Sket Dance 26

1
Last Time's Events
A tournament based on the properties hosted on the mobile-phone game website "Vivage City"... the "Gachinko Vivage Battle". Thanks to a mission from Yabasawa-san and a request from a magazine covering the event, both the Sket-dan and the Student Council have their respective excuses to face one another in battle here. However, the reality behind the pretences is an all-out war, with the pride of both teams (or at least of their leaders, Bossun and Tsubaki) at stake!
It's the big showdown you've been waiting for since the series started! Even the author doesn't know where he's going with this! Who on Earth knows what will happen?!
Himeko: Should ya really SAY that?!!
Shinzou: I accept your proposal.
[insert text: "I accept"... is this, then, the mysterious "Sket Machine I"?!]
Bossun: Well, that's that, then. "Sket Machine I" is Shinzou.
Himeko: But why the hell did he accept so quickly? // You bored or somethin'?
Shinzou: Hahahah... The truth is, if you must know, I am actually a regular customer of Vivage, and have in fact mastered many of their games.
Bossun: Yeah, I figured you might be, that's why I asked you. You do seem to be big on mobile phones.
Himeko: An' he calls himself a samurai...
Bossun: All right! Now we have all the members we need! We're going all the way!!!
People: YEAH!!!
Someone: For the mouth like a "3"!!
People: YEAH!!!
Yabasawa: Th... thanks AWFULLY, everyone!

2
Sket Dance
Chapter 26: The War Begins!!
[insert text: Onward!! To the field of battle!]
[sign: Gachinko Vivage Battle]
Announcement: Will a representative from each team come to the main desk and submit their team member list!
Tsubaki/Bossun: One five-man team from Kaimei High School. // Huh.

3
SecretaryPerson: Aahhh! // (What IS this incredible murderous tension...?!!)
Bossun: Well, well, well... fancy seeing you here. // Student Council boy... "Eyelashes-kun", was it?
Daisy: Such a pity for you that your twisted character saw fit to manifest itself in that abominable hairstyle. // I suggest you die and start over.
Tsubaki: You don't have to butt in like that!! // How am I supposed to say anything if you do that?!! // Hah. So it was true... you really did show up here, Sket-dan. / You must have a lot of free time to be entering yourselves in such frivolous activities off-campus. // Could it be that you wished to cross swords with us?
Michiru: ...Why is he trash-talking all of a sudden?

4
Bossun: Hah. You think the world revolves around you or something? We're here on a job, that's all. // We just want to get the mouth-like-a-3 for Yabasawa-san here.
Tsubaki: "Mouth like a 3"? // Stop blathering indecipherable nonsense! / If you wish to explain yourself, it is only common courtesy to do so in a manner that others will understand.
Bossun: Nah, you know what? Just forget it. // Though I'd better warn you - we're not settling for anything less than the grand prize. So you'd better start thinking up your excuses for losing right now.
Tsubaki: We shall do no such thing! For we, too, have come here with every intention of emerging the victors! // And we have no intention of going easy on you simply because we attend the same school, so I suggest you prepare yourselves!!
[sFX: snap]

5
Tsutomu: Oh, that was just fabulous, Tsubaki-kun!!
[box: Shonen Jump Editor / Tomori Tsutomu]
Tsutomu: Just as expected of the hot-blooded vice-president!!
Bossun: Who're these punks?
Switch: They would appear to be the magazine editors following the Student Council's progress. // It is said that they keep themselves busy working on manuscripts, phototypesetting, attending cabaret clubs, and the like.
Himeko: What the hell...?
Tsutomu: And the rest of you, I'd like to hear your thoughts on the upcoming matches ahead!
Soujirou: Well, you know.
Mimori: Ah, if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to give you this Chateaubriand steak. To share with the rest of the team!
Michiru: I think my expression back there was a little off... could you perhaps take another?
Daisy: Your breath stinks, so if you would please conduct your business from a distance.
Tsutomu: Hey... these guys seem like one hell of a handful. / They are as good as you say, right?
OtherGuy: Well, so I've heard...
Tsutomu: Whatever. We'll base this thing around Tsubaki. / And those guys... I think we could use them. // Hey... you guys over there!

