Gintama 674

[Gintama 674 Translation by Kewl0210]
Page 1:
Insert: ☆The newest, Jump Comics Volume 72 now on sale with great fanfare!!
☆The TV Anime, 'The Silver Soul Arc' is airing every Sunday at 1:35 AM on Tokyo TV an affiliates!!
Right Insert: 'Gintama'
Middle Insert: What have these black-marketeers presented...?!
Shin: M-Mutsu-san.
What...
SFX: SHUU UU
Shin: What is this?!!
Mutsu: It's the item I was asked for.
I don't care if you're going to use it to assassinate the Prime Minister or to start a war or whatever,
but as far as I my knowledge extends, this is the ultimate weapon.

Page 2:
Kagura: A~~ I slept well, yes?
Shin: I couldn't be.
Someone: Member of the strongest fighting clan in the universe,
daughter of the universe's number 1 alien hunter,
and also little sister of the greatest pirate brat in the universe.
Shin: IT COULDN'T BEEEE!!
Kagura: He~~~~H.

Page 3:
Kagura: This is
Mommy's other hometown, yes?
Mutsu: Kagura
's daughter, Kanna.

Page 4:
SFX: GAKAH
Shin: The Final Fantasy
still isn't overrrr??!
Insert: Meanwhile, Gintoki...
Title: Lesson 674
2 Years For a Boy is 10 Years For a Man
Author: Sorachi Hideaki

Page 5:
Hiji: So what're you saying he did?
Back then, Takasugi
released the Tendoushuu that had been captured inside the Amenotori Ship.
Inside them is Utsuro's blood.
That immortal blood that preserves life.
Somehow, he took possession of those Tendoushuu,
and started committing acts of terrorism all over, targeting different places' Altana.
I can't say all that with absolute certainty,
but it is true he survived.

Page 6:
Gin: That guy,
dyed his hands in blood in order to turn the world the Tendoushuu... the world Utsuro made, upside down.
That's probably why he lent us his strength in the war 2 years ago.
Just what went on with him that he'd do something like lift up the Tendoushuu and commit acts of terror?
But
he's not the type to be picky when it come to the means of achieving his goals.
Still,
if he has something he wants to get,
then just like how you abandoned Edo and the Yorozuya
to go off on a journey,
he may be willing to turn himself upside down to get it.

Page 7:
Gin: ...I didn't do anything big like that.
Hiji: Are you saying there's no point in you talking, so you're not going to?
Guy: If you will not say anything, then we will be forced to constrain you as a material witness.
Is that what you would prefer?
Gin: If I can lodge here for free, you'd be helping me out.
Guy: Hijikata-san, it would seem that any further questioning would be meaningless.
Hiji: Yeah.
But before that, there's one thing I wanna ask.
Who are you?
You just jumped into the conversation all of a sudden... who are you?
Gin: Huh? You don't know who this is?
Uh, I thought I might've skipped a week or something when this guy I've never seem before just showed up and started doing stuff like it was perfectly normal.
Robocop: Actually I was in last week's chapter, too.
I'm a bit-part mob character whom the assistants drew all of besides my face. Please pay me no mind.
Gin: Uh, you don't look like a mob character. Wait, you wouldn't happen to be Roboco-
Guy: No, I am Mobcop.
Gin: Uh, what's a Mobcop?

Page 8:
Mob: Um, to be honest, I am Metal Policeman Number 1, introduced by the new government. And today's actually my first day on the job.
Handwritten: Sorry for the late introduction.
Gin: Hold on right there. You stand out waaay too much to be a mob character. And could you be quiet for a bit? You're muddling the conversation.
Mob: Ah, sorry. I guess I got a little over-zealous for my first day of work.
Hiji: Yorozuya, whether you talk or not is up to you,
SFX: GOHON
Hiji: But depending on what he does, things that previously was preventable may not be preventable anymore.
You can't ignore the possibility that he could cause damage to Edo.
Are you
okay with that?
SFX: UIIIN
Hiji: Is that
all Edo means to you now?
SFX: HNGH
Hiji: Or is it
you still
SFX: HUGOOOO
Hiji: believe in hi-
SFX: BURI BURI BURI BUSHAA

