Gintama 240

I love the fact that even though I got sick with a stomach ulcer on Monday (In which there was no Gintama raw even then.) Threw up most of the week, finished this the following Sunday...and I'm NOT BEHIND BECAUSE BY SUNDAY THE RAW FOR THIS WEEK STILL ISN'T OUT! >_> Do I really have to find a way to buy my own Jump to get Timely Gintama raws?

Tsuu: The next broadcast of this program…

Will be the Terakado Tsuu Official Fanclub battle grounds of pianist!! Please tune in!!

???: Did they just say….

The Terakado Tsuu official fanclub battle grounds of pianist?!

(Side text- The gauntlet has fallen!)

(TN- I really can’t find the kanji for the given reading ‘sai’ if you know what it is please let me know. If not that’s what I could do.)

GINTAMA

(Bottom text- This week’s WSJ contains a sticker for the Jump fiesta Gintama stage!! Don’t forget to buy a copy!!)

Takachin: Bu—But if that means what I think it does….

We’re not ‘official’ yet?!

But…we have a chance….to become official?!

(Sfx- gogogogogo *ruuuuuuumble*)

002

Hijikata: A-hehe-ahehehe! You’ll be thrusting yourselves into hell.

Why not leave Otsuu-chan to us, and enjoy your lives Terakado Tsuu imperial protection squadron?

Well, that is if you can call a life without your beloved idol living.

Either way, let’s not embarrass ourselves shall we? Whether you show up at the competition or not, you’re losing what you love.

If you disagree let us meet at the hall.

It’s there that we can exchange our differences and I can put you in your place. AheheAhehehee….

Shinpachi: Wait just a moment.

Tosshi…no.

Hijikata-san.

You’re not Tosshi at all.

You’re Hijikata-san.

003

Gintoki&Kagura: Huh?

Shinpachi: Tosshi’s a weak hearted otaku.

I’ve been thinking it’s strange for you to want to battle in public.

That seems completely out of the ordinary for an otaku…..

Moreover…

I see you haven’t thrown away your cigarettes.

(Sfx- Kacha *clink*)

(Sfx- Shubotsu *fwoosh*)

(Sfx- Suhaa *fwuaaah*)

Shinpachi: Hijikata-san, what on earth are you scheming?

Tosshi’s gone as far as contacting other Otaku…

And with this small force of large otaku strength, your aims are to try and become Otsuu-chan’s official fan club.

I understand why an otaku would do that, but what do YOU gain from it?

004

Hijikata: You guys are absolutely right. The curse of the sword has befallen me again, and Tosshi’s been born.

The willful, arrogant Hijikata Toshirou…

Yes…Tosshi is another version of this very same man living deep within.

For the most part however, I’m able to keep him locked up and at bay.

However Tosshi has never really disappeared….he remains locked in my subconscious.

He threatens to take over my being…

But I figured if I just ignore him, he’d disappear.

That guy didn’t go anywhere however….

He remained in my body, glaring at the light that he could take if he would regain control.

You guys remember right?

You went to get Tosshi some kind of anime boxset.

Apparently he hid it away. It was some ‘pretty girl’ anime that he waited all night in line to get…

You guys remember right?

Before that fight….

Otaku: Oh! Hijikata-shi!

Hijikata: How Tosshi had apparently appeared on TV, and even promised some of his otaku friends he’d go see the end of ‘Ovangelion.’ With them….

(TN- …Should be obvious. Moving on….)

005

Hijikata: ….I think I’m growing tired of them….

Days of fighting in and out….against him…

Just when do I finally get a break?

Tosshi wouldn’t go anywhere no matter what I did.

So I decided to change my tactic from conflict to conversation.

I asked him why he hadn’t just disappeared when I defeated him.

And you know what he told me?

His dreams.

Think about it. This guy hasn’t been in this world long, but he still told me what HE wants to do.

So I decided that I’d help him….

To become the supreme Otaku overlord with loyal subjects.

And when his dream comes true, Tosshi will have no reason to remain in my soul.

006

Hijikata: Don’t even try and stop me.

If I want to be rid of him once and for all, I have to do this.

Shinpachi: Hijikata-san…

Kagura: Gin-chan. What is the ‘Otaku overlord.’? Can I be one? I must have a permit first yes?

