Gintama 249

I should point out to scantlators that 248 is translated already, and while I'm going to eventually do my own, you shouldn't hold your breath on that one. I'm gonna march on with 249+ until I have time to cover 248. So If you don't want a gap, better use ataru's work.

Oh yes, this lesson was full of epic. I wonder who the demon king is though?

GINTAMA

(Side text- The boss is here!!)

{Emperor Demon tapir}

{The castle in Bifizs has been captured thanks to our legion of Ecoli viruses.}

(Side text- The mark is that fool! The latest volume of the Jump comics #27 is now out in stores!!)

???: Is that so? Excellent. With our forces growing rapidly in power and ferocity, we'll soon have the whole system in our grip.

In no time at all this machine will be ours, along with it's precious system.

And there won't be a single being that will be able to stand in our way....

The science and technology agency's machinery is nothing short of amazing.

Soon enough there won't be anything left of them.

Guard: Your highness!

Emperor: What is it? You're noisy.

Guard: The platoon in the leukocyte kingdom has been completely defeated!

Emperor: What...?

002

Emperor: Don't be foolish. The leukocyte country should have already been suppressed. After all, only their king is still among the active forces, and he's MIA.

Other than him, there's no one with the fangs to pierce our forces...

Guard: According to our information, he's cosplaying dragon quest, and has become a one man leukocyte force.

Moreover he has three humans with him, and a dot matrix android, completing his party.

Emperor: D—Dragon quest?! C-Could it be...

That fool...he was alive all of this time....

Tell our forces to scatter around and search for him!

If he should find out about the Demon Tapir King, he'll come to destroy it for sure! Any remaining soldiers should be notified and put finding him as their foremost priority!! We have to protect this castle at all costs!!

Guard: Yes sir!

???: He has...

Emperor: Yes...

He,

Has arrived.

The leukocyte king,

and the brave warriors from the outside...they have all arrived at this castle...!!!

(Side text- The leader of the people.....!!)

(Sfx- Hyoooooooo 'whoooooo')

GINTAMA
Lesson 249: There are always two guys in a party of warriors that essentially do the same thing.
SORACHI HIDEAKI

003

King: That's Tama-sama's main system.

I'm sure that the virus's corruption begins there, as it's their base of operations.

The main brain behind the tapir and their infection has nested there. As long as he remains, tapir will continue to be born. This force is called the Demon Tapir king.

He is the one behind Tama-sama's sickness, the one giving birth to the tapir, along with being their king.

We need to exterminate him quickly, or we will never be able tos top the tapir.

Peace will never return to us, and Tama-sama will soon fall completely to her sickness.

Tama: It seems that the Tapir king has already taken over much of the mainfraim.

We will need to act soon, before all of the defenses here become tapir's forces.

Shinpachi: There's a problem though, and that's getting to the Tapir king to defeat him.

As expected he's got lots of guards around the castle....they're all wearing black tights too...

(Sfx- Za za za 'tmp tmp tmp')

Kagura: They do seem strong. We will not win if we fight each one.

Tama: This is the Tapir Demon King's fort. It is here that countless Viruses are born and sent out.

Without a battle plan, I'm afraid laying siege to this place is impossible...

Gintoki: Hey now, give me a break.

004

Gintoki: I have a bad feeling about even coming here.

Why does it seem that your brain has been devoured by Dragon quest? Moreover, if we go into that castle, how are we sure that this Idiot here won't evolve and turn on us? That sounds like a real dragon quest scenario to me.

After all he's the same as them.

(Sfx- Zun zun 'fwish')

Gintoki: We don't need any battle strategy.

We'll just go and kick their asses. Simple.

King: Hold it!!

(Sfx- Pokiii 'doof'!)

Gintoki: Umph!!

King: We will not charge into the demon king's lair with such an inane plan as 'let's just go kick their asses!!'

Fools like yourself are exactly why magicians have to use up all of their MP healing you after you get beaten down by the demon king every time! We don't have the spell power to have a long and drawn out battle with him.

(Handwritten- Ugh, dirty.)

(Sfx- Fuki fuki 'wiff wiff')

King: If we are to follow YOUR directions, our party would be annihilated on the spot. I'm against letting an air headed playboy be in charge of our party! We need someone who can save Tama-sama! Now if it were a charge on the bar, I'm sure your expertise would come in handy.

