Bakuman
40
Page 40: Floating, Sinking and the Sea
-> RTS Page for Bakuman 40
**For Akatsuki Group use only. Thanks!
Edited by c_k
Page 40: Floating, Sinking and the Sea
P2
<ring>
<ring>
Insert: Who will save Azuki from her desperation and struggles?
Saiko: Why won’t she pick up the phone…?
--
<beep>
--
Azuki…
--
<beep // beep / beep>
--
Saiko: Do you know Azuki’s address?
Miyoshi: Huh!? Her address…? I do know it, but I have to hang up the phone to check… I’ll call you back.
P3
Saiko: Hachiouji-City Motohon…
--
Miyoshi: Mashiro asked me for Miho’s address…
Takagi: Her address?! Why?
--
Miyoshi: I don’t know! He first asked me for her phone number and now I’m concerned…
--
Takagi: What are you trying to do, Saiko…?
P4
Takagi: What the hell? Are you ditching work to go on a date?
--
Takagi: The schedule is very tight starting the fourth chapter! / What happened to your promise of only seeing her when your dreams come true?
--
Saiko: Azuki is in trouble and she can’t even tell Miyoshi about it… // I have to go…
--
Saiko: I’ll stay up all night to finish the manuscript!
Takagi: Don’t be ridiculous! / It’ll take you four hours roundtrip to go to her house! You won’t finish your manuscripts before the assistants come in tomorrow!
P5
Saiko: She won’t even answer the phone! // Move!!
Takagi: Wait, just calm down a sec! // Something must have happened if she isn’t answering her phone! Tell me what’s going on!
Saiko: I don’t know what happened, so I’m going to go see her! You and Miyoshi are always together, but we’re not, so you don’t understand what we’re going through!!
--
Takagi: Saiko!!
--
Miyoshi: You guys will make the deadline, right?
Takagi: Even if we do, the quality will definitely be poor… shit…
--
Takagi: Did you try calling Azuki!?
Miyoshi: Uh…oh, I’ll try now.
P7
Miyoshi: It’s ringing but she’s not picking up…
Takagi: She might think you’re with Saiko and he’s making you call her. // But why isn’t she picking up Saiko’s call? I don’t get it…
--
Takagi: Can you try calling Azuki’s home phone?
Miyoshi: I could, but her mom would pick up.
--
Takagi: I’ll call.
Miyoshi: Huh? Wha…
--
<ring>
<ring>
P8
Takagi: Hi, this is Takagi. I was Miho-san’s classmate in junior high. Is Miho-san home?
Mom: Oh, long time no speak! Miho is in her room.
--
Takagi: She won’t pick up her cell phone when we try calling her. Is it possible to put her on the phone?
--
Mom: Miho, I’m coming in.
--
<click>
--
Mom: It’s a call from Takagi-kun.
Azuki: Takagi-kun!? He must be with Mashiro-kun…
P9
Mom: If you don’t want to talk to him, tell him yourself! / Takagi-kun, I’m passing the phone over to Miho.
Takagi: Oh, thanks…
--
Takagi: Azuki-san, Saiko is heading to your house!
--
Takagi: He left all the work he has to do behind to go see you! Are you okay with that!? If you are, I’ve lost all respect for you!
Miyoshi: Takagi…
--
Azuki: I’m sorry Takagi-kun! I’m hanging up!
Takagi: HUH? Don’t screw around! You’re dragging Saiko… You’re dragging us behind schedule! Tell me what’s going on!
P10
Azuki: I’m sorry! / I have to hang up because I have to call Mashiro-kun!
Takagi: Okay… Fine, bye. <click>
--
<ring>
--
Saiko: This number... is Azuki's!
--
Saiko: Azuki-san, are you okay?
Azuki: I’m sorry!
--
Azuki: Go home and finish your manga! // Takagi-kun called my house… I’m sorry I troubled you all!
P11
Azuki: I didn’t pick up the phone because I didn’t want you to hear my voice when I’m unhappy… // But if you can’t draw manga because of me… That’s even worse! / So go home and draw!
--
Saiko: But you’re struggling with your decision to do the photo collection, aren’t you?
