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Bakuman 44

Page 44: Showing Gratitude and the Sudden Turn of Events

en
+ posted by shirokuro as translation on Jul 3, 2009 02:37 | Go to Bakuman

-> RTS Page for Bakuman 44

Reserved for Akatsuki Group!

proofread by c_k (7/2)
*Important note: I've changed some things after going through c_k's edits in the comments section. I didn't work with c_k in real time this week, so she misunderstood some of my unclear translations. Please take note of the changes, though they're subtle, they're really important in how they affect the meaning of the lines. All I can hope for now is for akatsuki to make the edit changes too...but it might be too late. (7/3)

Page 44: Showing Gratitude and a Sudden Turn of Events

Insert: Their popularity continues to rise and their confidence gets a boost!!

The 14th chapter of our series, “Gitantei Trap” ranked 3rd which tied it up with Niizuma Eiji’s “CROW.”

Miura: To be honest, I didn’t think we’d rank alongside “CROW”! This is great!

Takagi: Don’t underestimate us! Hahaha!

--

Saiko: Hattori-san did say at one point…

When we first showed him our manuscripts back when we were still in junior high, he said the editorial staff was predicting that we’d surpass Niizuma Eiji in 3 years…

Hattori: You guys will surpass Eiji in 3 years!


--

Saiko: It’s been 3 years since that day. / Hattori-san’s assumption became a reality… And…

P2

Saiko: Surpassing Eiji will be our way of thanking Hattori-san and repaying him for believing in us!

Miura: Hattori-senpai said that…?

Takagi: Yeah! Let’s do it!

--

Miura: That’s the spirit! You can do it! We also received the opportunity to do the opening color pages of issue of JUMP with our 19th chapter, which is scheduled for release on July 4th!*
*I think it means that chapter 19 will be the first manga in that issue of JUMP, therefore the opening pages of JUMP will be in color, as will the opening pages of chapter 19.

Saiko: WHAT!?

Takagi: We get to do our opening color pages!? Wow!

--

Miura:It's amazing that you guys will get to do the opening color pages for JUMP which is being released on the same day the first volume of your manga will go on sale! / But I guess it’s only natural for this to happen, since you guys did rank 3rd and all!

Saiko: Our comic… And we get to do the opening pages of JUMP…

<Opening color pages>

--

Saiko: Oh yeah, can you take a look at my designs for the comic cover?

Miura: Oh, they’re ready?

P3

Miura: Yeah! This is great!

--

Miura: No one can complain about your artwork, Mashiro-kun. / The cover art is really important for a comic, / especially the first volume! It can drastically affect the sale of millions of copies! / This is great! And once it’s colored in, it’ll be even better!

--

Miura: By the way, we’re planning on having an initial print run of a hundred thousand copies!

--

Takagi & Saiko: Is that a lot?

Miura: You idiots! It’s super rare, not only for a new series, but even rarer for a new series by rookies to have an initial print run of a hundred thousand copies!

--

Miura: Even the first volume of “Otter Number 11” that’s going to be released on the same day will only have sixty thousand copies printed! / “CROW” recently released 150 thousand copies for a volume, but that doesn't happen all the time. // If we keep our popularity up, we’ll go through all those copies in no time and print even more.

P4

Miura: Plus, “TRAP” has the advantage of being able to get mystery-lovers that don’t even read JUMP to get hooked on it. / The sales department probably figured that out, which is why they’re willing to print more copies of it than they’re willing to print for “Otter.” // I bet as we release volumes 2 and 3, we’ll get even more popular and we’ll soon be printing 500 thousand copies or more.

--

Miura: If we get that far, we won’t have to worry about the rankings anymore either.

Takagi: What?

--

Miura: If you can sell over 500 thousand copies of your manga volumes*, your series won’t be canceled even if your rankings are poor.
*This is one of the big changes! Miura is saying if the entire series sells over 500 thousand copies, their series won't be cancelled. He is NOT saying a single volume should sell that many... That's crazy.

Takagi: I’ve heard that before, but I didn’t know it was true… But the goal is to reach 500 thousand copies!?

