Archived The MangaHelpers Confessional Thread - Part 1

[Naomi]

I am shocked at how many of you think child abuse is okay. I think I'll just leave this thread for a while. >_>

 

[Zeltrax]

It isn't child abuse if the intention is good.
There is always bound to be punishment, spanking your child is light when you look at the punishment your child will receive if he/she makes that same mistake
outside of the house.
It helps to build character.
Parents do this so that their child does not repeat the same mistakes outside of the house, in the society
where the consequences will be much more severe.

Where they made the same mistake under the assumption that they will get away with just a little talk about morals and values.

Believe me when I say I come from a family where my mother does not punish us using violence, not any of us 3.
and now she regrets it but she still hold on to her moral of not resorting to punishment with violence.
Up till today I'm not sure whether it was a right choice because now? My two sisters are spoiled like anyone would.
And they are spoiled in a single parent family where my mother have to support the family on her freaking own.

I believe myself to be alright and not spoiled because I had a childhood of fearing my bastard father.
Who would cane me when I do too badly in school or when I shout at my grandmother or when I lie to him and cover up with more lies.
And today, I am thankful for him, no matter how much I hate him, because without his spanking and punishment, I would not grow up.
I would not work for grades, or stop treating my grandma like shit, and I never lie to my family.
At the end of the day, your parents can't spank you at an older age but you'll look back on it and think that whatever they did, they did it with a good intention.
It's a general term referring to "parents" because in this society there are child abusers as parents and some of them are really fucktards.

I have a beautiful woman for a mother and an asshole for a father. So I've seen two sides of the coin.

My father has had difficulties in his life, and I understand that, but he always takes it out on me somehow. He had a rough day, he finds something to shout at me. He says something unreasonable to me while my mother is in the room, he shouts at me when we're alone because my mother argued with him about his behaviour. Sometimes, even if I'm just breathing, I'm at fault. My brother has also seen through that, but not as much as I do.

The problem I have with my father is not so much that he isn't a real father figure to me, unless being grumpy counts, it's more that I can't communicate with him like one person to another. He doesn't even know me, and doesn't even seem to want to get me. And I only get along with him when he's in a good mood. The best way to get along with him is to stay out of his sight.

So you could see why I might not miss him when I start living away. Which I'm dying to do btw.

I'm sorry to hear that.
Maybe I've been living with my mom for too long but there are days when my mother vent it out on us too(less frequent now) where she had a fucked up day.
I argued back, get pissed off at each other and we're fine the next day. We talk. I didn't understand why the hell she vents it out on us, we're innocent, why are we getting scolded cos we left that piece of tissue on the table?

Until the first month I started working and was angry like hell when I went home, I did the same. That's when I don't blame her.
She doesn't understand me either, I thought having a father would be much better. But I try my best not to think that, so I want to support her in whatever difficulties she face outside as a lone woman without a husband for support. I hope that your father don't feel the same way(lack of emotional support).
Emotional support is quite important for everyone.
I don't want to sound like I'm defending anything but being a father figure isn't an easy job, you have the responsibility of financing the entire family...it's pretty hard to manage both (family and job) imo.

...and I'm really trying my best to not sound like a jerk typing this. Sorry if I offended anyone but this is what I think.

 

[TheMoa]

I am shocked at how many of you think child abuse is okay. I think I'll just leave this thread for a while. >_>

no.. I don't think that child abuse is ok, but I think that a little is panking is.
It can be a thin line, yes... and if the parents overdo the spanking, they can create just resent and anger

I remember a time when I trowed a rock at a car(don't ask me why, I don't know why I did it either). My friend ratted me out to my father
so my father asked me why I did it, I lied, he asked again, I lied.. then he asked why I was lying...
At this point I was already crying, the he told me that he would spank me cuz what I did was wrong and when you do something wrong.. you have to face consequences.
I never trowed a rock again.. if he had just scolded me/grounded me... I probably would do it again
I would think.. whatever, I can handle 1 week without tv

The spanking wasn't intended to hurt me, ti was just the momentary pain... I would hate it for 30 min, then I would be laughing at something else
But when I had face a situation like the one before, I would remember the spanking and think twice about that

 

[xi0]

My dad wasn't as much of an authority figure as my mom was when I was little. So she did the spanking, but it was pretty mild. It's not something I recall and have negative feelings about, and I don't have those feelings on the whole about my childhood. That doesn't mean I would ever spank my kids though.

 

[earthforge]

It isn't child abuse if the intention is good.

No.

That's like saying it isn't animal cruelty if you beat a dog but you intend to make it a better dog.

Minor corporal punishment like spanking is okay. It's to be avoided, but it certainly does make a punishment memorable. It also times out once the kid reaches late elementary school. If you time it correctly, the spankings stop when the child is grown up sufficiently.

But seriously beating someone? Usually just because your own life is bad? That's that mark of a disturbed individual trying to prove how powerful he is by beating those smaller than him.

And they are spoiled in a single parent family where my mother have to support the family on her freaking own.

Probably. My dad always took over whenever a kid was acting tremendously assholic.

I believe myself to be alright and not spoiled because I had a childhood of fearing my bastard father.
Who would cane me when I do too badly in school or when I shout at my grandmother or when I lie to him and cover up with more lies.
And today, I am thankful for him, no matter how much I hate him, because without his spanking and punishment, I would not grow up.
I would not work for grades, or stop treating my grandma like shit, and I never lie to my family.

