　乗れ」と言ったよな・・・
If...
If I just heard right, I believe he said "Carry no weight"?!

ああ・・・なんて御人だよ
あの方にとっちゃ９人なんて重さすら感じないんだな・・・
Those muscles! No wonder,
9 people probably don't weigh a thing to him!

オレはあの人の後ろに龍を見たぜ
Was that a freakin' dragon behind him?!

兄貴のご命令だ
さらに５人乗れ～～！！！
Oi, five more people!
Boss wants more weight!

乗れ～～
乗れ～～
Climb up~~
Climb up~~

このお方には常人の限界の向こう側が見えちまってるんだぁ～～！！
What is he? Is this really the work of a human?

そんな事言ってな・・・
Five...more?!

24

で・・・
出たぁぁぁ！！
The...
There it is!!!

伝説の全５段　１５人逆ピラミッドだぁぁぁ
The legendary 5-story 15-person reverse pyramid!

テ・・・メェら・・・
Gu....ys...

ど・・・いて・・・くれ・・・
ughf.. me.. pleas...e

な・・・何言ってんすか
「テメェら抱いてくれ」だなんて・・・
Wha... what was that?
Did you say "Guys hug me please?"

オレ達アンタになら抱かれてもいいぜ
Group hug? For you, sure Boss

25

ほら麗たん　キレイになったね
There, Rei-tan, you’re all cleaned up…it’s all over now…

よかった・・・重みで潰してしまうとこだったよ
I couldn’t let you get crushed, you know…for you…

あのぉ～～～♪
Excuse us~~~♪

番長さんですよねぇ？
You're Mr. leader, right?

キャ～本物～
リーゼント　ヤバ～イ
Oh my god!! He's like totally real! His hair is soooo hawt too!!

お・・・おおお
おんにゃのこぉ～～～
G…gggg…GIRLS?!

ボ・・・ボクは２次元の女の子専門で
3次元（リアル）の女の子は大の苦手・・・
I can only romance 2-D girls, I’m a failure with 3-D ones!

あ！兄貴　ここにいたんすか
Ah! Boss, there you are

なんかこいつら兄貴に伝えたい事があるらしいっす
These girls said they have something they want to say to ya’.

えっとぉ～～～さっきの組体操
漢（おとこ）らしかったっていうかぁ～だから
えっとぉ・・・
Well, that human pyramid you just did…it was really manly and stuff…and…well, you know…

私と付き合ってみない？
つーか　どう？
Would you go out with me?
Like, for real?

キャハハ　告った　告った～～～
Kyahaha I asked him out!! aha!

２６

な・・・なに　この娘！？
からかってるわけ？？
What…huh? What’re they doing? Are they teasing me or something?!

や・・・やや
Fo... For for

ボクにはもう香涙野　麗たんという女性が・・・
The only one for me is Karuino Rei-tan...

やめときな　嬢ちゃんよ・・・
オイという男を知ってしまったら
I refuse. Once girls like you have gone out with a guy like me…

この先　どんな男と出会っても
つまらない人生が待っているぜ・・・
No matter who you met, life would just be one boring disappointment after another

な・・・なんてデケェ断り方だ
Man…that was harsh…

諦めな　もう兄貴は何人も女を囲ってんだよ
女を不幸にしねぇ　兄貴のやさしさだ
Give it up, Boss already has lots of lovers
He won't hurt a girl, that's Boss's kindness

兄貴ィ～～～
今まで何人の女　泣かせてきたんすか
Boss~~~
Just how many women have you made cry?

両手じゃおさまりませんかぁ
I bet it'd take more than two hands to count...

ぜ・・・０人のチェリーなんて　
とても言えない・・・
I... I couldn't possibly let them know that I've dated zero, that I'm a virgin

今朝　学校に来る前に
記念すべき１００人目の女を落としたところよ
This morning before school marks the 100th woman I've ruined for the rest of you


２７

・・・って　もちろんゲームの中っ
... er of course, in a game...

えええええええ
EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

ひゃ・・・１００人斬りですかぁ！！？
You…you've been with 100 girls?!??!

登校前にやってきたんすか！？
You did her before coming to school?!

齢１６にして１００人の女と・・・
一体いくつから　女知ったんすか！？
At 16, you've already been with 100 girls...
Exactly when DID you start?!

