Gintama 685

[Gintama 685 Translation by Kewl0210]
Page 1:
Bin: Whew, both my son and grandson have grown up to be such fine people.
There is no longer anything needed for me to do, I'd say.
Insert: A certain old man speaks...
Title: 'Gintama'
Bin: So now I'm living a quiet life, doing what I like, free from worldly care.
I figured I'd do what I've always wanted to do, but never could.
Someone: What you've always wanted to do is rummaging through the trash, causing complaints to be raised all over the neighborhood?
Bin: Everyone says that.
Though what you call trash, I never once have considered trash.
This is still usable.
And this is still edible, as well.
People these days. When did they get this extravagant?
Guys: What you've always wanted to do is send a wake-up call to modern people that let things go to waste?
Bin: I didn't mean to say anything so grandiose.
But look at this, Director-san.

Page 2:
Bin: This is some trash I just picked up today.
While it's certainly true that in terms of fashion sense, this mannequin is trash,
if you put fashionable clothing on it, then...
Jacket: Third Generation
T/N: A reference to the Third Generation J Soul Brothers boy band.
SFX: DOGOO
Bin: It makes for a perfectly good cockroach-swatter.
Someone: Did you really need the Third-Generation thing?
Bin: I dud! Second Generation or Fourth Generation wouldn't work. It has to be Third Generation.
Look, there's garbage over here, too.
I wrote...
this on it.
Text: YOU
Tuber
Bin: And so it becomes a quick replacement for a fly-swatter.
Director: Um, is the YOU Tuber part really necessary?
Bin: I don't think it's necessary either, actually.
SFX: DOGOO

Page 3:
Bin: By doing things like this, even things that were once thrown away as trash,
when used in different combinations, can be found to have new uses and find new value.
I want everyone to have that kind of different point of view.
Take this for example.
Honestly, how many of these mannequins are out there?
SFX: ZUBOO
Guys: .........!!!
How do you think this can be given a new purpose?
Guy: Let's write 'Director' on it and make it a sandbag for practicing tackles on.
Bin: Hm, well, you're on the right track.
The correct answer is...
Text: Doumoto Yoshi
Bin: is what we write, and then it works.
SFX: GURA

Page 4:
Bin: GUGEFF
SFX: DOGOOO
Someone: UOH! The trash pile is collapsing!
Someone: Uh, so it's okay to call trash now?!
SFX: DO DOO GA GAU
Guys: !!
SFX: GORO GORO GORO (ROLL)
Someone: Wh-What is this?!!
The pieces of trash have combined to...
SFX: GAS GAS GOS
Someone: These pieces of garbage
Handwritten: I'm ali~ve, I'm ali~ve!
Someone: looked even to us reporters that they were alive.
Perhaps it's just as the old man said,
Handwritten: That
Someone: they do still have a purpose.
That reality is here.
T/N: The handwritten text is lyrics of a pop song from Atari Kousuke.
Narr: Disposing of garbage
as garbage.
Handwritten: Living is saṃsāra~
Middle Text: Mon-Fiction
The Man that Lives With Trash
The End

Page 5:
Top Insert: ☆The newest, Jump Comics Volume 73 & the novel 'Ginpachi-sensei' are now on sale!
Title: Lesson 685
KUWAH
Author: Sorachi Hideaki
Insert: Escape...!!
Someone: Finally,
we made it out of that mannequin hell.
Takasugi,
I guess you're not totally useless after all.
But man, I sure didn't expect you to become a mannequin, too.
Is that the kind of thing you've been doing to get around the Bakufu all this time?
I'm pretty impressed you can still keep up that self-satisfied face and say you're gonna destroy the world or whatever.
Hey, say something, Takasu-
SFX: ZUBOO

Page 6:
Gin: Hey, Takasugi, since when have you...
I see. So that's why you wanna destroy the world...
Hiji: That's clearly the wrong guy!!
Gin: Wait, hold on. Could you... maybe say your signature phrase real quick?
Guy: I simply destroy this rotten world.
Gin: C'mon, louder! And more clearly!
Guy: I simply destroy this rotten world.
Gin: LOUDEEEER! And in your own words!
Guy: Wǒ zhǐshì dǎpò zhège fǔlàn de shìjiè.
T/N: He says the same line in Chinese here.
Gin: Okay, okay, I get it.
Takasugi, you've been taking a foreign language study at that place near the train station, huh?
Hiji: No, it's a different guyyyy!!
Guy: I was just doing my job and I was threatened by a man with one eye.
He traded outfits with me and told me to destroy the world.
Hiji: I see. So that mannequin was already someone else.
So he laid out some bait so he could slip away unnoticed.
Well, I guess that would've been a bit dumb for Takasugi.
Gin: Uh, then where's the real Takasugi?
Guy: He is probably doing my job in my plaaace.
Handwritten: Mom, can I have one of that bear's balloons?
Hiji: He's using a dumb tactic anyhoooow!!
Gin: I see. A cartoon-character costume huh? I guess that's one idea.
Okay, well, you don't need to destroy the world anymore.
Just leave that wig and go.