But you have to realize that it doesn't always work. Some bozoette and bozo kids find other ways to abuse their family because the spanking isn't a deterrent. Especially if they're smart enough to realize that in about 10 years time, they'll be free.

Until the first month I started working and was angry like hell when I went home, I did the same. That's when I don't blame her.

Both of you need an outlet that is not your family. Because that is a form of kicking the dog, and it is to be avoided at all costs.

I don't want to sound like I'm defending anything but being a father figure isn't an easy job, you have the responsibility of financing the entire family...it's pretty hard to manage both (family and job) imo.

Nothing is easy. But you, your mom and her dad do not have the latitude to bitch out others. Again, that's kicking the dog. I don't care how overworked you are. Kicking the dog is not acceptable.

 

[Pat]

My dad wasn't as much of an authority figure as my mom was when I was little. So she did the spanking, but it was pretty mild. It's not something I recall and have negative feelings about, and I don't have those feelings on the whole about my childhood.

I was in a similar situation, my mom used to spank me on rare occasions and it was mild. I certainly doesn't resent it and I would probably do the same if I were in her shoes. The point isn't to hurt the child anyway, just to teach the child what he did was wrong. It's hard to talk when you don't have kids but I'm not strictly against spanking. Of course it can be argued that there're better ways to discipline a child, many psychologists agree that spanking a child is plain wrong but from my personal experience, I can say that it helps children learn from their mistakes. If all other punishment methods prove useless and the kid misbehaves (partly because they think they can get away with it), I would rather spank the children than allow them to keep doing what they're doing out of desperation. As long as I believe they'll thank me when they grow up, it's not a problem.

 

[Adorien]

Sorry if I offended anyone but this is what I think.

I don't think you've offended anyone, at least not me. Thanks for sharing that and giving your opinion.

I'm not saying that I don't understand that my father has to vent somewhere, we all do that, but his venting is a bit too... agressive, so to say (my expressions make no sense xD). And when he's like that, he gets angry at everything that he sees. I understand that. But I don't like it. And I don't think I need to. But he never tried to understand me. Or talk to me, or try to listen to what I have to say. That's what I'm the saddest about. And telling him numerous times doesn't help, he just doesn't hear me out. He's sort of being his father... His father was even worse to him, he beat him and his brother when they were little. So he sort of carried it out on me and my brother.

Oh, I forgot to mention my mom hit me once with a triangle (used for measuring, not those musical triangles xD) on the head, and it broke btw, because I didn't get a math exam...

And no, child abuse, whether physical or psychological, or both is never okay. And it's not just my opinion.

 

[M3J]

I am shocked at how many of you think child abuse is okay. I think I'll just leave this thread for a while. >_>

Spanking is not child abuse. Your definition of child abuse is a child getting hit, right? We likely differ here as my definition of child abuse is a child getting hit unnecessarily or hit too hard. For example, if my dad hit me for no reason, then I'd consider that a child abuse. If my mom kept bitchslapping me hard at least five times, that'd be child abuse. If either hit me because they were just angry, that'd be child abuse.

If my mom or dad spanked me or belted me once for doing somethin stupid, I wouldn't see that as child abuse. It'd be deserved.

 

[Adorien]

Wait... belted? o.o

 

[BBB Banana]

I also was beat by my parents when I was little and I think it helped me being a better person. But there should always be a reason beind it not just random spanking.
And there are limits too you don't wanna make a crack in you child's skull

Now I wanted to make a less serious confession and the seriousness from this thread just killed my mood... gonna save it for later...

 

[Adorien]

I confess I want to know BB's confession!

 

[BBB Banana]

If you wanna see it I'll show it just for you

 

[Adorien]

If you wanna see it I'll show it just for you

Telleth me?

 

[Ninja2]

I confess my cousin saying she would date me was the most awkward moment in my life. That was some years ago we where both young curious adolescence I guess you could say.. Luckily both of us have grown up since then and have mutually agreed never to bring that up.LOL

 

[Adorien]

I could never get the brains behind the idea that cousins could date...

 

[Ninja2]

Same for me I guess they say if it's like your 7th cousin or something distantly related but whatever that is just too weird not ok with me.

 

[M3J]

Wait... belted? o.o

Dad belted me once. Probably felt bad so he never did it again.

 

[Adorien]

Same for me I guess they say if it's like your 7th cousin or something distantly related but whatever that is just too weird not ok with me.

There is no such thing as a 7th cousin... There are 1st, 2nd and 3rd cousins. Past that you aren't considered related. Very distant cousins don't count. We're all cousins. xD

 

[TheMoa]

Dad belted me once. Probably felt bad so he never did it again.

my father's spanking was always with the belt... but he would only hit me when the shit got seriously. Usually it was my mom with the flip flops hehe

---------- Post added at 10:29 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:26 PM ----------

I have some really hot cousins and I would totally go out with them... I see them only once a year, so we don't have that sense of proximity
the family wouldn't like though... so it is only in a hypothetical situation
Although some years ago one of them was trying to get me.. but she was really young. It was that early teen trying to be woman, you know?
So everytime that she tried something I would just laugh and tell he to play with her dolls. haha

 

[Farfalla]

You're problem is that you're the youngest, Moa.
Whenever I'd put myself in trouble, I'd blame it on Thais and scape the belt ^.^