6
Tsutomu: I mean... man, you guys seem like really somethin', huh? / Rivals from the same school facing off in the tournament... this sort of thing is just the kind of angle I like to have! I'm glad you're taking part! // So I was just wondering, but would it be too much trouble for you guys to face off against the Student Council in a face-off match and lose with style -
Bossun: Screw you. // You ain't got anything to do with us! Don't get us mixed up in their stupid article or whatever!
Tsutomu: Wh - What's with him...?!
Soujirou: Hahahah... // Well, they're here for their own reasons, so you should probably leave them be.
Tsutomu: Oh, but come on, Agata-kun! You know it'll all be more exciting if you win...
Soujirou: Well... we certainly don't intend to hold back, or anything.
Bossun: Hmm?
Soujirou: But I really don't think getting them to let us win would be an easy task...

7
[box: The Gachinko Vivage Battle preliminaries begin! // From Kaimei High, the Sket-dan team... // ...and the Student Council team... // ...each spurred on by the other's presence, soar above the other participating teams in terms of sheer motivation... // ...and easily blaze through the preliminaries. // Keeping up that same momentum, they proceed to blaze their way up the main tournament rankings...]

8
[box: ...Until they finally face off against one another in the final.]
[TN: What's the betting the Shonen Jump editor guys fixed the tournament to make sure they didn't meet until the final?]
Himeko: How rushed can you get?!!
Announcer: Well, today in the Tsukinoshima Multipurpose Grounds, a gust of wind seems to have caught the fire of passion in mid-stride! And indeed, that same wind seems to have stoked something of a fire in the heart of myself, Nitta, head of proceedings today! // This is the deciding battle of the Gachinko Vivage Battle! / And that passion is bursting forth already from our ten warriors as they stand here, ready to engage in the final battle!! // This is, through some miraculous turn of events, a battle between two rival teams from the same school! // The Student Council Executives of Kaimei High School, versus... // ...from that selfsame Kaimei High, the "Sket-dan" team!!

9
Announcer: Who could possibly have anticipated such a thrilling climax?!!! // The ultimate players are now assembled!! // The ultimate stage is set for battle!! // And now, they lay their will and their pride on the line! Tsubaki looks ready to leap into the fray!!! Good luck, brave warriors!!!
Somebody: Will this guy just shut UP?!!
RefereePerson: Well, then, let us begin the final round. // If both team leaders would please come to the fore.
Himeko: Bossun, sock him a good one!!!
Soujirou: Tsubaki.... / You go out there.
Tsubaki: Understood.
RefereePerson: Right, now, please shake hands.

10
RefereePerson: ............ // ...Huuuuh......? // Ahh, yes... / Could one of you perhaps try offering the other hand...?
Tsubaki: I'm left-handed.
RefereePerson: Well, then... // Let's go with the left -
Bossun: I'm right-handed. // Why don't you try showing others a little more respect, huh?
Himeko: Nice goin', Bossun!!
RefereePerson: Ahhh.........? ......Err...... / Whaaa.........? // Well... just forget about the handshake, then.
Himeko: Good work out there, Bossun! / You showed him!! A real mental battle!!
Soujirou: Hahahah...
Michiru: You knew that was going to happen, didn't you... / You shouldn't really play around with him like that...
Announcer: Well, then, it's time to unveil the events in which our contestants will be competing! / So I'd like to ask the teams to think carefully over the descriptions, and choose one member to compete in each event! / Here goes!! These are the events that will give us a winner once and for all!!!

11
Announcer: First up!!! We have the cookery action game "Cooking Colosseum"! // In this Gachinko Vivage Battle, our contestants will be called upon to make actual recipes, in an all-out kitchen battle! What kind of strange foodstuffs could come out of this event?!! // The second event is based on our hand-to-hand fighting game, "Spirit Fighter"! // With its intense fighting action, this is one game that everyone's talking about! In our live-action version, contestants will face off in actual combat!! // Our third game is based on shoot-em-up game "Shooting Gangster"! // In the original game, players faced off in armed combat against enemy gangs... but how will this be translated into our tournament version?! // Coming up next... it's dating simulation game "Kokuhaku Monogatari"!
[TN: That's "Tale of Confession", literally, if anybody cares.]
Announcer: Wow, we've even got romance in this tournament!! Could a thorough knowledge of the original material be of use to the contestants as they face off in a battle of love?! // And finally, we'll be finishing up with a card game!!! // There will be no cheating here!! We'll be pitting our contestants against each other in an original card game of our own design that has yet to be released! With both players on an equal footing, this is sure to be a true Gachinko Game Battle!!!

