Done Help with Dusk Maiden Amnesia page

[Seven Winters]

I've been translating this manga for Meow Edited Mangas And I'm having real trouble with this one particular page:

Chaper 1, page number 111
As far as I can tell is reads something like
Okonogi: there’s a name engraved on that stone
Okonogi: Yuuko
Okonogi: Whenever something happens at our school people usually say
Okonogi: “It was Yuuko”
Okonogi : That why
Okonogi: I sometimes feel like I stepped on her grave

If anyone can offer help that would be great

 

[DrCoke]

You're right on Line 1.
Line 2: That name is "Yuuko".
Line 3: In most of the school's rumors-
Line 4: That name, "Yuuko", comes up, right?
Line 5: I'm thinking
Line 6: that the "Yuuko" in the rumors is in that grave.

What you misunderstood is that the 踏んでる in the last bubble means "to have a hunch" or "to assume". If you look up the phrase 踏まえる, you'll see that it's related to that definition.

 

[Seven Winters]

Many thanks good Dr!!

If I could, could I get you assistance with this page?

Here's what I've got:
139
Panel1
Yuuto: To think it would appear right after we spoke yesterday!
Yuuto: Hey Niiya-san… I bet you hung around after school!
Yuuto: That’s the unknown phenomenon research division!
Panel 2
Yuuto: Did you have an encounter with the supernatural… Or maybe just something weird happen???

Panel 3
Teiichi: I guess so.
Teiichi: I did see something yesteryday.
Panel 4
Yuuto: Did you see who?
Panel 5
Teiichi: I saw, but I only got there after the classroom was destroyed
Panel 6
Yuuto: hmmmmm…..
Panel 7
Teiichi: Her’s something. In the middle of the classroom was a girl that I think you’ve run into before. Oh right…
Teiichi: Yoshizawa-san. Same class as us.
Yuuto: Yeah… we’ve known each other since little school.
Panel 8:
Teiichi: And so… where is Yoshizawa san?

 

[cookie_on_fire]

Panel 1:
In Yuuto's second bubble, adding in -san when it is doesn't exist in the original text is really weird. It feels like you are giving him a different personality. But if you've been using -san the whole time, then I guess it can't be helped. Also, instead of "I bet you hung around after school!", it's more like "you were still around after school, right?"
Third bubble, "You know...in the Paranormal Activity Investigation Club!" I personally think that's a better translation of the club.

Panel 2
"Did you have an encounter of some sort? Like with something suspicious..."

Panel 4
"You saw something...?"

Panel 6
"I...see."

Panel 7
Teiichi: "But you know..." instead of "here's something".
Yuuto: "Yeah...I know her well. We've been together since elementary school."

Panel 8
Once again, it's best to follow the original text exactly, meaning using the full name.

I've only pointed out things that I thought had issues. Hope that helped. Although keep in mind that I don't know the context, so I may have missed some errors.

 

[Seven Winters]

Thanks!

Panel 1:
In Yuuto's second bubble, adding in -san when it is doesn't exist in the original text is really weird. It feels like you are giving him a different personality.

Thanks for catching this, I completely overlooked the lack of an honorific.

I'll definitely give thought to the club translation, I used " unknown phenomenon research division" is that the founder is a major extrovert, and having a pretentious name seemed very in character.

I'm a tad confused on what you mean for panel 8. Yoshizawa's full name is "Yoshizawa Haruka", and unless I'm completely botching the language (Which I more than admit to be completely) possible the Kanji say "today" and "Yoshizawa". What I am I missing?

Many thanks for this... and if I could just get your attention for one last thing: These last three panels

What i've got is the Yuuko (the girl) says that Teiichi (the boy) is making a scary/depressing face

Teiichi's reply is throwing me for a loop: I think he's saying something to the effect of : " I'm Making the face because I'm the one who brought forth the truth of the rumor" Ie. something to the effect of "Yoshizawa is in trouble because of what I did."

Yuuko's reply: You're scared... even though you always hang out with a ghost?!


Any way, thanks for your help!

 

[cookie_on_fire]

Haha, sorry, I misread what he said in panel 8. You were right.

If you think like your translation of the club name, then go ahead and use it, since you have the meaning correct

As for the new page you provided, she's definitely saying scary face, probably because he's looking so serious.
He's saying something like "Because I brought the ghost story to reality".

Yep, you got Yuuko's words right. Although the first part was a question of course :P "Are you scared?"

