First chapter and prologue script are here! See below for details!
A Manga idea I thought about but these are just the basics.
This story tells about mutated humans in a fictional world, the world is in risk of falling into ruin if a sacred item isn’t returned to its original place.
An old man with visions of the future known as the Philosopher wrote a journal about the New World, this journal is so sacred it is considered the New World’s life source because of all the information it holds. One day this journal goes missing and slowly the New World breaks down into chaos.
Other story elements
The New World
The New World is known as Lux(Not sure how many countries it will have yet but not a lot)
The way life is lived on Lux is that
-The wise teachings of the Architects should be followed
-Every individual human is educated in every way
-This world has modern technology
-The animals themselves are based off fantasy design, most are docile and kept as pets
The Sanctuary is a building on high ground where the Philosopher's Journal is kept, the book itself is watched over by a group of wise people known as the Architects
The Architects are the only humans on Lux who are ever allowed to see the Philosopher's journal, it is said that their ancestors helped to form Lux and that all their knowledge has been passed down, and these people are extremely wise
Each country has its own King and Queen who equally watch over their country
Sorry for the delay, I have come back with more factors and characters.
Now I have a main setting. The fictional country where this story starts is called Paroga, I won't say based because it's an adventure type story and settings are due to change from time to time.
The main city itself is called Station City, (I'll be explaining this later) and it is home to many residents including the main characters.
Background story of the city
There is a tragic history about this country. Many years ago this country was going to send aid to another country in need. The way they were going to do this is by sending a Plane with the supplies on board.
What happened however was that upon the day of take-off, many residents of Station City had gathered to watch the Plane depart but something wrong happened. There was an explosion within the Plane and the fuel tanks which contained rebirth energy (Explanation below) exploded destroying the aid, and making the energy radiate outwards passing through the hundreds of residents there affecting them.
This incident only affected the people with blood type A, They began to notice their bodies functioning in abnormal ways but this scared everyone. The King of this city himelf ordered that his men kill all those with blood type A however he spared a few and kept them in quarantine. This group of people were forced to work within the many stations of Station City (This is where the explanation comes in)
There are stations within this city that provide the people with basic essentials. So far there's a Water station that supplies the city with water, an electric station for electricity and a building station where new structures are made and shipped off to be built into the city
Rebirth energy is the energy source that is used to power the modern technology in this world, the energy resides within the inner layers or crusts of this planet. The way it is extracted is by massive square machines with huge metal flat panels that sit on the ground. The flat panels attract the energy towards them, and the huge machines store this energy for later use. It is called rebirth energy since we know that energy cannot be destroyed, only transferred so in a way it is always coming back to us.
The affected blood type a humans have learnt how to manipulate the rebirth energy within them as well as adapting to the changes in their bodies, this is mostly for defense or to make their lives easier.
The main protagonist of the story, years ago Noel's parents were affected by the radiation incident, during the mothers' pregnancy its effects passed onto him through development stages. When the King had ordered his people to kill the mutated humans they had already killed Noel's father, his mother had no choice but to go into hiding. Whilst she was on the run she had a vision telling her that her son had to be born and live no matter what. Noel's mother gave birth to him on the streets assisted by another mutated human but she had to escape as the king's men knew they were in the area. Noel's mother quickly hid him in a discarded box then she took off praying that her son might be found by someone good. Eventually her prayers were answered as a person happened to hear the baby who the king's men had fortunately missed, the person found Noel and took him into care.
The way the inherited radiation affected Noel's body is that he can heat himself up to intense degrees which his body can withstand, this gives him the ability to use fire. Noel became aware of this ability and has developed it for many uses.
Still in care Noel is forced to work a low pay job to sustain himself and his carer. He is unsure about his ability and wants to seek the reason why he has it.
Zion is the second main protagonist in the story and plays a vital role along with Noel. He loves his job and loves it even more when he works with his parents, he is always listening to music with his headphones on and hardly changes his stripy black and white zebra top, he has a dark complexion.
