Mangahelpers Translationshttps://mangahelpers.com/translators/rss2014-12-13T21:47:57+00:00/favicon.icoMangaHelpers Adminsadmin@mangahelpers.comhttps://mangahelpers.com/t/bomberdrufi/releases/40781[English] [Translation] Teach me the offside Oneshot : Teach me the offside by Bomber D Rufi2014-12-13T21:47:57+00:00Bomber D Rufiadmin@mangahelpers.com And my ongoing and pointless quest to translate all of Nakayama's works continues...Honestly I know nothing about soccer so I really recommend the group that's gonna work on this get someone who knows Soccer and Japanese to look over the script.
That being said it was a cute little oneshot and something Nishio has written that I thought was pretty good. Then again I've only really read the Monogatari stuff he's written. Maybe Zaregoto and others are better.
(Blue and green text- Raiding the eternal questions of Soccer is this forbidden youth oneshot with center color and 28 pages!!) TEACH ME THE OFFISIDE. (Side purple and pink text- What's the offside? Stuff I don't know is what I want to know most y'know?) (Bottom text- Decided with a God hand! The comic striker who's representative work 'Nejimaki Kagyuu' is out in stores with all 16 volumes!) ART: NAKAYAMA ATSUSHI (Bottom text- Connected word spirits! Comic fantajista!! Monogatari Series 18th' work 'Continued Owarigatari' (Published by Kodansha) Is out in stores everywhere!!) STORY: NISHIO OISHIN
002 Read some other Nishio stuff.
003 Girl: Ahahaahaha!! Pleased to meetcha Itou-kun!! Now teach me the Offside!! Itou: Huh? (Side text- Without warning a special lesson begins!!)
004 {A few days ago, the soccer club retired.} {Something that had been a part of my normal life since Elementary School had come to an end.} {At the time I was hoping something more dramatic would happen but my expectations weren't met.} {Rather it was just a normal farewell party where nothing particularly happened.} {They didn't retire due to injuries, or after settling things with a rival team, it was all normal without a single exception.} {Though to be frank I wasn't a regular on the team anyway. So it really wasn't all that sudden to me.} {So with that I changed my job from soccer club official to a tutor for students taking exams.} {At least...that's what I thought.} Itou: Ah...you're Oofusa-san from class 5 yeah? Allrighty. First thing's first. Lets hear it... How much experience do you have with Soccer?
005 Oofusa: None at all! Ahahaahahah! That's why I'm asking you to teach me! Itou: So she's a newbie... Um.... The thing known as the Offside is... A line about here where some players are behind and rules forbid them from making passes to or from. They can peek at the goal keepers from behind the offside line. And the player furthest behind of the opposite team is selected to stay at this boarderline. In short when a player is here they can pass... However when they are here they cannot. So Oofusa-san... Do you understand this much?
006 Oofusa: I don't get it! If you're gonna explain the offiside then you shouldn't use difficult terms like 'offside line!' Where's the place that the Goal keeper has to defend first? That foul play...what's it called in Japanese? So passing from there is bad yeah? So what about catching from there? Or is it that standing behind that at all is foul play? What kind of punishment is there for making a play from the offside? Just now was that a pass or a shoot? When do you refer to one or the other? What happens if you do? If there's an Offside, is there an Onside? If you pass to yourself is that considered an out? So the line is actually a white line they can't pass right? When is it an actual border line? When you pass from the end line and accept it is that a free kick? A Goal kick? When's a good time to pass to the enemy? Before talking about the offside what about shooting? Is that legal? Or illegal? Can you throw in from the offside? When you pass and catch it with your hand is that a hand toss? Or offside? {Just like I figured.} {It's sorta like the F chord in Guitar....} {That one thing that makes beginners drop out is the insurmountable wall known as the Offside.} {It's one of the fundamental rules in Soccer...} {And getting newbies to understand it is difficult.}
007 Itou: By the way Oofusa-san...why do you want to know about the offside? Do you have a boyfriend who's into soccer? Oofusa: Ahahah! No way! The neighborhood elementary school kids have been making fun of me!! They're sooooo annoying! So I want you to help me return the favor! {Such an idiotic reason...} {Geez...why the heck am I stuck doing something like this...} {To try and deal with a newbie who doesn't know anything about the offside...} Itou: I know you're asking me to help but... I can introduce you to some pretty good books on the topic then? {The team's already been retired....I don't need lingering effects...} Oofusa: That's no good! I want you to teach me Itou-kun!! Itou: But I just gave you the simplest explanation I could... {Moreover from the start I don't really understand it myself...} {Just when did I....} {Begin to want to understand the Offside myself?} ???: Oofusa-san... Would you come outside?