Miura: There isn’t an exact number that’s been decided on but 500 thousand is good enough! / Plus, a series that’s selling many manga volumes usually won’t rank poorly either!*
*This is the second major change! Miura is saying if the tanks/volumes are selling really well (aka 500 thousand copies), they probably won't rank poorly. Take note that he's NOT saying if the series is selling... It's a subtle difference, but it's pretty important.

Takagi: That’s true.

--

Miura: Let’s aim for 500 thousand copies and surpass “CROW”!

Takagi: If we’re going to aim for something, we should aim for a million copies and an anime!

Miura: You fool! You can only sell a million after an anime!

Saiko: These things are no longer unachievable dreams… // They’re becoming a reality…

P5

Miura: Good luck guys!

Takagi: Thanks!

Saiko: Good night.

--

Saiko: Okay, let’s do it!

Takagi: You just finished chapter 17. You’re moving on to the next one already? // Why don’t you for rest a bit?

--

Saiko: We’re going to have our own comic and opening color pages… I have no time to rest! / The manuscript for chapter 18 and the 3 color pages for chapter 19 are due next week. / Hurry up and write the rest of the name for chapter 19!

Takagi: Okay! Our rankings have always gone up on the chapters that wrapped up cases, so we can try to surpass Eiji with this chapter. / No… I’ll write something that WILL surpass Eiji!

--

Takagi: That’s our way of showing gratitude to Hattori-san.

Saiko: Yeah!

P6

Miyoshi: I’m going to work really really really hard with painting beta today! Yeah!!

Takagi: Is it that fun?

Miyoshi: I actually want to try doing screen tones too!

Saiko: You’re gonna have to ask Ogawa-san about that.

--

Saiko: Hiramaru-san…

Hiramaru: Hey there.

--

Saiko: “Hey there”? What are you doing here…?

Hiramaru: I went up to your place, but this kid, Takahama, said, “I can’t let you in when sensei is not here,” and he mentioned you two would be here soon so I was waiting out here.

--

Saiko: Uh, I meant, why did you come to see us?

Hiramaru: What? I’m not allowed to come here without a reason? You’re a pretty cold-hearted person…

P7

Saiko: I’m not saying you’re not allowed to come here…

Miyoshi: Who’s that?

Takagi: It’s Hiramaru-sensei of “Otter Number 11.”

--

Miyoshi: Hi, I’m Miyoshi Kaya, Takagi Akito’s girlfriend. / I enjoy reading “Otter Number 11” every week.

Hiramaru: I’m Hiramaru. / It’s always nice to see a young girl…

--

Saiko: How did you know where we worked?

Hiramaru: I asked you at the New Year’s party to keep it as a reference, should I have to send my seasonal greetings and such.

Saiko: I don’t remember that…

Hiramaru: Don’t worry so much about the details.

--

Hiramaru: So it must be tough as hell on you two having to keep up a series while attending high school. I couldn’t imagine balancing manga and going to work.

Takagi: It’s not so bad since we split up the work. I write the stories and he does the art.

Hiramaru: True… Niizuma-kun’s not human to be able to do both.

--

Hiramaru: I’m in such bad shape that I suffered from hematuria* a few days ago.
*When you pee blood. This is another important part that c_k had edited "suffer" to the present tense. However, if you keep reading, Hiramaru says that he couldn't get help from the doctor b/c he didn't suffer from it by the time he went to the hospital. So, it should remain in the past tense.

P8

Takagi: Hematuria!? Shouldn’t you go to the doctor…?

Hiramaru: I went already. / I went to the horribly embarrassing urology department. I was so worried that people would think I have some disease…

--

Hiramaru: But it was useless.

Takagi: Useless?

Hiramaru: There was blood the night before, but there was none the next day so they gave me some medication and told me to leave, saying, “Come back when there’s blood again. Don’t worry about it.” They wouldn’t let me stay.

--

Miyoshi: But if you stayed in the hospital, you wouldn’t be able to do your manuscripts.

Hiramaru: I wanted to take a break.

--

Takahama: Excuse me, Mashiro-san.

Saiko: Yeah?