Zion also has an inherited ability. He is able to amplify the electrical nerve pulses that travel through his body to a degree that he can generate electricity from his body, he has worked this into a fighting technique to deal with troublemakers at his workplace. Because of his ability he was selected to work at the Electric station with his mother and father.
Zion becomes like a defensive brother towards Noel, he is always there for him when he is in trouble and supports him through life giving him advice when he is down.
A Kind female 18 year old orphan who works at the water works assisted by a mean perverted supervisor.
Tallulah's parents were with her and her older sister Marina when they watched the launch of the plane. After the incident they thought their lives would be normal, Tallulah was left to be looked after by her older but jealous sister whilst their parents went off on their second honeymoon to a hotel outside of Station City.
But soon after the family realised they had all been affected by the radiation after noticing changes in their body. Unfortuneately this was at the time when mutants were being hunted down, Tallulah's parents were found and killed in their hotel room. Marina who was getting sick and tired of her younger sisters beauty which got her more attention than usual found out about her parents' fate.
To make matters worse Marina abandoned Tallulah purposely on the streets without telling her that her parents were dead. Tallulah was eventually taken in by a man who was quite a freak, he turned her in to the government but they said he could be her supervisor whilst she worked at the water plant.
Tallulah's mutant ability has changed the properties of her skin to be able to become like water. e.g. http://fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/i/20...hiteyellow.jpg
She can manipulate water and can breathe its oxygen like a fish so she can never drown. Also she sports impressive swimming abilities.
Although Tallulah's body can turn into water she doesn't entirely become water like the logia abilities in one piece, she can still be cut in her water form which forces the area around the cut to return back to solid skin, wherever she gets cut she is unable to change that area into water until it is healed.
A girl who got her name because she always wears a special violet rose in her long black hair given to her by her father, what's special about it is the fact it was grown with fertiliser containing rebirth energy so the rose never wilts. Violet is an extremely shy girl who keeps a lot to herself and hardly talks, she doesn’t spend a lot of time at home with her parents since she prefers to be alone most of the time so she often wanders around the city exploring new things.
Violet’s ability was brought on herself, she was the only one out of her family affected during the failed launch of the plane (Explained in the story). After being exposed to radiation the pigments in her body gained the ability to bend light rays around her allowing her to turn invisible like camouflage but there’s also a second stage to her power where she can generate defensive shields around her by manipulating the rebirth energy in her body and also they can strangely float.
More updates coming soon!
Sorry about all this text information, I can't draw and I don't have the time or an assistant to help me learn how It's annoying because other ideas that have actual drawings get more attention than mine but this is my only way of putting my ideas through.
UPDATE CHAPTER ONE AND PROLOGUE
Prologue (Script version)
 Indicates what can be seen or actions etc.
## Indicates Narration
“” Indicates speech
‘’ Indicates thought
// indicates a flashback
**indicates character profile
[The scenery is inside a royal castle sitting on top of a large mountain, we are inside one of the castle’s many hallways. A Messenger can be heard running down the hallway huffing and puffing. He continues until he reaches a large red set of double doors, he grabs the handle and immediately pushes the door open barging in desperately into a room]
Messenger: “Your highness! I bring bad news!” [He looks at the king who is facing away from him on his armchair]
Messenger: “I just received word from the Architects; they say it’s gone missing!” [Pauses] “It’s the journal, the sacred journal is missing!”
Messenger: [hears the king sigh] “Your highness if news of this spreads it could cause chaos!”
King: “No one shall hear of this news, we must keep the people under control; we must keep them under control!”
Messenger: “Understood your highness, I swear upon my family that I shall not reveal a single word about the disappearance of the journal!”
[The man leaves the room leaving the king on his own]
King: “This world and its inhabitants, if they hear of this it’ll cause a global scale calamity! Those mere humans must be kept under control, who knows what they’ll be capable of?” [He gets up and looks out of the window at the view of the cities] “Something must be done!”