Gintoki: I don’t think it’s the type of thing you grow around a training institute.

Hijikata: The top idol, Terakado Tsuu…

If I can gain control of her, everything else will fall into my hands.

I can end this battle quickly.

Shinpachi: ‘Into your hands?’ Even I realize that’s a bit much when talking about a fanclub....

Hijikata: Either way, don’t stop me.

This is something I have to do for my existence.

If you get it, stay home and out of my way.

Shinpachi: I’m sorry but…

My feelings for Otsuu-chan won’t be moved by an empty threat. I won’t hand her over to the likes of you.

Gintoki: ‘Hand her over?’ Last I checked you can’t give up something that you never had in the first place.

007

Hijikata: I thought as much.

If you’re starting a fight, there’s no turning back kid.

Shinpachi: It’s the soldier’s duty to protect his princess until the very end.

(Sfx- Baoooo Baooooo *horn sounds!*)

Hijikata: You can’t stop me or my ambition! Stay out of my way!!

(Sfx- Don *Bam*)

Shinpachi: Let the results speak for themselves Hijikata-san!!

(Sfx- Dotsu *Thud!*)

{The Offical Terakado Tsuu fanclub…..}

{Will be lead by ME!!!}

(Side text- Only one man can be left standing!!)

GINTAMA
Lesson 240: Be sure to take your infected friends to a hospital.
SORACHI HIDEAKI

008

Tsuu: Everyon~e!

Do you really love Otsuu?

Otaku: HELL YEAH!!

(SFX- Kuaaaaaa!!)

Tsuu: I can’t hear you!

Otaku: WE FRIGGIN LOVE YOUUUUU~!

Tsuu: R-R-Reaaaaly~ love me?

Otaku: FOR REAAALS~~!!

(Sfx- Kuaaaaaa!)

Tsuu: Welcome to the Television Chanpon Special ‘Terakado Tsuu Official fanclub battle grounds of pianist!!’

(TN- The banner on top says the same thing basically.)

Announcer guy: And a grand welcome to you all!! This will begin the grand festivities!

(Sfx- Kuaaaaa)

Announcer guy: This certainly is a great turn out Otsuu-chan! And they’re all here to see you!

Tsuu: Woow~! Thank you so much everyone!!

009

Announcer guy: Interesting that so many people would show up here! But keep in mind, that although these fans numbers reach nearly one thousand, only one team of four will be chosen!

That team is within this one thousand! Which team has what it takes to become the legendary group branded with the title ‘official’?

Oh my, this is a problem, as it seems like some of you have become a ‘widdle’ scared.

Do you guys have what it takes to be called the ‘official’ Otsuu fanclub?!

(Sfx- kutsu *grip!*)

Otaku: YEAAAH!!

Announcer guy: Are you willing to compromise yourselves for this hallowed position?! Can you ride the waves of trouble and make it to the top?!

Otaku: YEAAAH!!

Announcer guy: Are you willing to walk through flames, water, wherever for Otsuu-chan?!

Otaku: YEAAAH!!

Announcer guy: Would you eat Otsuu-chan’s sOit?!

010

Group: YEAAAAAAH!!!

(Handwritten- What the…hey!)

Announcer guy: Who the hell are these guys?! Moreover what the hell did they just say?!

Go to commercial! Quick! Go to commercial!!

Gintoki: Well that decides the finger food for this party doesn’t it?

All right, let’s start serving up some of Otsuu-chan’s sOit.

First team to clean off a plate gets….something.

(Handwritten- Ma’am your excretions yes?)

Announcer guy: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS TRYING TO TURN THIS INTO?! WOULD YOU BE CONFORTABLE sOitting in front of a crowd?!

Otaku: Are you trying to insinuate that Otsuu-chan does something so dirty?!

She doesn’t poop or fart!! Get lost you morons!!

011

Gintoki: You’re the guys who need to get a life.

(Handwritten- Wanna start something?)

Gintoki: If you really love a person, you gotta accept everything about ‘em. Even the parts that aren’t sanitary.

Whether it’s sOitting, or anything like that, you’ve got to be prepared to understand everything about them wussies.

Our captain understands that perfectly, and that’s exactly why the Terakado Tsuu imperial protection squadron is the team fit for the title of ‘official.’

Shinpachi: I’m going to need you to not involve me in this…..