--

Takahama: This came last night…

FAX: Ashirogi-sama

I apologize for suddenly sending such an odd fax. Hiramaru Kazuya-sensei of “Otter Number 11” has recently been trying to run away from his job and he might come and visit you. I apologize in advance for any disruptions he may cause. Additionally, if he does come see you, please call the editorial staff of Shounen JUMP as soon as possible. Thank you for your help.

WJ Yoshida

--

Saiko: Should I call him?

Hiramaru: There are no guarantees with this job…

Takahama: I already did.

P9

Hiramaru: If your popularity goes down, that’s the end of the line… I didn’t know that… Don’t you think it’s a horrible, nerve-wracking occupation?

Takagi: It is, if you say it that way, but I think of it as a job that’s full of opportunities.

Miyoshi: Me too.

Hiramaru: Opportunities… I only see it as a nightmare…

--

Yoshida: This is Yoshida from WJ!

--

Hiramaru: It looks like Yoshida's here to pick me up. See you later.

Miyoshi: “See you later”? He left without putting up a fight…

Takagi: I guess he’s used to it?

--

Takahama: That guy is just relieving his stress this way. / I think he’ll keep complaining and saying he wants to quit, but he'll keep his series going for a while.

Takagi: Interesting…

--

Ogawa: Good morning. Two men just greeted us at the doorway…

Katou: Who are they?

Miyoshi: Hiramaru-sensei and his editor.

P10

Ogawa: I see you’ve finished inking-in this week. That helps me a lot.

Saiko: The edits and cover art for the manga volume are due on Friday so I tried to finish things up.

--

Ogawa: A manga volume at last… I feel at ease now, knowing that the series will continue on.

Takahama: This guy did predict that the series would end soon on our first day of work…

--

Ogawa: And Mashiro-san’s art has improved again over these past few chapters. / It’s obvious that he’s really into it.

Takagi: Really?

Miyoshi: Good job, Mashiro!

--

Ogawa: He has good taste… I don’t have what he has. / If I had it, I would have tried to become a mangaka myself, but all I’m good at is drawing some things. I could never be as good as Takahama-kun is at drawing people.

Takahama: You’re not even trying to improve. All you do is draw scenery…

--

Everything continued on smoothly…

Miura: Chapter 15 ranked 6th.

Takagi & Saiko: 6th!?

Chapter 15 ranked 6th and “CROW” ranked 3rd, opening a gap between us.

--

Takagi: But we’ll definitely turn the tables with chapter 19, which has opening color pages!

Saiko: Yeah!

Miura: Great!

P11

Fukuda: We’re 5th! We outranked “TRAP” again! It’s all thanks to you, Yasuoka!

Yasuoka: Yeah! Then can you give me that 1000 yen you promised for when I have a good idea?

Fukuda: What!? You’re going to start negotiating with me now?

--

Yasuoka: I’ve actually been making my friends read the manga and have promised to give them 500 yen for every good idea they have! So my friend and I really want 1000 yen to motivate us!

Fukuda: What!? You’ve been gettin’ ideas from other people!? That’s awesome!! I’m giving you 3000 yen for that!!

Yasuoka: Yeah! Thanks, you’re like a God!

--

Nakai: Hmm… Chapter 7 ranked 10th… We went up to 8th last week, but we’re back down to double digits… / Single digits and double digits are really different in what they respresent…

--

Nakai: Whose draft it this!? / It’s not done properly so, I can’t understand it! // It’s too messy! Do it over!

Assitant: I’m sorry!

Assistant: He’s pretty grumpy today…

--

Yoshida: You ranked 11th… It’s your first time in the double digits… Maybe you should work a little harder now.

Hiramaru: I am working hard… I can’t take it anymore…

Yoshida: How can you say you’re working hard when you’ve been running around all the time?

Hiramaru: I’m suffering mentally and physically… I had hematuria…

--

Yoshida: Fine… After you finish your next manuscript, I’ll take you out drinking at a place with pretty ladies. You should be able to rejuvenate yourself mentally there better than you would by running around.

Hiramaru: Mr. Yoshida, I will work as hard as I can.