Page 9:
Hiji: YOU'RE DISTRACTING US DAMMIIIIT!!
What the hell are you dripping on the ground there anyhoooow?!!
SFX: GOH
Mob: You just told me to prepare you some cutlet bowls earlier, didn't you? I was just making them.
Guys: Uh, where are you summoning that cutlet up from?!! Can robocops do stuff like that?!!
SFX: MORIMORI (LEAK LEAK)
Mob: Sorry, I'll release the mayonnaise right away.
Guys: WE DON'T WANT IIIIIT!! And wait, is over half of your body taken up by cooking implements?!!
SFX: BUCHU BUCHU
Guys: You're standing out way too much, dammit!! With your face over there, we can't concentrate on our conversation!! If you're mob character, read the room a little bit!!
Mob: Then perhaps you should leave the questioning to me?
Hiji: HUH?!
Mob: I am equipped with all sorts of knowhow cultivated by the police forces. I can get a man like this to crack easily.
Someone: Hey, hey, what, all of a sudden you're a big shot?
Mob: All right, you bastard!! I know you've been insistent here...
But you must still have a mother here in your home country, right?!!
Hiji: What?! How cliche can you get!! Do you think that sorta appeal to human emotion is gonna make a bad-natured guy like this crack?!
Mob: Do you not care about making your mother sad?
If I use this weapon installed in my body, I will turn your mother as well as everything within a 3 kilometer radius of her into scorched earth.
Gin: Wait so now you're using threats?!
Sorry, but I don't even know if I've got a mom.
What about you? If that metallic body came from a mother's body,
then she can't be too happy.

Page 10:
Mob: Th-That's sheer nonsense...!!
I'm a mob cop mainly drawn by the assistants, there's no one that would be sad because of...
----me, is there?
---I have no memories of what happened before I was remodeled.
Someone: HEEEEY!! Why is this mob character showing up in a flashback?!!
Mob: But from what I was told, I served as a policeman previously as well. I sacrificed myself for the country, was left in critical condition as the result of an accident. And then I was offered up as a subject for becoming a Mob Cop.
Guys: Enough about you already!! Hurry up and get on with the questioning, dammit!!
Mob: Was no one sad back then?
Did no one try to stop it?
Guys: Nobody cares in the first place!! Quit the flashback!!
Mob: No, the fact that even now, not a single person has been looking for me
is a better answer than anything.
It's not...
that I don't remember anything.
SFX: DRIP DRIP
Mob: Everyone forgot me!!
In order to avoid facing that fact, I forgot everything!!
Someone: Uh, why are you spilling your guts here?
Can someone no one feels sad for,
shed so many tears?

Page 11:
Gin: Even if you've lost your memories, your body still remembers them.
It remembers that you once had someone precious enough to you to shed tears.
Hiji: Heeey! What's with the off-the-cuff, student-discount teacher act giving this nice-sounding lecture?!! Cut it out!!
Gin: Your comrades just didn't recognize you with your transformed appearance.
If you remember everything and make your name known, I'm sure they'll come running.
Mob: R-Really?
I... haven't been forgotten about?
Hiji: Hey, now who's doing the questioning?!!
Gin: That's right. Now have no fear and try to remember. Who... are you? What connection... do you have... with Takasugi? Some kind of... evil plan?
Hiji: Hey! Don't try to fabricate memories to try to pin your crime on somebody else!!
SFX: BISHIII GAA
Mob: Aah! I think I'm remembering something!! I'm almost there! Almost there!
Hiji: Yeah, we don't care!! Just how many pages are we use up for this mob character?!
SFX: BISHII BIKIII
Mob: A notebook!! Does anyone have a notebook?!
Gin: Notebook?
Mob: It's the one clue to who I was before I was remodeled. There should still be photos in my police notebook... I think if I looked at it now, I would remember!
SFX: Rstle rstle sqrm sqrm
Mob: AAAAAAHHH
SFX: SPRK SPRK SPRK
SFX: DO SAH
Guys: ..........