いや・・・だからそれは２次元の仮想空間である
恋愛ゲームの中の話でして
Well, you see, it all happened in a 2D Dating Sim...

現実世界(リアル)の女の子とは付き合うどころか
手さえ触った事も・・・
In the real world? Forget about dating a girl, I haven’t even touched one’s hand yet…

好きなの
I love you

しっかし　スゲ～もんすね
１００人もいるって事ぁ・・・
You're a sex god! 100 girls...amazing!

中にゃ女子大生とか　人妻なんかもいたんじゃねぇすか
I’m sure most of them were probably college girls and lonely housewives, eh?

ああ・・・巫女にメイド　女教師・・・
妹ともやったかな
Yeah.. Sorcerers, maids, teachers.. ah, and my little sister too.


２８

いぃ・・・妹ですか～～～～～～～！！？
You...YOUR SISTER?!

もう並の女じゃ物足りないんすね・・・
一体　兄貴は今どんな女と付き合ってんだ！？
I suppose after all that, normal women wouldn’t do it anymore…so who in the world are you dating now?!)

・・・し・・・死んでも言えない
I... I'd rather die before I give them any inkling

このお人形の女の子とは・・・
of my forbidden doll romance...

あっ団吾・・・じゃなくって番長ここにいたんだ～
Ah, Dango... er I mean Boss, here you are~

さっきのピラミッド凄かったじゃん
That pyramid was amazing!

む　茶越か・・・・
Damn.. It's Chakoshi

その腕を見込んでさぁ・・・
実は番長にお願いがあってさぁ～
After seeing your strength I umm...
Well the leader of my group asked me to...~~

んだとぉ～　このオイに
部活を手伝えやと～～～～！？
What is it? You want ME to help your club or something?!?

２９

頼むよ！番長を漢（おとこ）と見込んでこの通り！
Please! You're the only man who can do this!!

テメェコラァ　どなたに気安く頼んどるんじゃ
不良（ワル）の兄貴に部活をお願いするのは
ジャンプ編集長にバイク便ライダー頼むのと
同義なんぞや
Punk, listen up. I don’t know who you are, but you better realize who you’re talking with. Asking our wicked Boss for help is like asking Jump’s editor and chief to do a manga about a mail delivery rider!

それは言いすぎじゃ・・・
You didn't have to go that far...

空気だったボクを頼ってくれるのは凄く嬉しいんだけど
部活なんて入った事もないし・・・
For a person with as little presence as I had, hearing this makes me happy and all but I've never even joined a club before…

あ・・・あの茶越くんに頼んだのは
・・・わ・・・私なんです・・・
Uh...Umm... the person that requested Chakoshi-kun to ask you was... was me...

ぬ？
Hm?

厚かましいお願いだとは思いますが
私達の部活を助けて欲しいんです・・・
I do believe it was rude of me to do that
But we'd really appreciate if you would help our club out...

・・・もう頼れる人あなたしかいなくて・・・
...You're the only one that we could rely on...

ぬ！！！
HM!!!!!

３０

ぬわ～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～
HMWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

そ・・・そんな　そのきらめく
ストレートヘアにたなびくリボン
あなたこそ　まさしく　香涙野　麗たん　その人！！
No way... that glistening straight hair with a trailing ribbon
Without a doubt, you are Karuino Rei-tan herself!

そうか・・・
実体化してボクに会いに来てくれたんだね
Rei-tan...
materialized in the flesh to come see me...

？えっと・・・どうしましたか？
Umm.. is there something wrong?

ボカァ麗たんのお願いだったら
If you were to request it…

コミケのパンフの裏表紙にだって
新雑誌の広告　打ってみせるよ・・・
I'd even print the new magazine's ad on the back cover of Comiket's brochures

３１

女・・・運がよかったな
今日のオイがすこぶるゴキゲンなんだ
４０秒でしたくしな
Woman... It’s your lucky day
You caught me in a very good mood. Be ready in the next 40 seconds

あ・・・兄貴　部活（そんなもん）手伝うんすかぁ
良かったなテメーら
Ah... so Boss, you're going to help ‘em out?
That's good news, men!

もし兄貴が第二次世界大戦に参戦していたら
降伏していたのは米（アメリカ）
だったかもしれないんだからな
If the Boss had been in world war two, then the loser might have been America!