Yoshida: He should last another 2 more weeks this way…

P12

Luckily, we had a day off from school on June 15th, since it was the anniversary of our school. I decided to pull an all-nighter starting the 14th. // I had to complete chapter 18 and the 3 color pages for chapter 19.

Small right box: chapter 18: 19 pages
Small left box: chapter 19 opening: 3 colored pages using 4 colors

<drawing sounds>

Saiko: I want to finish inking-in before the assistants get here tomorrow so that all we have to do is color it in…

--

Katou: Oh, we must have been on the same train!

--

Katou: I hope you don’t mind me walking with you since we’re going to the same place.

Takahama: Sure…

--

Katou: Mashiro-san is really spectacular…

P13

Takahama: Maybe he seems that way because he’s a mangaka?

Katou: He’s shy in a cute way…

Takahama: How old are you, Katou-san?

--

Katou: Yeah… I’m 8 years older than Mashiro-san… // Do you think it wouldn't work?

Takahama: I think Mashiro-san is dating someone.

Katou: What?

--

Katou: Really? But he doesn’t show it off like Takagi-san does.

Takahama: I talk to him a lot after you and Ogawa-san leave at night… / He’s given off the impression that he has a girlfriend from time to time.

--

Katou: Are you sure?

Takahama: Ask him yourself.

--

Katou: Aww…

<click>

--

Takahama: Looks like he’s here already.

Katou; Good morning!

P14

Katou: Aah!

Takahama: Looks like he fell asleep.

--

Takahama: …He’s dead…

Katou: NOOOO!!

P15

Takahama: I’m just kidding. He’s breathing.

Katou: There are some jokes that aren’t funny, you know…

Takahama: But it’s a bit strange that he didn’t even wake up after you screamed…

Katou: Yeah… Whenever he'd sleep here, he’d always wake up when we came in…

--

Takahama: Mashiro-san… Mashiro-san…

--

Ogawa: Good morn…

Takahama: OGAWA-SAN!

--

Ogawa: What’s wrong!?

Takahama: Mashiro-san won’t wake up!

--

Ogawa: He won’t wake up!? Wha…!? // Katou-kun, call an ambulance! // Takahama-kun, call Takagi-san and Miura-san! // Does anyone know Mashiro-kun’s home number!?

P16

<Shueisha>

Miura: WHAT!?

--

Miura: He’s unconscious!?

Ogawa: Yes…

--

Ogawa: He’s regaining consciousness, but he's still not completely awake and he’s soaked with sweat. The ambulance just came… // He’s left 2 or 3 pages of the manuscript done, so Takahama-kun and I will work on finishing them. But I sent Katou-kun to go with him to the hospital.

--

Miura: Which hospital?

Ogawa: Yagusa City Hospital.

Miura: Got it. I’m heading there now.

Hattori: Where’s he going in such a rush?

P17

Hattori: Miura, what happened?

Miura: Mashiro-kun’s unconscious!

--

Miura: This is pretty bad, especially since he’s still a kid in school… // I suppose he had a lot of work to do with the manga volume release and opening color pages….

Hattori: I’m going with you. Don’t tell the superiors yet!

Miura: Okay!

--

Miura: He’s still in the examination room…

P18

Katou: Miura-san…

Takagi: Hattori-san!

--

Hattori: Feeling okay?

Takagi: He’s still in the examination room so we don’t know.

Hattori: No, I’m asking if you’re okay.

--

Takagi: It’s just as you said, Hattori-san! // It’s too much to handle while we're going to school… Shit

--

Mom: Nice to meet you, I’m Mashiro Moritaka’s mother.

--

Hattori: I’m so sorry!

Miura: I’m sorry!

Mom: Oh, please don’t… We don’t even know how he's doing yet… And working on manga is the path that my son chose…*
*Final important difference: I am keeping the "path my son chose" part b/c Saiko's mom is trying to make Hattori and Miura feel less guilty about pushing Saiko too hard, since it was Saiko's choice to draw manga.

P19

Takagi: Doctor! How’s Saiko… Mashiro!?

Doctor: Is there a parent or guardian here?

Mom: That’s me!

--

Takagi: I’m Mashiro’s best friend… No, we’re two halves of a whole…!

