Life Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Ask the Opposite Gender/The Relationships Thread

[Gold Knight]

Re: The Romance Thread

Er, not that I'm one to know anything about love though -_-

*Hasn't even successfully stayed in a relationship for more than two years yet*

 

[Tamerlane]

Re: The Romance Thread

Er, not that I'm one to know anything about love though -_-

*Hasn't even successfully stayed in a relationship for more than two years yet*

Just my very humble opinion but from reading thru this thread you sound like you know a lot more about love than you might think. You at least have a clear idea of what you want and that is something that a lot of people do not have.

Yes...that's right, of course.
I have some friends who are not physically attractive to me (I'm not saying that they are ugly or don't look good but they are not my type) so even though I like their personalites I would not begin a relationship with any of them because for me they just aren't in the assortment.

I know that there has been a lot said about this already but I will throw my 2 cents in for whatever it is worth.

I agree that there has to be at least some small amount of attraction at first. But I also think that it is very possible to grow to love a person. For example you may be with someone you are not that attracted to physically at first but the more you are with them and the more you grow to love them they may look more physically attractive to you as time passes.

 

[Gold Knight]

Re: The Romance Thread

Just my very humble opinion but from reading thru this thread you sound like you know a lot more about love than you might think. You at least have a clear idea of what you want and that is something that a lot of people do not have.

I guess it's a trial-and-error type of thing with me. I know what I want, yes, but actually romancing girls - I think it's still something I need to work on. I think I'm still missing that certain oomph with how to go about things XD

Flowers are cliche - movies are cliche - dinner is cliche - almost everything I can think of doing always seems like a cliche to me.

Although I've had my share of relationships, I've suffered a lot of rejection too. Often, if I really like the girl, I usually come up short of impressing her enough to want to be anything more than a friend.

I'll take a girl out to, say, an amusement park as my favorite type of "local" date, but I always feel like it makes for more of a "friends" atmosphere.

My ideal date would just to go on a two-week journey across the world with a partner, but of course that would take money... *sighs*

I know that there has been a lot said about this already but I will throw my 2 cents in for whatever it is worth.

I agree that there has to be at least some small amount of attraction at first. But I also think that it is very possible to grow to love a person. For example you may be with someone you are not that attracted to physically at first but the more you are with them and the more you grow to love them they may look more physically attractive to you as time passes.

Agreed - and now that I think about it, that reminds me of something - one of my ex-girlfriends were not that physically beautiful but I always thought she was so beautiful because she just radiated personality - she had such a way with smiling, her eyes were always so interested or expressive - it was almost as though I was getting drunk on her sometimes. Our first date, I was already hooked on her.

So sometimes it's just about a strong or interesting personality.

 

[Tamerlane]

Re: The Romance Thread

I guess it's a trial-and-error type of thing with me. I know what I want, yes, but actually romancing girls - I think it's still something I need to work on. I think I'm still missing that certain oomph with how to go about things XD

Flowers are cliche - movies are cliche - dinner is cliche - almost everything I can think of doing always seems like a cliche to me.

I'll take a girl out to, say, an amusement park as my favorite type of "local" date, but I always feel like it makes for more of a "friends" atmosphere.

My ideal date would just to go on a two-week journey across the world with a partner, but of course that would take money... *sighs*

Sometimes doing something that is cliche is ok though. I mean the main point of the date it to get to know each other better and talk. And since you are getting to know each other movies and dinners are safe places because there is a good possibility that she will like them too. Not to mention you want to be someplace that you are comfortable with and again places that are considered cliche are good for that. So I do not think that it is bad to do the normal stuff on first dates, it is just safer. I mean the whole point is getting to know each other better and if there is a 2nd date you may have more of an idea of what she would like then.

Course I am not so sure that I would know a lot about this either. I have only dated a few times, but what I said seems logical to me. Hope it helps a bit to see someones elses point of view on that. <=)

Although I've had my share of relationships, I've suffered a lot of rejection too. Often, if I really like the girl, I usually come up short of impressing her enough to want to be anything more than a friend.

