Check it out!

[CallMeZionn]

Here you go, tell me what you think about it, anything is fine

[/IMG]

 

[TitaniumChloride]

I do recommend that:

1) Your credits be moved to the bottom of the page. The font might not need to be so big either...
2) Move the "Darkness is my only friend" line to somewhere near the top of the page and center it. Also, the font could be bigger.
3) The colours you've used for the central character is quite bright. Maybe use some darker tones and overlay a black to white gradient to make the character blend in more with the background, since she's supposed to be a part of the 'darkness'. (My impression anyway). Or maybe use a grayscale palette...
4) I don't know what you have planned, but maybe a hint as to the next page, a panel maybe of background or action or something, around the bottom of the page could help. It might also make the transition smoother. But honestly, it could work out without this depending on your next page.

I can't really say much about your art now, but it could always get better. Any errors with anatomy didn't stand out too much, so that's always good by my books.

Do what you will with this comment, but it's just my two cents. :/

 

[CallMeZionn]

I do recommend that:

1) Your credits be moved to the bottom of the page. The font might not need to be so big either...
2) Move the "Darkness is my only friend" line to somewhere near the top of the page and center it. Also, the font could be bigger.
3) The colours you've used for the central character is quite bright. Maybe use some darker tones and overlay a black to white gradient to make the character blend in more with the background, since she's supposed to be a part of the 'darkness'. (My impression anyway). Or maybe use a grayscale palette...
4) I don't know what you have planned, but maybe a hint as to the next page, a panel maybe of background or action or something, around the bottom of the page could help. It might also make the transition smoother. But honestly, it could work out without this depending on your next page.

I can't really say much about your art now, but it could always get better. Any errors with anatomy didn't stand out too much, so that's always good by my books.

Do what you will with this comment, but it's just my two cents. :/

Thanks for the tips, the character does look bright, but thats because when i originally drew this it was not supposed to be in a dark area and i just added the black backround later on, I am going to end up fixing it i just dont know when.

Thanks again,
CallMeZionn

 

[TitaniumChloride]

That second version does look better.

And is this page actually a part of the comic?

 

[CallMeZionn]

no, to tell you the truth, its just a picture of a character, i might turn it into the title page but i am not sure yet, anyway thx for those tips.