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Help Request a Full Translation Check

saladesu

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Welcome to the Request a Full Translation Check thread! :tem

[sizept=15]To Translators[/sizept]
This thread is for you to request an experienced translator to look over your entire translation to check for accuracy.

In your post, please give as much info as possible:
1) A link to your translation/translation under spoiler tags
2) As much context as you can give
3) Highlight specific parts that you are unsure of

An example (a single line from the full translation):
今度は百足の卵がかえっちゃった人が藤ヶ原に出たって
This time, there were incidents of centipede eggs hatching in people in Fujigahara
(context: The guy is talking about a centipede youkai that was appearing in the area. I am unsure about the subject-verb-agreement between the people and the centipede eggs.)

It is also recommended that you request someone to proofread your translation for grammar/flow after being checked for accuracy here, especially if English is not your native language.

All the best :thumbs


[sizept=15]To Translation Checkers[/sizept]
This thread is for you, experienced translators, to look over entire translations to check for accuracy.

In your reply, be as helpful as possible, pointing out the translators' errors and common mistakes in detail so that the translator can learn and improve! To reduce clutter on the page, please put your corrections under a spoiler tag.

Thank you for your time and effort in helping translators improve! :ossu
 
Last edited:

Yoshitsune

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べしゃり暮らし Help~

Hey guys, I finished translating the first vol. of べしゃり暮らし but there were parts that I could not get for the life of me :o So, please do me the honors in helping me out! I'll post the lines that I was very iffy, if not lost, with.
I hope you don't need to see the actual manga page to understand it....

Updated~
Download Vol 1 RAW here: http://www.easy-sharing.com/481736/BK 1.zip.html

file 08.
"あれこそ正に 笑いの神が 舞い降りた瞬間だったなあ"
"That was definately a moment when the god of laughter descended to earth"

09.
"おっ いいね アキ 今の間"
"Oh, isn't it nice bro, this time"

10.
笑いの門のテーマでいい?
"Is it ok if it sounds funny?"

12.
何様のつもり!?
何様も何も
"Oh no! What'll you do!?"
"Nothing I can't handle"

ご存じ 俺は
爆えんの 学しょ、、、、
"You know me"
"The school's explosive student..."

いいとこ かんだ~!
"Ah! That was soo inspiring!"

天然なこともあるけど、、、
>And he has natural talent for it too...< Or. >He's very spontaneous too..<

13.
ここんとこ hadとtoが くっついてるけど
"You wrote down 'had' next to 'to' here but..."
mustの場合とはちがうよね
"But you mistook it for 'must'"
ほらhave much to eatの muchが前に出た形がから、、、
"See, the word 'much' from 'have much to eat' goes before it so..."

19.
おまえ 最近ちょっと 調子ン乗ってじゃ ね~のか コラ
"You seem like you're in a good mood nowadays"

ちょっと モテると 思いやがってよ
"You think your sooo popular"

22.
え~マジで うわ~ぜって~auに しょ
??

23.
これ今、、、 流れんですよね!?
"Well now.....I'm all psyched"

25.
何があっても笑うなっ つったろ~がよ
"No matter what, don't laugh!"

27.
こ、、、こいつ 今ウケようと ワッザと、、、
>He..he..just grabbed the attention on purpose too....<
So throughout this manga, ukeru, is used to mean to get the attention/ stand out then?

28.
おまえが一番 嫌がる事は何か よく知ってるぜ 上妻
>Do you know what's the one thing I hate most about you, Agatsuma?<
それは自分がみんなに 全く笑ってもらえなく なることだ、、、

30
二度と したくならね~よ~に お仕置きだ
"This will be your punishment unless you want another one"
>It's to make people stop laughing at your jokes...!"

32.
おまえみんな ひいてんじゃ ね~か
"You made everyone laugh!"

36.
この天才に かぎって!
All they have is me!
きっとみんなに うまく 伝わてね~ だけだ!

そんな事くれ~で 笑わせられね~なんて やっぱ俺が まだまだ甘め~って 事か、、、、
"People are not amused with those kinds of jokes cuz I'm still naive"


Thanks guys for help!
 

njt

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Re: べしゃり暮らし Help~

for any translation a bit more context + access the chapter makes it easier to get the translation right :)
 

NeoShweaty

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Re: べしゃり暮らし Help~

i dont know where he got the rest of the raws for the first volume but the first 4 chapters are on #lurk
 

njt

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Re: べしゃり暮らし Help~

NeoShweaty said:
i dont know where he got the rest of the raws for the first volume but the first 4 chapters are on #lurk
ah gotcha :)
 

Nihongaeri

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Re: べしゃり暮らし Help~

Much line NJT, being able to see the context would be of much help in suggesting translations, there are three lines that I feel comfortable commenting on without the context.
Yoshitsune said:
何様のつもり!?
何様も何も
"Oh no! What'll you do!?"
"Nothing I can't handle"
何様のつもり!?="Who do you think you are!?"

