-> RTS Page for Kinnikuman 31
The field has been reduced, but only one preliminary remains! What will be the final preliminary to determine the final eight? And...how will Suguru end up screwed up this time around?
Chapter 31: The Final Preliminary--Round-Trip Marathon to the Moon
Note: The Choujin Olympics have finally reached the final pre-battle. He may be clumsy, but, with all your might, please root for Kinnikuman to do this.
Can you cheer with your voices for Kinnikuman to be champion!?
Suguru: I will certainly become champion!!
Announcer: Well then, we’ve finally entered the final preliminary. Here are the faces of the twenty-five heroes who’ve won their way through this fierce battle.
Boy: HIE~~GRANNY SURPRISED ME AND I KNOCKED MY HEAD ON THE DRAWER SHELF~~
Woman: DON’T DIE GRAMPS~~
Announcer: Now to explain the contest. Go ahead, chair.
Chair: It’s been great, we’ve cried, we’ve laughed, yet this contest will determine the final 8. The contest is…
Suguru: A bread-eating contest. HA HA HA HA
Chair: I……I’ve got to lead him! This is getting heated.
Chair: I’m leading…but should I take that~~
Police: CAN…CAN’T YOU IMMEDIATELY STOP THAT!!
SFX: SWIM SWIM
Suguru: Cra—wl! Cra—wl!!
Chair: Really, he’s like his father.
Chair: Well then, shouldn’t you look at me? How’s that? How’s that?
SFX: ZUI ZUI ZUI
Mayumi: Shouldn’t there be a blue flag flying?
Mayumi: Really, it’s cause you get angry so quickly…
SFX: BON BON BIN—G
Chair: IT’S…….IT’S FLYING AWAY!
Mayumi: Oh…out of park home run.
Chair: It’s for the Guiness Book.
SFX: ZU ZU…
SFX: CRASH CRASH CRASH CRASH / BOOM BOOM
Police: Wa~~~the chair is staying in bed! So…someone, stand in as a substitute—
Candaian: Eeh!? The final preliminary contest is a MARATHON~~!!
Suguru: What~~a marathon!
Police: Ge…his butt spoke…
Police: However, this marathon may be a marathon, but you have to fly through the sky. Thus it’s a sky-flight marathon.
8-Man: S**t~~If it was a normal marathon, I could use my prideful legs~~
Kamen Rider: He he he, I’m different from 8-Man in that I am able to fly.
(TN: While both 8-Man and Kamen Rider are cybernetic heroes being referenced here, 8-Man is the original who has the ability to run at 3000 KM/hr due to his powerful cybernetic legs, while Kamen Rider is a reference to “Skyrider”, the Kamen Rider of the 1979 series (which meant he was contemporary to this chapter) who was the first Kamen Rider that could fly)
Police: No, those who can’t fly are approved to use jet packs.
Meat: Prince, get that. Well, get a numbered ticket!
Suguru: I don’t need that thing.
Meat: But your flying abilities are used for sightseeing, not for use in a contest.
Suguru: He—y, quiet~~even if there are many no-good Choujin, I don’t use a machine.
Man: Yo! We don’t have to be stingy, take two!
Brocken: The rules say only one…
Sphinx: Wa…those inferior Choujin…
Amazon: Didn’t they come out of a delinquent high school.
Meat: Honestly, I’ve gotten a better opinion of you…prince.
Meat: So what you say and what you do are different, isn’t it?
Suguru: I was joking, joking!
Chief: Fine, then? The course has you departing from Earth, wrapping around the moon and returning! Now, to prove you were on the moon, you have to come back with a moon rabbit!
(TN: In Japanese folklore, the “man on the moon” is actually a giant jade rabbit making mochi, leading to many jokes in manga/anime of rabbits on the moon)
Suguru: Wahahaha~~dum~~my. There are rabbits on the moon!? Is that what you think, chief!
Chair: Do you understand this at all? It was prepared in advance for the purpose of the Olympics.
Police: Ch…chair! His idiocy is sickening my more than thers…Nuoo
Chair: With that, everyone please stand in position. The preparations are fine.
Chair: Hey hey, not yet, not yet.
Suguru: OWA~~~AREN’T THEY SLY?
Suguru: Hi~~the wind pressure won’t let me so~~ar.
Meat: Prince! What are you doing?
Meat: At this rate you won’t be in the final 8.
Suguru: If that’s the case, it would have been better to borrow a jet pack.
SFX: FART FART FART FART
Announcer: Well, the air pressure since the start has increased.
SFX: COUGH COUGH
Mari: Oh no, my make-up~~
Chief: Mu! What is this?
Kazuo: Hie~~~my wig~~
Natsuko & Mari: !
Kazuo: What, what?
Announcer: Ooh! The celing of the stadium is closing.
Announcer: Everyone, quiet down. The final preliminary contest is set in space, yet all of us can make appreciations of the player’s activity by using this space screen that’s used in planetariums. Please look up at the ceiling.
