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Thread: Mirai no Kakera ~ Fragments of the Future

  1. #1
    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner Hanzatsu's Avatar
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    Mirai no Kakera ~ Fragments of the Future

    Mirai no Kakera

    Fandom: Naruto
    Title: Mirai no Kakera ~ Fragments of the Future
    Rate ou Classificação: PG-13
    Type: Action, Romance, Multi-chapter, Canon.
    Spoiler Warning: This fanfiction happens in the 3 years gape between the first part of the series and the second (between Naruto and Naruto Shippuden in the anime) and may, therefore, have spoilers.

    Disclaimer: Naruto is a property of Masashi Kishimoto and Sueisha and I do not own rights over it.

    Chapter 0 ~ Prologue

    Quote Quote:
    Somewhere lost in the middle of a forest, in an open area between some trees and under an extreme hot Summer Sun, a young and short girl digs a little hole.
    "What a blazing Sun... I'm gonna melt!"
    She picks something from her pocket. It's a small item, small enough to fit her palm. She squeezes the small item while closing her eyes in a deep thought, not for a moment, but two. Smilling, she puts the small item in the hole and starts covering it. When she finishes, she cleans the sweat from her forehead and, once again, smiles.
    "Time to go..."
    She gets up and, when she was going to re-enter the forest, she stops. A sound of something quickly moving in her direction can be heard. She freezes, her feet like roots stuck on the ground when she sees a ninja with a covered face jump out of the forest and reach for her, without even stopping.A few seconds pass, but they feel like hours. That ninja's hand, of whom the face she did not even see and still it terrifies her, covers her mouth. A kunai, holded in the other hand, pointed at the forest.
    - One step and this beautiful girl gets it! Go back to your village!
    A few more seconds pass and the silhouette of a boy, with long dark hair in a ponnytail, starts apearing at the edge of the forest, merged between the trees. The girl sweats more than ever.
    The ninja's hand, nervously trembling, slips a bit down the girls face allowing her to fly a word past his fingers.
    - Shikamaru!

    Hi everyone, this is my first post in this forum and also my first fanfic.
    I'm hopping to get some opinions and to trade ideas and comments ^w^
    Hope you guys help me. I wrote around 15 chapters already and i know the way i want to go with the story so you can relax, i'm not gonna quit midway =3
    Hope you enjoy it.

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  3. #2
    News Writer 有名人 / Yuumeijin / Celebrity Zeltrax's Avatar
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    Re: Mirai no Kakera ~ Fragments of the Future

    Quote Quote:
    A few seconds pass, but they feel like hours. That ninja's hand, of whom the face she did not even see and still it terrifies her,
    depending on who the girl is, since I see shika mentioned here my first thought is Ino, I mean, In my opinion I don't think Ino will be that scared, but if its someone else then its understandable.
    I can't really say much with such a short passage

    Hello and welcome to MH!
    With that, you said that you have written 15 chapters, is it somewhere on the net or something? I'll love to read it.

  4. #3
    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner Hanzatsu's Avatar
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    Mirai no Kakera

    Chapter 1 ~ Nobody

    Quote Quote:
    - Oh! Do you know this girl? Perfect!
    The face covered ninja takes a look at the girls face, now washed in salty water. She blinks her eyes several times so they can dry a bit and looks in the young boys eyes. He now gets out of the forest and takes to steps into the open area, incisive, serious. His eyes meet her eyes for a moment and yet his expression remains the same.
    - I think i told you to...
    - Kill her if you please! She's nobody!
    The sentence makes the ninja hesitate for a moment and, taking advantage, Shikamaru makes a pair hand seals. Nothing happens.
    - Stop it! Stop it I said!
    He takes the kunai all the way to the girls neck, and the tip touches her. The girl can feel a drop of blood dripping down the side of her neck. The ninja starts saying something but, at that moment, a young boy with long dark hair wearing a kimono and a sort of cape and with big white eyes appears from the forest behind the ninja. The boy grabs the cape and throws it in the air in front of himself. He then moves his right hand in the cape direction, like if he was attacking the cape.
    - Hakke Kuushou!
    A chackra wave, like wind, opens the cape completely launching it in the air and causing it's shadow to cover all the area between Shikamaru and the enemy.
    Surprised by the move, and acting solely on instinct, the ninja presses the kunai to the girls neck, trying to kill her but, the distraction stops the ninja from noticing a swift sharp shadow pointing out of the ground next to his feet. It quickly hits the kunai stopping it from going further than skin deep and throwing it in the air.
    The ninja immediately lets go of the girl and jumps to the only place, of the non forest area, where there was no one, only to be hit by the right hand of a pink haired girl who was waiting in some trees nearby. She hits him with an amazing strength and launches him a few meters forward, unconscious.