Hattori: Takagi-kun and Mashiro-kun are mangakas that work together. We’re from the editorial department. Can you please tell us the condition he’s in as well?

--

Doctor: Please come in. We shall talk inside.

Miura: You should go back, Katou-kun.

Katou: But…

Miura: Leave the rest to us.

Katou: Okay…

--

<Examination Room>

Takagi: No… No way!

Insert: An unconscious Saiko… What’s his condition!? Will he be okay!?

Sorry for any inconveniences caused by the edits! Thanks c_k, sorry about being unclear in some parts. I hope we can work on it together next week so this doesn't happen >_<

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9 members and 8 guests have thanked shirokuro for this release

fizban, DrunkDragon, VASSiLi, Ariadne chan, shamanchrno, takadanama, talli, 2franz6, Doragon

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#1. by takadanama (Scanlator)
Posted on Jul 3, 2009
sooo fast.... thank you!!
#2. by LeaveSkyaMsg (Registered User)
Posted on Jul 3, 2009
Sounds like it's gonna leave us a evil cliff hanger for next week T-T
#3. by DrunkDragon (Registered User)
Posted on Jul 3, 2009
Man, this is one crazy chapter
#4. by Mugiwara_no_Jack (Artists of MH)
Posted on Jul 3, 2009
Thanks ^^

The comic releases are the bound volumes right?
#5. by VASSiLi (Scanlator)
Posted on Jul 3, 2009
Thanks Shiro :)
Akatsuki will release soon guys :)
#6. by c_k (Global Moderator)
Posted on Jul 3, 2009
Thanks for the TL~ Sorry, I forgot about Bakuman since Akatsuki hasn't released it for a while >.> Plus, the comic thing.... wasn't sure if we should write tankouban for the volume or leave it as comic.... so confusing >_< Anyway, I tried to change them to volume whenever possible, but I left them as comic in certain places when it was clear they were talking about the volume. Anyway, comments~

p1: Page 44: Showing Gratitude and the Sudden Turn of Events
>> Page 44: Showing Gratitude and a Sudden Turn of Events

p.1: The 14th chapter of our series, “Gitantei Trap” ranked 3rd, lining up side-by-side, next to Niizuma Eiji’s “CROW.”
>> the 'lining up side-by-side' part sounds a bit weird to me:
>> The 14th chapter of our series, “Gitantei Trap,” ranked 3rd which tied it up with Niizuma Eiji’s “CROW.”

p.2:
We also received the opportunity to do the opening color pages with chapter 19 for that issue of JUMP, scheduled for release on July 4th!
>> We also received the opportunity to do the opening color pages for chapter 19 in that issue of JUMP, which is scheduled for release on July 4th!

p.2: Miura: That’s amazing that you guys will get to do the opening color pages for JUMP, that’s being released on the same day as when your first comic will be released! / But I guess it’s only natural for this to happen, since you guys did rank 3rd and all!
>> That's -> It's; that's -> which is; as when your first comic will be -> on the same day the first volume of your manga will go on sale
>>It's amazing that you guys will get to do the opening color pages for JUMP which is being released on the same day the first volume of your manga will go on sale! / But I guess it’s only natural for this to happen since you guys did rank 3rd and all!

p.2: Saiko: Oh yeah, can you take a look at my designs for the comic cover?
>> , -> !; cap 'can'; comic cover -> cover of the volume
>> Saiko: Oh yeah! Can you take a look at my designs for the cover of the first volume?

p.3: Miura: The cover art is really important for a comic, / especially the first volume! Even the sales are drastically affected by it in the millions! / This is great! And once it’s colored in, it’ll be even better!
>> I left comic in as-is since it seemed fine here...
>> The cover art is really important for a comic, / especially the first volume! It can drastically affect the sale of millions of copies!

p.3: Miura: You idiots! It’s super rare for, not only a new series but, a new series by rookies to have an initial print run of a hundred thousand copies!
>> drop 'for'; comma before 'but';
>> It’s super rare, not only for a new series, but even rarer for a new series by rookies to have an initial print run of a hundred thousand copies!

