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Because she's a classmate. And in a relationship. On long run I think it could have become awkward. Also I got some hints that she might be a bit... unstable. And I have to admit the fact that she is older than me also bothered me a bit.
Friends with benefits is a bad idea. I believe you made the right decision Ust. Someone always get hurt in those situation; it may not be you or right away but it'll happen and feelings evolve and get crossed and shit gets messy and confused. Not to say it's not fun but think long term.
In an open relationship, she said. Butit would have still been weird I think. And if she were gross it would have been a much more easier decision.
I confess I'm starting to hate people more and more. And as much as I want to trust them I keep being disapointed.
I give people the chance to become close to me and come out of my shell only so they can hurt me afterwards.
I'm starting to think having no friends is the best thing to do...
I'm sorry to hear this BBB - I can only say it seems like you've done all the right things and only met the wrong friends / people.
If those guys only hurt you then these guys are not your friends and then they're not worth a dime. They seem like the kind of people that take advantage of others.
I hope you don't give and find some friends that care about you with sincerity!!
And if hatred comes in, it'll cast aside every other emotion step by step, until you really start to think of your entire life as a real empty shell and you'll be forced to look for a replacement. In that desperation, you'll fall victim to the self-alienation.
That is, to the degree that, one day, you'll not even be able to say who you really are and who you aren't.
One can simply refer to this as a suppressed pain that only rises to the surface occasionally.
As much as you think there is nothing to surpass the feeling of being hurt by those who you trust for real, that's merely an illusion.
It pales in comparison to the pain I'm talking about.
For the record, this was a confession.
I disagree, actually. I'm happy being on my own/alone and I don't hate people. I just think people are stupid, and rightfully so. Many people anyway. It really depends between people, I guess.
Happiness cannot be measured that easily. You feel happy either because you do what your soul demands or -if you're attached to your ego- you do what your ego demands. What I'm trying to point out isn't necessarily the hatred towards other people. It can be towards your life or its composing elements (soul, self, ego, thoughts, emotions), or against any kind of situation you need to cope with.
The problem is, it doesn't show itself with a furious attacking manner outwards. It drains you from inside until you are totally emptied. A sneaky, sly attack of the highest degree, to say the least.
Or, you can feel happy because your life is where you want it. Not necssarily related to soul or ego, but to ambition or goals as well. I think you're bein too negative.
Of course, I don't give a shit about life and prefer living it having fun, so fuck hatred and all that jazz. Bananarama should be the same, but in a smarter way.
I don't know. Maybe you're right in calling me negative.
I used to call myself a crybaby a while ago.
It's just I find the kind of lifestyle too ignorant and motive-lacking in reality. In the end, perspectives are different and no matter how hard you try to shape a person as you wished, he'll end up where he's supposed to be.