Azuki: Yes.
--
Saiko: Then we should talk about it.
Azuki: Mashiro-kun, just tell me one thing.
Saiko: Ok? What?
--
Azuki: If I released a photo collection that has nothing to do with my success of becoming a voice actress / would you be happy? / Or not?
--
Saiko: I wouldn’t be happy! // I would want to see your photo collection but I don’t want other people to see it! I want it all to myself!!
--
Azuki: Mashiro-kun…
P12
Azuki: Thank you for answering… I won’t do it. I didn’t want to do it anyway…
Saiko: Bu… But…
--
Azuki: I'd think about doing it if I became a popular voice actress, but releasing one now doesn’t seem right. // I was looking at the literary collection from grade school graduation… / I wrote my future dream is to become a voice actress.
--
Azuki: When I found out voice acting was a profession, I decided to become one right away. / I didn’t want to be a celebrity or release a photo collection. / I want to fulfill to that dream.
Saiko: I feel the same way. // When I was young, my dream was to become a mangaka and I drew all the time. / But when I learned the reality of it all… I gave up.
Azuki: The reality?
--
Saiko: Yeah, the reality… Someone I knew died after working too hard to become a popular mangaka… // There are going to be times when you learn more about the world you’re entering and you feel defeated when you see the gap between the fantasy and reality…
Azuki: Yeah.
P13
Saiko: But that’s something we’ll all face. The people that face those obstacles and overcome them are the people whose dreams come true.
--
Azuki: Yeah, you’re right… / Okay. / I’ll take it step by step from the beginning. / I was able to gather my thought by talking to you and I’m feeling better. So go home and draw your manga!
--
Azuki: Thank you…
Saiko: I’m glad…
--
Azuki: I’ll tell you everything from now on, even if I cry… I’m sorry I’m so stubborn…
Saiko: Great! You’re the one that said we should work together and cheer each other up. But if you don’t tell me anything, I can’t cheer you up!
Azuki: Yeah. // Mashiro-kun…
--
Azuki: Let’s go to the beach together one day / and take lots of pictures!
--
Saiko: Azuki…
--
Saiko: We should definitely go. It’ll be another promise of ours for when our dreams come true.
Azuki: Okay, I’ll make us lunch.
Saiko: Okay, that’s a promise too.
P14
Saiko: We’ll go to the beach together / and take lots of pictures // and your hand-made lunch. / We have so many dreams.
Azuki: But…
Saiko: What?
--
Asuki: Our dreams won’t come true just by talking about them.
--
Saiko: I know! I’m going home to finish the manuscripts.
Azuki: Good luck! I’ll work hard too.
Miyoshi: Mashiro!!
Takagi: Saiko!
Azuki: I hear Kaya’s voice…
--
Azuki: I’ll apologize to Takagi-kun later.
Saiko: I have to apologize to him too.
--
Saiko: Sorry! / Azuki-san says sorry too.
Miyoshi: You guys shouldn’t make us worry so much!
Takagi: I can’t get mad at you if you apologize to me so quickly! // Anyway, just go home and work!
Saiko: Okay!
P15
March 4th: Chapter 4 was completed on time and today is the deadline for Chapter 5
--
Miura: OK, good! / Let’s talk about the next chapter.
<tap tap>
Takagi: Can you tell us what the final results for chapter 2 were?
--
Miura: Don’t worry! You guys were 8th for chapter 2!
Takagi: We were still 8th…
--
Miura: What, you’re unsatisfied!? I thought you guys were worried about ending up in the double digits.
--
Takagi: It’s not that we’re unsatisfied… // Can you tell us the results for the first chapter of Ibaraki-sense’s “Plus Beta,” “Otter” and “Okaki” too…? / And the results for “CROW” too?
--
Miura: “Plus Beta” was 5th, “CROW” was 3rd, “Otter” was 6th, “Okaki” was 12th. / Even though “Okaki” was 12th, they won’t discontinue the series yet, so you guys should be alright.
