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Info Claymore Alternative Translation and Clarification

Utsune

風立ちぬ いざ生きめやも
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As many of you may know, there are many Claymore scenes coupled with long and complicated explanations or certain expressions on which different translations may provide different perceptions. This thread is intended to provide more insightful alternatives to the 'mainstream' translations you may come across of, and hopefully clear up queries from some of the more important scenes in Claymore.

Feel free to ask for clarification in any scenes, especially the confusing ones, and/or provide any insights you may have (eg. Japanese speaker, Official tranlations.)

Utsune said:
☆★☆★☆★☆★☆
By the way guys, it would be nice if future requests could at least give the Chapter number (or Volume number, whichever works for you) so I can pinpoint the scene faster :whoo
A personal recommendation, with whom you can get in touch here on MH:

[user]God Eye Galatea[/user] have been casually providing Chinese---> English spoilers on days the Chinese comes out earlier than the English. Chinese scans are usually reliable and GEG does the English flawless.

[user]gernot[/user] is our long-time Claymore translator here at MH. Highly picky about details just how you might like them. I personally find it an admirable skill to be able to translate accurately while retaining the original intended emotions.
gernot's releases: http://mangahelpers.com/t/gernot/archives/translation/

[USER]waychanger[/USER] is mangastream's translator. Not so active on here to my belief but his work is highly credited. If you're ever lost with certain dialogues, do cross-reference his with gernot's, as this would usually provide you a fuller description of the panel in question.

This post will be updated as necessary.


Note: When counting page number, I count a double-page spread as two pages!



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ACtually biki is a sound effect for theri flesh, muscles, and bones contorting. when they are accessing yoki their bodies are altering and shifting, muscles stretching and contorting, even bones altering shape.



Utsune said:
Cassandra: 塵喰いのカサンドラ
塵喰い = Dust-eater
の = particle to indicate relationship
カサンドラ = Cassandra

Roxanne: 愛憎のロクサーヌ
愛憎 = Love and hate; Love-hate (eg. 愛憎関係 = love-hate relationship, 愛憎併存 = ambivalence [between love and hate]); Likes and dislikes
の = particle to indicate relationship
ロクサーヌ = Roxanne

Possibly emphasizes that she shows stronger love and stronger hate than average.

Cassy's name is as literal as it can be. Roxanne's is also literal, but I have a feeling 愛憎 has a deeper and more implicit meaning rather than just standalone 愛憎 (see my two examples above.)
The Eight No.1s
Utsune said:
I'm going to decide on the names completely from my standpoint, and just so you know I'm not going to read any of the English translation beforehand so most of these are unbiased lol.

流麗のヒステリア = The Fluent/Elegant.Flowing Hysteria (Hi-su-te-ri-a)
三つ腕のリヒティ = Three-armed Lichty (Ri-hi-ti) (Lichte = リヒテ)
重剣のクロエ = Heavy-sword Chloe (Ku-ro-e)
天啓のシスティーナ = Sistine of Revelation (Shi-su-tii-na) (Sistine Chapel = システィーナ礼拝堂) (Revelation/ Divine Oracle; Sistine of the Divine Oracle)
愛憎のロクサーヌ = Roxanne of Love and Hate
微笑のテレサに = Teresa of the Faint Smile
万有のルテーシア = The Universal Lutécia (Ru-teh-shi-a) (or Lutécia of All Things, Lutécia of All Creation) (Lutécia = ルーテシア; notice the name is ルテーシア instead, the "té" is elongated. Not sure why the difference.)
塵喰いのカサンドラ (Cassandra the Dust-Eater)

(I've added "The" to some of them so they would sound better.)



Volume 03
Page 13
gernot said:
そしてつけられた名が微笑のテレサ
And the name she was given was Smiling Teresa
クレイモアと呼ばれる者の中で最強の女だ
Among those that are called Claymores, she is the strongest woman.
ふ。。。違うか - Hhm, maybe not
最強の女ではなく - Not the strongest woman
最強の化物だな - but rather the strongest monster
(Utsune: For some reason (I'm guessing that's the Viz translation) says "creature" instead of "monster." But 化物 literally means "monster." Minor point.)



Volume 05
Page 11
gernot said:
信じられん - I can't believe it / Unbelievable
あのバカでかいプリシラの力を目の色が変わる程度の妖力解放で上回るだと
Are you saying that she exceeds that ridiculously large power of Priscilla's with a youriki release to the degree that the color of her eyes changes?

So, it definitely does say "exceed".
It doesn't say whether she's at the upper or lower range of the amount needed to change the color of her eyes. "Just enough" or "only enough" are additions to make the English sound better.