Otaku: Terakado Tsuu imperial protection squadron?!

Those guys are the strongest…

No way! That platoon was supposed to have lost all of it’s might after it disbanded!!

To think that they’re still alive!!

(Sfx- Don *Bam!*)

Otaku: You’ve got to be kidding!! I daresay I’d never cross paths with them!

Eight of our guys wouldn’t even be close to the same level as one of theirs!!

One out then!!

Two!!

(Sfx- Bata bata *tmp tmp*)

012

Announcer guy: Oh my! This is surprising! Some contestants are running away!

With the appearance of the Terakado Tsuu imperial protection squadron, some teams have decided to give up!!

The Terakado Tsuu imperial protection squadron is fearsome!

Bouncers: What the hell are you doing?! Hurry up and get back there!

Announcer guy: However they are a strange group, turning this competition into a scatology diner….what are they planning?!

(TN- Scatology is the study on feces. It was funnier to keep it as it was. Yes Sorachi actually wrote it in as scatology…..I learned a new word today!)

Shinpachi: I owe you one Gin-san.

Gintoki: I don’t see why you would, I don’t give a crap about this. However I AM in this to win.

Kagura: What are you going on about? I will win. I will sing Otsuu-chan’s song. And I will do it best.

Gintoki: Dummy, this isn’t one of those idol shows.

Takachin: Hey Shin-chan…are you sure they’ll be okay?

Announcer guy: Oh my, seems like the Terakado Tsuu imperial protection squadron is having a little bit of in fighting! Hope they can clear this up!

In any case! Now we need to get all of your attention! Otsuu-chan! How are you feeling?

Tsuu: Y—Yes.

Announcer guy: I’m very sorry about the outburst earlier. Please don’t worry, as your sOit is safe and sound!

???: SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT THAT S*IT!!

Announcer guy: My deepest apologies to all of the teams. I let my mouth do the thinking.

In any case this is where we separate the weak from the strong.

Listen well everyone, we will begin to make our selections for teams right now.

013

Announcer guy: Due to the fact that there are currently enough members to make several teams…

We’ve decided to manually reset the number to four!

Otaku: Are you serious?! From one thousand people to four teams?!

Aren’t you turning this into an all out war then?!

(Sfx- Zawatsu *ruuustle*)

Announcer guy: Otsuu-chan will be the one to choose the team that is bestowed with her love and ‘official’ fan seal.

However there’s no way to do that if there are that many people! So we have to make it a bit easier.

You are allowed to use any kind of ability you have, whether it be of knowledge or physique…

To gain Otsuu-chan’s love and advance through to the finals!

But the most important thing is to put in effort!!

(Sfx- Bata bata *chp chp*)

Announcer guy: Here’s where it’ll all take place.

From here on in Otsuu-chan will be talking to you through Ooedo’s TV dome.

From here it’s a dry land 10 kilo crash course.

Everyone will be expected to run their very best to the goal!!

In short the four who manage to make it to this place first…

Are the ones who will have a chance to claim victory in our competition.

However if a team should come with a person short or a person twoo many they will be disqualified.

So it’s important that you make sure no one in your team decides to give up befor reaching the end.

Tsuu: Everyone~

Hurry up and find me~ I’ll be waiting!

I’ll make sure to be ready too okay?

So meet me there~

Otaku: We’re staring?! Now?!

Hurry up!! Hurry up!!

Here goes…

Matsugorou!!

(Sfx- Don *Bam!*)

015

(Sfx- Dodododo *tmptmptmp*)

Gintoki: Dude, for greasy otaku, they’re ripped! I thought they’d tire out after ten inches, but they may actually be able to pull off ten kilo.

Man, we’ve been forgotten by these guys faster than Yamcha was forgotten by mankind.

Takachin: Shin-chan, let’s run together all right? We’ll cut that golden tape at the end as a team!

Gintoki: Well Kagura, the ball’s in your court.

I’m pooped.

(Sfx- Pon *pat*)

Kagura: Yay! I will get a prize!

Gintoki: Half’s mine, half-wit.

(Sfx- Shutata *dsdshdsh*)

Gintoki: You think we overdid it a little bit Pattsan?

Shinpachi: They’ll be fine with tea.

(Sfx- Doga doga *smack thwok*)

(Handwritten- Yahoooo!!)