Chart:
CROW
Plus Beta
Otter
TRAP
Okaki
P16
Okaki: 9th 12th
TRAP: 8th 1? th
Takagi: If the second chapter of “Okaki” was 9th and our second chapter was 8th, then our 3rd chapter might be in the double-digits…
Miura: I think you guys should be fine. Even if you’re in the double-digits, you’ll be fine as long as you’re not 18th or 19th!
--
Miura: I’m always telling you guys to be more confident.
Takagi: You’re having a series meeting on the 19th, right after you get the 3rd chapter early reports, right?
--
Miura: I told you that even if you guys are last place in the early reports, the series won’t be cancelled!
Takagi: Are you sure?
--
Miura: I’m not 100% sure but I’m 99% sure!
Takagi: If you’re not 100% sure, you’re not sure!
Miura: There's nothing that's absolute in the world!
--
Saiko: You said that no matter how bad “Plus Beta” was in the early reports for chapter 2, their series won’t get cancelled in the upcoming meeting, right?
Miura: That’s the rule!
--
Saiko: Doesn’t that mean if they choose 4 new series again, we’re in trouble if we’re 15th?
Miura: Come on guys! / “TRAP” is going to be fine! Let’s talk about the next chapter!
P17
March 8th Tuesday
--
Miura: The early report!
--
Miura: ”TRAP” chapter 3… 9th! // I knew it would be in the single-digits…
--
Miura: Their series won’t be cancelled. It's 100% guaranteed!
--
Aida: Looks like “TRAP” will continue on. All these high school mangakas are pretty impressive.
Miura: Yes, I’m so glad. But Niizuma-kun is graduating soon.
Hattori: He’s glad even though it’s in 9th…
P18
March 9th Wednesday
Takagi: Can you look at the name for chapter 7?
--
Saiko: I’m starting to think if you can change it, we should.
Takagi: What!?
--
Saiko: If we use this chapter 7 name, it’ll take at least 3 chapters to solve this mystery. / Even if our series isn’t cancelled in tomorrow's meeting, we don’t know how chapters 4 through 6 will do… // In case we don’t do so well, starting a story that will needs 3 or 4 chapters to solve might get out of hand.
Takagi: …
P19
Takagi: But Miura-san said we should keep doing what we’re doing until we release a comic book. / And if the book sells a lot, we’ll be okay…
Saiko: A comic book won’t be released for 4 more months. If we start ranking 10th or lower, our comic book sales won’t necessarily be good either.
Takahama: I agree.
--
Takahama: I don’t think you should take Miura-san’s word to heart.
--
Takahama: When I ended up only as a final candidate in the Tezuka Awards, Miura-san picked up my manga to work on… / And I don’t want to speak badly of someone who picked up my manga but…
--
Takahama: All 3 of my manuscripts that Miura-san said were great didn’t even end up in any of the monthly competitions.
P20
Takahama: He has very little experience and he’s a little too optimistic. // That's why I think you should do your manga the way you want it to be.
--
Takagi: But it would be problematic if we complete something that’s entirely different from what we discussed…
--
Takagi: Plus, considering all the editing we have to do, we don’t have the time to draw something else.
Saiko: The 10th chapter where TRAP is the one that gets tricked and almost gets killed… / I think that’s a great one.
--
Saiko: But you’re the storywriter so I’ll draw whatever you think is best.
Takagi: Okay…
--
The next day
Miyoshi: Even though we know our series won’t get cancelled, I still hate series meeting days!
Takagi: Shut up and keep working.
<painting sound>
Miyoshi: What? You’re always telling me to lighten the mood by talking…
--
<ring>
What! Already!? / It’s only 5:30, they’re early.
P21
Fukuda: YEAAAAH!! FINALLY MY TIME HAS COME!!
Nakai: Aaaaaah! Yeah!
Niizuma: Zugogogogogo…
--
Niizuma: That’s great you guys! Both of you have serializations now! // Double congratulations!
--
Nakai: Thank you thank you! // Finally, I can work with Aoki-san! // I’m so glad to be alive… I’m so glad I didn’t give up! I can work with Aoki-san…!
--
Niizuma: But we won’t get to work anymore so I’m a little sad.
Fukuda: Don’t be stupid! This is my first series in JUMP! There can be nothing more wonderful! I’ll surpass “CROW”! No, I’ll surpass all the mangas!!