# This is the fictional world of Lux, it has four large major countries spanning across the oceans, and the countries lie within the northern eastern and western regions of the planet. The northern country called Paroga is home to the most inhabitants out of the four countries alone.
The King of this country has been keeping order over his people with assistance from his Queen, but now they face a major problem and that problem lies within the humans. A major incident changed the face of a certain City and the aftermath of that incident still exists to this day. The humans affected by this incident are kept under close watch by the king’s trusted people but now that this sacred journal has gone missing the entire world could fall piece by piece.#
[we see the sun rising over the horizon casting morning sunlight onto the landscape, now the scene is focused on one particular city]
# Station City 1 is now going through its early awakening process, the other cities rely on Station cities, they are the home of all sources required for a settlement to run; heat, water, electricity, building materials and many more are provided by Station Cities across the world. This particular one in Paroga has a history of tragedy however, and that history is etched into the paranoid mind of its King. #
[now the scene is focused on a derelict looking house. The wind blows through one of its open windows into a bedroom and ruffles somebody’s hair, he is lying in bed but then gets up and sits on the edge waking up]
Height: 6ft 1in.
Hair colour: black - skin colour: white
Dislikes: unfair order*
[Noel gets up and he leaves the room walking down the creaky stairs, now he can smell something cooking. He walks into a dirty looking rundown kitchen. He turns his head and sees a tall young beautiful woman with long black hair standing in front of the cooker however her clothes are stained]
Bella: [smiling] “Finally awake are we?”
Hair colour: black - skin colour: white
Dislikes: people hurting Noel, wearing a bra*
Noel: “I don't wanna go.”
Bella: [frowning] “Too bad ‘cos if you're not gonna bring any income how are we gonna pay the bills?!”
Noel: “I know same story, but seriously that guy is a jerk!”
Bella: “He’s paying ya’ so keep at it, just be grateful you're having fried squirrel today!”
Noel: [looks disgusted] “Urk your cooking is always off.”
Bella: “What was that?!”
Noel: “Nothing I'm staying home.”
Bella: “No you're not; I’ll kick your *** out the door if I have to!”
Noel: [smiling] “You're too kind to do that!”
Bella: “Oh really?”
Noel: “Yeah otherwise you wouldn't have taken me in.”
Bella: “I told you already, that freaky king forced me!”
Noel: “Deep down in your heart you wanted to, I know you did.”
[He slowly leaves the room]
Bella: “Noel get back here Noel!”
[he ignores her and continues walking]
Bella: “So that’s it huh? You're just gonna become a quitter? I'm sure that’s not something your mum would want is it?!”
[Noel stops and looks at her about to cry]
Bella: “Oh Noel I'm sorry.”
[She runs to him and gives him a hug]
Bella: “It’s just that I need you and you need me, I wish I’d never gotten into this situation but sadly that’s the way it is,”
Noel: [trying not to cry] “Why was I born like this?” “Why am I such an outcast?”
[She strokes his hair just like his real mother used to]
Bella: “This is how a mother would do it.” [She hugs him closer]
Noel: [muffled] “Bella, Bella!”
Bella: “Sorry Noel.”
[she let’s go of him]
Noel: “Change that shirt at least; I don't wanna be choking on burning smoke and your chest!”
Bella: [smiling] “Well are you going to work?”
Noel: “Guess I have no choice, especially if I want to eat more fried wildlife!”
[He leaves the room heading back upstairs whilst Bella watches him]
[Bella goes into the rundown living room which has boarded windows and barely any light. She turns on the TV and the news channel is showing]
News reporter: “And in recent news today the king was questioned as to why he failed to turn up to the Littlewood primary school in Valen city, after promising to visit to award a student with a medal for drawing a successful concept for a new memorial built for one of their teachers who died earlier this year. Upon questioning however the king refused to answer any questions claiming he had more important business to deal with.”
[Noel comes down into the living room watching the news also without much interest]
News reporter: “The King refused to tell us when he’d like to be spoken to again so who knows what he has in store?”