008 Oofusa: Woaaaaah! It's so wide!! Superduper wiiiiiide!! To think that Soccer would be this huge and wide!! I had no idea!! Awesoooome! {That's right. When a newbie begins soccer...} {The hardest thing to visualize is this 'wideness'.} Itou: The way they say it in modern style is pitching... {I was really surprised at it's full scaled size when I first started too.}
009 {It's the sort of sport that requires a ball to play, so there aren't many people who haven't played soccer before.} {But because of this most people associate soccer with open spots in parks or elementary school yards as a standard.} {These tiny, cramped places don't properly explain the significance of passing and working together.} Itou: I'm glad I took that expedition with the soccer club... {However if one can see the genuine hugeness of the field and experience seeing it themselves...} Oofusa: Hey Itou-kun! I thought of something cool!! What if the defense teams up on the goal keeper by assembling on that side? Isn't that great? That way the enemy side can't get close to them!! Awesome huh?! I'm so smart!! Itou: Is there really an offside trap that audacious?! Oofusa: Hm? What's wrong? Is my genius causing you a migraine? Itou: Fine then! If that's the case I'll show you my spirit! In 90 minutes.. I plan to teach you about the Offside!!
010 {90 minutes later...} {Are you kidding me? After being on this stage with a match serving as explanation...} {I wasn't able to teach her anything....!?} {Her newbness is terrifying....!} {Could everything I understood up until this point have been completely off the mark...!?} {That can't be it!! She's just an unbelievable idiot!!} Itou: Just stop it Oofusa-san! You've got to understand this... You're just messing with me and pretending not to aren't you? Oofusa: Well...to be honest I sorta felt like doing that midway through... but it's the truth that I don't get it either. Itou: You sorta felt like it?! Don't screw with me dammit! What part don't you understand?! Explain it to me!!
011 Oofusa: 'Cause... If it were me I'd just wanna wait here to pass. Or i'd wait here for someone to pass to me! That's what i'd really want. I don't have any soccer experience... but I have seen them do this on TV. For reals it's cause of the offside that this whole thing seems so boring... Just when I think they have a chance to take a goal, it's offside this, offside that. They could litterally take the head of a demon if they wanted to... But a match that nearly takes two hours to fight is spent between two points that no one can get into! Is that rule even necessary? Isn't it just getting in everyone's way? If they were to just go for it and take the goal, that'd be much more fun to watch... If they were to abolish the rule of the offside... Soccer would be much more popular in my opinion. Itou: Well...um.. {She's saying stupid newbie things again....} {I can't think of an easy way to refute her words though...} Itou: That's just how the rule works... ???: Ah here you are....
012 ???: Hey Oofusa! You said we were gonna leave together, yeah? I told you to wait for me until i was done with my repairs! Don't make me look for you dumb tits!! Itou: Who's she? Oofusa: Ah!! Sai-chan!! Yaaay!! Come on over!! Itou: Wait shes your friend? You have the ability to make friends with that personality of yours?! Sai: 'Sup, Itou-senpai. Sorry about my friend! I'm Sai! Thank you for looking after my classmate! Itou: She's surprisingly polite!! Wait....did you say Senpai?! And she's your classmate?! Which means...Oofusa you're a second year?! Oofusa: I'm a first year tho. Itou: With breasts like those you're a first year?! {You're kidding me....a first year chick is calling me 'Itou-kun'? She's underestimating me too much dammit!} {Moreover how in the world does a first year even know who I am...?} Sai: Heh that expression... Seems like things haven't been going well have they?
