ch4- From reading it, I immediately got the impression that the old man was Brenton and the lady in the end that met with him was either Kej. It was fun to have a senile-type old man that corrects historical texts . I guess he was sent to by Kejuta to provide the group with clues in how to find the Lashival.
ch5- I had always found the twin's "child play" quite annoying, especially the girl; I was really rooting for Owain to kick an ass or 2 and show them that they've become too reliant on their magic. I hope their punishment is fitting. What was the light though? were they being tracked or...?
You're right about Brenton but wrong about the lady friend. ^^
As for the light, when Kejuta discovered the twins' mischief, she asked Hessin to summon a burst of light, telling them that she knew what they were doing and that they're going to be in big trouble for it. You'll find out more in the next chapter.
I did think it could be Hessin, but I figured he would have to be there present to use his power; didn't imagine he could summon from distance.
Well, Marika did help as well. She just opened a gateway from Welvaria so that Hessin could use his powers from there (he used the moonlight).
Sorry, I just remembered what it was. Remember that fountain with the strange cloudy liquid? Well, it allowed them to interact with the world even though they're in a different dimension.
---------- Post added March 20, 2013 at 05:13 PM ---------- Previous post was March 10, 2013 at 04:25 PM ----------
Note: In case anyone is wondering how Adalynn arrived at Wellsborough before the others, she and her team took a short route while her brother and his comrades stopped at every towns, which took longer.
Chapter 6: A Sense of Strangeness
Last edited by riki; March 12, 2013 at 08:04 PM.
Ahh so this is what Shintra has been doing all this time and to be honest, when you think about it, I'm not surprised at the identity of those that have sided with him; being young, naive, wanting to please anyone who gives the a shred of compliment/approval.
And with this new way that Shintra has found to get around being followed or spied on by using the water, it'll make things very difficult for Kej and the others that are tracking the Lashival and looking to protect the world.
I never saw it that way, but I guess what you are saying is true However, they're not as naive as you may think
But that is what make things more interesting!
---------- Post added March 27, 2013 at 08:49 PM ---------- Previous post was March 21, 2013 at 04:23 PM ----------
Chapter 7: Tristé
You know, riki, reading about Zendran was the first time that I saw you swear xD
That surprised me, haha
Yeah, I rarely swear in RL too. When I do, it really surprises people.
I wonder about this government that sent the Duermons on this mission, their being there seemed to me to be part of Shintra's games to keep Kejuta occupied while he worked his plan.
Also I hope Owain can manage to get his sister back somehow, that last paragraph seemed to suggest that she either returns or manages to work her way back in control of her body in time to save Owain.
FYI, writing will be sporadic due to work and the fact that I'm working on another story concept. It's not fully developed, but I will give you two hints:
Anyway, in case anyone is wondering, I had change "Head Exorcist" to "Saint". You'll see it in the updated version of The Ilmarians, which is slowly being completed.
Chapter 08: Duermons and Exorcists
Love your writing riki. And I would love to recommend a book for you that will help you take it to the next level. http://www.amazon.com/Stein-Writing-.../dp/0312254210. Some of the advices I found in this book are pure gold. One of them is that in order to be a good writer you have to be well read. And the second is that the use of metaphors and similies combined with economy can only produce masterpieces.
Thanks for the link! Now I need to find something to make the order $25 to get free shipping~
Oh, I didn't know you were reading my story. What chapter are you on?
---------- Post added April 20, 2013 at 02:14 PM ---------- Previous post was April 12, 2013 at 06:42 PM ----------
Chapter 09: Under Siege
While I've been reading all these chapters with the Duermons, I'm just waiting for Shintra's name to pop up or for his involvement to be confirmed. But this cliffhanger was so out of the blue, I didn't see it coming. I'm still not ruling out the possibility of him being involved somehow though.
I'd be gutted for Owain if this means that he's lost the chance to get his sister back, as the plan they had in mind seemed plausible. I'm guessing they'll let Triste and co go ahead and just track them from a safe distance. Hopefully they dont get discovered before then.
Maybe he is involved, maybe he's not. I guess you'll have to find out in the later chapters.
Last edited by goldb; April 20, 2013 at 02:22 PM.