sephtastic Releases

Translation: Gintama 116

Sun, 19 Aug 2007 09:29:57 +0000

oh god X_X;;; Sorry for posting 3 in a row, but it's all mostly one fight, so yeah. Didn't want to break the Hijikata fight more than it already is XD;

chapter 116

Kita: If it's not one thing, it's another. I've heard plenty of excuses from guys like you, who look down at dojo practices. You'll say things like "even though we lost in the dojo kendo competitions, if it's a real fight, we'd win." I'm sick of hearing that. Those are just excuses. Those are all excuses by people who don't practice and don't take things seriously.

Kita: I don't care what you think, but it doesn't matter how many "real" battles you've fought. If you don't practice, you're still going to lose in the end.

Hijikata: Oi, why are your eyes like that?

Kita: There's nothing wrong with my eyes.

Kita: In any case, while you were swinging that big sword of yours around senselessly, we were practicing. So there's no way you'd win.

Hijikata: You really like to argue, don't you. Whatever. My turn. YOU BASTARD CAN SHUT THE HELL UP AND GET A TASTE OF A REAL FIGHT!

Kita: He's still attacking. But it doesn't matter how you attack, as long as you have that big plate, you're still at a disadvantage. If I try to break your plate, you'd have to go on the defensive. I know exactly how you'll move. Come on, this is bait for you.

Kita: What????

Hijikata: I'M SICK OF STUPID AND CONDESCENDING BAITS LIKE THAT! If you really want to try and lure me, you gotta get some expensive cuisine and cover it with mayonnaise.

Hijikata: Right now, I don't care about your baits or whatever. I'M NOT going to be at a disadvantage!

Kita: He's continuously attacking, ack.

Kondo: Aha. With this, there's no way for that guy (Kita) to do anything to Toushi. Offense is the best defense. That's the Toushi I know!

Kita: Do you plan on settling this quickly? But in a place like this , you're just going to end up using energy. Besides, you have a fatal weakness. I've already seen through you. You're just attacking unchangingly. There's no way that kind of method would win.

Hijikata: I DON'T CARE IF YOU'VE SEEN THROUGH ME. I BET YOU CAN'T SEE THROUGH MY FOOT UNDER WATER!

Kita: Even though you said earlier that I can't leave the confines of the rules, but you're the same too, being limited, I mean. We've learned thousands of ways to counter all sorts of attacks. Any move you make, we know exactly how to block it because of practice. That's the difference between someone who's highly trained, and someone like you. You rely on your talents and instincts too much, and don't practice enough.

Shinpachi: KONDO-SAN! We should do something!! This doesn't look good! ...Kondo-san?

Kondo: Sorry, please don't get in the way of that fight. He really hates losing, so if you're going to get involved, he'll be pissed, and you might die. He (Hijikata) knows better than anyone that just whacking and killing things won't get you anywhere. Certainly not winning. Am I right, Toushi?

Kondo: This all happened before we came to Edo...when we were still at that country dojo....

(scene shifts to flash back)

Kondo: There was an annoying and scary guy, running around and fighting all the dojos, beating people up. Everyone was real pissed about that, but nobody wanted to challenge this scary guy one-on-one. So they banded together and went off to see him. That scary guy was truly scary. Even faced with all those people threatening him, he didn't budge. So obviously, he didn't apologize to any of them. He single-handedly beat all of them.

Kondo: But they outnumbered him, and so he didn't win in the end.

Kondo: I was kind of hesitant, but in the end, I brought him back to our dojo. Besides, considering his injuries, he might've died.

(still flash back, but scene shifts to Kondo practicing at the dojo with a young Okita. )

Kondo: 323! 324!!! GAH!! TOO MUCH! THAT'S ENOUGH SWINGS!! I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!

Dojo master: WHAT?!?!?!?!? IF YOU'RE THAT PATHETIC, HOW CAN I LEAVE THE DOJO TO YOU!?!?!?!? I'M GONNA DIE SOON!

Kondo: SO?! I'm covered in blood already!! I don't want to keep swinging this stupid piece of wood!

Dojo master: KENDO ISN'T NECESSARILY ABOUT STRENGTH, IDIOT! AS LONG AS YOU PRACTICE, YOU'LL KNOW WHAT I MEAN!! Your hands are merely swinging the tree trunk, but you need to control your breathing AND your whole body!!!!! THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT!

Dojo master: SEE!! LOOK AT SOUGO! EVEN THOUGH HE'S TINY, HE CAN DO IT!!! HE REALLY IS A GENIUS!!!

Dojo master: Eh? What the---!

Kondo: This is why we can't get any new recruits.

Kondo: YOu wanna give it a try? Or I guess not, since you're injured. I think you really do have a lot of talent! Both your reaction time and instincts are very exceptional, and that's not something you can learn anywhere. So come on, how about it? Wanna practice with us? Talent alone won't get you anywhere. See, in the end, you couldn't beat all of them, right?

Hijikata: I have no interest in that. Holding a tree trunk isn't going to make me stronger.

Kondo: I guess it couldn't have been helped. He was just a violent guy, after all.

Young Okita: Hey, what's up with that guy, huh? Can I tell him to die?

Kondo: BUt he never left the dojo. He always just sat there and watched us practice. But one day, he left. His injuries weren't healed, though, so I was really worried, and ran off to look for him.

(still flash back, scene shifts to Hijikata )

Random people: I DON'T CARE! WE'RE GOING TO TEAR DOWN THIS DOJO!! THERE'S A RUMOR KONDO'S RECRUITING YOU!?!?? WHAT THE HELL!!!!

Hijikata: I already said I'm leaving. So don't make any trouble for him.

Random people: SO?!?!?! BESIDES, BEFORE WE BEAT UP KONDO, WE SHOULD BEAT YOU UP!!!

Kondo: He was even more terrifying than before. Even though his injuries weren't healed, judging by his movements, they were more self-assured and much more powerful. But by the time I finally snapped out of it, he and I were surrounded by blood and bodies. We were the only two remained standing.

Hijikata: Why'd you come?

Kondo: Well, if you're going to use my dojo's style to fight off other people, that could be troublesome for my dojo, sooooooo.

Hijikata: WHAT. Since when did I joined up with your dojo?!

Hijikata: Geez. I didn't know you were that nice of a guy. I wanted to pay you back for taking me in earlier, but I guess I end up owing you more.

Kondo: You don't have to think that you owe me anything. You're always going to be welcome here. I've already considered you a disciple! All those bloody blisters on your hands? That's proof.

Kondo: Haha. How many times did you practice and swing that big tree trunk? Even I'm not that into it. No wonder your injuries never healed.

Hijikata: Those are not bloody blisters. That was just me getting hit by the department store's automatic doors.

Kondo: That's Hijikata Toushirou for you. He'll never let you know, and he'll never let it slip....but I know

(back to the present, where we see Kita and Hijikata fighting still)

Kondo: Back then...and even now, his entire head's filled with kendo, and how to improve himself.

Kita: You're hiding your sword under water so I can't see how you plan on attacking? PLEASE! THAT'S PATHETIC!! LIKE I'LL FALL FOR THAT!

Kondo: He doesn't like hearing other people saying how he never practices. Maybe compared to Yagyuu's fighting style, his does seem much more rough and unrefined. But, that sword of his is extremely sharp---

Kondo: His sword can cut through anything, even steel.

Shinpachi: HIJIKATA-SAN!!!!!!

Hijikata: Sorry about letting you guys wait.

Kondo: Toushi. Looks like you got injured during the fight too.

Hijikata: Hah? This isn't from the fight. This is from that damn department store's doors.

Translation: Gintama 115

Sun, 19 Aug 2007 09:23:37 +0000

Chapter 115

((Shinpachi and Kondo show up at where the Kagura-Okita-Nishi fight was, and surveying the damage. Okita and Nishi are lying in a heap, unconscious, and bleeding))

Shinpachi: ....Okita-san...he...

Kondo: ....How is that...Sougo....

Shinpachi: Oh no. He's leg's broken.

Kondo: This is just too extreme. Both of them are in really bad condition. But there's no way for Sougo to have gotten his leg broken but still manage to win like that? Someone must've done it on purpose after the fight or something...

Kondo: NO!! SOUGO, YOU CAN'T LOSE!! RIGHT, SOUGO!!! YOU'RE ALWAYS THE FIRST TO UNDERSTAND ANY NEW CONCEPTS BACK AT THE DOJO, RIGHT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Kondo: YOU'RE PLAYING A JOKE ON ME, RIGHT!! COME ON, ANSWER ME, SOUGO!!!!