いいとこ かんだ~!
"Ah! That was soo inspiring!"
The verb かむ should be to, say, completely botch one's lines while reciting them.

天然なこともあるけど、、、
>And he has natural talent for it too...< Or. >He's very spontaneous too..<
This 天然 should be the slang abbreviation of what is also a slang term to begin with, 天然ボケ. I'm also thinking that you may have mistaken とこ for こと here.
 

Yoshitsune

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Re: べしゃり暮らし Help~

Thanks Nihongaeri~~

I updated with the link and all of the lines I had problems with and page numbers too~
Thanks for the help and your time :o
 

NeoShweaty

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Re: べしゃり暮らし Help~

edit, lol. The chapters in this are refered to as volumes, ohhh. I got confused
 

Yoshitsune

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Re: べしゃり暮らし Help~

Yeah, a 60 page chapter doesn't make sense....and they call it Volumes anyway
 

NeoShweaty

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Re: べしゃり暮らし Help~

it is a first chapter of the series and it isnt released everyweek(altho the chapters are 20 pages later on). I dont even know how often it is released. Anyone know?
 

Yoshitsune

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Re: べしゃり暮らし Help~

Well vol 2, 3, and 4 are the typical 20 pages
I don't know when the later ones are gonna come out, if they will...
 

NeoShweaty

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Re: べしゃり暮らし Help~

it is serialized in wsj but i have only seen raws every now and then which leads me to believe that it is a biweekly series. It is on chapter 25 or 26 i believe
 

njt

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Re: べしゃり暮らし Help~

I gave the "volume" a read and also read your translation... not too bad but there are a few places that need a little fixing. I'll see if I can get around to it tonight :) (hopefully I can :p)[br]Posted on: June 04, 2006, 09:39:25 PM_________________________________________________and ended up chatting most the night (though not a bad thing) didn't get to edit the trans for you... 明日こそ!!!頑張ります:p
 

Yoshitsune

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Re: べしゃり暮らし Help~

はい、待っております~~:)
 

njt

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Re: べしゃり暮らし Help~

Some are just suggestions some are corrections take what you will :). Let me know if you want something explained like as to why I put it that way :). now 3 am-- going to bed :D

{2) Someone shoots > Super Catch > After the ball hits the net, I'll be in the way > a roar of laughter → Someone shoots > super catch > after catching the ball proceed to get heavily tangled in the net > a roar of laughter

"But if I had thought of things out normally, only 2 would have..." → "But in reality anything other than 2 would be...."

pg 6
impossi !!"

>Hah, I'm in the spotlight...< → hah, they're laughing...

"Dammit Keisuke you did that on purpose! So you could (get a laugh / try to be funny.)"

"Whoa Keisuke, your nose is bleeding!" → "Whoa Keisuke, bloody nose (man)!"
"It looks like you started bleeding" → "The blood is like pouring out (man)!"

"crisscrossed! Crisscrossed! → Sideways! Sideways!

"What's with that shape!" → what's up with it coming out that way?!

"I already knew that! You got hit on purpose too!" → " We know, I mean you so did that on purpose"

"That wasn't my fault!" → " you can't do something like that on purpose!"
"But your nose bleeding like that sure was funny" → "But the whole bloody nose thing was pretty funny."

"Kyahaha. That was definately a moment when the god of laughter descended to earth" → Then that would have had to be the moment the God of laughter descended to earth



[br]Posted on: June 06, 2006, 06:25:36 AM_________________________________________________sorry that updates take so long, normally I'd be able to squeeze some time in during my break / working hours but without the Japanese with it it's hard for me to open up the manga and just go and check that way :s....

Looks like either tonight...? or the weekend, probably the weekend. (like the data books) わるいねぇ・・・:s
 

Yoshitsune

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Re: べしゃり暮らし Help~

Thanks a lot njt!
Yeah I'm going to start putting the Japanese up with the translations from now on~
 

njt

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Re: べしゃり暮らし Help~

K- I haven't been slacking today hehe so to prove it here is an update :p. I'm still working on it though. Some are small changes, some big- if you want me to go into detail about it let me know :).

noticed I didn't include the translation I typed on accident... so yeah- edited :)

(I hearby declare that 爆笑 shouldn't be translated as roaring laughter!)