I think that everyone goes thru some rejection. =(

I know that I have been thru some of that myself. I once had this huge crush on this guy I worked with and I would try to talk to him all the time. But he made it really obvious he was not interested and saw me only as a friend. I ended up being really hurt and felt soooooo stupid afterward. So yup know what that is like......I sympathize with you on that one. =(

Maybe you just have not met the right person yet. I know that sounds really cliche....but it is true. I am sure that there is someone out there that has a lot of the same interests as you that you are attracted to, you just have not met her yet. You never know what tomorrow will bring.

 

[okyatoks]

Re: The Romance Thread

Flowers are cliche - movies are cliche - dinner is cliche - almost everything I can think of doing always seems like a cliche to me.

(Not to be offensive)
I think that most of the girls would all agree that these are not cliches... they all like these stuff, it all depends on the timing, situation and even in the words to be uttered

A simple stroll in the park, coffee by a cafe, kiss on the hand, a peck on the cheeks, would be "grand" in a very "timely situation" ... It's taking the best moment out of a usual situation... (I know it's easy to say it, but really hard to do it)

Sometimes doing something that is cliche is ok though. I mean the main point of the date it to get to know each other better and talk. And since you are getting to know each other movies and dinners are safe places because there is a good possibility that she will like them too. Not to mention you want to be someplace that you are comfortable with and again places that are considered cliche are good for that. So I do not think that it is bad to do the normal stuff on first dates, it is just safer. I mean the whole point is getting to know each other better and if there is a 2nd date you may have more of an idea of what she would like then.

Tamerlane is right, and this is a girl's point of view.

But nonetheless GK, with all the care and love in your heart, I suppose any girl would easily fall in love with you (no joke)

 

[Predator]

Re: The Romance Thread

Flowers are cliche - movies are cliche - dinner is cliche - almost everything I can think of doing always seems like a cliche to me.

That's true, but that's the safest way to begin. Most of us (gender doesn't matter) have the impression of a real date from the movies and/or from the stories friends share to each other. Even if we don't like it, girls have the same basic idea about a date. They somehow expect us to do so. If you come up with something original it's another thing. Girls like original guys, but it's similar to balancing on a tip of the blade between "cool" and "jackass".

Cliche dates are like deposits. You put your money in it and it's guaranteed that you'll get some interest back. On the other hand original ideas can be compared to high risk investment. You put your money in it, keep all the responsability for your actions and can get one of two main outcomes. First is you loose the money and have to start new. Second you get all the money back and also recieve huge profit, if you've been wise.

 

[Gold Knight]

Re: The Romance Thread

Sometimes doing something that is cliche is ok though. I mean the main point of the date it to get to know each other better and talk. And since you are getting to know each other movies and dinners are safe places because there is a good possibility that she will like them too. Not to mention you want to be someplace that you are comfortable with and again places that are considered cliche are good for that. So I do not think that it is bad to do the normal stuff on first dates, it is just safer. I mean the whole point is getting to know each other better and if there is a 2nd date you may have more of an idea of what she would like then.

Course I am not so sure that I would know a lot about this either. I have only dated a few times, but what I said seems logical to me. Hope it helps a bit to see someones elses point of view on that. <=)

I suppose you're right. I love conversation over dinner, actually, but I usually don't have an idea of what to do on the next date (except for one special case, never ran out of things to do with her). Maybe I'm just approaching it wrong. Or maybe I just need to meet more deaf girls. I don't know.

I think that everyone goes thru some rejection. =(

I know that I have been thru some of that myself. I once had this huge crush on this guy I worked with and I would try to talk to him all the time. But he made it really obvious he was not interested and saw me only as a friend. I ended up being really hurt and felt soooooo stupid afterward. So yup know what that is like......I sympathize with you on that one. =(

Maybe you just have not met the right person yet. I know that sounds really cliche....but it is true. I am sure that there is someone out there that has a lot of the same interests as you that you are attracted to, you just have not met her yet. You never know what tomorrow will bring.

