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translation-needs-proofread

12 Nin no Yasashii Koroshiya ―LEO MURDER CASE― 3

Makoto

en

-> RTS Page for 12 Nin no Yasashii Koroshiya ―LEO MURDER CASE― 3

Thank you to Queenofmuffins~ :D

Page 1:

I wanted to be liked by Makoto.
私はマコトに好かれたかった.

I wanted him to like me, even just a little.
ただ 少しでも 好かれたかった

Where is the sky guiding Kotarou to…?
星の導きは、小太郎をどこへ…

Everyone has gathered.
皆さん揃いましたね

…Well, then
…さて

CASE:3 Makoto
CASE:3 マコト

Page 2:

The target is Kurahashi Juurou, head of a loan shark company.
今回の標的は“倉橋十郎”  闇金融会社の社長です

He has a sadistic liking for young men. He lends the man he has his eye on, or the people close to that man large sums of money. / By requesting the man’s body in repayment for the loan, he has confined and assaulted more than 20 men, resulting in their deaths.
彼は若い男性に対して可虐的な性嗜好を持ち目をつけた男性当人もしくはそれに近しい者に莫大な借金を負わせ/その返済に男性自身の身柄を要求するといった手段を用い これまで20名以上の男性を監禁し暴行の末に死に至らしめています

The target is a blood relative of an influential man belonging to a powerful crime syndicate in the Kanto area. / The police have been unable to build a criminal case against him…
標的は関東で勢力を持つ暴力団組織有力者の血縁であり/警察関係者ともつながりを持つことから立件に至ることはないでしょう…

This must be corrected.
―…傾きは正されるべきである

The balance of fate must be preserved.
因果の秤は均衡を保たなければならない

Page 3:

Everything is in accordance with the guidance of the stars…
全ては星の導きのままに…―

Leo…will you accept the mission?
レオ……引き受け頂けますか?

Stop!!
やめてぇえぇえっ!!!!

Ahhhh!
あぁあっ…!!!

Page 4:

Don’t hurt Makoto!
マコトにひどいことしないでぇっ…!!!

Stop struggling, you bitch!
暴れるんじゃねぇ! クソ女!

Makoto!
マコトぉっ!

Mi…nami!
美…波…っ!

Hehe…what will you do, Makoto-kun? You can decide for yourself. You haven’t done anything wrong…
ふふっ… どうする…マコト君…? 君が自由に決めていいんだよ 君は何も悪い事してないんだから…

Uh…
っ…

Hmm?
ん…?

I understand… / Let her go…
わかったから…っ/彼女を放せよ…っ

Makoto!
マコト…っ…!!

Hmm…
ふーん…

Page 5:

Hehe…Makoto-kun…your eyes look good… / This is what I wanted…
…くくっ… いいねぇマコト君…いい眼だ/これだよ 欲しかったのは

Those bold eyes…
生意気な眼…

The honest eyes of someone who’s led a proper life…
正しい人生を送ってきた人間の真っ直ぐな目だぁ…

Page 6:

I want to defile them…I want to… / see those eyes distort and lose their brightness…
汚したい… この眼が歪み/光を失っていく様が見たい…―

If I’m the one you want, you don’t need Minami any more!
僕が目的なら 彼女にはもう用はないだろ!

You’re so damn pretentious, hurry up and return Minami already!
ゴタクはいいから 早く美波を帰せよっ!!

Hehe… / Hey…
くくっ…/…おい

Do it.
犯れ(やれ)

No…let go!
いやあっ…! はなしてぇっ!!!

Hey…stop!
おいっ… やめろっ…

Page 7:

Ahhhhhh!
きゃあぁああっ

Stop it!
やめろぉおぉおぉっ

Page 8:

Who are you?! / Which family are you from?
何だてめぇっ!!/どこの組のもっ…―

Page 9:

Ahhhhhh!
ぅわあぁあぁああぁぁっ

Ahhhhh!
うわあああっ

Ugh!
ぎゃあっ…!!

Minami! / Get up! Let’s go!
美波…っ!!/立て! 行くぞ…っ!!

