Kurenai
14
Promise
-> RTS Page for Kurenai 14
(NOTE: Please see proofreading of Loserbait and my comment on it below the translation)
(SHIIIIIT MAJOR ERROR!!!! Last line from Benika in page 26!!!)
Kure-nai 14 – Promise
= speech/thought bubbles
++ everything else (usu also labeled to some extent)
Page 1
++ - Having Murasaki taken away, Shinkurou is...!?
Page 2
Tamaki
= Oh
= You came about?
Shinkurou
= Tamaki-san...
Tamaki
= Want some water?
= I called Dr. Yamauchi to have a look at you for good measure
= But at any rate, he said your vital organs are safe
= Guess it’s thanks to your training to get sturdy at Houzuki!
Page 3
Chapter 14 Promise
Original work: Katayama Kentarou
(Shuueisha: Super Dash Book Collection)
Manga: Yamamoto Yamato
Scenario: Koyasu Hideaki
Continuity Composition: Furuya Daisuke
++ With you... once more –
JC Comics Volume 2 Second Edition Now Complete!!
TV anime DVD information on page 510!!
Extra chapter compilation and appendix in the Special Edition “Square II”!!
= Knock
= Knock
Page 4
Benika
= Are you alive?
Shinkurou
= Be...
= Benika-san...!
Benika
= ... You seem alright
= Oh, I see that Tamaki’s with you
Tamaki
= Hello–
Page 5
Benika
= It seems that I was a step behind
= I didn’t expect that they’d find this place
= I’ve caused you troubles, Shinkurou
= I’ll throw in some extra in your commission
= Recuperate with this for a while
Shinkurou
= ...Wai
= Please wait!!
Page 6
Shinkurou
= Please explain!!
= Just what on earth is...!!
= How did things like this...!!
Benika
= You don’t need to know
Shinkurou
= Do...!!
= Don’t joke with me!!
Page 7
Shinkurou
= Guh...!!
Benika
= It’s fine, Yayoi
= Let him go
Shinkurou
= Please explain...
= Tell me what all of this is about......
Benika
= And what would you do about it
Page 8
Benika
= Can you even fight them?
= ...That wound
= You’ve been done in by a professional mercenary, no?
= If you get involved in this case any more, you won’t get away with just that
= You’ll be killed for sure
Page 9
Shinkurou
= She...
= Saved me...
= She protected me
= Even though protecting was supposed to be my role...
= But regardless...
Benika
= Even after you find out, nothing will come out it, you know?
Page 10
Shinkurou
= That’s not for you to decide
Benika
++ No sign of backing down...
Tamaki
= Shall I excuse myself?
Benika
= No...
= I don’t mind
Page 11
Benika
= So
= What do you want to know first?
Shinkurou
= Your... goal
Benika
= Some straight ball
= My goal is to keep a promise
Shinkurou
= A promise?
Benika
= A promise
= With Murasaki’s mother
Page 12
Benika
++ In the past
++ There was a time when I went in and out of the Kuhouin because of work
++ I met her there
++ That place was called the “Inner Yard”
Shinkurou
= The Inner Yard...?
Page 13
Benika
= Women born to the Kuhouin spend their entire lies there
= While to the world, the media, the government
= Their existence is kept in a state of complete secrecy
Ginko
= No daughters exist in the Kuhouin
Shinkurou
= Wh...
= Why would they do such a thing...
Benika
= This is a heavily classified secret
Page 14
Benika
= Those of the Kuhouin
= Can only make children within their own clan
(t/n: OH HELL NO, WTF, this is what I was fearing from day 1 of this manga... !@^*$&@!^% )
Shinkurou
= Wha...
Benika
= I don’t know the reason in detail
= I suppose it’s along the lines of hereditary problems...
Page 15
Benika
= But marriage within the family is a complete taboo in this day and age
= It’s something that can never be made public
Shinkurou
= That’s why... a place like the Inner Yard...
Benika
= Yes...
= And in the Inner Yard
= Women are treated as tools to bear the clan’s children
(t/n: WOW, my nightmares are coming true....)