Kondo: ...................Unforgivable.

Kondo: I WILL NOT FORGIVE WHOEVER DID THIS!!! I THOUGHT WE ONLY HAD TO BREAK THE PLATES!! THERE WAS NO NEED TO GO TO SUCH EXTREMES TO WIN A FIGHT!!!!! DO THESE PEOPLE ONLY CARE ABOUT TORTURING OTHERS?!?!?!?!?

Shinpachi: Maybe there's a clue on there that could tell us who did this?????

Shinpachi: .....................

Kondo: DAMMIT! WHO DID THIS!!! SOUGO! I'LL AVENGE YOU!!!!!!

Shinpachi: ER--YEAH!!! WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING!! I'LL KILL THEM!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

Kondo: Exactly! ...Wait, why are you all sweaty and nervous-looking?

Shinpachi: TOO HOT HERE!! I demand more AC!

Kondo and Shinpachi: YEAH COME ON OUT! WE'RE HERE TO AVENGE OKITA!!!!

Shinpachi: Ah, sorry for interrupting your meal.

Kondo: Wrong room. Please excuse us.

Kondo and Shinpachi: HEY WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!!!!!!

Kita: If we're hungry, we can't fight. Do you wish to join us?

Kondo: HOW CAN YOU BE THIS RELAXED, TOUSHI!?!?!?!? YOU'RE EATING THE ENEMY'S FOOD!!! ENEMY!!!

Shinpachi: Hijikata-san, what are you doing?!?!?? Maybe we should do a three-on-one?????????

Hijikata: All of you, stay out of it. Besides, that's my fried rice.

Shinpachi: Hijikata-san!!! NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE TALKING ABOUT FRIED RICE!

KIta: Oi. Hand me that bottle of ketchup.

Hijikata: Oh, this?

Shinpachi: What the...????

Kondo: They don't seem nervous at all.

Kita: You guys wouldn't understand. The fight between the two of us has already begun.

Hijikata: As a samurai, even if it's something as simple as eating or using chopsticks, you have to do it your way. Strict and precise.

Kita: Daily activities are all chances to hone your skills. That's how you become a real samurai.

Kita: Hijikata Toushirou. Do you truly understand that concept? The idea that you should limit yourself to become a samurai?

Shinpachi: KETCHUP!?

Kondo: Fried rice with ketchup!?

Kita: Let me tell you something. People might think of me as a crazy ketchup lover, but I actually hate tomatoes. Looking at it makes me sick. But I eat the food that I hate the most, in order to train myself, and be a samurai.

Kondo and Shinpachi: THAT'S NOT TRAINING. THAT'S JUST UNHEALTHY.

Kita: Can YOU do it?

Kita: AH!? What is that!??!?!?

Hijikata: This? This is mayonnaise.

Kita: FRIED RICE WITH MAYO!??!?! HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!?!? CAN HE REALLY EAT THAT?!?!? OR MAYBE HE'S ACTUALLY SURPASSI---!!!!!!!!

Hijikata: Let me tell YOU something. People might think I'm a crazy mayo lover, but that's not true. Just looking at the Kewpie doll (note: Kewpie = a brand of mayo in Japan) makes me want to vomit.

Kondo and Shinpachi: *thinking* THAT'S JUST AN OUTRIGHT LIE!! YOU'D LIE TO WIN!!!!!!!

Kita: Ohhh? No wonder they call you the demon vice commander. This was an interesting meal.

Hijikata: I want a smoke. Got an ashtray?

Kita: Before you have your smoke, shouldn't you say something like, "I'm finished with my meal?"

Hijikata: Thank you for such a nasty lunch.

Kita: HERE YOU GO! Here's your ash tray!

Kita: Oh, you're much sharper and quicker than I expected. Your sense of athleticism and instincts are both extremely exceptional. And not to mention, both honed by years of fighting in real life-and-death battles. Definitely a fighting style to be feared. Other swordsmen have no chance against you. But, those swordsmen are all third-rates. When you fight against a real kendo master, you'd lose.

Hijikata: Are you calling yourself a master now? Please. Someone as spoiled as you probably have never killed a fly before.

Kita: Hacking things down isn't kendo. Come on and show me what you've got.

Hijikata: Don't talk so big!

Kita: I've already seen through your technique. You purposely make big movements to lure in your opponents, then when they're close enough, you rely on your well-honed instincts to attack. I'VE ALREADY SEEN THROUGH YOU!

Kita: You rely on your intuition too much.

Kondo: TOUSHI!

Kita: You purposely twisted your body to avoid the plate getting hit? That's some scary instinct and reaction time. But, that's also your weakness.

Kondo: Shit. That guy really has seen through Toushi's fighting habits. (note: Kondo and Shinpachi are just sitting there and watching and commentating)

Kondo: For the Shinsengumi, when we fight, it's always between life and death. The enemy fight to not only win, but also to kill us. So even if we're just injured, it'll most likely be a really bad injury. No different from being dead. Which is why we must always be alert and have a sense of impending danger.

Kondo: Toushi's been fighting on the front lines for years now, so his instincts are extremely sharp and can sense when to attack, and how to lead the attack to his advantage. He's stronger than all of us in that respect. But---

Kondo: That guy (Kita) isn't fighting to kill. He's been in the dojo for years, and they have a completely different style than us who fight out in the real world. For him, he scopes out the other person's INTENTIONS, then move in for victory. So Toushi's overly-sharp instincts just seem to be a weakness, and it's all because of the giant plate he's got. Toushi's instincts are sharper than usual, because he needs to protect that big plate, but that also means he'll react to any movement that Kita makes.

Kondo: That guy (Kita again) uses that to his advantage and can lure out Toushi anyway he wants.

Kondo: He's (Kita) a well-trained kendo master, who can fight by controlling and determining how his opponents are planning to attack and thinking.

Kita: If this were a fight out in a dojo competition setting, I don't know how many points I just won. Even though you keep saying how in a real fight, you'd win, I don't think that's the case. Give up. That big plate is just going to put you on the defensive.

KIta: You still want to fight?

Hijikata: I don't care if it's one point, or two points, or even more than that. I don't care if I lose an arm, a leg, as long as I'm still breathing, I"ll keep fighting. That's a real brawl for you.

Kita: And that's why I hate you country gangster types.

Hijikata: Oh by the way? I borrowed an ash tray from you. I really needed a smoke.

Kita: *thinking* ...Is that...my plate....????? YOU BASTARD! WHEN DID YOU-- GIVE THAT BACK!

Kita: wait what? I still have the plate...? Then...the plate he's holding is from when I threw that saucer during the meal...???

Hijikata: I don't know what you mean by lures and baits, but if you're talking about playing tricks on opponents, I've got plenty of that.

Hijikata: No matter how much ketchup you put on your fried rice or whatever, that's still normal. Face it, you can't jump out of the confines of the dojo, and that's the limitations of your dojo fighting style. Always playing by the rules.

Hijikata: I put mayonnaise on desserts, even. Come on, let me show you how real men fight.

Translation: Gintama 114

Sun, 19 Aug 2007 09:19:04 +0000

For urakai scans :o

Minami: Hey, Kita Oojitsuki, how does my face look?

Kita: I think it looks like a penis.

Minami: What. I wanted to you to look at how badly I'm injured.

Kita: You're covered in blood. I think you should go to the doctors and make it clean again. Make sure to not infect anything.

Minami: DON'T MAKE IT SOUND LIKE I HAVE AN STD!

Minami: Ehhhh? Doesn't this look cool though? Good-looking men looks even better while bleeding. Hey, help me take a picture of this.

Minami: Nishi, come here and take a picture too.

Nishi: Dammit, you're too immature.

Minami: It'll make for a good memory! We rarely get to get injured like this, you know. Isn't this cool---

Kita and Nishi: This fight should be interesting.

Kagura: I can't believe this. And look, their plates aren't even broken yet. If it was the Yoruzuya, I bet we can take care of it.

Okita: Do you miss them or something? You almost got beaten up.

Hijikata: So, Sougo you bastard, where'd you run off to earlier?

Kagura: HEY! WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE FIGHTING RIGHT NOW!

Hijikata: Best strategy in battle is targeting the enemy's weaknesses, then set the necessary traps. Hook, line, and sinker.

Kagura: WHO ARE YOU CALLING BAIT?!

Hijikata: Where's that guy from the Yoruzuya?

Okita: I'm sure he'll be fine.

Kagura: YOU ABANDONED GIN-CHAN! I'm going to go find him. He's lonely! I'm sure of it!!!!!

Hijikata: I THINK YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S LONELY. DON'T JUST RUN OFF LIKE THAT!