Volume 09
Page 26
Goral said:
Would you mind looking at this page of volume 9? Could you confirm/deny that 10sigh's translation ("I am told that the factor by which my power increases when I release is the biggest out of all us 47 Claymores.") is closer to the original than: "But when released, the level of my youma power is the greatest of all the forty-seven".
gernot said:
Feel free to ask anytime...
妖力解放した時の力の上昇率は
47人中一番と言われていてな

上昇 【じょうしょう】 (n,vs,adj-no) rising; ascending; climbing
率 【りつ】 (n,n-suf) rate; ratio; proportion; percentage

So, something like:
I am told / It is said that the rate of increase of power when I release youriki is the highest / greatest among the 47.



Page 16
While skimming through the observations thread I've noticed that this has remained unanswered:


Rubel said that "the orphans from the CONTINENTS are divided and transported away". I know that plural form and singular form look the same in Japanese but I wonder whether kanji for an island and a continent are the same. If not that would be a real blunder on Rubel's/Yagi's part.
It's chapter 50, page 15 or 16 (142 in volume 9).

Utsune said:
Btw I find this translation a bit out and deceiving. I'll try to clarify before I move on:

The idea "Boys are transported to the north, girls to the east" is fine.

"In this world" is actually referring to "Everyone," so it's saying "Everyone in this world knows that" / "the world knows that" rather than "The orphans in this world are transported..."

In this certain description, the Japanese specifically says "[orphans in] this continent," it's definitely singular here.



Anyways, the term here is "tairiku," which does mean continent. I'm not sure if he means continent the way some people perceive a continent to be. A continent is a huge landmass right down to it. Though I've always thought he's simply referring to "orphans in this land," now that you mention it, I think it is entirely possible (and likely) Rubel made a mistake with his choice of word (which hints at the existence of a world outside,) if this is the blunder you're referring to. (IMO If someone with no knowledge of the world outside says "tairiku," it would have been fine. But knowing Rubel is from the outside world, the usage of the term here most probably have other implications.)



Volume 12
Page 8
Cyclone said:
The name is "Zem" or "Zemu" twins - not "Zema".
The Manga Editor made an unfortunate typo.



Volume 14
Page 16
shrimpy and gernot said:
Miata (to Clarice): Run away... Don't die, Mama.



Volume 15
Page 27
Utsune said:
When talking about one side having Dragon Kin as allies, the term is 引き入れ, which means "drawn in" or "pulled in". This is a likely suggestion that the Dragons are being used under some sort of condition. A Chinese has the similar idea (拉攏) implying something like "to manipulate somebody into your side (for advantageous gain.)"

Also, when they say "(can be considered) Dragon Kin," the actual term is (まるで)龍の末裔 which means "(can be consider) Descendant of Dragons." It's just a minor point, but the term "Kin" is a bit broader, while "Descendant" is more specific.

(Chapter 126, Page 10)
Finally, it's "Asarakam," and not "Akasaram" or "Asakaram," lol.



Volume 19



Volume 20
Page 12
Utsune said:
"酷く手を焼いた"
酷く = severely, awfully, terribly
手を焼いた = unable to manage/control, have difficulty with, be at a loss what to do with someone

Translation: "She was dreadfully difficult to handle"
"And then there was Cassandra..."
(Discussion - No solid answer)



Volume 21
gernot said:
Goral said:
BTW, it's optional to use the words in brackets right? And it's OK to use only presence or only absence? Binktopia used everything but if she was asked about presence she would also tell them about absence :).
Well, the Japanese uses 有無, which means "presence or absence", but that is much more cumbersome in English than in Japanese. I think it's okay to leave it away. If you want to include it, a more natural way might be "No one asked me whether or not her youki had disappeared".
Goral said:
Also I would add a comma before "that" here:
I guess from next time on, we'll need research, that will destroy them more from the foundation of their mind
This part looks a bit unclear to me. I assume that Rimuto intends to destroy their mind more than usual so that every Claymore is like Alicia?
Well, the meaning changes a little if you add a comma. Rimuto wants "research that (enables them to?) destroys their minds...". Again, I probably tried to stick too closely to the Japanese. Taking more liberties, you might say something like "I guess next time, we'll need to research how to destroy their minds more fundamentally"

On a separate note, there's also still one point that I'm trying to discuss with some of my Japanese friends. On page 12, I translated:

組織の者にも多くの負傷者が
It would cause a lot of casualties among the organization's men too

But it might mean that in fact already they have already tried and suffered casualties (負傷者 refers to injured people, not dead people). The grammar is ambiguous, so I'm still discussing how to tell which is correct...

I've updated my translation to reflect this.
gernot said:
Goral said:
p. 13
I didn't think it was necessary to answer

As Piggy noticed answering implies there was a question but since there was no question maybe "I didn't think it was necessary to tell/inform (you)." would be more appropriate?
It does sound better in English, but the Japanese says "answer"... up to you.



gernot said:
作業は終わった=The work is done/finished/over
つい今しがた三体共外へ放った=Just moments ago I/you/he/she/it/we/they... released them to the outside.

