Gintama 685

Just spent six hours on a thing no one will probably reaaaaad.



Also I have a plurk now, so feel free to friend me there and stuff.

GINTAMA
Binbokusai: Weeeell, my son and Grandson are both fine people now...
So there's not much more I need to do for them.
(Side text- A certain elderly man speaks...)
Binbokusai: So now I'm living as I please, without a care in the world.
I thought to myself “Now to do the things I hadn't been able to.”
{So you're saying you've always wanted to....rifle through the neighborhood's trash and be a general nuisance?}
Binbokusai: Everyone says that....
Well, you might consider it trash, but I certainly don't.
This is still usable...
And one can still eat these.
For pete's sake! When did people become so extravagant?
{So is this your attempt to send a message to modern society in regards to being wasteful?}
Binbokusai: Well, it's nothing that major, no....
But have a look at this, Mr. Director.

002
Binbokusai: Here's some trash I found today.
It's true that this maniquin's fashion sense does belong in the garbage, but...
Give it a fashion upgrade...
(Jacket: Third Generation.)
Binbokusai: With a fashionable upgrade....
(Sfx- Dogoooohhh thoooom)
Binbokusai: And voila, it's perfect for swatting roaches.
{Was there a point to the third generation thing?}
Binbokusai: Yes? It wouldn't work if it were merely the second generation or the fourth, it absolutely has to be the third.
And there's more trash over here too.
Just scribble
This on here...
(Handwritten- YOUTUBER.)
Binbokusai: And you can use it to swat flies.
{Um, like we were saying, is there a point to the Youtuber thing?}
Binbokusai: I don't think they're necessary either, honesty.
(Sfx- Dogooohh thoooom)

003
Binbokusai: And it's like this that things once thrown away as trash...
When used in different ways have new uses and thus are once again valuable.
I'd really like it if people would come to this point of view.
Like this for example.
Just how many abandoned mannequins are in the garbage, huh?
(Sfx- Zubooohhh plooop)
Binbokusai: How do you think we could find a new use for this thing?
{We could write “director” on it and use it as a sandbag to practice tackling on?}
Binbokusai: Well...that's on the right track.
The correct answer is...
(On coat: Doumoto Tsuyo-)
Binbokusai: That's what we write on this.

004
Binbokusai: Ngah.
(Sfx- Dogooohhh thooom)
Binbokusai: GNOH! The trash is collapsing!!
{Uh, you just called it trash yourself...}
(Sfx- Goto goro goro claaaatter)
Binbokusai: What the hell?!
The piles of trash have combined on me...?!
(Sfx- Gosu gassh gossh thok thok wham)
{These pieces of trash...}
(Handwritten- I'm alive, aliiiiive!!)
{Looked to us to be very much alive.}
{Maybe it is as this elderly man said...}
{They still do have a use after all.}
{Desposing trash...}
{As trash...}
{Mon-fiction//The man living among trash.//END.}

005
(Top text- The newest volume of the manga #73 and the novel “Ginpachi-sensei” newest volume are out in stores everywhere!)
GINTAMA
Lesson 685: Kuwah
SORACHI HIDEAKI
Gintoki: Finally....
Finally managed to escape from mannequin hell....
Takasugi...
Guess you arent completely useless after all.
But I wasn't expecting you to be a mannequin too.
Is that how you've been avoiding the Bakufu this entire time?
It's actually pretty impressive that you can look so arrogant and act like you're going to destroy the world while doing shit like that.
Hey, Takasugi, talk to me her--
(Sfx- Zubooohh blooh)

006
Gintoki: So...Takasugi when did you start....
Oh...Okay, now I get why you're so bent on destroying the world.
{THAT'S CLEARLY NOT HIM.}
Gintoki: Hey um...weird request I know, but could you say your catchphrase for me?
Dude: I simply want to destroy this rotten world.
Gintoki: Louder! Put some backbone into it! Loud and clear!
Dude: I simply want to destroy this rotten world.
Gintoki: LOUDER, and say it in your own words!!
Dude: Chinese.
(TN- I'm assuming he's saying the same thing but in, well, Chinese. Actually the whole time this guy has had a thick accent, but it's hard to convey it in a translation.)
Gintoki: Okay, that's good, I getcha.
Takasugi, you've been brushing up on foreign languages at that place by the train station haven't you?
{NOOOO, HE'S A TOTALLY DIFFERENT GUY??}
Guy: I was just doing my job when a man with one eye threatened me...
He switched our outfits and then said I should destroy the world.
{Ah, that makes sense. That mannequin was another guy the whole time.}
{So he set out some bait so he could get away without being seen.}
{Honestly that would have been ridiculous for Takasugi.}
Gintoki: Then where's the real Takasugi?
Dude: He is probably doing doing my job for me.
Child: Mom can I have a balloon from that bear?
{IN THE END HE'S STILL DOING SOMETHING STUPID?!}
Gintoki: I see, a stuffed bear huh? That works I suppose.
Don't worry about destroying the world anymore, bro.
Just hand me that wig and get moving.