    A few more seconds pass and the young girl's legs give up, she sits on the floor. Her tears are too many to even try to contain and her hands cover her face, ashamed, frightened. Her hands were still full of dirt from all the digging and her face gets a little dirt.
    Shikamaru slowly gets near her and speaks in a low voice.
    - Yu-chan... it's over... you are safe now...
    Yu raises her head and looks him in the eyes. She then looks to the two people behind him. The dark haired boy, Neji, and the pink haired girl, Sakura, and gets all flustered and red.
    - Shika-baka! - She slaps Shikamaru's right cheek speaking and crying - Don't ever say I'm nobody, don't say I'm nobody!
    The cry is shut by a forth person that appears from the forest. It's a tall, slender, tanned girl with amazing light green eyes. She looks at Shikamaru with a serious look in her face. She then lifts a finger and makes an horizontal move with it, in the air. In the place where her finger shadow was projected while doing that movement a black line is drawn. From that line several shadow blades rise, similar to Shikamaru's previous attack. These blades raise quickly from the ground, passing next to Shikamaru, Neji, Sakura and Yu and hitting the unconscious ninja in his vitals.
    - Rei! - What the hell are you doing? - Shikamaru exclaims, not believing in what the girl did.
    The girl quickly walks towards Shikamaru, stopping with her face only a few centimeters from his, looking him in the eye, extremely angry.
    - Her neck! You let my sister get hurt! After everything... after everything you are still the same coward... and don't call me Rei ever again, my name is Reisui, u shall call me that!
    She helps Yu get up and together they enter the forest.
    - She killed him! We needed Information... she might even be from the group we are after! We cannot let them leave, they...
    Before Neji can finish what he was saying, he's interrupted by Shikamaru.
    - We are not gonna do a thing... I'll take full responsibility for what happened... let's go...
    Sakura looks at Shikamaru's face, he seems a bit disturbed and it's the first time she sees him like that.
    - Shikamaru-kun, are you...
    Before she could finish the sentence Shikamaru notices the recently dug dirt and starts digging. He suddenly stops, taking something from the little hole. The item is small enough to fit his palm. Because of Shikamaru's position they cannot see what the item is but they can see how shocked his face looks like after what he just found.
    He puts the item in one of his vest pockets and stays still and silent for a moment, hitting the ground with his fist immediately after and screaming.
    - Ahhhhhhh! Dammit, why now?

    Quote Quote:
    Yu ~ Hot water
    Reisui ~ Cold Water

    Hakke Kuushou ~ A move that requires the Hyuuga to collect chackra in his hand palm and then expelling it through a palm strike. It seems the Hyuuga creates an explosion of wind in one direction.

    Kage Nui ~ Movement Shikamaru used. It consists on giving the shadow a sharp edge and then projecting it out in the direction one wants.

    Unknown Reisui Jutsu ~ Similar to Kage Nui, the sharp edges or blades are projected from a line that the shadow has drawn in the floor

    And here is a new chapter, mew =3
    Hope you like it and comment so I can evolve as a fic writer.
    Probably in my next chapter i'll post the "Databook 1" about one of the new characters with drawing, character music theme and some extra information that will not be revealed in the fic. Nya! ^w^

    Thank you for your comment and your kind words, mew :3
    With this chapter it's quite obvious it isn't Ino. It's one of the Original Characters of the fic.
    Yes, the chapters are in another forum i usually go to, but it's in portuguese and, because complete translation feels unnatural, i end up rewritting most of each chapter, sorry, you'll have to wait ^.^ x3

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