Page 12:
Guys: ...Ah,
we forgot.
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDIIING?!!
SFX: GAOON
Mob: I remembered, everything!!
SFX: GO GO GO GO

Page 13:
Yama: Becuase you guys forgot all about me, my body got handed around all over the place and at the end of it
I got turned into this awesome thiiing!!
SFX: DO DO DO DO DO
Yama: In the name of healing my body, they kept my original body for two years in my poop-stained briefs.
Hiji: Wait! Wait! Wait! We didn't forget, right?!!
Did we seriously forget about him because of how busy we were with all that happened after that?!
Nah, we were just, like, putting it off for a while!
SFX: DOKAAAA GOAAA
Yama: You remember me, don't you?
Guys: We remember, we remember!
Uh, we're really glad you're okay, most of all!
Uh... Um... Er...
Shibasaki-kun.
Yama: You did forget me, didn't yooou!! ["did" in italics]
SFX: DOGAAA
Hiji: GUO
Somebodyyyy, my Mobcop's gone on a rampage!! Stop hiiiim!!
SFX: DOSHAAA
Hiji: !!
Ah, you bastaaaard!!

Page 14:
Somebody: Hold it right there!
Hey, somebody stop that guy!!
Gin: Heh.
Looks like you guys are the same as always, too.
Those guys,
the Yorozuya, have they been doing okay?
Hiji: ..........
Go see for yourself.
Handwritten: Follow hiiiim!
SFX: PIIIIIII
Hiji: Hmph.

Page 15:
Hiji: That goddamn idiot.
SFX: ZAAA
Mutsu: We've safely delivered the goods.
What you use them for now are up to ya'll,
but keep in mind you're leasing that item, it has an owner.
If you damage it, there'll be additional charges.
Tama: Shinpachi-sama?
Shinpachi-sama?

Page 16:
Kanna: Heeey, what are you doing there?
Handwritten: Shinpachi-samaa
Kanna: I am excited to go see Edo! It is okay if I go on ahead, yes?
Tama: Sorry. It seems that Shinpachi-sama was put into an odd state when he saw you, Kanna-sama.
Kanna: Heeey, Shinpachi-sama!
Kanna: That probably will not work.
He dropped these before, eys?
I heard from Mommy once
that on Earth there are creatures whose main body are these.
Shin: Uh, wait, who is Mommyyyyyy?!!
Kanna: See?

Page 17:
Shin: Th... That was close. I think my heart and my straight-man shtick had stopped for 3 minutes.
Wh-What do you mean you're Kagura-chan's... daughter?
Th-That can't be right! The Final Fantasy ain't foolin' me anymore!!
SFX: ZEEE HYUUU ZEE BYUU
Kanna: You are Mommy's underling, Patssan, yes?
Shin: Wh-Who're you calling underling, dammit?!
Kanna: I heard from her that on Earth there are lots of inferior creatures unlike anything I have seen before.
Shin: Did she do nothing but badmouth me?!
Kanna: I wanted to see Mommy's other hometown,
so I looked for a job that would allow me to come here.
But never did I think that you would be involved with that job, Pattsan!
Shin: Th-Th-That's enough!!
There's no way in hell you're Kagura-chan's child! Who the hell are you?!!
It's only been 2 years since I parted ways with Kagura! There's no way she could have a child your age!
First off, Kagura-chan was 14 years old then! So she's only 16 years old now! Sh-She wouldn't do something so promiscuous!
Jump and this virgin will not accept iiiiit!!
Kanna: Promiscuous? What is that? Is having children promiscuous? What about it is promiscuous?
Shin: No... It's, well... Stop looking at me with those marble-like eyes!
O-Okay, then let me ask you this. The father. Who's your father? There's no way anybody would do with Kagura-chan...

Page 18:
Kanna: A banana.
Shin: ........
No, that's not what I meant...
Uh... who's banana?
Kanna: She told me she ate too many bananas so she vomited, and I came out.
Shin: Uh, wait, so you were born like Evil King Piccolo waaaaas?!
Is that just how the Yato clan gives birth?! Is that just how it's always worked?!
Kanna: No, she said someone taught it to her while she was going around to different planets all over the universe. Apparently it is not so much a child as it is a fission.
Shin: That's not the kinda technique you teach a heroin!! And I think I recognize those feelers!!
SFX: GOBURORORO
Shin: Then you...
.........
Is Kagura-chan...
doing well?
What about Sadaharu...?

Page 19:
Okita: Whyyy?
We told you to prepare the weapon for killing the Prime Minister,
but you have the wrong weapon?
Though
this one seems much more interesting.
Insert: The devil's smile...!!
Bottom: Gintama
...Lesson 674
/ End
Next issue, the series will be on hiatus so the author can do research.