Page 10:

Go.
行け

That’s as far as you go.
そこまでです

Whose messenger are you?
どこの鉄砲玉ですか…?

You’ve got this far…don’t think you can kill us easily…
こんな所まできて…楽に死ねると…

Page 11:

It’s not your turn yet… / Wait patiently until it comes around…
お前は今じゃない……/いずれ順番が廻るまでおとなしく待っていろ

Ah… / Your eyes! I see! You came to…
……あぁ/……その眼… そうか…! …に…きたの…か

I see… / Haha…
…そうかっ/…ははっ!

Hahaha…
はははっ…!

Page 12:

Hehe…you’re an assertive boy…
くくっ 威勢のいい子だねぇ…

Did someone send you?
誰のお使いかな…?

Did someone send me? / That’s not important…
お使い………?/…どうでもいいじゃねぇか……そんな事…

Old man…you like young guys, right?
おっさん…若い男が好きなんだろ…?

Hey.
なぁ…

Why don’t you play with me too?
俺も相手してくれよ……

Page 13:

Hehehe…Hahaha…
くくっ…はっ ははっ…ははははははっ

Amazing…it’s the real thing!
すごいっ… 本モノだっ......!!!

It’s the real thing! The real thing…a real assassin!
本モノだ! 本モノだ!! 本モノのっ…コロシヤがっ…

An assassin’s come to kill him!
アイツを殺しにきたぞ…!!

Page 14:

I saw a real assassin!
僕は本モノの殺し屋を見たぞっ…!!!

Hahaha!
ひゃひゃひゃひゃひゃ

はあっ…
Ha…

……はっ…
Ha…

うっ…/ひっく ひっ…
Uh… / Wah…Wah…

How long are you going to keep crying? / I should be the one crying!
はぁっ… いつまでっ…っ 泣いてんだよ…/泣きたいのは僕の方だよ…っ!!

Sorry…but…
ごめ…っ んなさっ… だって……

You’re holding my hand…
マコトの手が…っ 私にっ………さわって…

Page 15:

Uh…!
っ………っ!!!

You… / idiot…
お前…っ/バカじゃないの…っ…

At a time like this…
こんな時に…っ

Makoto!
マコト!

Toru-san!
透さん!

What are you doing looking like that?
そんな格好で何してるんだ…!

What if you get seen by one of our customers? If you’re going to talk, do it inside the car.
客に見られたらどうする? 話なら車の中でしたらいい

Sorry…
すみません…

Isn’t Takashi with you?
貴史は一緒じゃないのか…?

Huh?
え?

Page 16:

If you don’t know, then never mind.
いや 分からないならいい

You’ve got 10 minutes.
10分で話をつけろ

Minami…
美波…

Uh…
っ…!!

Don’t come to the club again…
もう僕の所へ来るな

Sorry…I’m sorry…Makoto…I’ll do anything… / Forgive me…I’ll do anything…
ごっ…ごめんなさいっ… ごめんなさいっ… マ…マコト…私っ…何でもするからっ…/許してっ…私 何でもするっ……!

Page 17:

I said I don’t want that! Don’t do anything else! / You don’t have to do anything for me!
それが嫌だって言ってるんだよ!! もう何もするなよ!!/お前は僕のために何もしなくていいんだっ…!!

Don’t do anything for me! Don’t come to Kabukicho again! Don’t come near me!
僕の為に何もするな! 二度と歌舞伎町に来るなっ! 僕の前に現れるなっ…!!

But...I did it for Makoto…
でも…私…マコトの為に…

You’re an annoyance. Borrowing money for me… / Did you think I’d be happy if you got into prostitution?
…迷惑なんだよ…僕の為に金借りて…/お前が風俗に堕ちれば…僕が喜ぶと思うか……?