よ・・・４０秒ですか！？
Four....40 seconds?!

で・・・娘　部活とは？
So... what club are you in?

ハイ・・・ただ　
ば・・・番長さんがご存じかどうか
Um.. it's just
Wond... wondering if the leader knew and all


ここが私達の部活・・・
This is our club...


３２

ラート部です
Wheel gymnastics.

これは江戸時代の水責め水車拷問部ですか？
Is this the water torture rack used in the Edo area?!

ラート部だ　ラート部！！
Wheel gymnastics. Wheel gymnastics!!

い・・・いくら麗たんのお願いでも
拷問部はちょっと・・・
As... As much as I hold Rei-tan's requests dear and all, torture is a bit much...

失礼するよ　テニミュ
行くので
Well, it's been fun, I'm off to see the Prince of Tennis musical now.

待て～～～～～い！
お前　そっちもいけるのかよ！？
Wait...you're interested in stuff like 'that'?

ま・・・待って下さい！！
Er, whatever, get back here!

ん？
hm?


３３


ボ・・・ボクは部長の　池　面太郎といいます
どうかボクからもお願いします・・・
このラート部を救ってもらえませんか・・・
I'm the captain of the club. My name is Ike Mentarou
Please, hear out my request...
P...please save this club of mine...

なんだこのＢＬ野郎は！？
What is this, a Yaoi manga?

お恥ずかしい話ですが・・・
ボク達ラート部は創部以来
This is embarrassing…but…since the start of this club, not only haven’t we ever won…
　
公式戦　勝利どころか完走も無いんです・・・
…but in fact, we’ve yet to even complete a race!

え！？
EH?!?!

つい先日　理事会からも通告されました
次の大会　完走を果たせなかった場合・・・
廃部もやむなしと
Just yesterday we were contacted by the board of directors
and told if we don't complete the race... our club will be shut down

・・・嫌なんです・・・
もう　みんなと・・・
ラートが出来なくなるなんて・・・
...Please no...
I'd no longer see... no longer be able to practice wheel gymnastics...


・・・な・・・涙！！
..She's...She's crying!!

34
ヒューヒュー　さっそく兄貴
女（タレ）なかせてますねぇ
Whooo Boss has already made her cry

あいつら　何てタイミングで・・・
Damn their timing...

ここをオレ達の根城にしましょーや　
テメーら全員パシリだ
Let's make this our new HQ
All ya'll are our peons

・・・・・・・・麗たんが・・・・
泣いている・・・
...Rei-tan... is crying...

見える　見えるよ
I can see it, right before my eyes

麗たんを救う選択肢が・・・
The choices I have to save Rei-tan

１泣きっ面にシャイニングウィザード
1. A shinning wizard for her crying face

２ラート部を救う！！
2. Save the wheel gymnastics club!!

３デートに誘う
3. Ask her out on a date

・・・嬢・・・オイが動く理由は
アンタのその瞳の宝石で充分じゃ・・・・
... girl... those bejeweled eyes of yours, are reason enough for me to do anything.

・・・えっ
... eh?!

ラート部は
この団吾番長様に任しときゃええ・・・
Just leave this club to the good ol' gang leader Dango...

３５

・・・ハイ・・・番長さん
... OK... Leader-san

なんか今カッコイイ事言えちゃったよ　ボク
番長ルックになってると何か勇気出てくるよ～～
Woah I just totally nailed that line!
This leader look actually inspires confidence!!

オ・・・オラァ
オイにもラート貸さんかい！
Hey... Hey, can you give me one of those wheel things!?

ハッハイ！
Ah, Here!

ここで良い所を見せれば・・・
麗たんはボクの嫁！！
If I land this then...
Rei-tan is mine!!

いくぜぇ～～～～～～
第６５４７の返し球(カウンター）！！！
Here I go----!!! Counter-Move #6547


うなれぇ　オイのトラスティィィ
Fly my trusty ring!!

ラートは輪投げじゃないぞぉぉぉ
Wheel gymnastics isn't ring tossing!!!

３６


出たぁぁ　兄貴の十八番
第６５４７の返し球！！！
There it is!! Boss's specialty
Counter-Move #6547!!