12
Announcer: Now, then, if each team could decide which member will be competing in which event! // You have ten minutes to finalise your choices!
Himeko: What're we gonna do, Bossun?
Bossun: ............ // Tsubaki will probably want to take part in the physical combat event... / So that one ought to be mine... // ...Or so I'd like to say, but... / There's no point playing it like that... we're in this to win. // All right!! / Our participant in the combat round will be... // You, Himeko!!
Himeko: All right, leave it to me!!! // I won't hold back in there!!!

13
Bossun: If I'm not mistaken... Yabasawa-san, you're pretty good at cookery, right?
Yabasawa: Mmm... / I guess.
Bossun: Well, then, I'll leave the first round to you.
Yabasawa: Okay. / Awful.
Bossun: Awf...?! Er, yeah, okay... sometimes I just don't get you.
Shinzou: Bossun-dono! / What of myself?
Bossun: You, Shinzou... // You take the final. / The card-game match.
Shinzou: Whaaat?!! // Th - the final...?! / Me?!
Bossun: That game's a bit of a mystery, we don't really know what it's gonna be like. So we need someone who's got a lot of experience in mobile-phone games, which narrows it down to you or Switch. / But Switch is really the only choice for the second-to-last match, the dating-sim game.
Shinzou: B - But...!
Bossun: Don't worry... with any luck, this'll be settled before we even get to the final match. / At any rate, we don't want you looking weak, so make sure you prepare yourself as though you were going in there for a kendo match.
Shinzou: ............!! // Understood.

14
Himeko: So then, Bossun, you...
Bossun: I'll be going in for the third match, the shooting game. // It's the best event to take advantage of my Concentration Mode!!
Himeko: A - Ahh, yeah!! // (That's so boring...)
Shinzou: I can't wait to see it!! // (How very boring...)
Bossun: So basically, we've got ourselves a lineup. // We're all set!!!
Himeko: It's totally perfect!!
Switch: It certainly is the optimal arrangement.
Bossun: Yeah, I know!! It's almost too perfect, don't'cha think?!!
Yabasawa: Hello...? / ...Yeah. / Wha - ?!
Shinzou: I - I'm starting to get very nervous, I think I'll take my Frisk now -
Himeko: No, no, no!! You'll screw yourself up for when your match comes around!! Just focus!!
Yabasawa: Mm... Whaaat?! Oh, but that's just too awful!!

15
Yabasawa: Well, you can say that, but - ! // Yeah... // Mm... Okay.
Bossun: Hm? / D - Did something happen, Yabasawa-san...?
Yabasawa: ............ // Yeah... // It's super-SUPER-awful.
Bossun: It's... / Huh? WHAT is?!
Yabasawa: I'm really sorry, guys... it looks like I'm gonna have to head home right away...
Bossun: Whaaa?!! // But... why?!!! The events are about to start!!!
Yabasawa: Yes, but... the thing is...

16
Yabasawa: My brother's been in an accident...
Bossun: AGAIN?! // That's the guy in the theatre group, right?! Wasn't he in an accident just a while back already...?!!
Yabasawa: Yeah... Well, it's not life-threatening, and his wounds are only minor... My parents are with him at the hospital now...
Himeko: Well, surely ya don't need to head over there right away, then?
Yabasawa: Well, yeah, that's true, but... // Apparently Yeti's run away.
Bossun: AGAIN?!!
Yabasawa: So I have to go and find him before something awful happens to him!!
Bossun: Well... / Mmm... Yeah... I guess... / No! But...
Yabasawa: Well, anyway, I'll be seeing you awful later!!
Bossun: Whaaaaaa?!!
Yabasawa: I'm sure you'll win the tournament for me awfully!
Bossun: "Awfully"?
Himeko: H - Hold it a second!! Wait right there!! If you leave, we'll be short on members!!
Bossun: And besides, aren't we doing this for your number-3 mouth - / Hey, Yabasawa-saaaaan!!!