p.3: Miura: Even the first volume of “Otter Number 11” that’s going to be released on the same day will print only sixty thousand copies! / “CROW” recently released 150 thousand copies on a volume, but that’s not all the time. // If we keep our popularity up, we’ll get through all those copies in no time and print even more.
>> Even the first volume of “Otter Number 11” that’s going to be released on the same day will only have sixty thousand copies printed! / “CROW” recently released 150 thousand copies for a volume, but that doesn't happen all the time. // If we keep our popularity up, we’ll go through all those copies in no time and print even more.

p.4: Miura: Plus, what’s advantageous about “TRAP” is that mystery-lovers that don’t even read JUMP will get hooked on it. / The sales department probably figured that out, which is why they’re willing to print more copies than they’re willing to print for “Otter.” // I bet as we release volumes 2 and 3, we’ll continue to gain popularity and we’ll soon be printing 500 thousand copies or more.
>> Plus, “TRAP” has the advantage of being able to get mystery-lovers that don’t even read JUMP to get hooked on it. / The sales department probably figured that out, which is why they’re willing to print more copies of it than they’re willing to print for “Otter.” // I bet as we release volumes 2 and 3, we’ll get even more popular and we’ll soon be printing 500 thousand copies or more.

p.4: Miura: If you can sell over 500 thousand copies of your comic, your series won’t be cancelled even if your rankings are poor.
>> If you can sell over 500 thousand copies of a single volume, your series won’t be canceled even if your rankings are poor.

p.4: Takagi: I’ve heard of that but I didn’t know it was true… But the goal to reach is 500 thousand copies!?
>> Takagi: I’ve heard that before, but I didn’t know it was true… But the goal is to reach 500 thousand copies!?

p.4: Plus, a comic that’s selling that well usually won’t rank poorly either!
>> comic -> series

p.4: They’re becoming our reality…
>> our -> a

p.5: Takagi: You just finished chapter 17. You’re moving on to the next one? // Why don’t you rest a bit?
>> Takagi: You just finished chapter 17. You’re moving on to the next one already? // Why don’t you for rest a bit?

p.5: Takagi: That’s our way of showing gratitude for Hattori-san.
>> for -> to

p.6: Miyoshi: I’m going to work so hard with painting beta today! Yeah!!
>> Miyoshi: I’m going to work really hard with painting beta today! Yeah!!

p.6: Hiramaru: I went up to your place but this kid, Takahama, said “I can’t let you in when sensei is not here,” and he mentioned you two would be here soon so, I was waiting out here.
>> comma after 'place'; comma after' said'; drop comma after 'so'
>> Hiramaru: I went up to your place, but this kid, Takahama, said, “I can’t let you in when sensei is not here,” and he mentioned you two would be here soon so I was waiting out here.

p.7: Hiramaru: True… Niizuma-kun’s not human to be able to do both.
>> not human -> inhuman

p.7: Hiramaru: I’m in such bad shape that I suffered from hematuria*.
>> Hiramaru: I’m in such bad shape that I suffer from hematuria.*

p.8: Hiramaru: There was blood the night before, but there was no more the next day. So, they gave me medication and told me to leave, saying, “Come back when there’s blood again. Don’t worry about it.” They wouldn’t let me stay.
>> no more -> none; drop period before 'so'; drop comma; insert 'some' after 'me'
>> Hiramaru: There was blood the night before, but there was none the next day so they gave me some medication and told me to leave, saying, “Come back when there’s blood again. Don’t worry about it.” They wouldn’t let me stay.

p.8: I apologize for suddenly sending such an odd fax. Hiramaru Kazuya-sensei of “Otter Number 11” has recently been trying to run away from his job and he might come to visit you.
>> to -> and: '... come and visit you.'

p.9: Hiramaru: It seems that Yoshida's picking me up. See you later.
>> Hiramaru: It looks like Yoshida's here to pick me up. See you later.

p.9: Miyoshi: “See you later”? He left without much objection…
>> He left without kicking up a fuss...

p.9: Takagi: I guess he’s used to it?
? -> .