桁外れのトラスティだぜぇ
It's incredibly accurate

最近の輪投げは重いな・・・
ボディビルダー用か？
Man, the rings sure have gotten heavy...
These built for body builders?

まったく意味わから～～～ん
What the &%$# are you thinking?!

いい？本によると　そもそもラートっつーのは
鉄の輪を平行につないだ器具で
様々な体操を行う競技らしいぞ
Look, according to this book wheel gymnastics is a sport where you use two iron rings that are connected side by side to perform various gymnastic activities

そのまま回転したり　　直転
Just rolling. Straight rolling

傾けて回ったり　　　　斜転
Lean and roll. Lean rolling

ラートの上を飛び越えたり　　跳躍
Jumping out the top of it. Jumping

色々競技形式に種類があるんだってさ
There are various ways to compete in matches

テメェ誰に口きいてんだ
あぁ？
Who the hell you do you think you're talking to? Huh?

お前がわかんないから　教えたんだろーが！
このヤロー
You don't have a clue so I'm trying to teach you here!
Ass

よーし茶越　大会までバリバリしごくぜ　このヤロ～
Alright Chakoshi! We're going train hard for the next tournament! You got that?!

ええ！？オレも手伝うの
EHH?!?! I gotta help too??!

オ～～～～～～～～～～～～～！！
Oh------------!!!

それから厳しい特訓の日々が続き・・・
Their hard and special training continued for several days...

３７


大会の日がやってきた
And then it was time for the tournament!

さぁ　ついにやって参りました
全国ラート愛好者の祭典　
ツール・ド・ラートの開幕です！！
Well we're finally back here again
The opening game Tour de Rhonrad for enthusiasts of wheel gymnastics all over!

つーる　ど　らーと？？？
Tool doh wheel?!

ってなんじゃこらぁ～～～～～～！？
体操ちゃうんかい！？
What in ‘da hell is that?
Aren't we supposed to be doing gymnastics?!

ラートを自転車代りにして行う　ロードレースだとよ
It's an event where you road race using the wheel instead of a bike

ツール・ド・ラート　っつーのは
全長１００㎞にも及ぶ鉄人ロードレースらしいぞ
The Tour de Rhonrad is a strong men road race that covers a length of 100km

市街地　
Towns

平原
Plains

山岳地帯
Mountains

３８

ひゃ・・・１００㎞やと～～～～～
Onhunned...kiwometeers...

軽く死ねるじゃねぇかぁぁぁ
This'll take fifty years off my life!!

ちょっと急用を思い出した　
ジャンフェス行かなきゃ
I just remembered something urgent!
I need to go to the Jump Festival!!

生原見に・・・
I Wanna see Ikuhara...

こらぁ職場放棄すなぁ～～～～
あれを見ろ～～～～～～～～～～～～～！！
Hey! Don't ditch us!
Look over there---!!!

がんばって下さいね
Good luck!! <3

ああ・・・麗たん・・・
Man... Rei-tan...

君の笑顔　反則だよ・・・
Your smiling face is foul play...

兄貴ィィィィ！！軍団総出で応援に来やしたぜ
BossSSSSSS!! We've gathered the gang and came to support ya!!

ガンガンに特攻っこんで下せぇや！！
Give it all you got!!!

さてここでなぞなぞです
目の前には美少女
後ろには鑑別帰りのヤンキー共
これ　なぁ～んだ？
Alrighty then... can you riddle me this? You've got a beautiful girl in front of you, and a gang of punk teenagers who just got back from a delinquent center behind you...
What do you call this?

それでは選手共の紹介です！！
Well then time to introduce our participants!!

３９

首都高ラート部だぁぁぁ！！！
Shuto High's Wheel Gymnastic club!!!

羅亜斗凶走族　バリバリ参上だぁ！！
夜露死苦ゥ！！！
The Ra-to speeders coming at ‘ya!!
Thanks for coming!!

*trans note*
They use Kanji to spell out both "Ra-to(the name of the club in German) and Yoroshiku (means "nice to meet you / pleasure is ours / thanks for coming etc")
The kanji they use are-
For the Ra-to team they use:
羅 Gauze
亜 Asia
斗 Big dipper
凶 Evil
走 Running
族 Team

For Yoroshiku they use:
夜 Night
露 Tears
死 Death
苦 Suffer


なんと御手洗選手は特攻服で登場だぁ！！
Oh my! It looks like contestant Mitarashi has decided to appear wearing a biker gang jacket!!