Nishi: Hey. Stay still, girlie. It's only a matter of time before you guys are beaten, anyway. So it doesn't matter if you go help that guy (referring to gintoki) or not.

Hijikata: Shit, he threw that big-ass rock? That's some scary strength.

Minami: Ahh~ you messed up the house again. Koshinori-san is not going to be happy about that.

Nishi: Who cares. We only answer to the head (referring to Kyuu)

Kagura: Get out of my way. Those two will take of these guys here (referring to Minami and Kita, respectively). We'll have a good fight.

Nishi: I LIKE THAT STRENGTH OF YOURS! ALMOST LIKE A DEMON!!!! THEN AS YOU WISH!

Kita: Hey. Your opponent is here, Shinsengumi's Demon Vice-Commander.

Kita: You probably don't know this, but I've seen you around town quite a few times. You're the monkey king who's always leading that pack of animals who dare to call themselves samurais. Allow me to show you what being a samurai truly entails.

Hijikata: Fine by me.

Minami: So I guess I'm suppose to fight you then?

Minami: My name is Minami Tosui. Since both of us are good looking men, let's fight fair, shall we? So let's not hit the face, okay? Otherwise, there will be some really sad women out there.

Okita: Oh, don't worry. We're just second-rate samurais anyway, so it's not like we have any luck with women.

Minami: Hey hey~ Do you really want that cute face of yours get messed up? You don't honestly think you third-rates can beat us?

Okita: Whatever. So besides the face, I can do whatever I want?

Minami: Hey. Don't forget you have to actually break the plate in order to win. Do you even know where my plate is?

Minami: WHAT?!

Okita: Look. I'm not here to break plates or whatever. I'm just here to beat all of you up.

Minami: How...How is that possible?! This guy...he's too strong, and he---

Okita: So that's where your plate is. Ohh~ I should really be careful then, and not mess your face up, hmmm?

Minami: AND HE'S A SADIST!

Okita: DON'T YOU DARE BELITTLE OUR COUNTRY SWORD FIGHTING -----

Nishi: Minami, what are you doing? This is all because you're always running off looking for women and neglecting your training. Your plate okay?

Minami: Hoho, Nishi, that guy is troublesome. But, I look forward to it.

Okita: Hey, what are you doing? Don't tell me you couldn't beat that big guy?

Kagura: Shut up! I'm....not so good right now. I think my wrist's dislocated.

Okita: You're not saying---!!

Nishi: Well, obviously, how can she still be okay after being attacked by us like that? She tried to protect her plate, and so her right hand got hurt. Give up!

Okita: Hmmmm. If we make it go the other way, it should be okay.........

Nishi: Er...I don't think that's a good idea.....

Kagura: OWAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Okita: Eh? Wrong way?

Kagura: OW!!! YOU STUPID--!!! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?!?!?

Okita: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! MY LEG!! MY LEG!!!!!! IT'S BROKEN!!! DID YOU REALLY HAVE TO BREAK IT?!?!?!?!

Kagura: Gin-chan said you should go all out in a fight.

Nishi: Looks like it's decided then. You guys are fighting amongst yourselves. There's no way you can win now.
Nishi: Give me the plates.

Kagura: NO!

Nishi: It's no use. A samurai who's lost his arm and his leg...he's useless. A samurai values above all, a decisive end to things. You guys are pitiful, hiding and crawling away. You make me sick.

Okita: Hmph. A decisive end to things? Sorry, we're second-rates. We don't talk bushido. ...A samurai without an arm and a leg....

Okita: Oi! Which do you hate more: teaming up with me, or losing to that guy?

Kagura: ...I hate both.

Okita: Me too.

Kagura: But... Gin-chan said we have to go all out in fights. And I owe you one for earlier.

Nishi: GET OUT OF THERE, YOU PITIFUL SAMURAIS!

Okita: We're here, you big lump. Let's fight that last fight here and now! Come on!

Nishi: ........What the.

Okita: If the guy who doesn't have a leg teams up with someone who doesn't have an arm, then....

Kagura: HEY!! DON'T CLING TO ME WITH YOUR LEGS SO TIGHTLY!!! IT'S GROSS!

Okita: I DON'T HAVE A CHOICE!

Nishi: HAHAHAHHAHAA. Do you really think that'll work?

Okita: OF COURSE! We can even tap dance!

Kagura: I CAN'T TAP DANCE!

Okita: OKAY MAYBE WE CAN'T REALLY TAP DANCE!

Nishi: I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!!

Okita: Hey--ow---ow---hey stop---ow ow--- it's not fair if the person on the bottom is dodging and I'm getting hit --ow ow ow---it hurts-- ow.

Okita: That's the moment we've been waiting for. In a narrow space, swinging that big weapon? God, you're stupid.

Nishi: D-Don't tell me you were planning this all along--!

Okita: GO!! ATTACK!!!!

Kagura: ACCK!!!!

Nishi: HAHAHAHAHAH LOOK WHO'S STUPID NOW!

Kagura: OH?!?!??!?! Take that!

Translation: Gintama 113

Mon, 06 Aug 2007 09:10:39 +0000

(for Urakai scans, here be Chapter 113!)

(scene shifts to the grandmother, currently with Otae-san, teaching her how to cook and be a proper wife and all that. But of course, we all know Otae-san can only make those...egg...like.....things.... )

Grandmother: ....Tae-san, what exactly is this?

Otae: Fried eggs.

Grandmother: ........

Otae: I've always been really talented with eggs! I think I've reached the limit, I don't think I can improve any further. But I've tried to listen to your suggestions, and wowwww, I can't believe I've invented such a thing! It's wonderful! My signature dishes have increased, but I'm still not very good with fish. I think we need more fire. Teach me more, Grandmother!

Grandmother: ARE YOU TRYING TO SET MY KITCHEN ON FIRE?!??!!??!????!?!?

Otae: Ah, well-said. Every kitchen holds a fiery place in a young wife's heart.

Grandmother: THIS IS BURNT! COMPLETELY BURNT!! IT'S A CORPSE! WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS, THE UNDERWORLD?!

Grandmother: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?!?!? YOU CAN'T COOK ONE DECENT DISH, SO DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT GETTING MARRIED INTO THE YAGYUU FAMILY!

Otae: You're here to teach me how to be a proper wife, but here you are, yelling and screaming at me, and even trying to attack me. That's not very nice.

Grandmother: OH GOD. THIS GIRL!!! SHE'S...SHE'S COMPLETELY IMMUNE TO ALL OF MY TACTICS!!!! SCARY! SCARY!! IF SHE'S MARRIED INTO THE YAGYUU FAMILY---!!!!!!!!

Grandmother: Koshinori-sama, I don't think this is going to work. We're going to have to do something more drastic.

Grandmother: Forget it. I've had it. Clean up this mess, but you can't throw anything away. You need to finish eating all of these so-called dishes. Perfect dogfood for a bitch like you.

Grandpapa: ...

Otae: Ah, Grandfather, this is supposedly dogfood.

Grandmother: AHH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!

Grandpapa: But we can't just throw it away. It's kind of a waste.

Grandmother: AS HEAD OF THE ENTIRE FAMILY, YOU CAN'T DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT! AND YOU CAN'T COME HERE! THIS IS WOMEN ONLY!!!!!

Grandpapa: Don't be so stubborn. It's hard to tell who's male and who's female once you're old. Right, Tae-kun?

Otae: I'm a woman, old man.

(scene shifts to Kyuu with Nishi, Ayu, Kita, Minami, annnd Gintoki + SHinpachi + Kondo + Hijikata + Okita + Kagura. In a courtyard)

Kyuu: Then let me explain the rules.

Kyuu: Since you guys are insisting on this, then we'll use OUR rules. That good?

Gintoki: Fine. Whatever.

Kyuu: These here are plates (note: these plates are all small saucers). Please tie them anywhere you want on your persons.

Kyuu: 6-on-6 battle. You may use the entire Yagyuu family compound. As long as you're within the confines of this estate, that's fine. Whichever team gets the opposite team leader's head, wins.

Kyuu: And by head, I mean plate. If your plate gets broken, you are out of the battle. And it doesn't matter how many plates you've broken on your team. As long as your team leader's plate remains unbroken, you can still fight. That's the only rule. You may fight however you like.

Hijikata: So basically, it doesn't matter if a bunch of people are all fighting one guy, or everyone's running away from a fight .This is no different from a street brawl. LIsten up! If this was a proper duel between dojos, you guys would have the advantage, but when it comes to simply an all-out brawl, we are not going to lose.