Gintoki: Who's an airheaded playboy?! Ok sure I am pretty awesome with the ladies, but Me and Bianca's son are going to become the sky heroes! I'm not just SOME playboy, I'm the sky playboy dammit!!

(TN- Thanks to strangeataru who looked this up, but apparently Bianca is one of the women you could marry in the Dragon Quest V video game.)

King: It's fruitless to go to the demon king and wage battle without some sort of protection. We should preserve our physical strength, and buy some medicinal herbs.

Our plan will be based upon 'magic spell casting'.

(Handwritten- Hey did you hear what I said you cosplaying idiot?)

Shinpachi: Uh that would be great if we could use magic....

005

Gintoki: You really think we'll be able to defeat the Demon king with that kind of halfassed plan? That's why you're an idiot.

It's cause guys like you are so stingy with MP that you finally get it fully charged too little too late as you watch the whole party get decimated by the demon king.

Let's just go with the 'Excluding Clift let's go kick their asses' plan.

Shinpachi: I've never heard of a plan like that!! And who's Clift?!

Gintoki: Clift is the guy in the party that no one really needs, and will probably be killed by the demon king first. In a sense, he's the Shinpachi of the warrior's party. It's best if he doesn't talk much.

Shinpachi: SO YOU'RE SAYING I'M USELESS THEN!!

(TN- Again thanks to Strangeataru for looking this up, but Clift is a priest from Dragon Quest IV. (This is not an arc for a non-gamer like myself to translate....)

King: Clift can be a working member of the party as well! You're pathetic! I knew you don't have what it takes to spearhead this party!

Gintoki: Shut your noise hole. You're the same as Clift you know. Running away from Burai and Toruneko and spreading vicious rumors about them....after you're the one who left them to die aren't you?!

Shinpachi: And there they go again....

Kagura: Let us do something then.

Tama: Understood. Why not compromise both plans into 'Our lives are more important than Clift's'?

Shinpachi: Do you intend to just let Clift die?! Moreover are you agreeing that I'm usless then?!

Gintoki: See?! We'd might as well go with what I said! The 'Let's go kick Clift's ass!' plan!

Shinpachi: Why are you being so mean to Clift?! He's already hurting from your attacks!!

King: Then let us go with 'Using Clift' as our core strategy.

Shinpachi: You're basically saying the same thing!! You both just think Clift's a nuisance don't you!!

Kagura: I will not leave it to you fools then. I will do something.

(Sfx- Pyo 'hop')

Kagura: If I distract them you will be able to sneak in yes?

006

Shinpachi: KAGURA-CHAAAAN!!

She's totally got the heart of a true warrior! But that's at the expense of making us look like idiots!!

Gintoki: We can't just stand around here, we've got to take this chance!!

King: Wait!!

(Sfx- Goshaaa 'thwaaack')

Gintoki: Guwaaah!

King: Warriors should head onto the battlefield first!

I will be the one to rescue Tama-sama!!

(Sfx- Datsu 'dasssssh')

007

(Sfx- Butsuu 'wiff')

(Sfx- Dogoooooo 'thuuuuud')

Gintoki: What the hell do you think you're doing cosplay hero!!!

If I let you lead this offensive, it's the same as suicide!

I'll do the....

(Sfx- Datsu 'dash')

(Sfx- Oshaaaa 'shhhhssssssh')
(Sfx- Gotsu 'thwok')

Gintoki: Ugh!

(Sfx- Gya gya gyah)

(Sfx- Goro goro goro 'rmb rmb rmb')

King: A playboy should know his place! You don't need to talk of being a hero! The leader of this party is me!!

Gintoki: Don't screw around! Who needs a loser hero like yourself to lead?! This is the era of the sky heroes!!

Shinpachi: HEEYYY!!! What are the two of you doing?! Is this really the time or place for fighting?!

Shinpachi: The two of them have the same face and the same stubborn attitude!!

Tama-san, did you think it over thoroughly when you decided to model your protection program after Gin-san?!

Rather than being the ultimate combo, they seem to be the ultimate failures!!

008

Tama: I had always thought that since Cake and Ramen have such good tatstes that together they'd have a splendid taste beyond measure. But it seems that I have miscalculated somewhere.....Instead it seems like they are nasty when mixed....

I couldn't have fathomed that it would fail to this extend though.

Shinpachi: What's wrong with you!? Is your head broken?! You used a basis like that to pair the two of them up?!

Oh crap! The enemy's noticed them! Run for it Gin-san! King!!

King: You ingrate!!