兄貴はウチの族の総長も兼ねてるからな！！
That's cus’ Boss is representing us too!!

さあ昨年は３校が出場しておりましたが
統廃合が進みまして現在全国２校！
Last year there were three schools present but this year after reorganizing we are left with only two in the entire country!

６人の投稿戦士がここに集いました
The 6 contributing soldiers have gathered here today!

投稿戦士！？べつにハガキ描いてないよ！！
Contributing soldiers?! I didn't join no army!

少なッ！全国でツール・ド・ラート人口
たったの６人か！？
Eh?! The number of participants in the Tour de Rhonrad is 6 for the entire country?! So small!

指導者は３０人いるらしいけどね
Right, but there are about 30 coaches

ええっ！？そりゃ実況にものずきとか言われるわ！！
Ehh?! No wonder the reporters call them weird!!

４０

そして高校ラート界の至宝
車輪学園三兄弟だ！！！
And now for the stars of wheel gymnastics!
The three brothers from Sharin Gakuen!

この３人にはプロのスカウトも目を光らせております
These 3 have pro scouter's eyes dazzled!

プロ！？ニーズあったの？
Pro!? There's needs for that?

彼らは昨年　ベストラーニスト
ＭＶＰ受賞　　中学・高校総体５連覇中なんだ
Last year they were the best runners winning the MVP as well as 5 successive championships throughout middle and high school.

どんだけバケモンだよ　オイ！！
Damn! Are they even human?!

で・・・でも　これに勝てれば
きっと麗たんも喜んでくれるはず・・・
Bu... But if I win this...
I'm sure Rei-tan will be overjoyed...

番長さん・・・オレさ・・・
このレース完走できたらマネージャーに
告白しようと思うんだ
Leader-san... I was thinking...
If I finish this race then I'm going to ask the manager out!

なんだって～～～～～～～～！？
Say what?!?!

彼女ってさチャーミングだろ・・・？
Don't you think she's charming..?

ええ～～～～～～！？
恐れていた　最悪のイベント発生だ・・・
EHHHH????!?!!!
My biggest nightmare has just come true...!!

４１


このレース無事終わったらメシでも奢らせてくれよ
だから死ぬなよな
If we finish this race in one piece, let me treat you to something to eat... So don't die on me!

この人のセリフ　
戦争ものでまっ先に死ぬタイプだよ・・・！！
You know who typically say things like that? People who get killed first in movies and novels about wars!

さぁ選手達　一斉にマシンに乗り込みます！！
Well then, contestants proceed to get in your machine!

マシン！？ラートの事か！？
Machine?! He's talking about the wheel, right?!

・・・何てサマにならないんだ
This...is going to suck

地獄の１００㎞ロードレース
The 100km road race of hell!

レディーＧＯ！！！
Ready Go!!!!

４２


目がぁぁ～～～
これで１００㎞は死ねる・・・！！
どーりで完走できない訳だ
My eyes---!!
100km of this and I'll die...!!!
No wonder they weren't able to complete a race

誰だよこんなクソ競技考えたクソ野郎は・・・
見つけたら　そいつのブログ荒らしてやる・・・
And who in the hell thought up this brilliant idea
If I find that Son of a-...
I'll expose that guy on my blog!!

ヒィィ兄貴の目　もの凄い怒りだ
Mannnn!! Look at Boss's eyes, they're red with rage!!

あ・・・あれはきっと　今もアフリカでは
罪も無い子供達が餓死している　
世の不条理に対してだ・・・
Ah... that's probably because of all the innocent children in Africa starving to death and all the other irrationalities of the world...

兄貴はラートをやりながらも
世界平和（ラブ＆ピース）を考えているのか！！
Boss is thinking about Love and Peace while competing in wheel gymnastics!!

あっとここで車輪三兄弟
猛スパートで飛び出したぁぁ
Oh my my! The 3 Sharin brothers have spurt on ahead!

うわぁあ
速すぎる！！
Woah!! They’re too fast!!

さすがチャンピオンだ！
Only champions can do that!

かまうもんか
It doesn't matter!

