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I don't know. Some people are assholes and you can't exactly cry for them because they are such bad people.
One of my grandfathers is one such person. He's still puttering along, but honestly, I can't wait till he goes. Then that side of the family will become like ants swarming a dead insect. They'll turn on each other and we'll be out of the firing line.
Maybe I should be more concerned about somebody dying but... nope. I'm more concerned about my personal safety and that of my close family from those horrid relatives. I don't need people trying to wreck my career. Lord knows how they've tried.
(The other grandfather was awesome. He worked on satellite components for spacecraft that have landed on other worlds. Despite how he passed away before I was born, he inspired my career trajectory towards NASA.)
Honestly, I confess that my parents' paranoia is driving me insane and I'm not sure if I'd ever miss my father...
Well, my parents were golden, bless em.
My parents have always been understanding, liberate and so on. I happen to have had a normal childhood, sort of. But I've had a happy childhood. Truth is though, my father has always been this nerve-wracking person, he got it from his father I suppose, whom by the way I haven't talked to in centuries, it's like I don't have any grandfathers anymore. He has even hit me several times when I was a kid. But except for that, no real problems with him. I just could never sit and talk to him like a normal person, so I was always like "at least I have my mother, I can always talk with her, she understands". Lately though they're both hard to talk to and I guess it's the age problem or I dunno.
Well, my parents used to hit me when I was kid. But I don't resent them, I think it was the right thing to do(I think that I would keep doing bad stuff if I didn't get a lesson from time to time).
My relationship with my father isn't very good, but he have no idea of it. He's like a stereotype asian father from the internet memes and put a lot of pressure on me.
I knew that I had to go to a public college instead of a private one since I was 6 years old(here i Brasil, public colleges are better and harder to get in than private ones). There were time when I got a B and he would say that my grades were dropping, stuff like that.
I can't have a very good conversation with him, since he usually twist my words and don't get my point(I'm not sure if he does it willingly or he just have a seriously problem with interpretation).
Sometimes I'm telling something simple/useless like "I'm pretty tired today, since I started to go to the gym" and he just answer me wit something like "These are the challenges of life, it isn't easy, but you have to work hard"
I'm like "wtf?"
The worse thing is, he have no idea about it... I tried to talk with about it being a problem, but he couldn't understand it.
At some point I just gave up, I don't care anymore. I fail on some classes, he starts to give me a speech over the phone and I just turn my mind on something else and when he's done I just say "ok, ok, whatever".
The worse thing is that he still lean on him for money, so that's pretty shitty. I long for the day that I'll have enough money on my own and I wouldn't need to answer to his expectations.
I confess that when I was little, I used to cry every time I saw my father. xD
And really, I think violence is never the way to make someone learn.
I feel for you, Moa, I have problems communicating with my father too, and I also gave up at one point. The thing with him is that he is always right, no matter what blibberish he is saying, no matter how ignorant he is on a certain topic, and never lets me talk. Conversations with my father are just his shouting in between my words, and his endless monologues.
At least my father doesn't have any real high expectations of me, both my parents for now want me to get a unversity degree and overall want the best for me. I'm sorry your father is treating you that way, I could never understand the high expectation thing.
I confess that it is not okay that you guys were physically hurt when you were kids. That's never okay. Ever. The worst my mom ever did when I was little was spank me, and it wasn't even that hard. And I was scared shitless of her all the same. You do not have to become violent with a child to have their respect. I would never be with someone that thought it was okay to physically harm his or her child.
Neither of you guys deserve any of that. It's wrong.
Spare the rod, spoil the child
I think you will look back on it someday and think that maybe you should have tried to understand your father a bit more.
I think it's important to have both parents present for a healthy childhood.
Unfortunately, I did for a while but now I don't so I really think it's important to cherish them when you still have them. It really doesn't matter if they don't understand you or don't talk to you as much, just knowing that they will still be there for you is enough.
You'd be surprised at how having both parents present in your childhood doesn't mean they're really both there.
Have you seen the video where the girl gets beaten by her dad for playing a video game? That kind of violence is no good.
But things like spanking are, in my opinion. Sadly, my parents hitting me didn't make me any less of a dipshit. I do think I deserved to get hit though, considering I was a hellion. I never understood the whole mild discipline thing parents nowadays do, they need to be harsher.
My father has had difficulties in his life, and I understand that, but he always takes it out on me somehow. He had a rough day, he finds something to shout at me. He says something unreasonable to me while my mother is in the room, he shouts at me when we're alone because my mother argued with him about his behaviour. Sometimes, even if I'm just breathing, I'm at fault. My brother has also seen through that, but not as much as I do.
The problem I have with my father is not so much that he isn't a real father figure to me, unless being grumpy counts, it's more that I can't communicate with him like one person to another. He doesn't even know me, and doesn't even seem to want to get me. And I only get along with him when he's in a good mood. The best way to get along with him is to stay out of his sight.
So you could see why I might not miss him when I start living away. Which I'm dying to do btw.
My father never beat the shit out of me.. he always sit down and explained why he was going to hit me. It hurt, I cried and in 30 min I was ok
I understand that some people physically abuse their children and some people freak out about it, but I don't think it was the case with me.. I totally understand that I deserved that and how it helped to construct who I am today.