Announcer: All of us on Earth can point to our returning prayers here on the surface of the moon.
SFX: BEEP BEEP BEEP
Announcer: Ooh, and quickly, Robin Mask has made it.
Mayumi: Where’s Suguru, where’s Suguru
Chief: You have no reason to be here.
Girl: Robin Mask, here’s a drink…
Robin: Thank you!
Announcer: Now, softly holding the rabbit, Robin Mask heads back to Earth.
Announcer: Now then, in second is Terryman and the rest of the players, one after another, have made it!
Mayumi: Wahahaha, I thought Suguru would be surprised and be hiding in the stone shadows for sure.
Chief: It wouldn’t, it wouldn’t!
Suguru: S**t—I wanted those rabbits to be lively.
Suguru: Fu—I finally made it. Haa haa
Meat: Wha? There aren’t any rabbits.
Meat: Well then, first is a drink.
Suguru: Ooh, Morinaga Cocoa…
Voice: I’ve been waiting for you, Suguru-san.
Man: This is a rabbit that calls good luck.
Suguru: Ooh, I don’t know who your are but thanks.
Meat: The prince did well…he got a rabbit…
Suguru: Uuh…but now I’ve already.
Meat: That timidity is bad. You needs guts…You’re Hyuuma Hoshi.
(TN: As explained prior, Hyuuma Hoshi is the lead of “Star of the Giants”)
Suguru: Like this!
Meat: Yes! Like that, like that!
Suguru: Al—right, let’s go!!
Suguru: See ya!
SFX: FART FART FART
Man: Fu fu fu…
Kinkotsu: He’s been caught perfectly!
Iwao: THE~~RABBIT EARLIER IS A TIME-BOMB~~
Kani: Oh! It’s gotten musical.
Kani: IF IT GOES JUST AS PLANNED~~HIS ARRIVAL TO EARTH WILL BE CLUM~~SILY KABO~~OM
Kinkotsu: Hey hey, stop that stupid mimicking.
Kinkotsu: AND~~THEN~~THE OLYMPICS WILL~~BE~~ALL MIXED~~UP
Iwao: Are you doing it yourself too…
Kinkotsu, Iwao & Kani: WAHAHAHA
Announcer: Well—then, Robin Mask is entering through the top now. And he’s followed by Terryman!
Announcer: Now, one player after another are entering, in this case, we’ve decided to seven of the eight who have advanced to the final tournament. Only one spot remains and it appears Kinnikuman will be dead-last.
Mayumi: You don’t understand yet!
Police: SUBDUE THE DAIOU. WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU SLOB!
Police: Uoo, my eyes, my eyes~~
Mayumi: So then what is Suguru really doing…
SFX: CLICK CLICK CLICK
SFX: CLICK CLICK CLICK
Kinkotsu: Ku ku ku…it will explode in another twenty minutes. That will be when Kinnikuman enters the stadium.
Iwao: And then, that’s the end of the tournament…
Announcer: Well~~then, the 8th entrant is the African representative, Kintaman.
Mayumi: Suguru~~hurry and get back~~!
Suguru: We’ve got a great lag.
SFX: FART FART FART FART
SFX: CLICK CLICK CLICK
Suguru: WA~~IT’S AN AMAZING BLAST~~
Announcer: Ooh! Kintama has room to spare. He hasn’t crossed the goal-line yet and is flying around.
Announcer: WELL~~THEN, THIS HAS BECOME EXTRAORDINARY. TEN PLAYERS HAVE CROSSED THE GOAL LINE AT THE SAME TIME~~~
Police: This really is the greatest of worries.
Iwao: Since his flight speed was slow, it exploded outside the atmosphere, teacher!
Kinkotsu: No, the operation of a success. Look, the tournament has been wrecked!
Suguru: I’m first~~
Kintaman: No way, I am!
Choujin: No no, it’s me~~
Announcer: Well, who will be the eighth Choujin who will advance to the final round as we expect? First off, I hope it isn’t Kinnikuman…
Mayumi: WHAT, YOU FOOL~~~
SFX: WHAM BAM WHAM BAM WHAM
TN: Alright, think this over...what the heck just happened? I know it's a gag series at this point and they needed a way to get Kinnikuman past this preliminary (sort of) but...if there was a bit of logic, Kintaman would have just rushed past the goal and that would have been it...well until they found some other way. I know it was supposed to be funny...and it sort of was...but it still made little sense altogether even compared to the fun and insanity of the first two preliminaries! I do like Yudetamago's imagination and the whole "round-trip to the Moon and back" works in theory (even with the cartoon physics of anyone breathing in space, even drink distributors on the moon), but the whole matter just felt screwy. Of course, there will be 8 final candidates emerging next time but for the moment...we still have to sort out the mess at the end of this chapter. (and of course...wondering where Kamen Rider was after all that boasting :p)