Noel: [yelling] “Selfish paranoid *******!”
[Bella gets scared and jumps up making her chest bounce]
Bella: “Oh you're dressed?”
[she looks at Noel who is only wearing boxers and trousers as well as his damaged trainers, no top.]
Bella: “You're going to catch your death of cold.”
Noel: “Oh really?”
[Noel leaves the room]
Bella: “Say hello to the boss for me!”
[Noel walks out of the derelict house closing the door behind him; from here he begins his journey to work]
[Noel can see the other fancy houses in this city, he hates the fact that his one is barely holding itself together. As he waits to cross the road he sees a modern looking motorbike with spokeless wheels zoom by with a proud rider on it]
[he is now walking down a dirt path keeping a low profile but other people can see him and start whispering amongst each other]
First person: “Have you heard about that guy?”
Second person: “Some say he’s extremely dangerous.”
[Noel ignores them and walks on; he stops near a park and happens to see a mother, father and their son playing on the swings. This triggers a memory in Noel’s mind.
/ We see Noel standing outside somebody’s front door which is open, and a woman is standing there arguing furiously with a man outside who is standing next to Noel./
Woman: [depressed and angry] “I just can’t look after him anymore I had to get rid of him!”
The man takes Noel away from the woman and she angrily slams her door shut; now the man is speaking to Noel
Man: [angrily] “You’re causing too much trouble for the agency! The boss will deal with you when we get back you little piece of crap!”
[Noel is crying whilst being dragged helplessly by the man]
[Noel’s flashback ends and he leaves the family wishing he had his parents still. As he nears his destination the wind begins to pick up]
[Now Noel is at a large power station, he reaches the entrance and can hear loud buzzing sounds coming from the pylons above. He presses a buzzer and someone opens the door smiling upon seeing Noel’s face]
Person: “Noel Victor how’s it going brother?”
Noel: “Hey Zion how’s it going?”
Height: 5ft 9in
Hair colour: white – Skin colour: black
Likes: working with his parents, his close friend Noel
Dislikes: injustice, rule breakers and the king
Noel: “How’s work at the electric plant?”
Zion: “You know the same old, my dad ordered a new games console for the house, and we’re gonna be the first two to play it!”
Noel: “And I'm gonna win whatever we play!”
Zion: [smiling] “A bold claim brother but I've been practising.”
Noel: “Yeah right, practising to lose.”
Zion: “Hmph what brings you here anyway?”
Noel: “I need to stay here for today if that’s alright with you!”
Zion: [shaking his head] “Ah sorry man can't do that, the boss is coming around and he doesn’t like slackers!”
Noel: “Hey I don't slack!”
Zion: “Yeah but you don't do electric works either; you belong at the steel welder’s place.”
Noel: “You know I hate that guy!”
Zion: “Sorry Noel no can do today.”
Noel: “Man I hate going to work.”
Zion: “Maybe later.”
[he sees Noel looking sad]
Zion: “Don't worry man I know how you feel but they can't keep us in quarantine forever just because of who we are! Someday we’ll bust outta here!”
[Noel turns and leaves the open field]
Noel: “I don't know how you cope with that noise anyway it sounds like a swarm of bees!”
Zion: “What can I say? I'm used to it!”
[he closes the door as Noel heads off]
Noel: “Dammit work it is.”
[the wind picks up again blowing pieces of trash around Noel; he keeps his head low not seeing the object floating above him. It continues to flap around then lands on the ground in Noel’s path]
[Noel steps on the item and realises it so he steps back and picks it up. It is a piece of A4 paper with a painting on it, the painting looks like a dry wasteland with a cloudy red sky, the sun can barely be seen. Noel then spots an orange fire flickering in the middle of the picture on the ground; the fire seems to reach out to Noel like it’s telling him something]
Unknown voice: “Noel!”
[Noel responds to his name by looking around but he can't see anyone at all, putting it down to his imagination he folds the paper into his pocket and heads off realising he is late for work]
[in another scene we see a person running desperately as if they're being chased, they stop at a corner and go around it now heading into a small square car park with a few cars in the bays, but then the person stops running after seeing three intimidating figures standing in their way]
First guy: “Hah there she is!”