17
Himeko: What're we gonna do?!! She actually went and ran off! What the hell's WRONG with her?!!!
Bossun: Th - this isn't good! We might end up disqualified or something...!!
RefereePerson: Is there something wrong, Sket-dan?
Bossun: Ahh... well, you see... / The thing is...
Referee: One of your members ran away?! // A monkey... and an accident... and... what?! / I don't get it at all! What on earth do you people think you're playing at?!!
Bossun/Himeko: W... We're very sorry.
RefereePerson: Well... we can't allow the final to be ruined by this, so I think I will have to permit a member change. / Find a replacement as quickly as possible! // But if you don't make it in time, we'll just have to declare that match an automatic loss!
Bossun: Th - Thank you so much!! // All right! We've gotta get in touch with someone and get them over here right now! / Momoka should be fine! Himeko, get her on the phone!!
Himeko: Gotcha!!

18
Announcer: Could the teams please now submit their completed allocations!
Switch: Bossun... isn't it a bad idea to keep Yabasawa-san in the first round?
Bossun: Ahh! / Ahhh, you're right!! // We've gotta stall for time until we can get a replacement here... / Ahhh... in that case, we should get her as low down as possible... // The final match...? // No, no, that would be putting too much pressure on the replacement... // Ahh, let's just make it the second-to-last match! / Gahhh, now I've gotta get them all back in order...!
Announcer: Sket-dan team, please submit your allocations immediately!
Bossun: Aaaaaghhhhhhhh! Oh - dammit, I'll just shove them in wherever!!
Shinzou: A - Are you sure that's a good idea?!
Bossun: This one here, this one over here...
[board:]
Final Showdown
Student Council Executives VS Sket-dan
Shinba Michiru - Round 1 - Onizuka Hime
Tsubaki Sasuke - Round 2 - Takemitsu Shinzou
Asahina Kikuno - Round 3 - Usui Kazuyoshi
Unyuu Mimori - Round 4 - Yabasawa Moe
Agata Soujirou - Round 5 - Fujisaki Yuusuke
[/Board]
[TN: Oh, dear... I can't see Himeko winning at cookery. Shinzou in a fistfight... that's anyone's guess, but he is at least a fighter. Though I don't think going up against Tsubaki will be good for his nerves ~_~ Switch in a shooting game? I can't even imagine it. Though Switch vs. Daisy IS an awesome match-up. As for the fourth round... Well, assuming Momoka does end up as the replacement, I'm really not sure how well she can handle a romance scenario. They should really try to get a hold of Roman for that one, she'd be a brilliant match-up for Mimori. But hey, at least they got the last one right. Bossun vs. Soujirou should be epic. I daresay he'll do better than Shinzou would have done there, at any rate, and his powers of concentration could easily help him out in a card game. Well, we'll see... *reads on*]

19
Shinzou: Wh - what on Earth could you possibly have been thinking?! / I thought it looked like you were shuffling them around more than necessary, but...!!! // What on Earth happened to that "perfect lineup" we had a minute ago?!!
Bossun: I - I just can't think under pressure... my head goes totally blank...
Shinzou: BOSSUN-DONO!! / Surely in such situations you should use your Concentration Mode......!
Bossun: OH, JUST SHADDUP, YOU STUPID FAKE SAMURAI!! JUST GO STUFF A HUNDRED OF THOSE FRISK DOWN YOUR FREAKIN' THROAT!!!
Himeko: Bossu~n...
Announcer: Now, then, it's time for us to begin the matches proper! // The first match is a cookery battle!! / And the combatants... from the Student Council, Shinba Michiru, versus... // The Sket-dan team's Onizuka Hime!!!
Himeko: Wha - ?!
[insert text: H - Himeko?! Cooking?! Things are off to a bad start!!]