Gintoki: Overdoing its bad….like when Nakano Hideo killed himself over a Philippine woman.

Shinpachi: Just get them some tea and they’ll be fine.

(TN- Nakano Hideo is a Japanese actor who appeared in a drama called ‘Ai to iu na no moto ni. In the drama he did kill himself over a Philippine woman.)

Gintoki: I still can’t believe we’re getting chewed up by some otaku though…It feels like a dream.

Maybe it’s because unlike them I don’t stand out?

Shinpachi: I seriously doubt that’s the reason.

Gintoki: What’s with you? Something wrong?

Shinpachi: I…can’t stop thinking about Hijikata-san.

Gintoki: What? About him? Forget about it.

Shinpachi: It’s not really about him….it just that he was able to gather such a strong force so easily….

Gintoki: Keep your shirt on. So what if he’s able to twist his words around so that he gts a few otaku to jump up and down? Don’t let it get to you.

016

Gintoki: At any rate, it’s better if we get to the TV dome and talk about it while sitting.

I can’t clear my head with all of this running…besides this is easier.

Shinpachi: You’re just going to throw in the towel?!?!

You can’t do that!! Sure you’re not openly giving up, but at the same time if you break the rules and get there using a method like that, it’s the same as resigning!!

Gintoki: It’s cool. Even Nishimura Tomomi who’s on TV twenty-four seven would find a way to avoid the cameras while riding around in her car….its where she got prepared.

(TN- All I know about her is that she’s a famous actress who debuted in the 1980’s, known for her demure beauty and soft dreamy voice. She still does some movie and drama even today.)

Shinpachi: You’re not preparing for anything!! We’re trying to become official here, and the last thing we need is for them to see you in there!!

Takachin: Knock it off doofus!!

We’re taking this thing damn seriously, and the last thing we need is for you to screw it up!!

(Sfx- gatsu *grip*)

Gintoki: How about I clean that snot off your face with my fist kid?

Takachin: No matter how you look at him, he doesn’t understand the basics of teamwork!! This guy’s got some kind of anti-social complex!!

Gintoki: Shut your face. Complexes are the springs that mankind uses to become better, and in some cases become our endearing trait.

Who doesn’t like a cutie with an inferiority complex? In any case, step to me again and I’ll snip your endearing traits right out of your mouth, rat boy.

Takachin: Really now?! I’d like to see you do it!!!

Shinpachi: Come on guys! Takachin! Stop it!! If he really breaks your endearing traits, there won’t be anything left of you!!

Takachin: I don’t give a dam—

(Sfx- Gotsu *Twok*)

017

(Sfx- Dosa *Thud*)

Shinpachi: Ta----

TAKACHINNN!!!

Takachin! Speak to me!!

Takachin: Urgh…my teeth they’re…broke….

H…How do I loo---

Shinpachi: That’s the least of our problems!!

Takachin: I have….O—o---other problems?

018

Okita: Looks like everything’s fine here…nothing out of the ordinary.

Right…to the TV station.

Ooedo TV dome.

Shinpachi: TAKACHIN!!!

Gintoki: Uh…

Just now, did you see what I just saw? Not only were those creepy clothes familiar…so was the guy driving the taxi! …more like was he taking people to the TV station in that?

Shinpachi: What?! This isn’t the time to worry about the little things!!

Takachin: uurgh…

Shinpachi: We have to hurry and take Takachin to a ho….

{If one member of your team gives up….}

{You forfeit…feit…eit…it…}

019

Shinpachi: Ho..ho…

Hot hair salon!!

Gintoki: Yeah, His hair’s looking a little drab~

In any case we can’t hang around here! Let’s go!

Shinpachi: Takachin!! Stand up man! That’s why I told you not to go clubbing last night!! You always get hung-over!

(Sfx- Suruzuru *shhssssss*)

Shinpachi: In any case, we can take a rest at the TV station!! Hahahahahah!

His eyes are white Gin-san! Look at ‘em! That’s Takachin for you, he love sto party although he can’t handle his alcohol! Aha----we should go to a ho----

Gintoki: Hot hair stylist!

Shinpachi: ….Really we should consider….what’s that?

Yamazaki: Huh?

What are you doing here Boss?

(Side text- Okita and Yamazaki……Next time the death match continues!!)

GINTAMA LESSON 240………………END.