"Oh, isn't it nice Aki, this little break"
おっ
いいね アキ今の間
Oh- Nice man, quick response

"Plus, if he's good at sports, schoolwork, anything at all...wow!"
それに
スポーツも勉強も何でも出来るし・・・きゃー
Plus he's good at sports, and smart and can do anything...
Kya-

"It's all how much girls admire you too"
全ての女子の憧れよね
All the girls want him...

"Yes! I remember what happened when my nose started bleeding!"
そうだ鼻血で思い出した
Ah! Speaking about bloody noses
(lit: Ah! Talking about bloody noses made me remember...)

"I was in the middle of jacking off before it started!"
この前
オナニーの最中に鼻血出てょ
The other day, I got one when I was jacking off.

"What the hell were you doing?...sfx: punch"
どっちを先にプッ・・・
Which one was fir *pft* (sound of mike getting cut off)

{I'll finish you!!}
殺すよ
I'll kill you!!

"You loser, she's the club president, don't get her mad!"
バカ おまえ 部長 怒ってんじゃん!
Dude, you dumbass The club press is pissed!

"Too bad, Koyasu-kun! I'll keep the sound off if they keep it up"
だめよ子安くん!
そのまま音消しといて
NO, Koyasu-kun! Keep the mike off.

11.
"Talkin' about masturbation isn't so vulgar you know!"
オナニーはギリギリセーフだろうが
Talkin' about masturbation is just within limits you know!

"Damn you! Koyasu, turn up the sound!"
テメー子安音出せ!
Koyasu, man you better turn on the mike!

"I wasn't gonna turn it into a chat about my masturbation life..."
話はこれから
俺のオナニーライフに・・・
I was just starting the story of my masturbation life...

"Is it ok if it has a comedy theme?"
わ・・・笑いの門のテーマでいい?
Wo would the comedy theme be ok?
"Hey the music changed"

音楽に変わった
hey, now they're playing music

"Oh no! What'll you do!?"
"Nothing I can't handle"
やだっ
何様のつもり?!
Sheesh, Who died and made you god?!
(lit: Who do you think you are / Who the hell are you trying to be?)

"You know me"
何様も何も
Nah- not god or anything like that

ご存じ
俺は
You should know
I am

"The school's explosive student..."
"The School'S King of Roaring Laughter!"
爆えんのがくしょ・・・
The kool sching of laughter....
学園の爆笑王!
The school's king of laughter 

"Ah! That was soo inspiring!"
あーーーーっ
いいとこかんだーーーっ
Argh-----
I messed up the good part!!!!!

>And he has natural talent for it too...<
天然なとこもあるけど・・・
He does have his dense moments but...
天然= not so bright / air headed...

"The school's roaring laughter"
"Explosive student...let's see"
"Student..."
爆えんの
楽しょう・・・
あれ
The kool sching of..
wait

学園の爆しょうん
The school's kinnn

楽しょ・・・
schin....

>Yeah, almost there<
うーーーんまだまだだ
hmmmmmmmmmm not there yet

>I'll say more and more funny stuff...<
もっともっと何かおもしれー事やんねーと・・・
I gotta come up with something much much funnier

>Ah Damn, I'm not popular enough yet<
あーーーー
うけてーな
くそっ
Arrrrghhhh-----
I wanna be funny!!!!!
Damn!

"You really are amazing, Tamaki-kun!"
ホントだ
すごーい玉木くん
You're right!
You're amazing, Tamaki-kun

"If I have any more questions, I know where to turn to"
もうなんでも言う事
聞いちゃうぅ
I'll do whatever you tell me to...

"Damn, that guys sure is popular..."
くそぉ・・・・
もてやがるなぁ・・・・あいつ・・・
Damn... The nerve of that guy, being all that (and a bag of chips *snap*)

"Ah....that's enough, will you marry me, Tamaki~~"
あ~~~~~~~~もう
結婚してくれ玉木ぃーーーーーっ
Ah----- That's it, Marry me Tamaki-------!!!!

"Satisfy my desires, Tamaki-chan~~"
満足させるで
玉木ちゃーーーん
I'll fulfill your every desire
Tamaki-cha----nnnnn

>Oh I'm doing it!<
お・・・・
うけてる!
oh... This is good!