Niizuma: Yes! I won’t lose to “Kiyoshi” or “Door” so come at me with all you’ve got!
Fukuda: I will!
Nakai: I won’t lose either! Aoki-san and I won’t lose!
P22
Saiko: There are 2 new series: / “KIYOSHI Knight” and “hideout door”!
Miyoshi: Really? Wow!
--
Saiko: We have to call them to congratulate them like they did for us.
Takagi: The 2 mangas that we went head-to-head against in the Future Golden Cup… // I can’t believe they’re both being serialized… And it’s only the 2 of them…
--
Saiko: The series that will be cancelled are Takano-sensei’s “Chain gold” / and… Arai-sensei’s “Cheese Okaki”!
Miyoshi: “CheeOka” already?
Takagi: “Okaki” is done for!?
--
Takagi: Miura-san said “Okaki” would be okay…
--
Saiko: I’m starting to think that if you can change it, we should.
Takahama: He has very little experience and he’s a little too optimistic.
--
Takagi: Saiko! I’m going to change the name for chapter 7!!
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p.1: missing the whole "昔から抱き続けたこの夢が。。。" part >_<
p.4: Takagi: What, are you ditching work to go on a date?
>> Hey, are you...? OR What the hell! Are you...? - not sure what his intent is
p.5: Move!!
>> I think people would more likely say "Get out of the way" than "Move"
p.8: Missing TL on booklet
p.10: Saiko: This number… It’s Azuki!
>> This number... is Azuki's!
p.10: Takagi-kun called my house… I’m sorry to have caused you all trouble!
>> I’m sorry I troubled you all!
p.11: Saiko: But you’re struggling over the photo collection, aren’t you?
>> Saiko: But you’re struggling with your decision to do the photo collection, aren’t you?
p.11: Azuki: Mashirokun, just tell me one thing.
>> Mashiro-kun
p.11: I would want to see your photo collection but I don’t want other people to see it! I want it all to myself!!
>> I'd want... (teens would shorten it)
p.12: Azuki: I would think about doing it if I became a popular voice actress. But releasing one now doesn’t seem right. // I was looking at the writing collection from grade school graduation… / I wrote “my future dream is a voice actress.”
>> contract "I would" -> "I'd"; period after 'actress' -> comma; uncap 'but'
>> writing collection -> literary collection (for consistency w/c39)
>> I wrote that my dream was to be a voice actress. (no quotes b/c the page said "Your dream: Voice actress" (from c39's TL))
p.12: Azuki: When I found out voice acting was a profession, I wanted to become one right away.
>> wanted -> decided (otherwise it'd be like she wanted to hurry up and become a VA ASAP.)
p.12: I want to live up to that dream.
>> live up -> fulfill
p.12: But when I learned the reality of it all… I gave up.
>> I'm kind of not liking the wording of this... Maybe: But when I saw the reality... I gave up? >_<
p.12: There are going to be times when you learn more about the world you’re entering and feel defeated when you see the gap between the ideal and reality…
>> ... and you feel defeated when you see the gap between fantasy and reality. (not sure it'd be ideal - I think fantasy might be a better choice + inserted 'you')
p.13: I’ll take it step by step from the beginning. / I was able to gather my thought by talking to you and I’m feeling better. So go home and draw your manga!
>> the 'from the beginning' sounds weird.
>> thought -> thoughts/ ... I feel better, so go home...
p.13: Azuki: I’ll tell you everything from now on. Even if I cry… I’m sorry I’m so stubborn…
>> ... now on, even if I have to cry...
p.13: Saiko: Yeah!
>> Great! might be more appropriate here.
p.13: Azuki: Let’s go to the beach together one day. / And take lots of pictures!
>> combine two together - ... one day,// and take lots...
p.14: Saiko: We’ll go to the beach together / and take lots of pictures // and your hand-made lunch.
>> It might be better to switch the order:
>> Saiko: We’ll go to the beach together / with your hand-made lunch // and take lots of pictures.
p.14: Saiko: Sorry! / Azuki-san says so too.
>> so -> sorry
p.15: Miura: Good, OK!
