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Translations: Gintama 490 by Bomber D Rufi
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Jungle no Ouja Taa-chan 32

The Fake TV-Channel

en
+ posted by StrangerAtaru as translation on Mar 10, 2011 13:41 | Go to Jungle no Ouja Taa-chan

-> RTS Page for Jungle no Ouja Taa-chan 32

Many people wish to make TV shows about the "savages of Africa", but some may want to make something that is...well, even more misleading!

No. 32: The Fake TV-Channel

120.
Caption: Everyo—ne, are you healthy? Jane’s keywords are: eat, sleep, get fat!!
Jane: Fua~~~ (Yawn~~~)
Jane: I’ve had free time these days—requests to be a guide frankly haven’t come and, like this, I can’t make money.
SFX: Se se
Jane: J…just a moment, isn’t that a van for a TV-channel? Are they requesting a guide?
Jane: I can’t be du—lly sleeping. I must get busy. I have to take advantage of this. (ow)
Jane: Ah—we’re so busy. By the way: do you have some business?
Book: Schedule Book
Ta-chan: But understand immediately that she has woken up since eye mucus is fully filled there.

121.
Mustache: N…nice to meat you, we are BBO TV of England.
(TN: “BBO” is obviously a parody of “BBC”, the “British Broadcasting Corporation”)
Jane: Ah—if you’re requesting a guide, then we are expensive since our schedule is busy now.
Ta-chan: Yeah—it’s busy..
Mustache: No—we’re not requesting a guide. In truth, we’ve heard rumors about you two, a married couple, and we certainly want you to be on TV…
Jane: EH?
Ta-chan: ?
Mustache: Of course, we will be giving you a performance fee for a duo.
Mustache: First of all, before we start photographing, a pre…
Jane: Pre-pay?
Jane: Pre-attaching…
(TN: “Pre-attaching” has to do with the Japanese word “Maebari”, and…you see what they’re doing to Ta-chan)

122.
Mustache: Hahah, I was joking. So then, your pre-pay of 100,000 dollars.
Glasses: Aren’t they the exact married couple for our fake program, as rumored by the hunters?
Ta-chan: That’s good.
Jane: One…one…one hundred thousand…
Caption:
BBO Wednesday Special:
DISCOVERY IN AFRICA’S INTERIOR!
They Live in the Stone Age
THE PRIMITIVE SPOUSES
Narrator: And so, filming began.
Caption: Hyrax - Rock Hyrax
(TN: The “Hyrax” is one of four species of the order of Hyracoidea and are seen as a primitive mammal with many traits they possess. The “Rock Hyrax”(Procavia capensis) is the only known species of the Procavia genus and lives in Subsaharan Africa (outside the Congo Basin) and the Middle East)
Ta-chan: Why are we making stone weapons?
SFX: Niko niko niko niko
Mustache: Ye—s, that’s good. The husband is silently making a stone spear and the wife a stone axe. Wife, quit your business-like smile.

123.
Cameraman: So then, I’ll zoom in on the wife’s charming face.
Technician: OK, you’re tired. Until the next scene, eat these hot dogs and please take a break. Fully put on this ketchup.
Bottle: Tomato ketchup
Book: Scenario
Scenario Data:
Scene 2: We’ve finally discovered the primitive couple!! Suddenly the female primitive opens her large mouth and chases after the staff.
SFX: Picha picha
Staff Member: Action. Gya—we’re going to be eaten!!
Jane: Ah—it was tasty. (peace)
SFX: Sa

124.
Narrator: As such, Ta-chan and Jane were being filmed as primitives who were living in the Stone Age.
Producer: That’s right. We’ve made a setup where you live in this cave.
Cameraman: Fine—much more primitively.
Producer: Oh, husband, are you hunting? O—K, turn the camera.
Producer: Ah, disappointing. You missed. (to himself) Really, wasn’t that absolutely different from the direction?
Tiger: GAU GAU (99m 97cm: A new World Record)
Editor: Thanks for the effort, all players of Japan.

125.
Jane: HOLD ON: DON’T YOU THINK IT’S STRANGE?
Jane: Well—even if a bit of prearrangement is an indispensible part of TV, somehow there’s taking it as a thing that’s completely different.
Ta-chan: This thing fell out.
Caption: Ta-chan can’t read characters.
Jane: WHAT’S THAT! THE PRIMITIVE SPOUSES WHO LIVE IN THE STONE AGE!?
Cameraman: Damn it, they’ve realized it.
Jane: HEEY~~STOP FILMING!! WHO IS THIS PRIMITIVE THAT LIVES IN THE STONE AGE?

126.
Producer: So then, should you give your money back since you’re discontinuing it?
Jane: Ri…right—
Ta-chan: Jane, what’s with the money. Strike them back; hold your pride!!
SFX: Ka—ka—ka—ka—
Producer: Fufufufu: ultimately you can’t win against the glamour of money. Alright, resume filming.
Ta-chan: Jane.
Jane: WE’RE GIVING IT BACK! BUT AS STONE AGE MONEY!!
Caption: The real money.
SFX: Hyui—n
“Giant Coin”: 100,000 Dollars
Narrator: Ye—p…she did it!!
(End of Vol. 2)

127.
The Ta-chan Disco Dance
1. Get on the stage without fail when you have your favorite music.
2. Follow the rhythm
3. Constrict your anus and send gas out your butt.
4. Show the charm of a man to the other girls.
5. Show much further male charm.
6. Follow the rhythm.
7. Stretch out your penis skin with resolve.

Ta-chan: DANCE WITHOUT SHYNESS!!
Jane: ARE THEY STUPID!!

TN: Now this was a fun chapter, pure and simple. Somehow while it did feel unfair that Ta-chan and Jane were exploited into being "Stone Age primitives" for some stupid TV production, the way that they ended up screwing with them and ultimately getting their revenge (well they wanted stone age stuff...why not Stone Age money?) made it all worthwhile.

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rajin, Nintakun

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