Gintama 653

[Gintama 653 Translation by Kewl0210]
Page 1:
Top Insert: ☆Jump Comics Volume 70 goes on sale October 4th (Wed.)!!
Left Insert: Arriving on a far-away planet...
Title: 'Gintama'
Guy: Oh?
Well there's a face I haven't seen in quite some time.
You've still been
collecting those things?
SFX: DOSA
Guy: I would think
those would be nothing but rocks to you now.
Now that
your wife has passed away, I mean.

Page 2:
Guy: And where did you get those?
You know better than anyone that those are super-s-class rare items. Some people call those Altana crystals the lives of planets.
How in blazes did you get so many of something that sometimes blooms only once per planet?
Kouan's crystal was depleted for your wife, wasn't it?
Wait, don't tell me... You went all over the universe collecting...
Umi: You hit the nail on the head, Gramps.
After I let her die, to me, these things
are nothing but the kinda regular stones
you might find lying anywhere in the universe.
But
regular stones
have their uses.

Page 3:
Umi: There's somebody I wanna stone to death with these things.
Would ya lend me a hand?
Guy: ...I see. But just what sort of gigantic enemy
would you need all these rocks for, oh greatest hunter in the universe? ["rocks" in italics]
Umi: It's the smallest
but most dangerous creature I've ever gone after.

Page 4:
Insert: The night rabbits
gather beneath the moon---
Title: Lesson 653
Two Swords
Author: Sorachi Hideaki

Page 5:
Guys: Crystals?!
SFX: WAAAA
Somebody: So using those
you can annul Utsuro's immortality?!
Umi: .........
Utsuro ain't immortal.
Those "mutants" receive a planet's Altana when they're born, making them into a special kind of mutant creatures.
Altana flows in their veins like blood.
They take in the Altana that glows from the planet's surface and turn it into energy.
As long as they have that supply of Altana, they can remain alive and kicking forever.

Page 6:
Utsuro: But once that supply is cut off and the Altana in their body runs out,
they go back to being just a normal human.
Just like her,
when she died after leaving her hometown.
The same way each human being has different blood running through their veins,
the Altana of each planet is unique.
A mutant can only live on the Altana from their home planet.
And if their body receives a strong dost of Altana they're not compatible with,
they'll become unable to maintain their immortality.
The reason I scrounged up all of Kouan's crystals
was to extract the Altana of Kouka's home planet
so I could give it to her to prolong her life every little bit I could.

Page 7:
Umi: So if we do the opposite of that process,
purposefully throwing different planet's Altana at Utsuro,
Both he, and these things that came from him,
can be ended.
I couldn't save Kouka,
but if I hadn't met her,
I don't think I ever would have realized this.
So this time, I'm going to save what I set out to save.
With the hope she gave us,
we'll save this planet she loved.
Now get a good look
SFX: ZAZAA
Umi: at the power of the Altana hidden in the crystals!!

Page 8:
Umi: After I sprinkled it on my head,
look how bushy it got!!
SFX: FASA
Umi: What're you doing, you guys?! That hurt! Look, I have a full head of hair!
Kagura: Do not give us that!! We thought you were about to whip out some kind of crazy weapon! What the hell have you been using the crystals for?!!
Umi: I'm just showing off to the enemy. You aren't the only ones that are immortal. So are my roots!
Someone: WAit, so Altana can do stuff like that, too? What do you mean you sprinkled it? Does it come in seaweed flake form?
SFX: BUCHIN
Kamui: Oh, let me see, too!
Immortal? This looks like your same wig as usual!
Handwritten AAHHHHH
Umi: If you pull that hard any hair will turn into a wig!! Look how you've exposed me, you shitty brat!!

Page 9:
Someone: Is this really the time for that?! The enemy is...
SfX: WAAA
Umi: Sheesh.
It's like in sentai shows where the enemy just stands around, unable to read the situation, and waits for the robots to combine.
Someone: Except on our side we've got a wig combining with a baldy!
Umi: Then we won't read the situation either.
Playtime is over.
Gin: !!
SFX: JAKI
Umi: Now let me show you the power of a weapon
made from Altana!
SFX: BUUU
Umi: Ready~~~~
fiiiiiiiire!
SFX: PUSHU
Umi: Buy me just 3 seconds!
I'll grow back soon!!
SFX: PUSHU PUSHU