>> It's better if it's switched: Ok, good!
p.15: Miura: What, you’re unsatisfied!?
>> What? You're unsatisfied!?
p.15: Can you also tell us the results for the first cgapter of Ibaraki-sense’s “Plus Beta,” “Otter” and “Okaki”…?
>> drop 'also'; cgapter -> chapter; put 'as well' at end: Can you tell us the results for the first chapter of Ibaraki-sense’s “Plus Beta,” “Otter” and “Okaki” as well…?
p.15: Miura: “Plus Beta” was 5th, “CROW” was 3rd, “Otter” was 6th, “Okaki” was 12th.
>> insert 'and' before 'okaki'
p.15: Takagi: You’re having a series meeting on the 19th, right after the 3rd chapter early reports, right?
>> ...right after hearing/getting the 3rd...
p.16: Miura: I told you, even if you guys are last place in the early reports, the series won’t be cancelled!
>> I told you that even...
p.16: Miura: There’s no such thing as 100% in the world!
>> There's nothing that's absolute in the world! OR
>> There's nothing you can know with absolute certainty in the world!
p.17: It’s a 100% guarantee!
>> It's 100% guaranteed!
p.17: Aida: Looks like “TRAP” will continue on. All these high school mangaka’s are pretty impressive.
>> 's are not for making things plural
>> ...school mangakas...
p.17: Hattori: He’s glad even though it’s in 9th…
>> ...it's in 9th place... OR ...it's ranked 9th...
p.18: Saiko: I’m starting to think if you can change it, we should.
>> to think that if...; drop comma
p.18: Even if our series isn’t cancelled in tomorrows meeting, we don’t know how chapters 4 through 6 will do…
>> tomorrow's
p.18: In case we don’t do so well, starting a story that will necessitate 3 or 4 chapters to solve might get out of hand.
>> necessitate -> need (saiko using such a word seems weird)
>> Plus, not sure why it'd "might get out of hand" - do you mean 'might be risky'?
p.19: Saiko: A comic book won’t be released until 4 more months.
>> until -> for
p.19: Takahama: I don’t think you should take Miura-san’s word too much.
>> maybe: I don't think you should take Miura-san's word at face value. OR
>> I don’t think you should take Miura-san’s word to heart.
p.19: Takahama: When I ended up only as a final candidate in the Tezuka Awards, Miura-san picked up my manga… / And I don’t want to speak badly of someone who picked up my manga but…
>> only -> just/ not sure what you mean by he picked up his manga... you mean like sponsored it?
p.20: That’s why I think we should do our manga that way we think it should be.
>> we -> you; our -> your; think it should be -> want it to be
>> That's why I think you should do your manga the way you want it to be.
p.20: Saiko: The final 10th chapter where TRAP is the one that gets tricked and almost gets killed… / I think that’s a great one.
>> final? The 10th chapter, the last of the finalized chapters, where...? not sure what you mean by final - that would seem like it's the last chapter of the series.
p.20: What! Already!? / It’s only 5:30, they’re early.
>> What?!
p.21: Both of you have series’ now!
>> Both of you have serializations now!
p.21: Niizuma: But we won’t get to work anymore so I’m a little sad.
>> work together...
p.21: Nakai: I won’t lose either! Aoki-san and I won’t!
>> Aoki-san and I won’t lose!
p.22: Saiko: There are 2 new series. / “KIYOSHI Knight” and “hideout door”!
>> period -> colon (:)
p.22: Takagi: The 2 mangas that we were up against head to head in the Future Golden Cup…
>> The 2 mangas that we went head-to-head against in the Future Golden Cup…
p.22: Saiko: The series that will be cancelled are Takano-sensei’s “Chain gold” / and… Arai-sensei’s “Cheese Okaki”!
>> "Chain Gold" ; "Cheese Okaki!"
p.22: Saiko: I’m starting to think if you can change it, we should.
>> Saiko: I’m starting to think that if you can change it we should. (to reflect change from p.18)
p.22: Missing MAX TL on the side~
Thanks for TLing Shiro. ^_^
p.5: Move!!
>> I think people would more likely say "Get out of the way" than "Move"
really?? you clearly have never been to NY :P