追うぞ野郎共ォォ！！
CHAAAAAARGE!

４３

速い！！！車輪三兄弟！！
The Sharin brothers are fast!!!

縦列のトレイン状態で差をぐんぐん広げていく！！
Their train formation is widening the gap further and further!!

クソッ　あいつら縦一列になってから
凄いスピードじゃねえか！！
Damn it! Ever since they made a line like that, they're going much faster!!

あれは風よけ・・・
１００㎞もある長距離レース用の陣形だよ
Ah, that's called drafting... It's a formation used in long distance races like these.

風よけだと！？
Drafting?!

先頭を走る選手は空気抵抗でスタミナを激しく消耗する
The head of the pack uses up lots of his stamina because of the air resistance.

そこでチーム内で一人先頭役をたてれば
残りの２人は後ろに隠れて楽に走行できるんだ
And so if they set up who will race at the head of them, then the remaining members can race behind the leader a lot easier because of the little resistance.

お～～～～～～～～よくわからんが
後ろが楽になるんだな！？
よっしゃあオイ達もやるぞ～～！！！
Ohhh---- I don't really get it but, the person at the end has it easy, right? Alright then let's do it!


４４

って　テメーら　何ちゃっかり後ろ下がってんだ
Wait a tic! Why the hell are you guys slowing behind me?!

いいのか？舎弟共にお前が声優のラジオで
”まろん同盟”というラジオネームの常連だって
言っちゃうぞ
You sure about that? I'll tell the boys that you're a regular participant in the Seiyuu radio program under the radio name "Maron Alliance"

まろん同盟はヤバイよ
まろん同盟のあざ名だけは・・・
Shit, not the name "Maron Alliance"
Anything but that...

・・・仕方ねぇな
漢（おとこ）の背中ってもん
しかと目に焼きつけな
...heh, take in what the back of a man looks like!

ば・・・番長さん
Lea...Leader-san...

板についてきたじゃねぇかよ
Looks like you're becoming a natural one


４５

首都高も負けじと御手洗くんを先頭に
Not giving up, the Shuto High sends Mitarashi-kun to the front!!

優勝候補チームを追走しているぞ！！！
They're catching up to the favored team!!

さすが頂点に立つ御方だ!!
No wonder he's our leader!!

あの方は一番しか興味ねぇ
誰かの後ろを走るなんざ許せねえのさ！！
He doesn't care about anything but first, and won't forgive anyone being in front of him!!

・・・オレはいい友達に恵まれたようだ
２人共・・・聞いてくれ
... Looks like I'm amongst some great friends... guys, hear me out...

・・・どうやら・・・オレは・・・ここまでの
よ・・う・・だ・・・
...it doesn't look...like I can....go any…further...

ええ～ッ！？
EHHHH?!?!?!?


テメーーーまだ始まって１０㎞も走ってねぇだろがい
you've yet to reach 10km since we've started!!!

団吾・・・グッラック・・・
Dango... Good...Luck....

４６

現在　半分の５０㎞を通過！
依然　車輪三兄弟がトップ！
We've reached the halfway point of 50km!!
The Sharin brothers are still in the lead!

追うは首都高だぁぁ
With Shuto High following behind!!

そ・・・そりゃそーだろね・・・
We..ll Yeah...

出場高２校だけだし
There are only two schools participating after all

すごい・・・
ずっと番長　風よけをしてくれてる
Wow... Leader has been letting me draft behind him the entire time...

面太郎～～～！！！
大丈夫かぁ～～！！
Mentarou~~~!!! You ok??!??!

うっ・・・
Ughh

４７
ぐあああ・・・あ・・・足が・・・
Gahhhh... ah... my leg...

バ・・・バカヤロウ立てよ！
今ならまだ間に合う・・・
Get up... moron!!!
We can still make it...

４８

・・・もう無理だよ・・・
... I can't go on....

まだ５０㎞もある・・・のに・・・
足はこのザマ・・・だし
ラートも曲がっちゃった・・・
・・・番長だけでも先に行ってくれ・・・
We've still got 50km...
My leg's in this condition..
And my wheel's all bent up...
Leader, go on without me...

さぁレース開始より４時間
トップ集団がやってまいりました～！！！
4 hours since the race started and the top racers have made their appearance!!