013 Sai: No need to worry. I'll take that idiot and leave. Sorry...seems like all of the nutrition in her body goes towards those boobs. Itou: Yeah...I get it. Thanks. But why does she know about me... Well, no. I can put that aside for later. Why does she want to know about the offside so badly? I heard from her that she doesn't like being picked on by the neighborhood elementary school students.. but that doesn't explain why she's got so much zeal towards this if I can be honest. Sai: Well...it's just as she says really... She's at about the same level as an elementary schooler, so picking a fight with 'em isn't out of the question. She's just that dumb. Itou: R—really? Sai: Though... Why don't you just flat out say it Mr. Soccer experience... She's just a stupid newbie who 'Doesn't know anything about the offside'. I'm sure you were vibin' that way toward her weren't you? Itou: Well...I mean I wouldn't think anything that cruel... Well...at least I wouldn't say that out loud... (Handwritten- To try and deal with a newbie who doesn't know anything about the offside...) Itou: But seriously is that all? Sai: Yup, that's it. Well if I were to put it more strongly then...
014 Sai: A boy with a promising future in soccer that she was taking care of like a little brother.. is crying in the hospital saying things like you....though your dispositions might be a little different. Kid: 'At least you're okay'? Don't try to comfort me lady!! I'm not okay at all! Look at my legs! There's a chance I'll never be able to play soccer again you know!!
015 Kid: You don't even know what the offside is! So don't talk about things you don't understand! Get lost!! Sai: Hehehe, she sure is dumb huh? Taking the words of a crying child to heart... She really thinks that if she understands the offside... That she'd be able to understand the feelings of a child admitted to the hospital due to a traffic accident. Though that's not likely to happen, hahah... Itou: Yeah...it's idiocy... {No. I'm the idiot.} {I thought about something dramatic like retiring due to injury...} {That honestly crossed my mind...} {But for real after hearing this...} Itou: Sai...before you take her back.. Could you help me out? There's one last thing I want to try.
016 Oofusa: Hey Itou-kun you're seriously gonna wear a sports bra? Isn't that embarassing? Ahaahahah! Itou: Uh no...this is what's called a bib...it's more like putting on a jersey.....
017 Sai: Itou-senpai... It's okay for me to just stand here right? I don't have a clue about soccer either, so I dunno if just standing here is okay... Itou: Yeah...that's cool. You're set up to act as a goal keeper behind us. Just make out like a living offside line. {It'll be difficult to recreate an actual soccer match with just the three of us, but...} {But this is probably the only way to get Oofusa to understand.}
018 Itou: You get it? I'm gonna dribble down the right side.... So you just run down the center as fast you can. And aim for where Sai is. Once I've passed this cone I'll make a beeline for Sai on the underside. Your job is to come from the offside, get the ball and shoot. Sai: So he's going to use an actual match to explain this to her? I dunno if that will make her understand....Oofusa's stupidity is pretty real... Oofusa: If I do that... Will I understand the offside? Itou: I can't guarantee it, but perhaps you just won't get it... until you do it. No matter what path we take, we can use additional time if victory doesn't happen in one go. Let's do this. {The problem here is the timing for a pass.} {My dribbling is one thing but it depends on Oofusa's natural running speed. I guess I can try to match her...} {Because even if we're just recreating an actual match there's nothing stupider than the game ending because I missed a pass.} {So with that in mind I'll dribble leisurely and match her pace...}
019 Oofusa: Ha! Aha!! Aahahahahaahahahaah!! Itou: She's ridiculously fast!! {She's faster than my normal running speed?!}
020 Sai: Ah...I happened to hear this before Itou-senpai... But in middle school she was the champion in short distance running in track and field. She dropped out after her boobs got huge though... (Handwritten- Cause it really hurts her chest.) {There are people who retire for that kinda reason?! Dammit, this is bad.} {I thought I'd be waiting for her to reach the cone before passing but it looks like she's already way ahead of me!! Should I go for a quick long pass? No...there's no meaning to that!! I have to stick to the assumption this is a match or else!!} {Moreover it'll be the same as what she was thinking herself in the end!} {I gotta think! Oofusa you may not be able to understand this but...} {But it's not like you don't understand the actual concept of what the offside is right?!} {Plus at this rate if you reach Sai I won't be able to pass to you!} {Ahh dammit, I guess she really doesn't understand...} Oofusa: Huh...?