As nothing more than a simple microorganism you shouldn't touch me...

SO CASUALLY!!!

(Sfx- DOGAAAAAAA 'THATHOOOOM')

{Domesto- The lymphocyte king's ultimate light mystery move. It disinfects all viruses, but is not limited to those that are computer born. It can also disinfect viruses in the kitchen, toilet and other places where nasty things are born. One should be careful, and use it only in places with high ventilation. If your skin should come in contact with this move please wash your hands throughly and consult a doctor.)

009

(Sfx- Buhaaaaaaa)

(Sfx- pusu pusu 'fsssh fsssh')

Gintoki: Heheheh...

(Sfx- Gatsu 'grip')

Gintoki: If that's what you'd call the true power of a hero...

Then you're in big trouble punk. You're not gonna stop anyone with that.

And now...

It's my turn.

(Sfx- Goooooooo 'fwoooooo')

Gintoki: EAT THIS!!!

{Magicklin- The origin for this anti virus weapon is foreign, an the darkness content of it is usually hidden. The waves that this anti virus attack emits erases all viruses who are foolish enough to linger close to it. It also doubles as a solution to persistent oil stains, and can be used with a light attribute. It is dangerous however to allow children to play with it, so please keep it out of their reach.)

(Sfx- Doooouuu 'thoooooom!')

010

(Sfx- Bugahhhhhh!)

(Sfx- Pusu pusu 'fwisssh')

King: Hmph...

So that's all you've got huh?

Even a slime would laugh at that pathetic attempt at an attack. Keep fighting that way and your mother will find you home in the morning...as a corpse.

(Sfx- Zatsu 'swiff')

King: Behold a true hero's power! Aliel!!

Gintoki: I can't hear you!! Chaminglin!!

King: You've still got lots to learn! Fabiliz!

Gintoki: What'd you say?!

FAMILY FRESH!!!

King: Where are you aiming?!

Dub!!

Gintoki: I've got you now! Mama lemon!!

(TN- Okay...kanji time. I wouldn't do this if some of these weren't so hilarious on their own. Aliel is 'Flowing corner nook poem' Chaminglin is 'Flying Green italian wisteria tree' Fabliz is 'Negative dancing ripper marrow' Family fresh is 'Dad's second marriage green Italian wisteria tree' Dub is 'Ignorant fool' And Mama lemon is 'Italian Wisteria shoe polish scent.')

Shinpachi: GYAAAH!!!

What the hell are they doing?! They're just messing around now aren't they!?

(Sfx- Gyan 'fwish')

Tama: No, please take a closer look. The viruses who were drawing close to them are now being dlted.

If they should keep that up, my system should start to restore itself...they really are the ultimate....

Shinpachi: Hey look! Their attacks are combining?!

That...that light...!!

(Sfx- Gatsu 'sheeen!')

011

(Sfx- DOOON 'THOOOM')

{Megaten- The result of light and darkness cohabiting and being released in a huge explosive shock wave. Friends, foes, and anyone caught up in this shock wave is burnt to a crisp. Please use this move in a wide open area and away from family and friends. It is not edible.}

(TN- Megaten's kanji come together to mean 'Ripping apart our own heaven')

(Sfx- Pusu pusu 'fwsssh')

Gengai: Whoa...Are those guys going to be okay...?

(Sfx- Gogogogogo 'rmmmmmmmble')

012

Shinpachi: Somehow it seems...

That those two are...

the most dangerous of all.

(Sfx- Yoro yoro 'wobble wobble.')

Kagura: It was a mistake to meet him. We are risking death to be with a doppleganger.

It seems that he too will be a fellow traveler.

Tama: But now we are only steps away from taking over the virus's castle, and no guard stand in our way. Just as I planned.

Shinpachi: YOU LIAR!! WE'RE ABOUT TO FIGHT THE DEMON KING WITH NO MP LEFT! OUR STATUS TERMINALS ARE RED!! WHAT'LL WE DO?!

King: Never fear. Usually before the fight with the last boss begins,

Demon king: You came at full strength? I'll have fun torturing you to death.

King: he'll say something like that, and then all of your HP and MP will be fully restrored.

Shinpachi: So we're relying on the enemy now?!

Moroever, this isn't a video game you guys, there's no save data no revival magic, nothing. If we die once, it's over.

So please stop fighting! We're supposed to be comrades who back each other up...from here on in let's act more like it okay?

(Sfx- Zaza 'swif')

King: So it comes down to your lives huh?