Page 7:
Gin: Okay, for the time being, I'll disguise myself with this.
He may be a terrorist, but he'll stand out less than Pervert Mask.
That's better than just letting it get out that I'm in Edo.
No matter how many wanted posters his face is on all over the country,
I'm sure that just sticking a wig on my head won't...
SFX: HIIIN
SFX: DO DO DO DO
Gin: Hold on, I take one step as Nisesugi Shinsuke
and this happeeeeens?!!
T/N: "Nise" means "fake" or "false".

Page 8:
Gin: Just how hated is that guy?!
Maybe I should grab a cartoon-character costume, too!
Sacchan: Just try and take a step from where you're standing,
Takasugi Shinsuke.
You'll end up with more holes in you than a bee's nest.
Gin: Sacchan!!
Sa: If you come quietly, then perhaps I'll spare your life.
Because you are not my true goal.

Page 9:
Gin: Y... Young lady, I think you've mistaken me for someone else.
Takasugi, isn't that the wanted criminal with one eye?
Please look closely. As you can see, I have two-
SFX: DOH
Sa: Sorry, but I have no interest in what number of eyes you have.
If you're going to try to buy time with absurd excuses,
I'll destroy both of your eyes.
Gin: GOHOH! I-I see.
I'm quite impressed that you could spot this fake eye from that distance.
Indeed. I am the world-destroying and familiar...
Sekakowa Takasugi. Who are you?
SOmeone: That's what you're going with. You're sticking with the Nisesugi thing?!!
SFX: KUWAH (Close-up, eyes open wide)
Sa: I already knew the moment you had entered Edo.
That you and him were traveling together.
SFX: ZAU
Sa: Where
is Sakata Gintoki?

Page 10:
Gin: Hmph. Is that a joke? Me, with him?
That man has long since abandoned Edo. He won't be coming back.
After all, he never had any roots to begin with.
SFX: KUWAH
Sa: Do you still not understand what I'm saying? Playing dumb will get you nowhere.
Gin: Look at my eye.
Does this looks the face of someone playing dumb?
Hiji: It sure doesn't look like the face of somebody NOT playing dumb. Also, you sure are using that 'KUWAH' sound effect a lot, Nisesugi.
SFX: KUWAH
Gin: I'm the same way. I have no time for jokes or quarreling.
And I do not tell lies.
And Indian people... don't tell lies either.
Hiji: Uh, is that really the place for 'Kuwah'-ing? I think you're relying on the 'Kuwahs' a little too much, Nisesgui!
SFX: KUWAH
T/N: "Indian People don't lie" is the catchphrase of the Indian chef and TV personality G.M. Nair.
Gin: So, is it all right if I get going onw?
I've got a lot of world-crushing to do.
Hiji: World crushing or world kuwah-shing?
Guy: Umm, excuse me, is there a bathroom nearby?
Handwritten: Where'd this guy come from?
Hiji: Maybe it's not the world, just that guy's bladder that you're gonna kuwah-sh, Nisesugi.
SFX: KUWAH
Sa: Wait right there.
Gin: How persistent you are.

Page 11:
Gin: Forget about him.
Waiting now,
is meaningless.
Sa: Ah, I see.
In that case, I forgot how to neutralize the toxin spreading through your veins right now.
Gin: Uhh?
............!!
Sa: If you leave like that, you'll be destroyed before you can destroy the world.
And then human waste
will leak from your every orifice.
SFX: KUWAH
Hiji: Now that was a KUWAH!!
That's the proper way of using the KUWAH sound effect!!

Page 12:
Gin: Hey.
Now that you mention it, I think I saw a white-haired guy right over there.
Hiji: That was the most true-blue KUWAH this whole time!
SFX: KUWAH
Sa: Lead me to him.
I'll follow the trail of the human waste you leave behind, like Hansel and Gretel.
Hiji: But that's nothing compared to her real KUWAHs!
SFX: KUWAH
Sa: Until I meet with Sakata Gintoki,
I will not give you this antidote.
So you had best stop struggling.
Gin: Heh. You're quite the lady, to need an escort.
But can you tame this dark beast? Did you remember to bring a plastic bag and water?
Sa: Yes. It's only good etiquette to clean up after a pet that's gotten the ground dirty.
Hiji: Is he a chihuahua?! Just like some kinda dark chihuahua?!
SFX: YORO (WBBL)
Hiji: He can't even walk! He's seriously on all fours!
What're you trying to do, chihuahua?!
Gin: I... believe I saw him in this convenience store.
Hiji: What does "Chiwah" mean?!! How much of a chihuahua can you be?!!
SFX: CHIWAH
Gin: Hm?
I don't see him.
I thin I'll try checking the bathroom.
Hiji: No way, is he...?!
SFX: GARARA