Page 10:
Guys: We ain't waitin'.
SFX: DOH
Gin: HEEEY! What the hell, man?!!
You're using up our last ray of hope for a bunch 'a garbage!
Nobume: If that's our last trump card then boy are we screwed!
We'll be left with are the roots of our hair.
Kagura: Destroy those, too!!
SOmeone: No matter how many times we knock these guys down they keep getting back up!
I can't... keep this up any longer.
At this rate we won't be able to break through the encirclement!
We won't... make it to Sadaharu.
SFX: BUCHHI BUCHHI (TEAR TEAR)

Page 11:
SFX: DON
SFX: GOOAAA

Page 12:
SFX: GO GO GO GO GO GO
Someone: Something came oooout!!
Umi: Didn't I say so?
The old man and the cannon combined. Read the situation.
SFX: SHUUUU
Someone: Something that can extract Altana from the crystals, turn it into energy, and release it in one blase. An Altana weapon
called a 'Crystal Dragon Gate'.
It's a byproduct that was created during the course of developing the Hair-Regrowing Gun.
Guy: How the hell was the hair gun not the extra thing?!

Page 13:
Someone: The Altana stored in here
is an original blend made of the Altana from a bunch of different places.
There's nothing in this universe that's compatible with it.
No matter what sort of immortal they are,
it'll destroy them along with the Altana in their body.
On top of that, the Altana particles scattered by the cannon
will invade the bodies of nearby immortals that were spared destruction,
SFX: DON
Someone: And they
will not get up again.

Page 14:
Umi: And the last ones standing
will be us, the indomitable ones.
SFX: GUSHA
Kagu: You baldyyyy!!
Guys: If you had something like that, then use it right away!! What was whole thing about regrowing hair?!! You just wanted to show off, didn't you?!!
Umi: Hold on, hold on!! I wasn't tryin' ta do that!!
SFX: GASU GOSU
Someone: O~~~H, you weren~~t? Well I guess if you weren't trying to do tha~~~t, then it's okay if the Earth is destroyed th~~~n!
SFX: GASU GOSU
Umi: It takes time for the Crystal Dragon Gun to fire. You can't waste any shots.
Gin: What?! Well do you have any other of those Altana weapons then?!
Umi: Wwll yes, I do, though they're limited in number... If we don't save them for Utsuro, we'll...
SFX: DOOON
Kamui: Woah! These little exploding balls are incredible!
They make those immortals look like a pile of trash!
Someone: You bastaaaard!! When the hell did you get into my weapons and start wasting them?!
SFX: DOOON GOOAA

Page 15: [15 and 16 are backwards in the raw]
Kamui: These seems way more useful than hair-growth formula.
And if we don't use them here, where're we gonna use them?
With weapons like this, I could subjugate all those corpses on my own.
So go!
There's no time to spare, right?
I'm sick of protecting you.
And I sure don't need to be bothered by a dog on top of that.
Shin: Kamui-san.
Umi: ..........
Certainly,
a man can't stand always being watched over by a little girl.
Kamui: Is that me you're-
Umi: Not you.
I'm talking about me.

Page 16:
Umi: But there's no need to worry now.
Even if you're not here,
this family
is gonna be fine.
So go.
...This time
do it for the family you found
and for yourself.

Page 17:
SFX: PASHIH
Umi: Take it.
It's forged from filled with the crystals.
Rather than a gun or a cannon,
you Samurai
prefer those, right?
Gin: ........
Samurai.
in the old days, used two swords.
A katana and a wakizashi. Having two blades in your belt meant you were a fully fledged warrior.
SFX: KACHIN
Gin: But at some point, we threw away that pride,
lost the belief that we should protect others,
and all that was left was the one weapon to protect ourselves.
The reason I was able to somehow or other make it all the way here
unsteadily wondering and swinging around a piece of wood in that darkness was

Page 18:
Gin: because here,
I have two swords.
And while while their edges aren't too share, they sure as hell won't break.
Thanks
for sticking around with such a dull blade.
As long as these guys are at my hip,
this samurai won't break either.
I promise I'll come back
with both swords.

Page 19:
Umi: ...Wait, hold on.
Was what he just said... like a "Could I have your daughter's hand in marriage" kind of statement? No, couldn't be, right?
Kamui: You saying that now?
I was sure you were prepared for that for a while now.
Umi: Don't be an idiot. Kouka hated low-energy guys like that.
Kamui: Oh I see. So is that why she chose a high-hairline guy?
It really is better to have sons.
Daughters eventually get carried off, but sons don't leave their dads alone.
Umi: You can say that again.
Always going after your life, tearing off your arms, and ripping out your hair...
Dad sure is happy
he's got such a pleasant family!!
Insert: They'll never come apart again---!!
Bottom: Gintama
Lesson 653
/ End