Second guy: “It’s the freak we've been chasing!”
Third guy: “Trust you to run straight into us you filth, we’re gonna set you right!”
[we can now see who they are talking about; the person is a beautiful looking, long blue haired teenage girl. She steps backwards scared as the three advance on her]
First guy: “You're a disgusting shame to mankind who doesn’t deserve to be here; because of you people are so paranoid!”
Second guy: [drooling] “Heh she has such a big rack we should do something to her first, but she might freak out and change into some monster!”
[the girl screams and turns around running away but then she trips and falls hard to the ground]
First guy: This just makes the job easier!”
[the other two close in on her]
[from far Noel hears the scream and immediately runs to the car park. Now he can see the girl lying on the ground and the three thugs]
First guy: “Hey look who’s this guy?!”
Second guy: “Oi you move on outta here, there's no use you getting involved.”
Third guy: “Yeah this freak is ours!”
[Noel glares at them with a serious manner]
Noel: [threatening] “What did you just call her?”
Third guy: “You heard me, we’re dealing with this A-fect freak, and she doesn’t deserve to live, just like those other A-fect rejects!”
[they all laugh but Noel gets furious]
Noel: [clenching his fists] “How dare you!”
First guy: “Huh? Why do you care? You're not a disgusting specimen like her!”
Noel: “Anyone who calls us freaks doesn’t deserve to live!”
[suddenly Noel’s body starts producing steam, the others watch as his body heats up and his skin starts to glow hot orange]
Second guy: “H-hey his body, i-its’ heating up!”
Third guy: “What’s he doing?!”
[now Noel’s hands begin to glow white hot as his body temperature accelerates]
[suddenly his body bursts into flames which surprises everyone, the flames are doing no damage to him at all]
Third guy: “He’s on fire!”
[Noel makes a move and heads for the first thug, fist clenched and ablaze]
Noel: “Combustion punch!”
[the others look shocked as Noel punches the thug direct in the face, his burning hot fist scalds the thug’s face as he is lifted off the ground and sent flying, crashing into the ground now his skin is peeling off]
[the other two thugs panic and each take out a knife then slowly advance on Noel]
[Noel glares at them with fiery orange eyes as flames leak out of his mouth; he bares his fangs then takes one deep breath]
[he aims at them and breathes a long huge stream of fire which catches them and sets them alight]
[the two thugs panic as their bodies burn but then they stop, drop and roll putting the flames out]
Noel: [looking down at them] “Don't you dare call us freaks again!”
[they get up and run away as well as their leader thus saving the girl]
[Noel puts out his flames and cools down his body temperature; he helps up the girl who is wearing a blue frilly dress, black stockings and black shoes]
Noel: “Are you okay?”
Girl: “You're one of them too?”
Noel: “Yeah I'm an A-fect alright and that’s my ability, I can raise my body temperature to extreme levels to the point where I can manipulate fire by using combustion.”
Girl: You were there, when the incident happened?”
Noel: “Yeah the day that changed our lives for worse!”
[she steps back fixing her clothes a little]
Girl: “Thank you for saving me, my name is Tallulah Greenhart; my job is at the water works.”
Noel: [grinning] “You have a pretty name.”
[Tallulah blushes and smiles]
Noel: “My name is Noel Victor and I work at the steel company which is where I should be right now!”
Tallulah: “You have a job too? So you're not a runaway?”
Noel: “Nah but my job sucks, plus I live at a crappy home with a crazy carer, do you have parents?”
Tallulah: [looks at the floor then up again] “I don't know, the last time I saw my parents they were going on holiday when I was young, all I remember is living with my sister then after that things changed.”
Noel: “I definitely know what happened to my parents, they were killed by the Kings followers! When my carer told me a few years ago I swore I’d never forgive that man, and now he has us people in quarantine forced to work nonstop, treating us like outcasts!”