Page 13:
Sign: Thank you for keeping the bathroom clean.
Guy: Occupied.
Gin: ...Ah, sorry!
I... I think it might not have been this convenience store.
Maybe that one?
Guy: Occupied.
SFX: GARAH
Woman: Occupieeed! [Heart]
SFX: GARAH
Guy: BLUB BLUB (Occupied)
SFX: GARAH SUU HAAA
Guys: Occupi~~ed!
SFX: GACHA GACHA GACHA GACHA
SFX: DOSHAAA
Sa: Sorry, but
I've had all of your escape paths destroyed.
Gin: What? Did you...
put shinobi in all of the bathrooms in Edo?
How were you able... to do that?!

Page 14:
Sa: He wasn't the only one
who up and disappeared without saying anything.
Where are you going?
Wasn't your duty
to protect the princess that inherited the Shogun's will?
Hattori: Now that peace has come, I'm the most dangerous person to the princess out there.
In a world where all enemies have disappeared, choosing enemies from among your allies and starting strife is the natural course for humans.
If I stick around, little skirmishes will never stop happening.
And I'm sure not interested in killing the people I fought with back then.

Page 15:
Hattori: Most of all, even if I disappear,
you're still here, right, Sarutobi?
I'm sure even in a peaceful world,
you'll do great guiding the blade that is the Oniwabanshuu Shinobi.
Sa: ...What's with that flattering tone?
All you're trying to do is pushing your responsibilities onto someone else.
Ha: ...Yeah, maybe.
Sa: ..........
SFX: ZAH ZAH
Sa: Hey, Zenzou,
Is "Wait for me"
the only thing you men can say?
Ha: ...Sarutobi,
Do you think you're the type
who'll just sit quietly when they're told to wait for someone?
Sa: That's a point.
---So,
I would like all of you to lend me your strength.
I may not be as strong as Zenzou,
but we all work together, I'm sure we can accomplish our goals.
So...

Page 16:
Sa: In the name of Ninja Master Sarutobi Ayame, I order you
to find Sakata Gintoki and get him to marry me!
Hiji: She's just using the ninjas like they're her private armyyyy!!
Sa: I can now move all of the ninja in Edo like they were my own arms and legs.
And every one of those ninjas are acting to find Sakata Gintoki.
I don't know what it is you're scheming,
but I will not hand Sakata Gintoki over to you.
That man's home is right here.
And if he won't come back on his own, we'll take him back by force.
He never even asked me to wait for him anyhow.
SFX: GESHIH
Gin: Heh.
I understand.

Page 17:
Sa: !
Gin: I've met my match.
You really want to see him that badly?
Hiji: !! That calm face...
Gin: Then
I guess I'll just let you know.
Hiji: Has he given up?!
Gin: I saw him in the underwear section of that shop.
Hiji: ..........!!!
Wait, no, don't tell me... is he trying to get a change of underwear?!
Did he let it all out? Is that a smile of resignation?
Gin: Come on now!
Hiji: Uh, now that's a weird way to walk!!
His sash is lower!! Is he trying to keep something from coming out from that spot?!
SFX: PYON PYON PYON (HOP HOP HOP)
Sa: Is that the poison?
Taka: Such things do not work on Takasugi.
I consciously expelled all of it through my anus.
Hiji: Uh, he's just confessing to the bowel movement!!

Page 18:
Sa: I don't see him anywhere.
Were you trying to fool me again...?
Gin: Heey, pig bitch! (Natural voice)
Sa: !!
That voice... That was Gin-san!
Is he over there?!
Gin: !!
SFX: DAH
Hiji: Why're you moving so sloooow?! Isn't this your big chance?!
Gin: Hey, you can keep the change, please, take this and get me some underwear and a full set of clothes.
Hiji: He really did let it all out!!
Forget change, all he can buy with that is a diaper!!
SFX: SHAAH
Sa: Where did he get off to?!
SFX: GATA
SFX: BATA SHAN
Hiji: The chain hooked on a mannequin!!
Sa: Hm?
There?!!
I fooound...
SFX: BAH

Page 19:
Hiji: He's back to where he starteeeeed!!
Sa: Huh?
What're you doing at a place like this,
Tsukky?
Tsu: I was just
accompanyin' Kyuubei ta buy some things.
What's with that weird chain?
Kyuu: Tae-chan... Why do I have to take my underwear off, too?
Tae: Well, the kimono is normally worn without anything underneath.
Kyuu: But I think a wedding interview with no underwear would be a bit... Huh?
Tsukuyo-dono,
I can't find my underwear. Have you-
...........
SFX: KUWAH
Insert: next issue, Gintoki dies?!
Bottom: Gintama
...Lesson 685
/ End