What if I feel like I missed her? That I screwed up and I missed my chance. >_<

(Not to be offensive)
I think that most of the girls would all agree that these are not cliches... they all like these stuff, it all depends on the timing, situation and even in the words to be uttered

A simple stroll in the park, coffee by a cafe, kiss on the hand, a peck on the cheeks, would be "grand" in a very "timely situation" ... It's taking the best moment out of a usual situation... (I know it's easy to say it, but really hard to do it)

I think I'm probably just sick of dating. Don't mind me.

But nonetheless GK, with all the care and love in your heart, I suppose any girl would easily fall in love with you (no joke)

Thanks ^_^

 

[Tamerlane]

Re: The Romance Thread

I suppose you're right. I love conversation over dinner, actually, but I usually don't have an idea of what to do on the next date (except for one special case, never ran out of things to do with her). Maybe I'm just approaching it wrong. Or maybe I just need to meet more deaf girls. I don't know.

I dont think that you are approaching it wrong at all. For second dates there are always places to go see. If it is cold go to some museums, they sometimes have some really neat exhibits that are in town, or even just go walk around the nearby mall, etc. If it is warm go to the park and walk around, or a lake (paddle boats weeee!). Again these are all great places to talk at. Just look thru the local paper and see what is going on in town that looks like fun.

Just a thought...but you should not count out hearing girls too. I mean if they even know a tiny bit of sign getting to know you could prompt them to learn more and you could always help them with that. It is not outside the realm of possibility. There are tons of girls in college taking classes to learn sign that can hear but would be able to talk to you to some degree.

What if I feel like I missed her? That I screwed up and I missed my chance. >_<

=(

I am not sure what really to say to that......it is so sad. No second chances...at all? I mean unless she went and got married or you did something really awful like cheat on her, maybe there is a chance to fix things if she is willing to as well.

I hope I dont sound too overly optimistic. I really try to look for the better side of things, tis just my nature. I hope you dont mind. I am trying to help in my own little way. I really hope you are able to find someone, you seem like such a nice guy.

 

[Gold Knight]

Re: The Romance Thread

I dont think that you are approaching it wrong at all. For second dates there are always places to go see. If it is cold go to some museums, they sometimes have some really neat exhibits that are in town, or even just go walk around the nearby mall, etc. If it is warm go to the park and walk around, or a lake (paddle boats weeee!). Again these are all great places to talk at. Just look thru the local paper and see what is going on in town that looks like fun.

Good advice, thanks ^_^

I actually sometimes worked at a museum here... they usually had parties on Fridays, with refreshments, and you could even dance, but I always thought it would be kinda out of place for "young people" since it was usually middle-aged people in high places going there.

Just a thought...but you should not count out hearing girls too. I mean if they even know a tiny bit of sign getting to know you could prompt them to learn more and you could always help them with that. It is not outside the realm of possibility. There are tons of girls in college taking classes to learn sign that can hear but would be able to talk to you to some degree.

I actually don't count out hearing girls, but my closest relationship has been with a deaf girl and that sort of makes me think sometimes.

But actually, I don't know a whole lot of deaf girls and hearing girls are my only option most of the time.

I am not sure what really to say to that......it is so sad. No second chances...at all? I mean unless she went and got married or you did something really awful like cheat on her, maybe there is a chance to fix things if she is willing to as well.

We've broken up three times, it's kind of complicated. There were other reasons too, but in a nutshell, she had a family who feel that she needs to be with a hearing guy. I felt that she kept looking for things wrong with me just to find a reason why she couldn't be with me because she subconsciously wanted to make her family happy as well. I just had enough after a while.

But I can't deny she was the one I felt the most comfortable with in this world, somebody that I could do anything with. It was a bummer >.<

I hope I dont sound too overly optimistic. I really try to look for the better side of things, tis just my nature. I hope you dont mind. I am trying to help in my own little way. I really hope you are able to find someone, you seem like such a nice guy.