Kyuu: This is our Yagyuu style's annual practice match. It not only helps with morale, it also provides for good practice. I'm going to show you guys that a dojo's fighting style is not as easy and dumb as you might think. I'll break all of you and your naive notion that you, with your "real" experience, can somehow beat us.

Gintoki: Whatever. WE'RE NOT GOING TO LOSE IN A FIGHT.

Kondo: HEY WAIT A MINUTE, YOU SAID 6-ON-6. YOU GUYS ONLY HAVE FIVE!! LIARS!

Kagura: YEAH! CONDESCENDING!! I KNOW HOW TO COUNT, YOU LIARS!!

Kagura: ...Hey wait a minute, they only have 5. Isn't that good for us? What do we do?!

Kondo: ....Do we er, ....pretend that...we...didn't....realize that?

Kondo: I SAID NOTHING!!!!

Kyuu: Let me just warn you guys. Our team's leader isn't here. He's already hiding somewhere, waiting for you guys.

Gintoki: Then who is your---???

Ayu: We are under no obligation to tell you. You should be careful, if anything. Besides, we 5 alone will take care of all of you, so there's no need to tell who our team leader is anyway.

Gintoki/Kondo/Kagura: WHAT?!?!??!?!?!?

Kyuu: The fight starts in 20 minutes. Be sure to prepare well.

Kondo: SHUT UP! GIVE ME 10 MINUTES!

Kagura: WHO CARES! LET'S JUST KILL THEM!

(scene shifts over to Shinpachi-Kondo-and-co. team. Currently trying to come up with a strategy)

Kondo: THIS PISSES ME OFF!!!!!! I'M NOT HANDING OTAE-SAN OVER TO THAT ASSHOLE!

Hijikata: Er, she never was yours to begin with.

Kondo: I REALLY AM PISSED OFF!!!! LET'S JUST THROW OUR TEAM LEADER TO THE FRONT LINES!!

Kondo: LET'S JUST DO THAT! YEAH! EVEN IF WE DIE, IT'S OKAY!

Shinpachi: HOW IS THAT OK!?!??!? THAT'S MORE LIKE KO!!!!! Wait, then I'm the team's leader?!

Hijikata: Obviously. We're here supposedly as YOUR disciples, so there you go.

Shinpachi: But still, shouldn't we find someone who's er, stronger?

Kondo: DON'T WORRY, I'LL PROTECT YOU! BESIDES, WE HAVE LOTS TO TALK ABOUT! LIKE, SHOULD I STAY OVER AT YOUR HOUSE, OR SHOULD YOU GUYS STAY AT MY HOUSE OR---

Shinpachi: SORRY BUT PLEASE LOOK FOR SOMEONE ELSE ACK.

Okita: All of you be quiet. Where do you plan on tying your plates? Our standing in the game and the fight depends on it. And since Hijikata-san doesn't plan on losing, I'm going to tie his over his eye for him.

Hijikata: Do you WANT me to lose an eye?

Gintoki: Don't worry about the plate so much. If it's going to break, then it's going to break. Just tie it wherever.

Gintoki: Yosh. I'm going to tie mine over here.

Hijikata: WHY ARE YOU TYING YOURS ON ME?!?!??!?!?!? THAT'S YOUR PLATE, BASTARD!

Gintoki: There! Now your character design is as dashing as Kyuubei's!

Okita: Hijikata-san, you can do it!

Hijikata: BOTH OF YOU SADISTIC BASTARDS SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Kagura: Gin-chan! I've got a great idea! I'm going to tie mine under my feet, so that way, nobody would see it, because I'm walking! See?

Kagura: .....

Kagura: Oh no! My feet hurt. What'd I step on?

Gintoki: ARE YOU JOKING?!?!?!?!?!?! WHAT THE HELL!? THE FIGHT HASN'T EVEN STARTED AND WE'RE ALREADY ONE MAN SHORT!

Kondo: WHAT DO WE DO, WHAT DO WE DO?!??!?!

Shinpachi: The fight hasn't started yet, so we can get another plate, right?

Gintoki: Go get another plate, you!

Hijikata: Wait.

Hijikata: We don't know what the enemy's doing. If we go off by ourselves, it could get bad. Here. Kondo-san, you're responsible for our team leader, Shinpachi, the rest four of us will divide up into groups of two and head off in different directions to see where the enemies are.

Kagura: Then I'll go with Gin-chan. I don't want to be with corrupt cops D:

Hijikata: I don't want to be with any of you. Let's go then, Sougo----

Shinpachi: Hijikata-san, those two sadistic freaks have already left (referring to Okita and Gintoki already going off in different directions XD)

Hijikata: .............

(scene shifts over to Hijikata with Kagura XD They're at the kitchen area)

Hijikata: Sorry to trouble you, but think you can lend us a plate?

Kitchen lady: Eh~ I didn't realize that we had such a good-looking guy and such a cute girl here! Is there some kind of feast going on?

Hijikata: Yeah, sure.

Hijikata: Oi. Here you go.

Kagura: ...I don't want it. It's got a bit of soy sauce on it. Please give me another one.

Hijikata: Here. I'll use this dirty plate, and you can have mine, alright?

Kagura: I don't want to. Yours has mayonnaise on it.

Hijikata: NO, IT DOESNT!

Hijikata: DON'T BE SO STUBBORN! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO BROKE YOUR PLATE SO---

Kagura: Ah! I want that one!

Hijikata: HOW ARE YOU GOING TO FIGHT WHEN YOU'RE TIED DOWN WITH A GIANT PLATE LIKE THAT?!

Kitchen lady: I'm sorry, but this is a very valuable plate from another planet, so I don't think I can lend it to you....

Hijikata: See?

Kagura: I don't care! D: Get me that one, or I'll break your plate too, Mayo-lover!

Hijikata: Why you little bitch----

(the smoke signal for the start of the fight is lit!)

Hijikata: Oi, we don't have time to waste now---

Kagura: I guess I'll just use your plate then!

Hijikata: !!! HEY! Hold on! That's MY plate you've got there!!

Nishi: Ah, first one.

Kagura: !!

(scene shifts to Grandpapa and Otae-san)

Grandpapa: Ah, that's it. More. Deeper. DEEEEEPPPPPER.

Otae: Please don't sexually harass me.

Grandpapa: We're all men here~

Otae: ...I said I am a WOMAN, stupid old guy! Say that again, and I'll break you!

Grandpapa: Oh, so you're a woman. Then what is Kyuubei?

Otae: SHOULDN'T YOU KNOW YOUR OWN GRANDCHILD'S GENDER?!

Grandpapa: When you're old, it's okay to not remember. But I say, Tae-kun...

Otae: Tae-chan.

Grandpapa: I can't believe the little girl who used to play with our Kyuubei is now getting married into our family...Ahhhh deeper. Deeppppppeerrr.

Otae: If I go too deep, I might end up cleaning out something important!

Grandpapa: I think you've been through a lot. You doing okay?

Otae: Of course! I'm not going to give up. How else would I be your daughter-in law?

Grandpapa: Really? You are always smiling, Tae-kun. It's hard to tell what you're really thinking.

Grandpapa: maybe you don't really want to get married. Or do you like someone else?

Grandpapa: Just say it~ Are you hiding something---

Otae: NOTHING!

Grandpapa: Is that so? ...I've always thought that you would still hang onto what happened then....

Otae: ...

Grandpapa: In any case, both of you have my support. *leaves!*

Otae: ? Where are you going?

Grandpapa: Seems like there's trouble.

Grandpapa: I'm going over to take a look.

(scene shifts to the kitchen where currently, Nish, Minami, AND Kita are all fighting Kagura D:)

Kagura: OOF!

Nishi: Tch. I didn't get the plate. But---

Kita: Don't think you can run from us.

Minami: Gotcha~

Okita: Oi. The person who's allowed to beat up that girl, is me.

Minami: OOF OWWW.

Nishi: Mina---!!!!!

Kagura: ow ow ow....

Okita: Hijikata-san, what's up with that big plate of yours?

Hijikata: Let's just call this my one and only concession in this fight.

Translation: Gintama 112

Mon, 06 Aug 2007 09:04:46 +0000

(for Urakai scans!)

And oh dear god still attempting to put in the page numbers/breaks into the script @_@;;; T-taking longer than expected, doh. But I'll do that in the final/edited script version X_X;; *smacks self*

Chapter 112
(scene shifts to Kyuu and older Yagyuu, the father. Father = Koshinori. Koshi for short)

Koshi: I say, Kyuubei...I'm really disappointed in you. Three years ago, you left for your studies. I thought this meant you would help bring the Yagyuu back into glory, but instead, you came running back, and brought a girl with you!? You wanna marry her?

