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I'd prefere to get married because mostly when we get old we will need someone who can take care of us and help us when we need him/her, but being single is not bad but only for a specific period of time, then you naturally will find yourselves wanting to be committed.
And also both have their problems but if you really respect and love the other party , then both of you can solve the problem.Being married doesnt mean there will be no freedom , well ofcourse it wont be as when you were single but you can get to hang out with your husband/wife anytime and it will be romantic.
So that is why i prefere to be committed than single,as in the future it would be lonely i agree
Hmmm... Single or Married? Meditate on this I must.... Ok, let's give this a shot.
For me, being married means spending (hopefully) the rest your life with someone that can put up with you and everything there is about you like your bad habits, temper, weird traits, etc. It also means sharing, your laughs, your tears, your income (unless your pre-nupt says otherwise), your space, and of course, your freedom will be limited. Do I want all of that? You bet I do!
You wanna know why? Wouldn't it be great waking up next to someone that you love every morning and knowing that person loves you for who you are and what you're going to be and you love that person for the same reason?
heh well this is kinda interesting well me belives that in being married as a way to unite 2 different lives into one and even if being married you can have all the freedom you want but you have to share it to a certain point.. and for me being single you can still have kids....heh love childs but it still may give you a feeling of loneliness (which i dearly hate) so i would like to get married in near future but still got shit load of time as a free man heh my greedy self can never let me die alone.... if i die some ones comin with meh
congratulationsOriginally Posted by Tamerlane
The freedom that I'm talking about being a single is the freedom of going shoppings for 24 hours with no worries and so on. That's a freedom that marriage cannot guarantees someone. People have less freedom when they get married. They have obligations, duties to perform and commitments to stick to. However, being a single grants you endless freedom and youth that a married perso cannot experience. That's the freedom I'm talking about.
Other than that, marriage does have its good sides. At least you can proudly tell the world that "I am HIS" or "I am HERS." Marriage is a sign that this one person in the world had vowed to share his/her life with you no matter in whatever circumstances that you might be in. Be it sickness, wealth, etc, at least there would be one person in this world that will be there for you, that will care for you, that will help you go through that phase of your life. Single's partner however can just leave once the deadline is over. Once the hype of getting a new girlfriend/boyfriend is over, he/she can just dump you like that without thinking twice. This won't happen with a marriage since the opposite sex had taken a vow and that vow is meant to be kept "Till Death Do Us Part".
So...um......it is still hard for me to pick a stand in this issue.
Gotta go with married (and not just because my wife's lurking about). The inner peace you have from knowing you have someone who loves you unconditionally and will always be there for you far outweighs the benefits of "unlimited freedom". I imagine that to most guys, "unlimited freedom" means "I can jack off whenever I want and leave the towel out." XD
I will die a spinster!
But before that will have a number liasons, with which all end in tragedy. Perhaps have child and raise it as single mother... hmmm. Then when I grow old I will by an old haunted house, prolifically perm my hair and wear all black. After that, I shall buy a load of tortoises and become the Mad Tortoise Witch/Lady.
Only then will I allow myself to die x3
Lol, that was plotted out by a friend of mine some time ago.
Nah, marriage doesn't appeal to me. I'll probably be a career-driven person.
I hear what you're saying Leen. Fact is however, we each, in our everyday lives, have obligations and duties and commitments, whether these be in the workplace, with our extended families and friends, or our spouses. Many people (not aiming this at you) are under the misguided impression that marriage is 'give and take' and therefore 'restrictive', when the truth is that we must 'give and take' with everyone we work with and know. Give and take is a part of life as much as it is a part of marriage.Originally Posted by Eileen
The bonus of giving and taking in marriage (or living together) is that you do it because you want to; because you love someone enough that you want them to be happy and you'll do what it takes to achieve that - and they do the same for you.
The other side of the coin to being single is that once you reach a certain age, being single is a very lonely existence. I know, because some of my friends who are now approaching their 40s and who put off marriage to concentrate on their careers, now cannot find anyone who they are compatible with (all the good one's are taken, they tell me) and long for companionship, nevermind love. All their friends are married with familes and have no time for them anymore, and they feel isolated and unloved.
Don't mean to sound like the wet blanket brigade there and certainly that is not everyone's story! Some people are perfectly happy never being married. But I'm just presenting the flip side to the 'freedom' of the single life, which often has an expiry date.
TrueOriginally Posted by Kadoman
FactOriginally Posted by Kadoman
Contradiction to overall context, especially the "no restrictions part".Originally Posted by Kadoman
Well, that's how it is. Marriage is a formal agreement, same as any other piece of paper people sign.
People can doo pretty fine, give and take without any restrictions and duties without formality.
For instance, look at this MH community. We all give and take, but nobody calls this a marriage. Only because they can go and leave no trace, leaving only memories and posts behind.
You brought to light another side of the dice - children.
Even if marriage isn't "a weightbomb", children sure are.
Blargh ...... I disgress.