Thanks, you're sweet for saying that

 

[Tamerlane]

Re: The Romance Thread

Good advice, thanks ^_^

I actually sometimes worked at a museum here... they usually had parties on Fridays, with refreshments, and you could even dance, but I always thought it would be kinda out of place for "young people" since it was usually middle-aged people in high places going there.

Well I dont mean like go to parties there, just go to walk around and see all the neat exhibits.

We've broken up three times, it's kind of complicated. There were other reasons too, but in a nutshell, she had a family who feel that she needs to be with a hearing guy. I felt that she kept looking for things wrong with me just to find a reason why she couldn't be with me because she subconsciously wanted to make her family happy as well. I just had enough after a while.

But I can't deny she was the one I felt the most comfortable with in this world, somebody that I could do anything with. It was a bummer >.<

Relationships are complicated enough without families trying to get in the middle. Call me crazy but if I had kids I would just want them to be happy. I mean if you tell them who they should date all they will do is resent you later for it no matter if you were right or not. Just does not seem like it would create good family ties.

=(

Thanks, you're sweet for saying that

It is just the truth.

 

[Gold Knight]

Re: The Romance Thread

Call me crazy but if I had kids I would just want them to be happy. I mean if you tell them who they should date all they will do is resent you later for it no matter if you were right or not. Just does not seem like it would create good family ties.

I absolutely agree.

Well I dont mean like go to parties there, just go to walk around and see all the neat exhibits.

True... that can be fun. I've done that with Meg at art exhibits. Though she tended to wander a little too much away from me.

Okay... enough about me... XD

I want to know what's the best date you've ever been on, people. Any special memories? XD

 

[ShgnLW]

Re: The Romance Thread

Mmm... yeah my last date... it sure was memoriable. It was almost a year ago (do not stop here, for explanation read on ), may 14th I can still recall it without thinking... I went out with a very good friend of mine (female). It was our third date together (but if you take the christmas pr0m with it make it 4) and suddenly, in the early hours of may 15th, we kissed very intense... Damnit the sure was the most incredible date ever... The funniest part is that I had no intention to kiss her, or to get a relation with her. But she said that this was just a logical outcome because we were very close friends for almost 2 years.

Since then I have a real relation with her and all the times we went out together I do not count as dates anymore.

 

[Gold Knight]

Re: The Romance Thread

Awesome, ShgnLW ^_^

Hope it works out.

 

[ShgnLW]

Re: The Romance Thread

It will work I wanna marry her (already)...

People who have a b/f or g/f or had one, did you had the feeling that you wanted to marry him/her?

 

[white silver]

Re: The Romance Thread

I've never been into one (date) before (too UNPOPULAR) *sobs, needs MH to kill the pain away*!!

 

[JanneK]

Re: The Romance Thread

It will work I wanna marry her (already)...

People who have a b/f or g/f or had one, did you had the feeling that you wanted to marry him/her?

Well, almost, even though we are just 16 years old, we were talking about getting engaged and when we were ready, get married.

( We had been seeing each other for about 5-6 months, and we were really good friends before we got romantically involved with each other :P ).

But we broke up ~2 weeks ago since her family pretty much hates me for various reasons, we don't exactly live near each other and other reasons :P Though we still keep contact with each other, and we are very close friends

 

[Gold Knight]

Re: The Romance Thread

Oh, yeah. I wanted to marry Meg the first year. Sometimes I still do.

Actually sounds like the same deal with me and Meg, Janne ( the family hating thing ). Sorry about that

 

[JanneK]

Re: The Romance Thread

Thanks, but I knew what I was getting into when I get involved with her, since they've hated me for a long time now

And even if the parents don't like you GK, dont give up! Screw the parents! :P You're not romantically involved with them! ( Atleast I hope you're not! )

 

[Gold Knight]

Re: The Romance Thread

Already broke up with her three times, but thanks for the encouragement anyway

 

[walkie]

Re: The Romance Thread

i am shocked how everybody can speak about marriage easily..marriage?? me?? no, thanx i wont take it now

and i am sure when you are too young to get marry, it is more easy to talk about it, right JanneK??? i dont mean any offense but for me marriage is a far option now