Koshi: What have you been doing these past 3 years? Looking for a wife?!

Kyuu: Forgive me for being direct, Father--

Koshi: BE QUIET! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO NOT CALL ME FATHER!

Koshi: CALL ME PAPA! OR DADDY!

Koshi: Kyuubei, we Yagyuu have always served under the generals of this country. I've told you many times that because of that, you need to be careful in everything you do. Also, we need to make sure to pass down the Yagyuu's pure bloodline. See I have a Persian cat here??? I don't like them, but they are pure.

Koshi: Otae-chan really is cute, but she's just a country dojo master's daughter. She's not fit to be married into the Yagyuu family. Do you want us to go extinct?! Do you---

Koshi: Ah, Papa-sama, you're back

Koshi: PAPA-SAMA?!?!??!? What are you doing with all that junk! I told you not to go collect those things!

Grandpapa: But this is kind of a sad waste if all of these get thrown out.

Koshi: IT'S NOT A QUESTION OF WASTE! WE'RE THE YAGYUU FAMILY! WE CAN'T DO THAT!!!

Grandpapa: It's okay. We'll keep these here. They'll be useful. Eventually.

Koshi: I don't think they'll ever be useful.

Grandpapa: See? You're always complaining about that one rag that always falls off the sink, right? Use this suction cup thing.

Koshi: THAT'S TOO BIG!!!

Grandpapa: And look at THIS! Didn't grandmother say something about wanting a scarf?

Koshi: WHAT KIND OF DEAD THING IS THAT?!

Kyuu: ....

Koshi: Ah, Kyuubei! Don't leave! I wasn't done talking---

Kyuu: Father. If you don't believe me, and what I've been doing these past three years, fight me, then you'll see what I mean. People can change for the better, if they really want to protect something. I couldn't protect someone, and that's why I went on that trip, Compared to you, Father, who protects something formless and useless like a family's glory....I think I would have the advantage.

Koshi: ....Papa wasn't talking about that. I was talking about how you should---

Kyuu: Father, just protect what Grandfather holds dear, and that's fine. I need to protect the people I care about. I swore to my left eye--

Koshi: that's NOT what I meant! I was saying ---

Guards: KOSHINORI-SAMA!!!

(scene shifts to Gintoki, Hijikata, Okita, Kagura, Shinpachi annnd Kondo fighting all the supporters of the Yagyuu dojo. And doing very well)

Supporters of Yagyuu: UWAHHHH!! WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?! TOO STRONG! TOO STRONG!!!

Gintoki: SHINPACHI! I'm going to deduct this from your paycheck! Running off and doing your own things?! TSK.

Kagura: YEAH! I can't believe you ran off and was doing something THIS fun!! You should've said something!

Kondo: YOU GUYS! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW SHINPACHI IS FEELING, AND YOU DARE TO SAY THAT?! Don't you know that Shinpachi didn't want to drag you into this?!

Gintoki: SHUT UP, GORILLA! I BET THIS WAS ALL YOUR IDEA!!!

Kondo: WE CAME HERE BECAUSE WE BELIEVED IN OURSELVES! WE KNEW THAT OTAE-SAN CAME HERE OUT OF HER OWN FREE WILL TOO. BUT! ALTHOUGH I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY OR HOW, BUT NEITHER OF US CAN AGREE TO SEE OFF OTAE-SAN CRYING LIKE THAT! Maybe she doesn't want to do this! Maybe she doesn't want other people to worry! SO WE'RE HERE! AND WE WANT TO SEE OTAE-SAN!

Kondo: This kind of fight has nothing to do with justice or whatever! So we would never drag you guys in! .... SO WHY ARE YOU TWO HERE?!?!?!?

Hijikata: Kondo-san. Don't worry. I came here out of my own free will too. I owe Yagyuu something, so I'm only here to pay them back double. Besides, today's my day off.

Okita: Kondo-san, I'm also here out of my own free will. If we let this continue, we'll have to call a gorilla our nee-san. So I decided to slack off and come here.

Kondo: YOU REALLY ARE SELF-INTERESTED!

Okita: Eh? But Kondo-san is also here slacking off---

Kondo: I CALLED IN MANY SICK DAYS FOR THIS!

Shinpachi: ...Gin-san. If you want to say that I love my sister too much, that's fine. I do love my sister very much. I don't want to leave her side. But...

Shinpachi: If she's going to leave with a man she truly loves. Whether that man is someone who's lazy and always late with paying rent, or a guy who looks like a gorilla and is a stalker, or a crazy mayo lov er, or a sadistic freak, or a madao, or a guy with hemorrhoids, as long as Aneue is happy, that's okay. I already know that. I'm prepared to cook red bean with rice for the rest of of my life. I don't care if I'll end up being a wuss who's crying about it, but still.

Shinpachi: If I have to see my sister cry like that, I can't just do nothing. I just want to see her always smiling. I guess that's siblings for you.

Kagura: Gin-chan, if anego really likes that midget, then aren't we being the bad guys?

Gintoki: Eh. We're used to doing that. And screwing things up.

Gintoki: Just remember though, Shinpachi. We're not here for justice or whatever. We're not here for your sister. We're your friends.

Hijikata: Let's get one thing straight. I'm not your friend. I just happen to be here.

Okita: Isn't that nice? He's pretending to be like that, so he can be your friend :O You should be careful of him :|

Kondo: Even though we're not really "friend" friends, but maybe with the 6 of us, we can take down the Yagyuu dojo. Right, brother?

Shinpachi: .....Who you calling brother?

(scene shifts to inside the Yagyuu family/dojo/compound, where a couple of guys are eating lunch. They are: kita oojiitsuki (kita), minami tosui (minami), nishi notsukamu (nishi), and toujyou ayumu (ayu) )

Minami : Did you hear? The head (referring to Kyuu) brought back a girl. She's there at grandmother's right now for special bridal training.

Minami: I've already had to comfort so many of the maids that got traumatized by that old wench. Oh, Kita, don't you think you're adding too much ketchup?

Kita: Didn't you know? Ketchup goes with everything.

Minami: I think it's disgusting. Quit adding so much of that stuff.

Kita: I think you're disgusting. You look like male genitals.

Minami: WHAT?!

Nishi: Stop it, you guys. You're being immature.

Minami: I DON'T WANT TO GET CRITICIZED BY SOME GUY WHO'S STILL EATING KIDS MEAL!

Nishi: SHUT UP, PENIS! YOUR FACE LOOKS LIKE A PENIS!

Minami: AHHHH!??!? WHICH PART, HUH!? WHICH PART?!?!?!?

Ayu: Be quiet, all of you. We're suppose to be eating. Why are we so hot-headed? But in any case, I'm glad the head has finally decided to marry. These three years have been good for you. We should let him choose whatever he wants to do, and we'll just follow and support him the best we can. Perhaps that's not exactly fair to the girl, but.....

Nishi: ...Yeah. I guess that's that girl's destiny.

Ayu: .... ....DAMN IT I'M PISSED OFF!!!!!!!

Nishi: Toujyou-san!?!??!

Ayu: THE YOLK!! THE YOLK!! I THOUGHT I SAID I WANTED FRESH EGGS!! THAT'S IT! I'M GOING TO THE SUPERMARKET!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Minami: Please calm down, Toujyou-san! It's just food!

Ayu: WHO CARES WHAT YOU THINK, YOU, WHOSE ENTIRE BODY LOOKS LIKE A PENIS!!!

Minami: WHAT?! Now my whole BODY is one?!?!?!?

Kagura: ......

Okita: Hey, eggs are falling off of you. What, is it that time of the month?

Hijikata: Yep. That was definitely Sougo at fault.

Okita: Ow! What's wrong with you------

Okita: !

Ayu: Ah, so you guys finally showed up. You think with the 6 of you, you can beat us? My, my. Such audacity.

Ayu: But enough games. Afterall, we are the ones charged specifically with protecting the Yagyuu family....

Kita: I'm Kita Oojitsuki

Minami: Minami Tosui.

Nishi: Nishi Notsukamu.

Ayu: And I'm Toujyou Ayumu. Since you've dared to challenge the Yagyuu top 4, don't expect to leave here alive.

Gintoki: Huh? We're not here to fight you guys. Where's your head?

Minami: You guys are just filthy trash. You can't just go in and see the head. You don't even have the right to challenge us. Throw away your weapons *grabs Okita and holding sword to Sougo's throat* Or he'll---

Minami, Ayu, Kita, Nishi: OI!!!!! WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?!?!?!?!?!?

