View Full Version : Bettenchi - Rime-ku

God Of Fire
August 18, 2009, 08:42 AM

Author: -Hiebie- a.k.a God of Ice
Genre(s): Drama, mystery, fantasy, superhuman, action.

Chapter 1 - Little girl

Dear diary ,
Hi ! I got you as a birthday present, so here's my first try.
My name is Miyuki Nakamura. I'm twelve year old girl. I don't have many relatives, all of them I know is my dad Satoshi and my uncle Isao. My dad is a famous archaeologist, we are traveling around the world in a different places. He's working very hard, so he nearly has time to be with me. Maybe because I resemble my mom so much. My mother died the same day I was born. Her name was Ayumi. My dad is not talking about her much. But he said she was a very happy, careful and kind person. I have a photo of her in my handbag, I always keep it with me wherever I go . Dad said I have the same blue eyes and same curly white hair . I think my mom game me a part of her disposition too. Maybe I'm not so happy as my mom was, but I'm trying to be, so my that my dad would be happier too. Why I'm not so happy ? When we travel I can't find many friends, even if I do I have to leave them after ten day or less. I never went to school, my dad is my own teacher. I have many books in my room, though we travel in a caravan. Sometimes I read my dad books too, it's pretty interesting. Mostly it's stuff about ancient times, details on the artifacts he found. In free time I don't like to meet others kids, I know I will have to forget them sooner or later. So instead I walk around with my doll Karu, observing nature. I like many creatures...cats , dogs, birds, rabbits, hamsters. But I hate spiders, they freak me out. Oh , the last thing I wanted to say... I love night stars, the sky is amazing when it's clear. Here, now you know me good ,diary.
Monday. 9:20 am
...my dad just woke up , we are leaving Mashu city today. We will be traveling to Ashumi village. He said it will take a day or so... I will write you back when we get there, I want to look through windows... I'm back. There we are, Ashumi village. It's looks very nice. Everything is green around. Village is surrounded by a forest in the north and south. East and West are the entrances to the village. Village does not look very big. I'm surprised that my uncle is here too, must be an important dig area. My dad and dig team already set up the camp in the east. A dig area is a tomb, I think it's called Ashumi , just like the village. That place is plain and sandy. It's getting dark outside , I will better go bring my dad home.

Miyuki takes her handbag and doll Karu. When leaves caravan, which is standing few metres away from the camp. She walks around the camp, but no one is there.

Miyuki ( thought ) : Hmm... where's everyone ?

She moves her eyes at the tomb entrance. It looks like a fallen stone house with a big hole like doors in it. There's few electric bulbs attached outside and inside the hole.

Miyuki ( thought ) : My dad and his team must be there...

She slowly starts walking towards the entrance. Stops near it, looks around. When she looks inside and notices stone stairs down in the entrance. Miyuki carefully walks down the stairs and enters the tomb with three corridors. One is right in front of Miyuki and two others are in the right and left sides of the entrance. All corridors are lighten up by electric bulbs. She looks to each side looking for dad or any team member. When she says gingerly .

Miyuki : ...dad ?

Getting no response she decides to enter the left corridor. Walking through it Miyuki repeats.

Miyuki : daaad !?

Suddenly she hears short sound of cracking wall.

Miyuki : Uh !

Sound disappears when she looks back. Girl hugs her doll Karu tight with her both hands and continues walking till she reaches dark room with light coming from the right corner. Miyuki walks closer and repeats.

Miyuki : daaad !? Is anyone here ?

In a moment she hears her dads voice which makes her feel better and happier.

Satoshi : Miyuki ? What are you doing here ?

Satoshi was standing near a wall with many symbols on it. He was writing them into his note book. He did not turn around to look at Miyuki , he continued his work. Miyuki answered with worried voice

Miyuki : mmm... it's getting late and dark outside...and-

Satoshi interupts and answers her question. He knew what his daughter wanted .

Satoshi : Go back to caravan Miyuki. I have to finish copying . I will come after thirty minutes . You will find your uncle outside the tomb, whole team should be there already . He will stay with you till I return. k ?

Miyuki : ...but...okey...

Miyuki's face turns sadder. She looks at her dad for few moments and walks back to the corridor.
After walking half of the way. All of a sudden all electric bulbs burns out. Except one twinkling. She runs under the twinkling lamp and screams .

Miyuki : Daaaaaaad !!!

Hearing no response she gets seriously scared. And then she notices black spider on the ground moving towards her . She screams again.

Miyuki : Aaaaahhhh !!!!

While screaming Miyuki moves back and puts her leg over the leaning stone and falls back hitting the wall which brakes easily after touching . She falls into a small room and hits the ground.

Miyuki : Ugh !!!

Girl stands up, her body is trembling from the fear. She can't even say a word. When suddenly she felts something behind her. She starts breathing hard and moves her body to look who's behind . Then she turns back , she stops breathing hard, girl notices small stone post and a small box on it. She silently asks herself

Miyuki : ...what is that ?

She slowly puts her hands over the box and tries to open it. But it's no use. Then she tries to find a lock, but there's nothing similar to a lock. Only few symbols she never saw in her life. Looking around the box Miyuki tries to open it again, but this time harder.

Miyuki : Uhh... come on... open up !

By saying those words box suddenly opens and Miyuki falls back covering her eyes from the light coming from inside of the box. Miyuki tries to look through her hands, but light is too strong. Tomb starts shaking .Dig team outside felt it and so they noticed strong light coming right from the Ashumi Tomb entrance and other ruin gaps where tomb is located. Before team can realize Satoshi is still there, tomb collapses to the ground. After few moments Miyuki opens her eyes and sees the sky with many stars. She has a green necklace on her neck. She quietly says.

Miyuki : Dad ?

All of a sudden grown up Miyuki wakes up in her bed and sits over it. She's all sweating and breathing fast.

Miyuki : Uh...this nightmare again...

She rises her hand and grabs green necklace on her neck and looking at is asks herself.

Miyuki : ...what happened that night...?

Miyuki walks from the bed in bathrobe to a bookcase in the right near a room wall. She picks up an old book. "Diary" is written on the cover. Miyuki opens it and steps many pages.

Miyuki : ...long time no see... time to write something for you...

Miyuki picks blue pen , sits one the bed and starts writing

Dear diary,

Hi... sorry for not writing for a long time. I'm eighteen now. I lived with my uncle till sixteen, when I decided to return to Ashumi village , I'm living alone in a small house. It's located in the south corner of the village. What happened ? ...something I never wanted to... my dad dead in Ashumi's tomb accident that night. I don't know what happened exactly, but tomb collapsed. And I woke up outside of it...somehow, I wasn't hurt, not even a scratch. It is odd...but I had a green necklace on my neck after I woke up. I still have it. But I feel something strange about it, lately I feel cold coming from it and I feel like it wants to say something... I must be crazy...

Next time : Chapter 2 : New Life

p.s. this is a full remake of my story's first chapter. It was , heh, like 20 times shorter . Now with some experience I will make it better. There will be more chapters, it will be more detailed. More side stories and side characters. I will focus more on characters life details - their characteristics, emotions, area details. Of course it will follow the existing chapters too, but some things might be changed =] All Rime-ku chapters will be added to this thread. There won't be separated threads. One chapter a week. I hope someone will enjoy this =]