p.9: Takahama: That guy is just relieving his stress this way. / I think he’ll keep complaining and saying he wants to quit but, will keep his series going for a while.
>> comma before 'but'; will -> he'll

p.9: Ogawa: Good morning. Two men just greeted us in the doorway…
>> in -> at

p.10: Saiko: The edits for the comic and cover art are due on Friday so I tried to finish things up.
>> The edits and cover art for the manga volume are due on Friday so I tried to finish things up.

p.10: Ogawa: A comic at last… I feel at ease now, knowing that the series will continue on.
>> Ogawa: A manga volume at last… I feel at ease now, knowing that the series will continue on.

p.10: Takahama: You’re just not trying to improve and all you do is draw scenery…
>> Takahama: You’re not even trying to improve. All you do is draw scenery…

p.10: Takagi: But we’ll definitely turn the tables with chapter 19 that has opening color pages!
>> that -> which

p.11: Yasuoka: I’ve actually been making my friends read the manga and have promised to give them 500 yen for every good idea they have! So, my friend and I really want 1000 yen to motivate us!
>> drop comma after 'so'

p.11: Nakai: Hmm… Chapter 7 ranked 10th… We went up to 8th last week but we’re back down to double digits… / Single digits and double digits are really different in what they resemble…
>> comma after 'week'; not really sure what you meant by 'what they resemble' though...

p.11: Nakai: Whose draft it this!?
>> it -> is

p.Yoshida: Fine… After you finish your next manuscript, I’ll take you out for drinks where the pretty ladies are. You should be able to rejuvenate yourself mentally there, better than you would by running around.
>> Yoshida: Fine… After you finish your next manuscript, I’ll take you out drinking at a place with pretty ladies. You should be able to rejuvenate yourself mentally there better than you would by running around.

p.11: Yoshida: He should last another 2 more weeks this way…
>> He should last for another 2 weeks this way...

p.12: Luckily, we had a day off from school on June 15th, due to it being the anniversary of our school.
>> drop comma; due to it being -> since it was

p.12: Saiko: I want to finish inking-in before the assistants get here tomorrow, so that all we have to do is color it in…
>> drop comma before 'so'

p.12: Katou: I hope you don’t mind me walking with you since we’re going to the same place.
>> Katou: I hope you don’t mind if I walk with you since we’re going to the same place.

p.13: Katou: Yeah… I’m 8 years older than Mashiro-san… // Do you think it won’t work?
>> Yeah -> Ummm...; won't -> wouldn't

p.14: Katou: Kya!
>> Ahhh!

p.15: Katou: Yeah… Whenever he's sleeps here, he’d always wake up when we came in…
>> he's -> he

p.16: Ogawa: He’s regaining consciousness a bit, but is still not completely awake and he’s soaking from sweat. The ambulance just came… // He’s left 2 or 3 pages of the manuscript done, so Takahama-kun and I will work on finishing them. But I sent Katou-kun to go with him to the hospital.
>> drop 'a bit'; soaking from -> soaked with; is -> he's
>> Ogawa: He’s regaining consciousness, but he's still not completely awake and he’s soaked with sweat. The ambulance just came… // He’s left 2 or 3 pages of the manuscript done, so Takahama-kun and I will work on finishing them. But I sent Katou-kun to go with him to the hospital.

p.17: I suppose he had a lot of work to do with the comic release and opening color pages….
>> comic -> manga volume

p.18: Takagi: He’s still in the examination room so, we don’t know.
>> drop comma

p.18: It’s too much to try to do this while we're going to school… Shit…
>> It’s too much to handle while we're going to school… Shit…

p.18: Mom: Nice to meet you, I’m Mashiro Moritaka’s mother.
>> comma -> period

p.18: Mom: Oh, please don’t… We don’t even know how he is yet… And this is the path that my son chose…
>> how he is yet.. -> how he's doing yet... + drop 'that' 'path my son chose...'

p.19: Takagi: I’m Mashiro’s best friend… No, we’re halves of a whole…!
>> two halves of a whole

p.19: Doctor: Please come in. We shall talk inside.
>> shall -> should

p.19: Insert: Unconcious Saiko… What’s his condition!? Will he be okay!?
>> An unconscious Saiko...

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Alias: shirokuro
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