"Let's make plans every night~~"
毎晩趣向凝らすで
I'll make plans for every night~~~

>Say more! Think of more jokes!<
もっと言え!
もっと面白れーこと思いつけ
Say more! Think of something funnier!!!

"Who wants to join us for S&M (sadism and masochism/ slave and master) on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays?"
誰が火木土はソフトSMやねん
Who said Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays are Soft S&M Night?!

"Let's do it!"
いやじゃ
I won't do it!

"What's the use!"
何でだーーー?
What the hell!?

>Alright! All those laughs, I'm doing it!"
よっしゃっ!
ぎゃはははは
うけてるうけてる
Hell yeah!! Gyahahahaha They're laughing, they're laughing!!!

>Damn! This feels awesome...!"
この瞬間が・・・・
くっ~~~~~~
気持ちいい・・・・・
These are the moments that I.....
Yeah----
Enjoy the most!!!!

"People don't indulge him!"
indulge → encourage

"You know that's the only kind of thing he says"
もう
そう言う事しか言わなくなるでしょう
Or that'll be the only thing he talks about

"Excuse me! I didn't even say anything about no penis yet!"
すんません!
もうチンコとか言いません
Exsqueese me, I won't say penis ever again!

いや・・・
er...

"You've always been..."
ずっと
I've....

"Since before..."
ずっと前から・・・
I've always....

な・・・
wh....

"What was that about...?"
何で・・・
why.....

"I've been dumped..."
この俺が・・・フラれ・・・
I've been..... Rejected...?!

"Dammit...That's it!...Nana-chan is..."
くっそ・・・
そうか・・・
奈々ちゃんは・・・・
Dammit... So that's why.... She likes....

"You seem like you're in a good mood nowadays"
おまえ
最近ちょっと調子ん乗ってんじゃねーのか コラ
Yo, you wouldn't happen to be thinking you're all that (and a bag of potatochips) now would ya, Punk?!

"Soon you're gonna think you're too popular for us"
ちょっとモテると思いやがってよ
Thinkin' you're a hit with the ladies.

"I know girls who'd do anything I ask, no matter what"
何でも
聞いてくれるコ
いくらでもいるから
Because I know plenty of girls that'll do anything I say.
 

NeoShweaty

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Re: べしゃり暮らし Help~

damn, that's a lot of changes. I'll be sure to thank the mangahelpers translation crew when the scans finally come out.(buying the volume to scan it would be a good start on my part)
 

njt

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Re: べしゃり暮らし Help~

Round 2.... STILL not finshed hehehe... anyways-

>I wonder what he'll do when he realizes...<
どうなるか思い知りやがれ
I'll make him pay

>This is your punishment for playing with Nana-chan's feelings....!<
奈々ちゃんの気を引いた罰だ・・・
for taking nana-chan's attention away from me.

>I'll give ya your punishment...!!<
罰を与えてやる
It's time for punishment.

"So it's you? You're always deep into your little strange comedy crap"
お前か?
いつもお笑いの変なテーマ流してんの
So it's you? The one that's always playing that weird comedy theme song

"It was those guys who asked me to do it..."
ある人の頼みなんだよ
Someone asked us to ask you

"We don't like the attention Agatsuma's been gettin'"
あんまり
上妻がウケたりすんのが気に入らねーんだってよ
He said he don't really like Agatsuma making jokes

"So we were wonderin' if you'd do us the favor of ending his little noon broadcasts..."
of ending his → of ending his annoying little noon

"Come on"
"That way you'd help us put an end that boring ass Agatsuma's gags and jokes"
それから
お前も
つまんねー上妻のギャグなんか笑うのやめとけ
Also, no more laughing at his lame ass jokes
いいな
Got it?

"It was an accident so there's nothing we can do, you know"
故障じゃしょうがねーだろ
It's broken man, nothing we can do.

"Ha! You're out of luck"
お前
やべえってそれーーーー
Dude--
That's crazy

*missed this one*

えー
マジでー
うわー俺もぜってーauにしょ
eh-
for real?
man, I'm going to get me an au phone too.

"Hey, it's just the usual bell chime?"
えー昼ドラ
普通録画するー?
eh- So you like normaly record the noon drama shows?

"Go on"
ゴホン
Cough

"Is it really okay? Cuz I'll go..."
いいんですか?!
ボクなんかが行って・・・・
Are you sure it's ok?
For someone like me to go....