Gintoki: You told us to throw the swords away.

Minami: WHAT KIND OF "THROWING IT AWAY" WAS THAT??!!??! DIDN'T YOU SEE WHO THE HOSTAGE IS?!

Hijikata: Sorry, but that guy isn't worth it, even as a hostage. Just kill him.

Kagura: AHAHAHAHHAHAA

Okita: BOTH OF YOU------!!!!!

Kita: Toujyou-san, let me get rid of them--

Kyuu: Stop it, all of you.

Kyuu: They are friends of my wife. Don't be so rude.

Kyuu: You guys are here. I can't believe you're this stubborn, Shinpachi.

Shinpachi: ...I'm not here as a younger brother. I'm here as the head master of the dojo. Shimura Tae is an important disciple, and so, if you're going to take her away from us, you should've came and "negotiated" with me.

Kyuu: ...Negotiate?

Kondo: You know kendo, and you know exactly what we're talking about. Samurais don't talk it over. We settle things with our swords.

Okita: Yep! You die and live by the sword! And so--

Hijikata: Even if it's a woman, you fight it out with your swords.

Kagura: COME ON AND FIGHT!

Kyuu: Fight? Hehe. My Yagyuu technique versus your country run-down dojo's style? Please. We already know who'd win that.

Gintoki: OF COURSE WE HAVE TO FIGHT~ Even though here in OUR dojo, we all hate each other, and want the next guy dead, and we don't know each other very well, but about fights, we are VERY knowledgeable.

Translation: Gintama 111

Wed, 18 Jul 2007 12:37:34 +0000

:D;;; annnd here's chapter 111 translation for Gintama /o/;; (Done for Urakai \o\;; )

I'll go back and add in page numbers for greater clarity, so um yeah o.o!!!!

Chapter 111

Shinpachi: We've fixed all we can, and if there are any more leaks, please be sure to let us know!

Shinpachi: Wow, we got paid a lot this time. I think I'll go buy some Haggan-Daz for Aneue. Haha, I must've been overthinking things. Why would Aneue bring home some stranger random guy home, right? That's just not possible and not like her. *walking along*

Otae: Hey, stop that--

Shinpachi: *passes by the section of the restaurant where Otae and Kyuu are, and sees them kissing OH DEAR GOD*

Otae: I SAID STOP IT! *pushes Kyuu away* What--what do you think you're doing??!

Shinpachi + Otae + Kyuu, all just staring at each other : ..................................

(scene shifts to Gorilla princess, Gintoki, Kagura, annnd Kondo. Gorilla has a giant bump on her head XD)

Kondo: PRINCESS! ARE YOU OKAY!??!?!?!?

Kondo:*thinking* SHIT SHIT!!!! She must be really pissed! And I can't believe I...that...in my pants!

Gintoki: OIIIII. What are you doing here, anyway?

Kondo: *thinking* And I can't believe THESE people are here too!

Kagura: Don't tell me you got so desperate, you're going out with a real gorilla?

Gintoki: Hey, that's too mean. Jokes should have a limit too. I bet that's his brother.

Kondo: *thinking* I MUST NOT ADMIT THAT I'M GETTING SET UP WITH A GORILLA, AND THAT...MY...THAT...AND MY PANTS!

Kondo: O--Oi! Don't joke like that! She's um...She's my pet!

Gintoki: Pet? Really? That big one!?

Kondo: Um, see. She was looking at me really sadly from the shop window, so I bought her. *thinking* OH GOD. I'M SO SORRY, PRINCESS. BUT THIS IS WHERE OUR LANGUAGE BARRIER IS A GOOD THING

Kagura: *jumps onto the gorilla and trying to force feed it something XD* Awww~ Come on! Eat this!

Kondo: HEY! DON'T JUST RANDOMLY TRY TO FEED HER!

Kagura: :O These are red beans! :O

Kondo: WHAT ARE YOU FEEDING TO PRINCESS?!??!

Gintoki: WHat do you mean, Princess?!

Kondo: HUH?! NO! THAT'S ER, THAT'S HER NAME! PRINCESS!

Kondo: In any case, she's clearly very full. Look! She's spitting it all out! Stop feeding her plea---

Gintoki: *SMACKS THE GORILLA XD* HOW DARE YOU WASTE FOOD!

Kondo: HEY! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?

Kondo: COME ON! Stop fooling around, you two!

Kagura: Man, she's spoiled :x

Kondo: OKAY OKAY, I GET IT! I'LL GO HOME AND DISCIPLINE HER! NOW BOTH OF YOU LEAVE!

Kondo: *thinking* Oh no. If we stay here any longer, who knows what the princess would do! *at Gintoki and Kagura* Okay, we were going for a walk, so we have to go now----!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gintoki: Eh? What's that?

Kagura: Ah, shit :O (note: ...literally XD;;;;;;;;;;)

Kondo: ..........DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDX!!!! *thinking* OH NO! THESE STYLES OF KIMONOS...THEY'RE LOOSE AND SO--- IT FELL OUT!!!

Gintoki: Um, I think it fell out of your pants.

Kagura: You even kicked it a bit.

Kondo: ER....PRINCESS!!! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO NOT JUST RANDOMLY DO YOUR BUSINESS ANYWHERE AND EVERYWHERE! *throws the gorilla XD*

Kondo: Gah, what am I going to do about this. She does this all the time, you know.

Gintoki: No, it fell out of YOUR pants.

Kondo: OI! Sakata! How dare you say that ! I'm a man of almost 30 years of age!

Kagura: But look :O There's a trail of it behind you :O

Kondo: !!! UM, UM. You misunderstood! These are left over crackers, and we're just, um, laying them down as markers so we won't get lost.

Gintoki: I think you're already lost in the maze that is known as life.

Gorilla: RAWWWWWRRRRR

(scene shifts to Shinpachi, Otae and Kyuu)

Otae: Ah, Shin-chan! Um, please, let me explain....Um, this is...um...

Shinpachi: ......WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU TWO ARE DOING?!?!?!?!?!??!

Shinpachi: YOU BASTARD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY SISTER?!?! *grabs Kyuu by the collar*

Otae: SHIN-CHAN!

Kyuu: Oh, YOU're Shinpachi? I see you're still clinging to your sister.

Kyuu: *throws Shinpachi across the room* You should learn to be more independent.

Otae: SHIN CHAN!

Kyuu: It's time to leave. Look at yourself. Because you're in that sorry state, your sister's afraid to leave.

Shinpachi: !!! Why you---

Shinpachi: ...You're Kyuubei---- You're Yagyuu Kyuubei! You just show up randomly, and then say some weird stuff about leaving?! What are you babbling about!?!??

Kyuu: That's exactly what I'm saying.

Kyuu: You didn't know? Tae-chan and I already made a promise when we were kids, that we are going to get married. She's my fiancee, and I'm going to bring her home today.

Shinpachi: WHAT?!?!?!?

Kyuu: You don't understand. She never belonged to you. She belongs with me. And you have no business to interfere.

Shinpachi: He's lying! Babbling about childhood promises--- Hey! Say something, aneue!

Shinpachi: ...Aneue....? (Otae is looking really really sad D: )

Shinpachi: ANEUE! WHY ARE YOU NOT SAYING ANYTHING?!

Otae: Shin-chan. I'm sorry...I....

Shinpachi: ANEUE!! WHY--- ANEUE!!

(ANNNND A LOUD BOOM XD Gorilla, Kondo, Gintoki, and Kagura crashes into the room XD)

Kondo: OH GOD IT HURTS.

Gintoki: HEY! Do something!! I THOUGHT SHE WAS YOUR PET.

Kondo: Nono!! SHe's actually a princess!! X____X!!!

Kondo/Gintoki/Kagura: Eh!? Otae-san!?

Gintoki: Are we interrupting?

Otae: .....Everyone..... Good bye. ((....and she's crying and leaving D: ))

Kondo + Kagura + Gintoki: .......................??!?!?!?!?!

Gintoki: Oi. *grabs Otae by the shoulder but OOPS, ANGRY GORILLA IS ON THE LOOSE AGAIN*

Kondo: SHIT! PRINCESS IS COMING OVER! Everybody, apologize to her first!!!!

Kyuu: *carries Otae off!*

Shinpachi: ANEUE!!!!

Kondo: NONO!! YOU SAY UWAH! NOT ANEUE!!!

(scene shifts to Shinsengumi headquarters, with Okita and Hijikata)

Hijikata: Haa~~ Dammit, and this was a new sword too. (it has a slight crack, due to him blocking Kyuu's attack)

Okita: You lost, didn't you, Hijikata-san?