007
Gintoki: Awwrighty. For now I'll just use this thing.
He's a terrorist, but better that than Hentai Mask.
I don't want to stand out and for folks to find out I'm in Edo.
Even if there are wanted posters plastered countrywide...
Putting a wig on my head won't be enough to...
(Sfx- Hiiiin fwhoooom)
(Sfx- Dododododdo ththothothooom)
{I start my new life as Nisesugi Shinsuke with one foot forward...}
{And this is what happennnnns!?}

008
{Just how much do people hate this guy?!}
{If this is how it's gonna be, maybe I should go find me a bear suit too!}
???: Just try moving an inch from there...
Takasugi Shinsuke.
I'll poke you with more holes than a hornet's nest.
{Sacchan?!}
Ayame: If you come without a fuss, I'll leave you alive.
Because you are not my actual target.

009
Gintoki: M—miss, I think you might have the wrong person.
Takasugi? You mean the wanted criminal who has but one eye?
Take a good look. As you can see I have two...
(Sfx- Dooohh Thok)
Ayame: Unfortunately I have no interest in the amount of eyes you have...
If you're going to waste my time with pointless words...
Then I'll crush both of your eyes.
Gintoki: Ahem, I—I see.
I'm impressed you were able to see through my fake eye from that distance.
That's right, I am the world destroying and very familiar to all...
Sekakowa Tasuasugi....and what of it?
(Sfx- Kuwaaah dooom)
{So you're just going to lean into the whole Nisesugi angle?!}
Ayame: I had known from the moment you entered Edo....
That you were traveling with him.
(Sfx- Zauuuh wffft)
Ayame: Where is...
Sakata Gintoki?

010
Gintoki: Surely you jest. Me with him?!
He has left Edo in his wake long ago and won't be back.
After all, he never had any roots in this town from the start.
(Sfx- Kuwaaah dooooom)
Ayame: Maybe I didn't make myself clear. Playing the fool will get you nowhere.
Gintoki: Look into my eye.
Do I look like someone who's playing the fool?
{From my point of view? I see nothing but idiocy radiating from you. More like, you're sure milking that “Kuwah” thing for all it's worth, Nisesugi.}
(Sfx- Kuwaaaah doooom)
Gintoki: We are like minded in our distaste for jokes or petty squabbles.
I do not tell lies.
And Indian people....don't lie either.
(Sfx- Kuwaaah dooooom)
{Um...is that really where you use a “kuwah” in this situation? There's milking it, and then there's being overly reliant, Nisesugi!}
(TN- This --”Indian people don't lie” is the catchphrase of the Indian chef “G.M. Nair”.
Gintoki: So now I'm going...
I've got to kuwash the world underfoot.
{“Kuwash”? You mean Quash? What's “Kuwash?”}
Dude: Excuse me buddy, can you point me in the direction of a bathroom?
(Sfx- Kuwaaah doooom)
(Handwritten- And where the hell did this bastard come from?)
{Pretty sure the only quashing you're gonna do here is this guy's bladder, Nisesugi.}
Sacchan: Hold it right there.
Gintoki: My aren't we persistent.

011
Gintoki: You should forget about him.
Waiting for him is...
A waste of time.
Ayame: I see.
Then I suppose it's a waste of time telling you of the antidote for the toxin spreading through your body right now...maybe I should forget about that too?
Hows that?
Ayame: Leave as you are now and before you can destroy the world, you will be destroyed.
And then human waste will ooze...
from every hole on your body.
(Sfx- Kuwaaaah doooom)
{Now there's the real deal!!}
{That's how a 'kuwah' is supposed to be used!}

012
Gintoki: Yo...
Uh, actually now that I think of it, there was a white haired dude over this way...
(Sfx- Kuwaahhh doooom)
{That was the best use of 'kuwah' I've seen up until this point!}
Ayame: Lead the way.
I can follow the trail of human excrement you leave in your wake, like Hansel and Gretel.
(Sfx- Kuwaaaah doooom)
{But in comparison, her Kuwah's are as genuine as they come!}
Ayame: Until I meet with Sakata Gintoki...
You will not get this antidote.
So I'd advise you stop the struggling.
Gintoki: Heh, you're quite a lady to need an escort.
But this dark beast won't be tamed. Did you bring a plastic bag and water?
Ayame: But of course. Well mannered people clean up after their pets if they soil the ground.
{Is he a Chihuahua?! A Chihuahua of darkness?!}
(Sfx- Yoroh wobble)
{He's walking on all fours, dammit!}
{What were you even trying to do, Chihuahua?!}
Gintoki: I believe he's in that convenience joint.
(Sfx- Chiwaah dink)
{What's 'chiwah' mean here? You've reached your limit of chihuahua-ness haven't you?!}
Gintoki: Hm?
I don't see him....
I'll try giving the bathroom a check...
(Sfx- Gararaaahhh clatter)
{Wait, he wouldn't....!}