= You can’t comprehend, can you?
= I couldn’t understand it at first, either
= The emotions of the women who obey and live under a system like that...
Page 16
Benika
= But to put it in words...
= That place is something of a different world altogether
= And the common sense on this side was absolutely disregarded...
++ A clan that treats women as “tools” for bearing children
++ An facility for that purpose
= Does it piss you off?
= Nevertheless, in that infuriating place...
= Was my friend
Page 17
++ The Inner Yard (More than a decade ago)
Mother
= Want to leave this place?
= Me?
Benika
= That’s right
= If you want to leave, I’ll take you out
Mother
= Thank you, Benika
Page 18
Mother
= But it’s OK!
= This is a happy place
= There’s no fighting or crimes in here at all unlike the outside world
= I’m staying here with full understanding
= I’ll live here
= And bear children here
= And die here
Benika
= Are you really alright with that?
= In a place like this for the rest of your life, do you really...
Mother
= You’re right
Page 19
Mother
= Then... could you do me just one favor?
= If someday...
= If I bear a girl
= I’d like you to grant one wish of that girl
= I don’t have any complaints against ending in this land
= But the coming girl may not be so...
= Yeah?
Benika
= I understand
= I’ll definitely... grant it
Page 20
Shinkurou
= By any chance
= That girl you speak of is...
Benika
= Yes
= It’s Kuhouin Murasaki
Shinkurou
= Th Then just what was Murasaki’s wish!!
= Didn’t she want to leave the Inner Yard!!
Benika
= You’re wrong
= That child
Murasaki
++ I
Page 21
Murasaki
= Want to try that thing called love
++ My late mother would say often
++ That love is a very wonderful thing
Page 22
Murasaki
= But there is no such thing called love in the Inner Yard...
= Is it a difficult wish?
Benika
++ No...
Shinkurou
= That’s why...
= To me?
Page 23
Benika
= Well, it was my own arbitrary judgment, and I did feel bad...
= But there was no one else suitable
++ Thank you, Shinkurou
++ Thank you
Benika
= Hey, what are you planning?
Page 24
Shinkurou
= I’m going
= Where she is
Benika
= Hey
= Hey! Do you understand the situation?
= The Kuhouin family isn’t an adversary that you alone can do something about
= It’s like duking it out with a country’s military
Page 25
Benika
= Planning to die?
Shinkurou
= I’m going to meet her before that
Benika
= Meet her and then what will you do
= That child may remain on that side, you know?
Shinkurou
= That’s for her to decide
= I’ll see her
= And ask her what she really wishes for right now
Benika
= If she seeks to be saved?
Shinkurou
= I’ll save her!!!
Page 26
Probably both gals
= Fu...
= Fufufufu...
= HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Benika
= It seems that...
= My personnel selection was right on the money
= I had you figured out all wrong, Shinkurou
= Since when did you become man enough to make an enemy out of a corner of the Three Great Front Families for the sake of one woman? (t/n: OK, this was a bit hard to translate... so I more or less did a literal translation of 表御三家...)
(t/n: OK, the obnoxiously big, bolded, italicized text is the part of the text that I missed on my first pass... which also happened to be my only pass.. Yeah, this is why you should always proofread your own work -____-)
Page 27
Benika
= If you have the resolution, then there’s no helping it
= Let’s go, Shinkurou
Shinkurou
= Eh...
Benika
= I
= The Juuzawa Benika will be your guide
Page 28
Yamie
= You’re going, then, Benika
= I leave the boy up to you (t/n: Btw, it’s not like she owns him, please don’t start up a discussion about that...)
Benika
= Yeah
Tamaki
= Aw-w I’m going, too –
Shinkurou
= Drunks are not allowed
Page 29
++ Wait, Murasaki
++ I’ll definitely
Benika
= This...
= Is an unexpected guest
Shinkurou
= Huh?
= Yu...!
Page 30
Shinkurou
= Yuuno-san!!!
Yuuno
= You are going to Murasaki-chan, right?