Tallulah: “I wish I knew where mum and dad were.”
[suddenly the two of them hear a phone ring; Tallulah looks down her top and puts her hand down there searching for something. She then pulls out a modern looking mobile phone which she flips open, all the while Noel looks shocked at what she just done. The phone is now projecting a holographic image of a scruffy looking man in his thirties with messy hair]
Man: “Tallulah you ***** where are ya’? Work started half an hour ago!”
[Noel pays attention to him]
Tallulah: “B-but I thought I had a lunch break?”
Man: “Well too bad get your fat *** back here pretty girl, I miss seeing you!”
Noel: [angrily] “Is this guy serious?!”
Man: “Who’s there with you?!”
Tallulah: “He’s just a friend boss.”
Man: “The only man I should be seeing you with is me understand? You're nothing without me you're just trash!”
[Noel clenches his fist]
Noel: [angrily] “What did you just say to her?”
Man: [looks at Noel] “Who are you punk? And why are you with this *****?”
Noel: [yelling] “Screw you I’ll burn your perverted face off with my hand!”
Man: “Grr I don't have time for you, Tallulah get your wide *** over here before I send a hunter to kill ya’!”
Tallulah: [sadly] “Yes boss.”
[she hangs up and puts the phone back where it came from but Noel isn't happy]
Noel: “You work for that *******?”
Tallulah: “Unfortunately, he is my boss at the water works, he’s such a perverted freak I hate him but.”
Noel: “But what?”
[Tallulah turns away from him]
Tallulah: [sadly] “I have to go back.”
Noel: “Back to him? No way he can't treat you like that!”
Tallulah: “He’ll kill me if I don't return, he’ll turn my name in to the King and have me killed and you too!”
[she walks off but Noel holds her hand gently making her turn around and look at him]
Noel: [seriously] “Listen to me that man deserves to see your face no more, I won't let you go there and be mistreated by him, you deserve better than this!”
[he lets go of Tallulah and she smiles at him]
Tallulah: “You're really nice to me.”
Noel: “Thanks but why do you keep your phone in your bra?”
[immediately Tallulah blushes]
Noel: [feeling stupid] “Guess you don't wanna answer huh?”
Tallulah: “If it weren't for you I wouldn't be able to leave that man, I’d have nowhere else to go.”
Noel: “I understand how other A-fect’s feel, our lives are a struggle but I'm fighting against it!”
Tallulah: “Really? How?”
[Noel is about to answer but then he feels something in his pocket. He reaches in and takes out the paper painting, unfolds it and studies it carefully admiring the orange fire]
Tallulah: “What's that in your hand?”
Noel: [coming out of a trance] “Huh? Oh its nothing.”
[he puts the painting away]
Noel: ‘But it is something. And I want to find out.’
[Tallulah looks at Noel curiously]
Noel: “Tallulah do you want to come with me?”
Tallulah: [puzzled] “Huh?”
Noel: “Do you want to explore? I've always wanted to explore the outside world; I want to go beyond Station City!”
Tallulah: “What’s this all of a sudden? You mean you want to leave the perimeter?”
Noel: “Yeah I want to go out there!”
[he points up to the blue sky]
Tallulah: [gasping] “That’s crazy we’ll get killed!”
Noel: “I know but if we want something so badly sometimes we have to do what we can to achieve it right?”
Tallulah: [thinking about it] “Well truly I don't want to go back to that freak, and I want to find where my parents are!”
Noel: “So you do want to explore?!”
[he is getting excited]
Tallulah: [giggling] “Yeah I guess so, come on Noel let’s explore!”
Noel: [excited] “Yeah!”
[he gives a leap into the air as Tallulah watches him laughing. The two then set off heading in a straight direction]
I'd like to hear any additional ideas, suggestions, positive comments, constructive criticism and artists who are interested in doing the artwork for characters.
Prologue and Chapter one are here!
Last edited by Theorangefox; February 06, 2011 at 06:25 PM.