Well, this last Saturday I was randomly picked by the school to participate in an interactive little lesson with kids form all of the other school years. I am in my final months of finishing high school, but this issue was dealt with while I was in school as well. It is one of the most complex modern little things I believe our society and culture have produced, but they also are responsible for raising awareness of this issue. So at least there is progress.
The main issue at the debate was the word conflict, what I did not understand is that that was used as a preamble to get to school bullying. And I was amazed at some of the social workers at the school when they said that this was a really prime issue for the school, I never thought they took it seriously, apart from the main goal of education, it was really a nice thing to discover this at least may be starting to be dealt with.
But the whole conflict thing was really the key issue, I think from the minor of disagreements in today's world come the biggest sorrows. And maybe after that comes the other typical reasons as to why bullying starts. It was decided that the main cause however for bullying was not the Bully, instead the people who encouraged him.
What is everyone's stance here? I think this issue covers the three main things in the title of this thread. Care to discuss and elaborate your views.
So the principle should be that kids should have a place to hide in fear rather than have kids not bully others? That sounds just wrong lol. Bullied kids don't necessarily want places where they can be left alone, I would argue most of them plainly don't want to be bullied and want to roam the places they hang out at without fear of being assaulted by other kids. Now, I don't think there is anything wrong with having places where people can be effectively left alone however such a thing should be used under the principle that the users would willingly seclude themselves, not under the principle that they use those out of fear. The idea you mention would actually encourage kids that don't want to be alone to be alone and seclude themselves which simply cannot be healthy.
I think the issue of bullying is totally separate, and difficult to target because you can get kids gaming the system (e.g. a girl says she was threatened with scissors by another girl when nothing happened.) There's no good solution. Maybe smaller classes so teachers can observe a smaller number of students and work with them individually?
The purpose of this thread is to discuss bullying not pseudo-philosophical ramblings about dominance hierarchies, how society controls peoples lives through school, or other such juvenilia. Please be prepared to discuss this topic in a mature manner or do not post.
I have always found that the insecurity and lack of control are the source of bullying. The bully generally does not feel they have control over their own life and has deep, personal insecurities. Bully's are generally trying to make themselves feel better by hurting others. The best way to deal with a bully is to stand up to them. Throw a few punches if necessary. Getting in a fight is always a good way to get other kids to back off.
Last edited by Kaiten; April 13, 2012 at 11:50 PM.
Being bullied is by no means a reason to not go to school. Kids need school for human contact, friends and to learn how to function in a society on top of the normal academic stuff. Simply removing a kid from school altogether would result in a kid incapable of functioning normally in society. It would actually be better in the long term to teach the kid aikido and have him stand up to bullies.
Now, to be fair standing up to bullies is not necessarily something easy specially if the kid in question is already starting to develop issues due to being bullied. Heck, standing up could make the bully stop as much as it could make him beat the shit out of the kid(which take us back to the whole aikido thing). As far as this issue goes I don't feel teachers do enough or the right things about it. I guess ultimately teachers can't actually stop a kid from bullying another (detention so far has never achieved that and expulsion could be considered too severe) however they could easily take a different approach about it such as helping the bullied with tips to deal with the situation (say, tell the kid to learn aikido however that would seem like the teacher is encouraging violence). I would think there is also the issue of different types of bullying, verbal abuse is common however if the bullied's response to it involves aikido things are going to look bad for him(of course, there wouldn't really be any reason for someone familiar with aikido to be bullied). Then again, perhaps aikido is not the solution to everything as bullies should be able to learn such a thing for themselves, what happens then?
From the point of view of an authority figure (at this site), there has to be consequences for actions. A line has to be drawn between good behavior and bad, and their must be consequences for crossing the line. Words and warnings only work the first time, without tangible consequences the transgressor will know that they can get away with whatever they want. That is all well and good at a manga forum though, in real life providing tangible consequences can be very difficult. Detention may not work well with school bullies, but public schools don't always have other options. Parents and local government will often push back against escalating punishment, even if the student in question has a tendency towards violence.
There is nothing wrong with losing a fight. I lost a fight to a bully in middle school and guess what? He never picked on me again. In my experience bullies prefer easy targets. Fights are risky, you risk suspension when you pick a fight. Most of the bullies I knew did not want the risk or the spectacle, even if they won. Better to pick on an easier target that won't fight back. Truth be told it is as you said though: standing up for yourself is very difficult. I happen to have a rather ornery, pugnacious personality. Standing up for myself comes naturally. I am well aware that is not the case for most people. Sadly, many of these same people are not prepared to seek the aid of authority figures either.
That much bullying is verbal is a very good point. I have never checked statistics but I imagine verbal, emotional bullying is far more common than physical. And often as bad. Verbal abuse is often more subtle, and goes unnoticed loner, than physical bullying. The target is often less likely to stand up for themselves and less sure of whether to seek an authority figure for help.
I would argue verbal bullying is actually worst than physical one. The emotional tool would appear to be larger IMO (words hurt) and the humiliation from it would last longer (say, as in making you feel actually stupid or as if you are less than others). Physical bullying has its tool on the victim however in most cases it would come down to simply being smaller than some other kid or something else which is not ultimately exceedingly important or something you can simply grow out of. It would also seem easier to teach kids aikido than to wisecrack to say the least lol. The bigger issue here would be perhaps that verbal abuse might not seem like such a bad thing to bystanders. The one performing the abuse and people watching might think it was merely a joke however the one receiving it might take it dead seriously.
I think the bullying is very connected to the society and to have parents behave with / teach how to behave their children. but since the world itself isn't so united,it's difficult to prevent those actions.
^ I agree with that mostly.
Recently in mediahistory class a interesting topic raised up. That is the underlying hypocricy in parents teaching their children to behave. They condem bullying and forbid it just right, if the discussion comes directly as something concerning bullying has already happened. However the favorite past time of many families around the world is to sit on front of the TV on saturday evening watching Idols. And completly diss and talk bullshit about the singers (especially about the weirdoes on 1st rounds). Well, not only Idols, but many other entertainment formats seem to enforce or even encourage such behaviour too. Completly trash talk about Big Brother contestants or celebrities or whatever. Sometimes fairly, sometimes just sake of trash talking. This itself is something that is very similar to bullying and certainly makes kids having hard time taking "bullying is wrong" seriously.
Though it must be noted, that people and the production companies have noticed this problem. Talent show judges don't diss people that harshly anymore as they used to before. And such formats as Voice, where the judge bullying and public humiliation is eliminated and instead focus on the success, talent and skill is the main factor of the show are getting more and more popular.
Last edited by Ustegius; April 21, 2012 at 11:05 AM.