あとゴールまで３００Ｍだぁ～～！！！
The goal is only 300 meters away!!!

ついに来たぁぁ
They're finally here!!!

兄貴待ってました
ラート初参戦で初優勝の伝説達成じゃあ
We've been waiting for ya’ Boss!!!
Your first wheel gymnastics match and first win for a legendary achievement!!!

４９


先頭は車輪三兄弟です！！！
And the Sharin brothers are in the lead!!

そのままゴール　車輪三兄弟！！
高校３連覇！！！
The Sharin brothers past the finish line!
Their third consecutive high school championship!!


彼らはきっとプロの世界へはばたいていく事でしょう！！
They'll probably go on to become professionals from here!

う・・・うそだ
兄貴が負けた・・・最強伝説の兄貴が・・・
No... No way!
Our Boss lost... Our strongest legendary Boss lost...


５０

レース開始よりまもなく１０時間
We're approaching 10 hours since the start of the race

本大会規定によりレースは終了となります・・・
And according to tournament's regulations manual, the race will come to an end...

・・・んだよ
なにが最強伝説だ　助けるどころか自滅じゃねえか
To hell with that…how is this ‘legendary strength’? Forget saving them, he plain ruined it!

こんな小ねえ人数相手に惨敗なんてよ
I can't believe he lost when there weren't even that many people!

あ～～～～あ　ったく　白けたわ
応援して損したぜ
ARGHHHHH damn, that's it. I'm done cheering.

チッ・・・ズラかるか・・・
tch... Let's just go...

・・・・・テメェら・・・
Oi…you guys…

何　好き勝手ぬかしてんだ・・・
Did I…give you permission to leave?!

５１－５２

・・・レースはまだ・・・
終わってねぇだろうが・・・
... the race ain't over... just yet...

私・・・最後まで諦めない人が好き・・・
I... admire those who never give up!

５３

へへ・・・ボク・・・
君の理想の男に　ちょっとは近づけたかなぁ・・・
Hehe... I ... I wonder if I've won a little of your affection...

ああ・・・泣かないで　麗たん・・・
Ah... Don't cry Rei-tan...

兄貴ィ～～～！！！
Boss-----!!!!!

５４

ば・・・番長～～～！！！
Le....Leader---!!!

ゴ・・・ゴール！！！
９時間５９分
池　面太郎くん完走です！！
Go...Goal!!!
9 Hours and 59 minutes!!
Ike Mentarou-kun Finished the race!!

ああ・・・麗たん・・・
見ててくれたかな　ボクの生き様・・・
Ah... Rei-tan...
Did you see me? My way of life....

５５


れぇいいだぁぁん
Rei---daann--

面太郎くん！！
Mentarou-kun!!!

マ・・・マネージャー
Ma..Manager....

ふ・・・踏んだ・・？！？
麗たんが・・・
She....Step...
Rei-tan Stepped on ME?!??!

いや・・・
本物の麗ならこんなひどい事　絶対しない
Wait...
The real Rei-tan wouldn't do something as cruel as this. I just know it.

ありゃニセモノだ
どぐされメスブタじゃ～～～～！！！
That manpig is an imposter!!!!

あ・・・兄貴が血の涙を流して
怒り狂ってる
B....Boss is bleeding tears
He's boiling with rage

こ・・・殺される・・・
おれは兄貴の事疑っちまった愚かな
オレ達への怒りだ
We...we're dead meat...
Rage for foolishing doubting Boss for even a second


す・・・
すんませんした～～
兄貴ィィ
We....
We're sorry Boss....

なぁ兄貴何とか言ってくれよ
Boss... say something, Boss....
・・・やっぱボクには２次元の麗たんだけ・・・
Heh... looks like I'm only fit for 2D girls...

・・・・・・・か・・・るいの　れぃ・・・
....Ka....rui... no... Rei....
(just to remind you they hear it as... "....Car...ry no...weigh...t...")

わ・・・わかりやした　乗りますよ
さぁ野郎共　完走祝いの
逆ピラミッドだぁぁ
Al...alright Boss... We'll get on ya
Come on boys!! To celebrate completing the race!!
The reverse pyramid!!

いぎゃああああああああ
Aghhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

伝説誕生！！
２０人乗り！！
A new legend, 20 Person Pyramid!!!