@ M3J - Being concerned for a friend is fine and all but I think I agree with Pat here. If your friend is really like that then the only thing that would teach is to learn from his mistakes.
But it's better to save someone before he falls down a cliff and breaks his limbs, isn't it? That's only the devil in you wanting that person to get hurt for not following your advice, it's a selfish reason. If you don't want a person to get hurt, you better not put him through unneeded suffering to reach that goal.
Yet, I have that certain person too, did all I can, so did every of his friends, so did everyone in his family. I admit I gave him up already, but what can one do... damn it! I lecture but can't follow my own advice. He's free to do whatevery he wants, seems to be an execuse, but that's how our society works between adults.
Last edited by Schabrak; January 12, 2013 at 08:10 AM.
One can certainly have a chance at saving someone from doing a big mistakes, doesn't mean it will work for everyone though. That someone has to change/comply to save him/herself thought. Not going to work with people with big of an ego or those who have lost their shame somewhere back. Or at least admit to have any problems at all.
Last edited by Schabrak; January 12, 2013 at 08:46 AM.
One of those many vices to get rid of. haha
I didn't mean we should keep our opinions to ourselves and watch our friends suffer.
Like Gary said, you can be honest with him and tell him what you think about his plans, the rest is up to him. We can't force our advices on anyone, being smarter than someone doesn't give us the right to interfere in that person's personal affairs.
And I wonder if Milly's talking about himself in third person.
The problem got resolved, but it was a day after he finally listened to our advice. Basically, I was right about everything that would have happened. And he kept being naive. -_-
You'd definitely get annoyed if your friend kept on fucking up and not listening to you, despite whining a lot and you trying to help him out. I even told him he's an idiot and needs to stop listening to himself, and start listening to people that have his best interests at heart, considering how he's always wrong, and we're usually right.
I've complained about this guy to Zat before.
Leave him be, MJ. Everybody falls the first time. He would get beaten pretty badly, get shaken, but will find a way to live through.
If someone is smart enough, that person won't take a friend's / other person's advice for serious. That's exactly the same thing with being a kid. Words will never get through people. They will just keep living their life the way they perceive and believe or reject.
Not to change the topics from M3J's situation. I'm just rambling on from mines.
I'm just using this place to vent -
Its best to be honest and get the point across...
Even if I have to hurt someone.
Was talking to the same girl from before she called me cause she wanted to talk.
I figured I made my point clear yesterday but she wanted to talk about it.
As the talking got started and whatever, she explained things with me about her and why this and that.....
Before you know it, she said 'how do you feel about me?'
I told her again that 'I said this yesterday, its still the same, I don't have 'that kind' of feelings for you'.
Before that point she said, she wants only someone from my ethnicity - she don't want a black guy or white (She's African with west Indian mix). She feels blah blah - not going to make this a long post.
Maybe it should have been sugar coated somehow... I dont know why I care about this so much - maybe its like Herms says about me being 30 lol.
This time it seems to have hit home - cus I heard it in her voice and the phone convo ended shortly thereafter...
There is not much thing to say over it, Charlie. Honesty should be kept above the blurred concepts like politeness and it looks like you have been polite enough. I would definitely give up more than a bit from it to shatter the delusional view people may have.
He's a dumbass. A goddamn idiot. That is why he needs to take the advice of people who know better than him. His friend two days ago found a legitimate person willing to buy a Twitter account for $600. But the dumbass friend chose the guy for $1,000, without background check, and said his account got stolen. He was naive and stupid. Then he said the thief would fix his account, despite at least two of us telling him to report it, and that jackshit will happen, and that the thief will try to sell it. THe next day, I was right, and he finally took action and got his account back. This wouldn't have happened if he listened to his friend.
I find it hard to leave anyone alone when they need help. I'm too nice for my own good. But yeah, I should just stop giving him advice or trying to help him out. I was successful for few days, suggested something, and ended up giving him advice that he ignored for a day.
The only reason why there isn't more expletives is 'cuz I'm a mod.
Personally, I would say not to marry her if you don't want to. She's being an idiot about marrying. Don't ever marry because you feel pressured, you won't be happy. Focus on being happy first, because marriages won't last if the two parties don't love each other or feel they have to get married. Don't worry about your age, focus on finding the right person, whether male or female. Age is just a number, a spouse is someone you have to live for a long time, who can take a lot of your money if she divorces. D:
Make sure you and whoever you want to marry will be happy in the marriage, love each other, and have no pressure to get married before you marry.
A lot of females and even some males I know are in their thirties or late thirties but not married, and they're happy because they're living their lives the way they want, even if they do sometimes feel lonely. But we all feel lonely one way or another.
I'd slap him out of his comfort zone to hell. Just let him fall. He will come to understand who he cares about and whether he wants to live or not.