Wet blanket brigade ? How can I argue with that ? =POriginally Posted by Kadoman
I think some people want to stay single because they aren't 100% in love with their partner, or they just might be lazy and too busy with their lives like Kado said...well a lot of people want to get married too but can't because they don't find their lifelong partner...
This (for me) is a big fear. I don't want to live my whole life alone. I don't want to come home after work to a quit, empty house. I want someone there to welcome me home, and ask me how my day was, and I want to be able to do the same for someone else. If all of my friends were married, I know that they'd be with their families more often than not. I wouldn't want to be the one feeling left out and alone. But also, I don't want to be in a marriage where I'm unhappy or my partner's unhappy. Even if I'm only living with someone and am not married, I just don't want to be alone. I think that many people have this instinctive need to be with someone, and to just have someone backing them up unconditionally. Now, maybe I'm naive to believe this, but I do think that there is someone out there for everyone. It's just that you have to find them.Originally Posted by Kadoman
As far as people being too busy to love someone or be married, I think that if you truely love someone, you'll find a way to make it work. If not, you could be passing up something that's very important. Even if you are busy with your career, you should still let yourself have enough time to actually live your life.
But that's me ^^
Edit: Post # 600 ^^
That's sounds like what i do almost everyday, good thing there's always my cats to greet me.Originally Posted by LadyHatake
No you're not, i also think there's someone for everyone.Originally Posted by LadyHatake
I think this one is easier said then done. But if you are a very busy person and you can make time to be with your family or love ones, it'll really make a great difference in your life.Originally Posted by LadyHatake
People often worry about this, but when you find someone you are compatible with, it honestly is something you never have to think about. The people I know who are in unhappy marriages, sadly, should never have married in the first place. But it's not as easy as it seems to make the correct decisions in life - in fact, it's one of the hardest things. Plus, people can change over time, for one reason or another. But generally, if a couple starts off harmoniously, and both people are reasonable people, they stay that way. When two difficult people get together, that's when you get tension.Originally Posted by LadyHatake
Asolutely agreed! And my poor friends have only realised this now, later in life! It's good you realise it early on! You sound worldly already Katy! And you can find true love at any age! My hubby was your age (actually, a bit younger) when I met him and we've been together nearly 10 years now!Quote:
I don't know why buy maybe some people can really live as a hermit forever. Some people do like solitary life. And maybe some of these people are really happy to be alone. Why must when a person gets old without a partner, then they are called as "an old bookshelf??(Kado, right?)?? I don't like people have prejudices on people who don't get married and all that. That's not fair for them.
Why must we be married? Not trying to say that I'll remain single for the rest of my life, but I'm really glad to be alone right now, in real life that is, not e-life. I feel VERY happy being able to stay away from home, from every single people that I've ever known in my life. I don't have to worry about my actions here, I don't have to have any responsibilities towards them. I feel great staying alone in a whole empty apartment and for the past 17 years, I never have any intimate relationship with anyone. I like expiry date so that after that expiry date, I can move on. I don't want to drag something with me forever. >.> Marriage stops all that. Obligations come from your heart. If you can't even adhere to commitments all along your life, how can you be committed to your spouse? Can love really change everything?
Then again, I'm speaking from a 17-year-old teenager curious of adulthood. XD Points on marriage are great but at the end of the day, I still believe that it all comes down to a person's belief, preferences and interest.
This is true, though, having said that, these people seem to form the minority in society.Originally Posted by Eileen
Yeah, you got the gist of it Leen; people are said to be 'on the shelf', meaning they haven't been taken yet!Quote:
I don't think we must be be married/live together. But I think there is something deep in our natures that compells us to seek out companionship. I have found, in my short experience of the world, that it is inevitable and that even people who resist the notion (as I once did) sooner or later, find themselves changing their minds.Quote:
I can't say why, but it seems to me that human beings can endure many hardships, but loneliness is something we cannot endure.
Of course you are! You're still young and have much to do! Some people marry early. Some marry late. Some don't get married at all and just live together. And still some never find anyone, and while others are crushed by this, some are pleased. There is no hard and fast rule for everyone. But the majority of us eventually end up with someone.Quote:
And you change as you grow older too, and have more experiences in life - good and bad. I will tell you with certainty that how you think when you're 17 is vastly different to how you will think when you are 30. I'm expecting to think quite differently again when I'm 40. Oh, you're still relatively the same person (though not in my case, I'm vastly different for various reasons) but your opinion on things changes - I think that's that a good thing! It's how we develop as people!
I never would have thought it possible but yes! it does! It really does. People who are in love will undego the most crazy personaltiy changes! And they will make the most uncharacteristic decisions - for better or for worse! It's really a powerful force, just like they say in the movies and manga! Everything you once thought just goes flying out the window when you're in love! It's a truly wonderful thing (except for when you lose it and then it became a truly painful thing! It's all part of life).Quote:
But you know, I'm just expressing my personal opinion from my own personal experience and that of my friends and family - and also, work collegues and people I have known or observed over the years and in different countries. Someone else might have an entirely different perspective based on their own experiences!