What should I have done? How could I have…
どうすれば…よかったの…? …私…どうすれば…っマコトに…

Page 18:

Don’t come to the club again…
もう僕の所に来るな…

That’s all I want…
僕の望みはそれだけだ…

I’m…
......ごめ…

sorry…
…んなさい……

Damn it…
ちくしょ…

Page 19:

You don’t have to do anything.
何もしなくてもいい

You didn’t need to do anything.
何もしなくてよかったんだ

Just by you being there, I…
ただ 側に居れば 僕はお前を―

Toru-san…
透さん

Sorry, I think…
すみません コート…

I won’t be able to get your coat back…
回収できないと思います

You won’t see her again, right?
もう会わないんだな

Yes… / I’m sorry for the trouble caused…
はい/迷惑かけてすみませんでした…

Page 20:

There’ll be no second chance.
二度目はない

I understand…
わかってます…

Kotaro!
小太郎!

Page 21:

You were here all along? You disappeared all of a sudden, so I was looking for you…
こんな所に居たのか…急にいなくなるから探して…

What do you want? You didn’t have to look for me…
何か用かよ…別に探さなくていいよ

I’m not a kid…
子供じゃねぇんだから……

You came to the rooftop of my apartment… / It seems to me that you wanted someone to look for you…
わざわざ俺のマンションの屋上にいるなんて/俺に探してくれって言ってるように感じるけど…?

I like the view from here!
ここからの眺めが好きなんだ…!

Sheesh… / Here you go.
…全く/ほら

Page 22:

Ah! / It’s obanyaki!
ああっ!/大判焼きだっ!

[TN: Obanyaki is bean paste inside of a pancake like pastry]

Hmm…aren’t you going to eat it, Toru?
ん? 透…食べないのか?

No…
あぁ…

Ah…that’s right, you don’t like sweet bean paste…
あぁ…そうか 透 餡子苦手だったっ…―

Oh…
け……

What’s up?
…? …どうした

Nothing…

……多分/これくらいで充分なんだ…
This much… / should be enough…

Page 23:

That girl…she didn’t know how to show her love…
…あの子…愛し方が分からなかったんだな…

Yeah…it tastes gross when it’s cold!
うん…! やっぱ冷めてるとマズいな!

Uh…
う…う…

Uhh…
ううう…

Oh?
…? …あっ…

Page 24:

Oh… / This is Makoto’s money…
…えっ…/これっ…マコトのお…金…

Makoto…
マコトぉ…

She didn’t know how to show her love…she hurt me…even so, I still loved her…
愛し方も分からずに…傷つけ…それでもやっぱり愛して…

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2 members and 1 guests have thanked yukihito for this release

Queenofmuffins, Tessen

Approved by njt

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#1. by Queenofmuffins (MH Senpai)
Posted on Jul 16, 2009
Great job Yukihito!~ \o/

Now all we need is a regular scanner for the series. :3

If you don't mind my nitpicking, you could change 暴れるんじゃねぇ! クソ女! to "bitch/shitty woman" or something harsher than damn. It just sounds a bit more natural, since he's gangsta and all.

Apart from that, I read it over and I think it looks fine. ^^
#2. by yukihito (Registered User)
Posted on Jul 16, 2009
Not at all, I was the one who asked you to look over it anyway. ^^

Thanks for that, I was kind of stuck for something a bit better sounding.
#3. by Tessen (Registered User)
Posted on Jul 26, 2009
I didn't change a whole lot, but I also don't know a whole lot of Japanese, I mostly just went by context.

Page 5:

Hehe…Makoto-kun…your eyes look good…

...to...

Hehe…Makoto-kun…I like the look in your eyes…

I changed this based on the context, just for grammar/syntax/whatever. We wouldn't really say "your eyes look good" unless they actually looked good.

Page 19:

Sorry, I think… / I won’t be able to get your coat back…

...to...

Sorry... / I don't think I'll be able to get your coat back...

Since it sounds a little more natural that way. It wasn't really grammatically incorrect, just awkward.


That's it. There were a few places where I changed some sound effects (like some of the 'uh's got changed to sobs, when it was really really obvious that they were crying) but those were just out of personal preference only.
#4. by yukihito (Registered User)
Posted on Jul 26, 2009
That's okay, I agree with the changes you made.

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