021 {I'll reach the line before Itou-kun can pass at this rate...} {Is that what the Offside is....?} {However if I slow down now I'll fall, yeah?} {I'm running straight after all.} Sai: I guess for now moving like this is okay...I Hope? {He told me to run as fast as I can....} {Okay...} {Then...} {Hows this!!} {She slanted her run since she couldn't slow down...and instead increased her running range?} Itou: Awrright. There's some genius in that stupidity!! {There's a 'reason' why the offside exists in soccer.}
022 {It's not a 'Coward's gentlemanly conduct'} {It's a remnant of something left back when it was mixed with Rugby.} {Rather there are countless reasons why the offside... {'Should never disappear'. That is without it one would never improve their skill.} {Well, there are extreme arguments that without it there would be no restrictions.} {That like in Vollyball points would be easy to obtain with a rally point system installed.} {He's kicking a pass so after that...} {Going over the line is okay?} {Soccer too has rules that change unexpectedly.} {But Oofusa you...} {Said 'If it were me I'd would...}
023 {But if it were me...} {Even if it weren't wrong to be on the Offside...} {I'd still want to pass to a place where no one was....} {And then run as fast as I can to out pace that pass.} {If there were a reason for the offside to not exist...} {That would be..} {Rather than waiting for a pass, running for one..}
024 {Is obviously cooler!!}
025
026 Itou: So Oofusa... A play you had to think of yourself is much more fun right? Basically being on the side of those who do rather than watch is.. Oofusa: Yup... Itou-senpai.. It's the same as life! When you're in a battle and overcome the odds you're much happier! Doing your best and working hard is the way that we grow up! I'm so glad I'll be able to tell that child that myself! {Ah no...} {I really hadn't thought of it that deeply.} (Sfx- Kokuri nod) Itou: Y—yeah! That's right! You completely got it! It's when a person is confronted with hardships that they have to progess and get stronger!! That's the true meaning of an offside Oofusa! Do you get it?
027 Oofusa: Yup! I totally do! Itou: Well....I Guess it doesn't really matter at this point... But why me of all people Oofusa? I'm sure there's at least one person in the class who's on the soccer club... The members of the soccer club in that class recommended you! They said if you wanna know about soccer... Third year Itou-senpai is the man for the job! Itou: I see... {Heh..} {So they basically just pushed the underclassmen to me because they didn't want to deal with it...} Oofusa: Though I guess they've all retired by now but in this school...
028 Oofusa: The one who knows the most about soccer... Is Itou-senpai!! {I came to hate the word 'retire'....} {After working so hard in the end, they basically just 'withdrew and backed out'.} {But even if it's an excuse or the official stance...} {I'm going to keep on going like this.} {There are those I can talk to...those who are hearing it for the first time..} {And finally I who retired....} {Can feel like I've advanced...}
029 {A few days later I saw a big breasted underclassmen tossing a ball by the lake with a kid.} {Her movements were all filled with suck and I could see it...} {I think another time when I get a break between studying for exams, I'll teach her how to judge the ball.} Teach me the Offside. (Side text- The time that stopped now moves!) TEACH ME THE OFFSIDE..........END. (Bottom text- Next issue 'I'm the main character!! It's a end of the year gag parade!!' Opens!! Who will take the apex of Jump's funniest?!}