Hijikata: I didn't lose. There's just a slight crack.

Okita: Was it because of that guy at the Yoruzuya? You must've lost. Yep.

Hijikata: I didn't lose. As long as I say I didn't lose, I didn't lose.

Okita: Wow, as expected of the great Hijikata-san. He lost, and he's still this stubborn. I'm so envious of your shamelessness.

Hijikata: Since this sword is kinda useless right now, I might as well use it to chop of your head. How's that.

Okita: Hijikata-san, I think if if that guy was actually serious, we would've been in some serious trouble. That guy...he's called Yagyuu something.

Okita: The Yagyuu family is a family of generals and military leaders. But ever since the Amanto's arrival, Kendo's been dwindling. Yet a lot of people still join up with their dojo to learn their technique. Yagyuu Kyuubei is the next family leader, and although he's short and looks like a kid, he's actually very fast on his feet, and they call him the strongest thus far in the family.

Okita: But for those who only study within the confines of the dojo, compared to us, we should have the advantage, seeing as how we fight real battles. But guess we country folk are just not as good as them~~

Hijikata: *TWWWWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH XDDDD*

Okita: But in any case, I guess in both kendo and in love.... if he is indeed Otae-san's fiance, then I guess Kondo-san's pretty much beat.

Hijikata: Sougo, don't underestimate Kondo. I'm sure he'll be fine. I've always admired how he's always gung-ho, and makes sure that whatever he does, he'll succeed.

Okita: ...But what if he really succeeds? What if we have to call that Gorilla our nee-san????

(scene shifts to two men in the rain, standing outside a dojo, then shifts again to the Yoruzuya)

Gintoki: Shinpachi didn't show up again today. Geez, I should just fire him.

Kagura: Gin-chan, is it true that anego (affectionate term for "sister"; Kagura uses it to refer to Otae-san) isn't coming back? She sent a letter saying something about she's not coming back and she has bridal lessons...

Gintoki: Yeah. If you're going to get married off to a family like Yagyuu's, you have to learn a lot of things. Eh well. Although I have no clue what the hell's going on, if it's a promise, then it's a promise. Besides, now their dojo's saved.

Kagura: Gin-chan...My mommy once said that you would only smile when you first get married. Not many people can keep smiling. But if you can, then you've had a good life. But....Anego...can she really keep smiling...? *thinking back to how Otae's crying and saying good bye to all of them*

Kagura: I think she's hiding something! She must! It's my intuition!

Gintoki: Idiot. Anyone can tell she's hiding something. You don't need intuition for that. But still, it's clear that it's her own choice.

Gintoki: So of course she would keep smiling and--- *thinks back also to when Otae was crying and saying good-bye* ....TCH.

Gintoki: Dammit, why'd you let us see you off like that?

(scene shifts to outside the dojo aka Yagyuu's house)

Random guards: HEY. Who the hell are you? You wanna join up with our dojo? Sorry. This is the Yagyuu's private home. We're damn famous people, so if you want to join, you can't just be small-fries.

Random guards: Or are you guys here to make trouble (here taken to mean overthrowing the Yagyuu dojo; a challenge, duel, etc from one dojo to another. Big serious stuff D: ), and trying to take down the dojo? You better not, we're the Yagyuu---

Shinpachi and Kondo: Ehhhhh? What do you mean, we're here to make trouble??? >:DDDDDDDDD *KICKS THE GUARDS DOWN XD*

A whole load of people, supporters/students of the Yagyuu family: ENEMY!! WHO ARE THEY!? HOW DARE THEY!!!!

Shinpachi: I AM TENDOU MUSHINRYUU (note: The "ryuu" here is taken to mean like, one dojo's style/technique. A pun/joke is based on this later, so XD;) DOJO'S MASTER! SHIMURA SHINPACHI!

Kondo: AND I'M HIS DISCIPLE GORILLA ISAO!

Kondo and Shinpachi: WE'RE HERE TO CHALLENGE THE SO-CALLED NUMBER ONE YAGYUU DOJO! .......Even though we're really not that interested in actually doing that and that's not exactly why we're here....buuuuuuuutt.......

Shinpachi: GIVE ME BACK MY SISTER! >O *kicks down a bunch of people*

Kondo: GIVE US BACK OTAE-SAN!!!!

Random supporters/students of the Yagyuu dojo: ASSHOLES! TAKE THEM DOWN! >O

(and a bunch of people just made an entrance!)

Everyone: !!!!

Supporters of the Yagyuu dojo: NOW WHO THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS?!

Gintoki: Sorry. Not just the two of them.

Gintoki: Shinpachi, just for today, we're also your disciple. >| ((Kagura, Okita, Hijikata are also here))

Hijikata: Then what are we, the Natural-Perm-Ryuu dojo?

Shinpachi: Gin-san! Kagura-chan! O_O!!!!

Kondo: YOU GUYS?!?!?!?!

Translation: Gintama 110

Mon, 16 Jul 2007 08:16:32 +0000

:D;;;;; Hi, er, first-time poster here, and got referred over to post some of my translation work XD; So here's chapter 110 from Gintama. Please let me know if I'm doing something wrong??? oh dear lord---

Er, also, I originally posted this in my LJ, so that might explain some of the extra notes I've made, since this was originally done for people without any raws and stuff XD;;;

chapter 110

(scene opens where Otae-san works bar/host club/you get the idea)

Women who work there: Welcome!

Women: Ah!

Women: Wahhhh~~~! It's Hijikata-san! It's Hijikata-san!

Random woman A: It's not Kondo that's visiting today! It's Hijikata-san!

Random woman B: Hijikata-san~~! Please be sure to request me!

Waiter/Emcee/Receptionist person: ....Hijikata-san, which lady would you like?

Hijikata: ...............

Otae: So, why are you here? I thought Kondo had finally learned some manners, but now it's you who's visiting?

Otae: Shinsengumi must lead a comfortable life! Using tax-payers' money and coming to places like this, hmm?

Hijikata: It's not because I want to be here.

Otae: Oh yeah. Does Kondo-san know about this?

Hijikata: About what?

Otae: About us. And our relationship.

Hijikata: .....what relationship?!

Otae: I can see how being so popular is a problem. The superior and his subordinate are fighting for the same woman. This is like a soap opera.

Hijikata: Oi. Don't make up weird stories like that. I'm only here to--

Otae: But I'm not THOSE kind of women! If this relationship won't pan out like Monday night dramas, I am going to refuse!

Hijikata: You misunderstood why I came here.

Otae: *completely ignores and keeps going on about dramas XD* But looking at your face...You seem more like a Sunday night drama kind of guy. Or maybe Saturday night mayonnaise detective.

Hijikata: Who you calling a mayonnaise detective?!

Hijikata: Look, in any case, what about Kondo-san? Is he a Monday night drama kinda face, or "I've-proposed-too-many-times" kind of face?

Otae: I think he's more of a Tuesday night crime drama corpse.

Otae: *FINALLY GETS IT* ..Hijikata-san, don't tell me you're here for Kondo-san's sake...

All of Shinsengumi (minus Okita and Kondo), lead by Yamazaki: OTAE SAN!!!! PLEASE MARRY OUR COMMANDER AND BE OUR NEE-SAN!

Otae: Ehhh? Are you guys threatening me?

Hijikata: ........Well, actually. Lately, people have been meaning to set Kondo-san up for marriage.

Hijikata: He's really close to 30, and the Bakufu wants him to think about his future, so they're encouraging ((note: more like setting him up - an arranged marriage)) him to get married. And not to mention, since you're always rejecting him, he's getting really desperate. It's gotten to the point where as long as it's a woman, that's fine with him.

Otae: Is that so? Then that's great! He won't come and stalk me! And this way Kondo-san will have a loving wife too. Everyone would be happy!

Hijikata: *shows her a photo* Oh yeah. I'm sure. The woman (referring to the one that the bakufu had in mind for Kondo) is after all, the Gorilla Planet's Princess Barbaruth. Quite a match. (note: THIS IS AN ACTUAL GORILLA XDDDDDD)

Otae: Wow! They look so alike! What a match! A match made in heaven!

Yamazaki: NEESAN! PLEASE TAKE A CLOSER LOOK! THERE ARE VERY SLIGHT DIFFERENCES BETWEEN HER AND KONDO-SAN! SHE IS ACTUALLY A GORILLA!!!

Yamazaki: Please, Nee-san! Do something! Otherwise, we're going to end up calling that freak "neesan" for the rest of our lives! ONLY YOU CAN STOP THIS D:!

Otae: Don't worry so much! They say that hairy women are very emotional and sensitive. I'm sure she'll make a good wife.

