I loved the three references to 5 Elements in this chapter... Too bad "it's not the time yet" to have it in English...
To get nitpicky, in page 6, I'd rather put something like "He's gone. I'll claim the money." "The money gets split." Also, in page 16, "each news" is wrong grammar-wise... How about something like "each entry"?
(Right... Arsonist... *unok goes find a better online Spanish-English dictionary*)
Last edited by unok-kun; November 23, 2010 at 10:32 AM.
Just a little counter-nitpicking: I don't think "each news" is incorrect, look it up on Google and you'll see how many results you get.
Though, you know when something sounds wrong to you at first, but then it doesn't sound so wrong anymore? :/
Last edited by unok-kun; November 23, 2010 at 06:20 PM.