"Well now I'm at.....all hyped up about it"
これ今・・・
流れてんですよね?!
I'm on the air right now?

"That's okay...Yup. "
yup →yes (he's talking to Tamori, so he's using more polite japanese...)

I'll personally be going to Alta during my lunch break
昼休み直接アルタ行きますから
I will go directly to Aruta during my lunch break

"It's OKAY!~"
いいともーーーー
II TOMO!!!
*note, you'd have to have lived in Japan, or be very familure with Japanese tv to know where this is coming from, anyways the guy below , Tamori, is the host of a VERY famous show called waratte iitomo http://www.fujitv.co.jp/b_hp/iitomo/ . Anyways before you can be a guest on his show, he calls you and asks you to come over, and you answer II TOMO.*

"That's not it at all!"
そんなわけねーだろ!
No freaking way!

"What's that rustling just now..."
いや・・・
今のそこそこ・・・
er, it was kinda funny...

"All those "No, no, no!"'s..."
いやいやいや・・・えーーー?!
hey hey hey... Come on!?

"No matter what, don't laugh!"
何があっても
笑うなっつったろーがよ
We told ya, don't laugh. Period!

"It pisses us off!
俺らが迷惑すんだよ
You're causing problems for us

"I have some welcoming news for you~~"
耳寄りな話がぁ~~~っ
I have some good news for ya---....

>Alright..yeah, I'll do a little fart<
よ・・・よし・・・・
屁が出る・・・
go... good... I gotta fart...

>He..he..just grabbed the attention on purpose too....<
こ・・・こいつ
今うけようとワザと・・・
He... he tried to be funny
by doing that on purpose...

Why didn't I get the attention!?"
なんで俺のボケがうけねぇ
Why didn't anyone laugh at what I did?

>Do you know what's the one thing I hate most about you, Agatsuma?<
お前が 一番嫌がる事は何かよく知ってるぜ 上妻
I know what you hate the worst, Agatsuma.

>It's to make people stop laughing at your jokes...!"
それは
自分がみんなに全く笑って貰えなくなること
It's for everyone to not laugh at you.

>Heh, that way you'll become worthless, you get it?<
フン、 これで もうおまえなんか何の価直もねーってわかったろ
heh, so now you probably noticed how you have nothing going for ya anymore.

"What the hell was that!"
何だよ一体!
What the hell's going on!

"Up til now that's how I've been getting noticed!"
今までみんなあんなにうけてたじゃねーか
Everyone would always laugh before!

>....Could I possibly have gotten stale...?"
ひょっとして
ホントにつまんなくなったんじゃねーだろな
・・・・俺・・・
It couldn't possibly mean...that I've gotten stale or anything...?

>Meaning that it'll be impossible to make people laugh...no..."
ってゆーか
今までからしてみんなムリに笑ってくれてたとか・・・
いや・・・
So... that would mean that everyone forced theirselves to laugh at my jokes....?
.......
no way.....

"This will be your punishment unless you want another one"
二度としたくならねーよーにお仕置きだ
This beating is to make you not want to tell another one(gag) again!

"This is the last time..I'm beaten up"
お・・・俺は最終回の矢吹丈か
Am... Am I like Yabuki Joe in his last chapter?
*Note: taken from Ashita no jyo-*

"Shit...I didn't do nothin'.."
くっそ・・・
何モンなんだ・・・あいつら・・・
Shit... What was with those guys....

>They said if I didn't want another one....<
二度としたくならねーよーにだと?!
They're all like "So I wouldn't want to tell another one"

あぁん?!
pfft!!!

>It was those guys for sure...<
絶対あいつらだ・・・
It's gotta be them

>Who else must have they gone to...<
誰に頼まれてこんな・・・
Who's the guy asking them to do this...

>Anyone who laughed must have gotten beat up too...<
笑って
やられちゃった人もかなりいるな・・・
Man, there's quite a few people that got beaten up for laughing...

"You're soo hilarious!"
おまえみんな
ひいてんじゃねーか
You guy's are holding it in!!

_________________________________________________

Also I consulted my Japanese friend for the opening manzai for a better translation than the one I offered and she said this:
Got more help should be able to do a better trans, will updated later :).
 

Yoshitsune

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上級員 / Jyoukuuin / Sr. Member
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Re: べしゃり暮らし Help~

Wow, a lot of casual/cultural references in that manga...

Thanks for all your hard work njt!!
I heard how tricky it was even for you~~
 
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