Shinkurou
= Wh Why are you at a place like this...
Benika
= <Houzuki>, huh...
= As expected of the Thirteen Families of the Underworld (t/n: Again, an almost literal translation)
= You’re sensitive to information on the underworld
Yuuno
= Ever since I found out about Murasaki-chan
= I have been paying attention, so...
Page 31
Yuuno
= I’ll say the conclusion first
= (SFX) Snap
= There is now way...
= I will let Shinkurou-san fight the likes of Kuhouin
++ Unexpected, yet the greatest barrier!?
(Sorry, not doing the last advertisement page...)
Notes
- As usual, the credit stuff, and feel free to use it - just let me know! :)
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Also, the main issue here is that punctuation is sparse. Whoever uses this, in the interests of legibility, please make sure that each complete sentence that doesn't have punctuation ends with a period/ellipsis/exclamation point.
Proofreading:
Page 4
Benika [Grammar]
= ... You seem all right
Page 5
Benika [You could use "troubles" but "trouble" works for the better]
= I’ve caused you trouble, Shinkurou
Page 7
Benika [Question mark]
= And what would you do about it?
Page 12
Benika [Comma]
++ In the past,
Page 13
Benika [Ellipsis]
= While to the world, the media, the government...
Shinkurou [Question mark]
= Why would they do such a thing...?
Page 16
Benika [Change]
++ A facility for that purpose
Page 18
Mother [Comma]
= There’s no fighting or crimes in here, at all, unlike the outside world
[Used "complete" instead of "full"]
= I’m staying here with complete understanding
Benika [Grammar]
= Are you really all right with that?
Page 20
Shinkurou [Hyphen]
= Th-Then just what was Murasaki’s wish!!
Page 24
Shinkurou [Change]
= To where she is
Page 27
Benika [Commas]
= I,
= The Juuzawa Benika, will be your guide
Page 28
Yamie [Is this a question?]
= You’re going, then, Benika
Page 30
Shinkurou [Change]
= Wh-why are you at a place like this...?
Benika [Change?]
= You’re sensitive to information regarding the underworld
So the reason I omitted punctuation is because the raw itself doesn't have punctuation, and at times, it actually is appropriate that you leave it out - other times, it doesn't matter if you add in punctuation. I understand that it helps legibility, but in terms of pauses, I think the speech bubbles do that job pretty well. Use your judgment on which route you want to take.
Here are the lines that have no punctuation in the original text (which Kure-nai does a lot of) that Loserbait pointed out (and that I don't want to double check because of a headache @_@):
(Page) 7, 12, 13 (both), 28, 30
One comment about a number of these is that they're the characters trailing off in their lines. This is because in the Japanese language, it's perfectly grammatical to stop in the middle of the sentence, leaving the rest up to the listener(/reader in our case) to understand the rest. Sometimes it doesn't carry over perfectly in translation and the translator has to end up inserting the understood verb or whatever while it is not written down in Japanese. That makes me cringe.
With that, let me list the changes I'd like to be kept intact in the way I specified by whoever scanslates, as I feel that it's more appropriate/true to original text. Please use the rest of the proofreading made by Loserbait or use your own judgment as to what you want to do about the missing punctuations at the end of lines (as I can't be bothered to make the changes myself atm :P).
Page 13 Ellipse change: if anything, I think it should be a comma - ellipses put a pause that's a bit too strong, imho.
The original text of the hyphen changes is, I think, mostly Shinkurou stuttering, something he does quite often, and the Japanese text doesn't bother with any punctuation in between. Not sure if that's legal in the English grammar, but if you can help it at all, I'd like you to leave the hyphens out. I don't know, it makes me feel more rushed when I read it and helps me feel Shinkurou restlessness better. :)
(This is just an answer to Loserbait's question for Page 28)
The line "You're going, then, Benika" can be interpreted as a statement/observation, a question, or both. When Japanese people stick a か at the end, which you're taught makes a question, they're often actually just making an observation, but they put it in a question form to express their musing state of mind... Don't know if that makes much sense, but yeah :P