I've been telling you to go home from the beginning. I can handle this alone.

013

Kagura: You there.

Why do you continue to be stubborn?

Gin-chan and yourself. No. All of us want to accomplish the same thing.

We protect Tama. Inside or outside. So we are of the same ideal yes?
Yet you do not try to help. Do you want Tama to break?

King: That's why you must leave.

I understand that you have come to save Tama-sama, because she is as important to you as she is to me.

However coming here when you are not machinery is foolish.

There have to be other ways for you to help.

You must protect her...

From the outside where I cannot.

I'm different however.

I cannot leave here and protect Tama-sama.

I have no other reason to exist other than to stay here....

I have to live to ensure that she lives. I have nothing more than my life to give to Tama-sama.

014

(Sfx- Gari 'clop')

King: GYAAAAAAAH!!

(Sfx- Bushuuu 'blllooorsh')

King: Tama-sama has other things existing in here after alll!!!!

Shinpachi: WHAT GOOD ARE YOU IF A SIMPLE TRAP'S THE ONE THAT WORKS?!

King: I hope you understand, I am the only one who can protect Tama-sama.

Shinpachi: You'd be a LOT more convincing if you weren't bleeding so much!!

(Sfx- Bushuuu 'bloooorsh')

King: You should prepare yourself with more training if you want to be of any use.

Shinpachi: WHAT TRAINING TO YOU NEED TO SEE THAT A CHEAP TRAP IS A CHEAP TRAP?!

King: If you get it, go home!!!

Shinpachi: I would, If you'd let me go. I used to think a lot of you, but that's slowly dissipating.

King: Don't worry about this trap!! I'm fine! Now quickly get out of here! You're in the way!!

I'm the only warrior that can protect Tama-sama!!!

(Sfx- Gyaaah!!!)

(Sfx- Gyaaah!!!)

{You're the same right?}

015

Tama: You humbled yourself so that you could come and protect me...

Coming to this uncooperative place...

You're like everyone's base...

Gintoki: You're not comparing me to that embarrassment are you?

Tama: I've gathered information while working with all of you, all the while trying to become slighty more human like.

That's why he's so much like you, a person that I couldn't stand to see die...

You should understand him most...

Why he wants you all to return to let him do things on his own...

Why he wants to bear the burden himself...

Gintoki: Wait a second, could it be you planned for us to meet...?

Hey! Your body is dis---

Tama: It seems that this version of myself is beginning to shut down....It's a premonition of Tapir's growing strength...

016

Tama: There is no longer any more time.

I have but one last wish before I dis—apear.

It may be already too late for my system to be restored....

As Tapir may have---already---become---too deeply---embedded in---my memory...

Plea-se---at least---ta--ke---care of---h--im.
There is n---o---need to---wor-ry about me..

At—lea--st--if he—can—be---freed, It---wi---ll be---fine...

He's a---lww-ay-s pr—otect-ed me..

He's m---y...

M---y one---and on---ly fr---ien--d.

P—leaa-se pro—tect---hi-m...

017

Gintoki: Tama....

Sorry, but I don't think I can fulfill that request...

If that bastard wouldn't let me help before...

I doubt he'll change his mind now.

But trust me when I say he won't die...

No one will.

'Cause your friend....

Becomes my friend.

018

Emperor: Listen up!!

Not even one mouse is allowed to enter this area!!

Soon this system will fall completely at the feet of our regime!

We will rebuild in the glorious shape of or Demonic king Tapir! In order to do this, we must protect him at all costs!!

Now go forthhhhhh!!!

(Sfx- Dopanaaaa 'FWOOSH')

019

Emperor: Wh---

WHAAAAAAAT?

What is the meaning of this?! Where did all of you goooo?! Come back!! Don't leave me here you fooolllss!!!

??: Yo, looks like you're the last one left.

It's always a good idea to make sure the heroes are as close to level 99 as they can get before fighting the demon king.

It's a pain in the ass to have to raise your levels trying to get that high...

King: That's why we should have gone to the western capillary. There's a training spot where we cou have fought sparrows there until we had our levels high enough. Well it's fine we should be good as is.

Gintoki: Since we're both at level 99...that would make us level 198 right?

King: I'm at level 100 though.

Gintoki: Well I'm actually at 101.

(Sfx- Zaan)

(Side text- Now! There's no crying until the ending credits roll!!)

King: To be honest, I'm at level 103.

GINTAMA LESSSON 249..............END.