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I do, when I'm not too tired/lazy to go to gym after school. It's not that close so that doesn't happen too often. And weather is too "don't do it" to jog around the block, and I've been wanting to download some fun workouts like zumba or something good for mind like yoga, but I have limited wifi so I have to go to a starbucks first. I've decided to stop obsessing about weight until I return home though as I may or may not have put myself into starvation mode so I'm upping how much I eat ready to accept a few kilos until I stabilize.
Afraid of slipping into ED territory. I have motivation now but who knows how long it lasts.
Or just do some regular stuff that doesn't require living the house nor internet...a few situps, squats and lots of stretching
Substitute sugar with something healthy.
We put or house on the market two days ago, and had an offer yesterday. I've never been attached to this house, but it makes me a little sad to leave it. "Don't know what you've got til it's gone" sort of bullshit.
The machine at my local train station deposits train tickets and change into the same slot. On Tuesday I paid the exact amount I needed to buy my ticket and reached for the slot after I paid. To my surprise, I discovered $2.00 that was apparently left there by someone who used the machine before me.
Of course I took it.
Money is money.
I confess I deeply hate how self-conscious and shy I have become. Like, that's one of the biggest regret I have - caring what others thought of me in middle school and as result, becoming shy and self-conscious because I didn't want to look like an idiot or something.
I confess I want to stop caring what others think of me again, and just be myself, but it's hard. Like, I'm good with people, so I really have no reason to be shy or self-conscious even with my speech impediment, but I. Can't. Help. It. But I"ve made progress.
Self-conscious may not be the word you wanted to use, more like scrutinize/question yourself?
I'm forced to take some therapy sessions currently, and it became a major topic.
- Stop looking for faults somewhere, but yourself. Mistakes are part of every human being.
- Envy and grudges are bad for yourself, look out for things that are good in your own life and be thanful for those.
- Stop holding on to stuff, that anger/provoke/annoy you or keep you from progressing/advancing in your aims.
- Stop complaining, it just creates negativity. Instead look and better yourself and your environment. The german word has the double meaning: one being burdening you/pulling you down and complaining.
- Don't try to control everything/every situation, as every human, animal or even things have a live of their own. Little is clear cut, people you know look at things differently, life is full of suprises.
- Evaluating, judging, criticizing has often no effect, the universe doesn't care what you think about it. Feel and enjoy the world, percieve it as it is, Pay attention o what you like, that stuff will make you happy.
- Stop caring/regreting/overthinking so much, the past is unchangable, the present is what's important. Just try to do better next time, recognize the next chances and act, that should be what you should concentrate on.
- Negative soliloquies can be one huge pain in the ass. They often lead to depression, destroy your confidence and force you to think about negatives. Next time your catch yourself having those, force yourself into encouraging ones.
- Nothing is pefect, always try to better yourself instead of aiming for a perfect version immediately. Perfectionism can be a fear, that stops you from achieving your goals with indulgence, joy and inspiration.
- The fear of consequences is often misplaced, e.g. if you overthink stuff instead of just giving your opinion, can often lead to a worse situation. Don't deny your own importance, your creativity and humaneness. Be brave and open your mouth.
I starting shutting down, now people run over me. I am pushed around, when I know full well I can shut down those people down. Well, I'm sick of it, I'm going to talk, everyone makes mistakes, I just have to learn the art of control. I'm tired of feeling dead.
I confess that I've been drinking more than I'd like too.
I mean, it's not like an alcoholic, but 1 year and a half ago I used to drink once a week, last semester I was drinking 3 times a week, even 4 depending on the week.
And now with the world cup and no classes there was a couple of weeks that I drank 5 times. It's just... I get bored to be home alone at night and every invitation I get is to drink with some friend.
I'll try to scale it back to once a week next semester... problem is that "doing nothing" gets me bored and when I'm bored I get anxious.
I also have problems expressing myself but it comes from feeling awkward and/or embarassed. You know when things sound logical in your head and when you hear the words come from your mouth it's somehow not what it was supposed to... Yeah.
---------- Post added at 04:41 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:19 PM ----------
Sometimes I just want to reprogram myself. I know it's all me and I can change anything I like but it's sooo hard.