013
(Sign- We appreciate you keeping our bathrooms clean)
Gou: Occupied.
Gintoki: Ah, my bad.
M—Maybe it was a different convenience store.
Perhaps this one?
(Sfx- Garaaann shffft)
Dude: Occupied.
(Sfx- Garaahhh ssht)
Kaoru: Occupied~
(Sfx- Buraatshhh Sffft)
Dude: Blup blup (Occupied.)
(Sfx- Gacha gacha gacha gacha gacha click click click click)
Everyone: Occupied~
(Sfx- Doshaaaahh dddshhhh)
Ayame: Sorry to say...
But all of your escape routes are gone.
Gintoki: Did you seriously....
Put shinobi in every bathroom in Edo?
How did you....pull that off?

014
Ayame: He wasn't the only one who just...
Left without a word.
Where are you going?
Isn't your role now to...
Protect the princess who inherited the will of the shogun?
Hattori: Now that things are peaceful, I'm the most dangerous dude to be around the princess.
In a world without enemies, picking fights with your allies and...
stirring up trouble is human nature.
If I stay here, the little fights will never cease.
And I'd really rather not kill the folks I fought back then.

015
Hattori: Moreover even if I'm gone...
You're still here Sarutobi.
Even if we—this world is in a time of peace...
You'll be the one to guide the blade that is the Oniwabanshuu Shinobi.
Ayame: ….What's with you. Is that flattery?
In the end you're just asking someone else to do what you don't want to, right?
Hattori: Probably.
(Sfx- Zaatsu zaatsh ddt ddt)
Ayame: Say, Zensou...
Are all of you men only capable of saying...
“wait for me” in times like this?
Hattori: Sarutobi...
Are you the type to sit quietly and wait...
Just because you're asked to?
Ayame: ...Probably not.
So then...
I would like all of your assistance.
Perhaps I am not as powerful as Zenzou...
But if we come together we can accomplish much.
That's why...

016
Ayame: In the name of ninja master Sarutobi Ayame....
I order you to find Sakata Gintoki so that we may be married!
{Then is she just using the ninja forces as her personal assistants?!}
Ayame: I can manipulate the Ninja of Edo as if they're my own body.
And each and every one of those ninjas is searching for Sakata Gintoki.
I don't know what you're plotting...
But I won't allow Sakata Gintoki to fall in league with the likes of you.
His home is here.
And if he won't come back on his own then we'll drag him back.
It's not as if he asked me to wait for him in the first place.
(Sfx- Geshiihh ddshhh)
Gintoki: Heh....
I get it.

017
Gintoki: I admit defeat.
You really want to see him that badly huh.
{That serene expression.}
Gintoki: Then...
I will make it so you guys can meet.
{He gave up...?!}
Gintoki: I'm pretty sure I saw him head into the underwear section of that store.
{Wait, is he trying to get a change of undies?}
{Di—did he let it all go? Is that a smile of complete acknowledgment?}
Gintoki: Let's go.
{Dude, why are you walking so weirdly?}
(Sfx- Pyoko pyoko pyoko boing boing boing)
{He lowered his sash?! Wait, is he trying to keep something from coming out there?!}
Ayame: And what of the poison?
Gintoki: As if something like that would work on, I, Takasugi.
I detoxed myself of that poison through my anus.
{And you know what we call that? A bowel movement!!}

018
Ayame: I don't see him at all.
Are you trying to fool me again...?
Gintoki: Hey Pig bitch! (Normal voice).
Ayame: Wait, that voice was Gin-san's....
Over here?!
(Sfx- Datsuhh dash)
(Sfx- Pyoko pyoko pyoko pyoko boing boing boing boing)
{Why are you moving so slowly?! This is your chance!!}
Gintoki: Get me a change of clothes, and underwear as fast as you can. Don't worry about the change.
{He really did let it all out!!}
{He talked like a big spender but all he can afford is underwear!!}
(Sfx- Shaaah ssshft)
(Sfx- Gata clatter)
Ayame: Where did he go!?
(Sfx- Bataaa clatter)
(Sfx-shaaahn claaang)
{The chain got stuck on a mannequin!!}
Ayame: Hm?
He's there?!
I found you!!
(Sfx- bahh fwap)

019
{AND HE'S BACK AT THE BEGINNING?!}
Ayame: Huh?
What are you doing here?
Tsukky.
Tsukuyo: I was...
Just here wit' Kyuubee doing some shoppin...
That chain looks odd...
Kyuubee: Tae-chan, why do I have to take off my underwear too?
Tae: Well, the Kimono is typically something you wear with nothing underneath...
Kyuubee: But an arranged marriage interview with no underwear is a bit...
Tsukuyo-dono...
I can't seem to locate my underwear, might you have see--
(Sfx- Kuwaaaah)
(Next issue- Gintoki's death?!)
GINTAMA LESSON 685................END.