I translated it as "my work", just like I translated the previous frame with "your work", but you can change that if you want. However, the second part is pretty clearly "I" because no one else is mentioned. Whether that really means that he did it personally, or whether some subordinate did it for him, is anyone's guess, but that's what it says.



Page 9
Viz said:
"And in that fight Roxanne Ripped out her own right eye"
German volume/ Bayuga said:
"and in that battle roxanne lost her right eye"
mangastream said:
"and in that battle roxanne lost her right eye"
Japanese volume/ Utsune said:
"ねこそぎ失った" (nekosogi ushinatta.) "ushinatta" simply means lost, and "nekosogi" means to be uprooted (as in uprooting a plant). Effectively means "thoroughly/completely/totally lost," but you can't tell whether it implies she did it herself or not
Page 15
Utsune said:
The English narration describes that "[There are] days of training when they would share the same pillow..." The Japanese phrase is 褥(しとね)を共にする, which is literally "to share a pillow/mattress/futon together." The typical usage mainly refers to sleeping together with a sexual connotation, but it's not commonly use (I think it sounds somewhat 'proper' and 'archaic.' A good analogy would be, it's very similar to how they say in the Bible "a man lies with a woman.")

Whether Yagi's intention behind the phrase is literal or figurative... that's up to you to decide :p
Page 16
Utsune said:
"...ability to completely hide her yoki from a particular target"
English Vol: "...ability to completely hide her yoki"
The Japanese phrase is "...特定の者に対して 自身の妖気の完全消失という 特異な技..." The key phrase is "特定の者に対して," which means "against a specific person."

I find it strange the English Volume would miss out the phrase "from a particular target." It's as simple as it could be to add four words at the end. :oh
Page 23
Utsune said:
Roxanne: "あなたなんて
あれをしなきゃ ナンバー5並の実力なのよ"
lit: "The likes of you
without that, [your] ability ranks with/at No.5"



Page 27
gernot said:
"北での7年間は技術だけを鍛えたわけではないはずだ
The seven years in the North weren't for training my skill alone!

Literally something like:
With respect to the seven years in the North, it's not like I trained only my skill, in theory / I'd like to think / supposedly.

something like ["it's not like I trained only my skill" is how it's supposed to be], but it's hard to translate. At least I can say for certain that she's not asking a question.



Volume 22
Page 28
Utsune said:
Daae: 元々一度死した者が都合よく戦士として蘇るなどありえないんだよ
あいつらはただ覚醒を前提にした生前の姿を借りた別物だ

元々 = From the start
一度死した者 = Those that have died once
都合よく = Conveniently
戦士として = As warriors
蘇るなど = Be revived or the likes
ありえないんだ = It is impossible

あいつらは = They are
ただ = Merely
覚醒を前提にした = On the premises of awakening (T/N: the feel is more 'proper' and 'scientific' rather than saying "destined to awake.")
生前の姿 = Form/figure/appearance/shapre during lifetime
借りた = Borrowed
別物 = Different beings/things

Daae is saying, Daae is saying, (1) It is impossible to revive anyone from the dead (2) and make them behave like normal warriors do.
(1) They are completely different beings. (2) They only appear like they do when they are still alive. (3) But they are certain to awake.



Page 17
gernot said:
Frame 5
血と悲鳴のとびかう殺戮の丘
Blood and screams were everywhere on that hill of massacre.
(lit.: The hill of massacre where blood and screams fluttered about.)
その中で私の視線をとらえて離さない一人の異質な戦士の姿…
There, the strange figure of a single warrior caught and held my eye.
Frame 6
恐怖にひきつる戦士たちの中で
Amidst the warriors stiff with fear,
そいつだけがただ一人微かに笑っていやがった…
she alone was faintly smiling...
Utsune said:
"strange figure of a single warrior..."

I would personally put it "single figure of a strange warrior"
Not a big deal though.

Also, the "There,..." is literally "Within [the massacre]"
Page 29
gernot said:
Helen: "...Since it seems she ate all of that big one that she had been fighting."
Utsune's note: Original phrase is "闘ってたでかいのを喰いつくしたみてーだから..."
喰いつくした is the key phrase here. It means "ate up," "ate everything," "ate all." If you split up the components in the phrase, it's "eat" + "run out," so in the literal sense, everything of Roxanne is finished up, and gernot's "ate all" is the best choice of words.



Volume 23
gernot said:
Yeah, I couldn't find anything on the SFX site either, but JDIC had something.

The definition is useless, but the example sentence fits our case.

ガシガシ(P); がしがし (adv,adv-to) (on-mim) boisterously; roughly; briskly; (P) [Edit][Ex][L][G][GI]
 
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