Yamazaki: SHE'S NOT JUST A LITTLE HAIRY! SHE'S VERY VERY HAIRY!

Yamazaki: *bowing now XD* Everything you've said is correct, Nee-san! But we don't want you to necessarily marry Kondo-san, just talk to him! We're begging you now. PLEASE. Someone like Nee-san would surely understand how heavy-hearted we feel about all this----

Otae: *picks up Yamazaki by his head XDDDD* Heavy? You said heavy?

Otae: *throws Yamazaki XD* I THINK YOUR BRAINS ARE FILLED WITH LEFT OVER TOFU >O

Otae: GOD YOU GUYS ARE ANNOYING!

Club owner: Otae-san! That's the wrong approach! That'll only encourage the stalkers!!!!

Hijikata: *while Shinsengumi is getting beaten up by Otae-san, he's on the cellphone with Kondo XDDDDD* Oi, Kondo-san. I don't think this plan will work. You're just gonna have to tough it out.

Hijikata: *still on the phone* Wait what? Women saying no actually means yes? Nono, I think this is a definite no on her part. Oh, by the way, next time, don't tell me to run your errands for you.

((annnnd mystery person shows up! This is Yagyuu Kyuubei, btw. I'll call them Kyuu for short since lolz long name is long))

Shinsengumi: *surprised at this sudden entrance!* !!!!

Shinsengumi: Who're you!?

Kyuu: All you men targeting a single woman? Isn't that too much? What kind of samurais are you?

Shinsengumi: WAIT WHAT?! IF ANYTHING, IT'S MORE LIKE OTAE-SAN IS BEATING US UP! And we're definitely samurais!

Kyuu: You guys can't lay a hand on her. She's very important to me.

Shinsengumi: *PISSED* WHAT?! FOR A SHORTIE, YOU SURE TALK BIG!

Hijikata: Shut up. Come on, let's go. No point in us staying here. Oh, and kid (referring to Kyuu), are you even legal? Get outta here.

Kyuu: What did you just call me?

Kyuu: I'm not---

Kyuu: *tries to attack Hijikata, but Hijikata barely manages to block at the last minute* a kid.

Hijikata: *TWITCH*

Kyuu: I'm Yagyuu Kyuubei.

Otae: Eh? Kyuu-chan?!

(scene shifts to Gintoki, Shinpachi and Kagura, currently fixing up a roof)

Gintoki: Eh? Your sister didn't come home until this morning?

Shinpachi: Yeah. Because of her work, she always comes up the next morning. But she came home later than usual today. And she didn't even say hi. Just changed her clothes, and left again.

Gintoki: Shinpachi, at this point, just go cook your own red bean rice quietly. (I'm assuming this is some sort of a slang or custom? Basically it means like, telling Shinpachi to like, take care of himself since his sister is probably going to be married off or something XD )

Shinpachi: DON'T SAY STUFF LIKE THAT!

Shinpachi: Before she's actually married, I'm not going to do that! I'll get slapped, anyway! She doesn't even have anyone in mind right now for marriage! SHE'S GOING TO KILL ME IF I DO THAT!

Shinapchi: I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT. NOPE. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

Gintoki: You really love your sister a little too much, Shinpachi. You know, legally, you're not supposed to get married to your sister. She can finally get rid of you as a burden and enter the real world where women belong!

Gintoki: THEN AS HER BROTHER, YOU WILL NEED TO COOK RED BEAN WITH RICE. ...And do it while crying!

Kagura: GIN-CHAN! When I grow up, will I be able to eat red bean with rice?!

Gintoki: You can only eat red bean bread.

Gintoki: OKAY! Lunch time!

Kagura: ;____; It's red bean bread again! We've been eating that for that past 2,3 days! D:

Shinpachi: *semi-sniffling* Dammit ;__; who's---IS ANEUE REALLY---?!?!?

Shinpachi: *looks down and sees Kondo!* EH?! KONDO-SAN?! ...DON'T TELL ME---HE'S GOING TO---BE WITH THAT GORILLA? (Gintoki and co. are repairing a roof of an important restaurant some kind, and so yeah XD)

Kondo: Hmm?

Police chief (gah, sorry. I can't remember/find his name, but he doesn't show up here much): Kondo, what are you doing?

Kondo: Hmm? Oh, er, nothing. I just thought someone called out my name.

Police chief: Oi, be strong, you. Are you nervous? But I guess that can't be helped. This is your first time being set up like this, right?

Police chief: Actually, I met my wife through an arranged marriage as well. God I was nervous. But she was prettier than her picture, so I was really happy.

Police chief: So pictures are not reliable, Kondo. I know in her picture, she looks like a gorilla. But her facial structure is just different LIKE a gorilla's, that's all.

Kondo: You say "like" a gorilla. It IS a gorilla. I think she IS a gorilla!

Police chief: Nono, she's probably just nervous, and so was kind of panting while they took the picture---

Kondo: PANTING BECAUSE SHE'S NERVOUS?! THAT'S TOO MUCH! WHY'S SHE SO HAIRY!? HOW CAN SOMEONE PANT LIKE THAT?!

Police Chief (PC for short) : Kondo, I'll be honest with you. This is an important political marriage. Earth and the Gorilla Planet can never get along, so we'll need you to solve this.

PC: It all depends on you, Kondo. You hold Earth's fate in your hands. I arranged for us to meet at this fancy restaurant, so don't screw it up.

Kondo: You might say that, but..... ....>.> That's a gorilla.

PC: And that's why I say you shouldn't care so much about the picture! I bet she's three times more beautiful than you can ever imagine. Now come on, let's go.

(..........ANNNND THEY COME FACE TO FACE WITH A GIANT FEMALE GORILLA IN A KIMONO XDDDDDD)

Kondo: I THINK THIS IS MORE LIKE SHE'S 3 TIMES BIGGER THAN I CAN EVER IMAGINE!

(Otae and Kyuu pass by Kondo + gorilla, heading toward another part of the restaurant)

Otae: ...?

Kyuu: What's wrong, Tae-chan?

Otae: Nothing. I thought I just saw a gorilla just now.

Kyuu: You're saying silly things again. You're still that interesting.

(scene shifts back to Kondo + Gorilla princess XD )

Kondo: ...so...er...princess Barbaruth! What kind of um, hobbies do you have...????

Gorilla: UWAH!

Kondo: ...OH! That's um...that's great! That's just as fun as um...PSHU PSHU or DON DON, huh? ....But er...if you...um, over...do it? It'll be bad for your shoulder! Oh..Um...or maybe you're saying it doesn't hurt your shoulder???? .....SO HOW ABOUT SOME VEGETABLES????

Kondo: *thinking* CRAP. I don't understand a word she's saying!

Kondo: *thinking* ...Does she even understand what I'm saying?! Am I overthinking things? She's starting to look pissed.

Kondo: *thinking* I can't tell if she's getting angry, or....???? SHIT. IF THIS CONTINUES, EARTH IS GOING TO GET DESTROYED. Oh no! I'm too nervous, and now I really have to go crap!

Kondo: *thinking* WHAT DO I DO, WHAT DO I DO?!??! How can I do this without being completely undiplomatic?!?!?!? Ah, I know! I'll ALSO say UWAH! Maybe with a hand gesture too? That'll be fine, right???????

Kondo: um, UWAH! *POINTS OUTSIDE* Translation into Gorilla language: Want to go on a walk with me? ((ohhhh, poor Kondo-san))

Kondo: EH!?!? WHY'S SHE FOLLOWING ME OUTSIDE?!?!? OH NO! THIS IS BAD!

(scene shifts to Kyuu and Otae)

Otae: It really has been a long time. I heard from your grandfather that you went on a trip to become a samurai. I didn't think you would come back. You should've told me sooner.

Kyuu: Nobody knows I'm back yet. I came straight for you.

Otae: um....

Kyuu: I really wanted to see you.

Kyuu: *CLINGS to Otae*

Otae: H-Hey!

Kyuu: Do you remember that promise back then? I kept my end of the promise, and I became stronger, and came back. Now it's your turn, Tae-chan.

(scene shifts outside in the restaurant's courtyard, and the gorilla princess has been knocked out by a large brick XD)

Kondo: PRINCESS!!! WHAT'S GOING ON??!??! WHY ARE BRICKS FALLING?!???!?!?

Gintoki: Ah, sorry. My hand slipped.

Kagura: OH! There are TWO gorillas! :O

Kondo: SHIT! ((.....and he kinda...er........crapped in his pants. OTL))

(scene shifts back to Otae and Kyuu, and Kyuu just kissed Otae)