 

[Seven Winters]

Okay let me check this one
page 147
Teiichi: the ghost of the the girl who died of mercury poisoning is destroying classrooms....

Teiichi: In other words

---

Teichi: in other words there might be a ghost other than you?

 

[cookie_on_fire]

If it's just to top panel, then you are mostly correct:
"The ghost of the girl who died of mercury poisoning, who destroyed the classroom..."

"In other words---There may be a ghost other than you around..."

 

[Seven Winters]

Just a few more pages then I'm done with this chapter!!!

Two pages in specific re giving me fits

PAge 156

Page 153
**** WARNING, PSYCHO BABEL IS ABOUT TO ENSUE*****
Panel 1:
Okonogi: We've investigated the poltergeist, however…
Panel 2:
Okonogi: A ghost, a restless spirit as it may be… is the number one psychic phenomena that comes to mind is this case
Okonogi: But in reality! We’re dealing with psychic powers. At least in theory
Panel 3
Okonogi: It’s especially seen in girls entering puberty
Konogi: A suppressed and insecure heart can cause it to manifest in the form of a run away poltergeist
Okonogi: in otherwords, psycho kinesis manifest from within the subconscious
Panel 4
Teiichi: Subconconcious kinesis
Panel 5
Okonogi: That’s just a theory I saw discussed on the net.
Okonogi: But maybe the girl we saw yesterday was --

Page 159

Yuuko: I wonder why you’re so convinced that there’s a ghost at work here…
Yuuko: That’s it. You’re still sold on that rumor
Teiichi: Exactly! Yuuto said—
Yuuko: Yuuto deceived himself into saying that there was a ghost
Panel 2
Yuuko: Teiichi –kun.
Yuuko: There are not other ghosts. Just me.
Yuuko: Period. End of story.
Yuuko: I’m a ghost, so please consider me the leading authority.
Panel 3
Teiichi: That means…
Panel 4
Yuuko: That he told a lie.
Yuuko: He wanted a ghost to be the cause
Yuuko: But he was mistaken
Panel 5
Teiichi: Yoshizawa didn’t remember anything!
Teiichi: and she wasn’t coherent enough to lie (Lit: In that state)


(I'm pretty confident that I got the gist of it, but I'm a confused with the dialouge at the end. a

 

[cookie_on_fire]

I'm slightly confused...what exactly on that page do you need help with?

 

[Seven Winters]

Shoot, I must of deleted what I put up last night

Made the corrections to that post... I should be good.

Many thanks.

 

[cookie_on_fire]

I'll just do p. 153 right now and will get back to you later on the other page.

Page 153:
Panel 1:
I looked into it, and I think it's supposed to be a poltergeist.
Panel 2:
A ghost on a rampage...That is to say, probably a spiritual phenomenon.
Actually--some may even say that it's the result of psychic powers.
Panel 3:
It's especially seen by girls in their puberty...
The suppressed insecurities in their hearts would manifest into the form of poltergeists and run wild.
Panel 4:
---In other words, telekinesis released subconsciously.
Subconscious...telekinesis.
Panel 5:
But it's just what I read on the net.
Perhaps the girl from yesterday also---

---

Ok, sorry about the long pause. Now on to 159:

Panel 1:
So then...why do you think it's the work of a ghost?
It's because...I heard a rumor...
....That's right, Yuuto said so.
"I saw the ghost trashing the classroom with my own eyes"...
...He said.
I told you!

Panel 2:
Teiichi-kun
There are no other ghosts besides me in this school.
I'm sure of it.
I know because I'm a ghost...At least believe that much.

Panel 3:
...Huh? That means...

Panel 4:
He's lying.
There was no violent ghost to begin with.
The one who actually trashed the room was without a doubt...

Panel 5:
But...!
Yoshizawa-san said she doesn't remember anything.
Even her...It's hard to imagine she would be lying in that state.

Given only one page, I don't know if they will fit the context.

 

[Seven Winters]

Many thanks Cookie. Your absence was keenly felt.

One last page and I'm wrapped up this chapter for the proofreaders
Page 177

Teiichi: But…
Teiichi: Okay, we won’t have a repeat, probably
Panel 2
Teiichi: But Yoshizawa-san – Was it really necessary [for you totake the blame]
Panel 3
Yuuko: We distracted her from her pain, so she won’t go on rampages any more
Yuuko: I think that’s something
Panel 4
Yuuko: I only need
Yuuko: One person who can see me as I am
Yuuko: That’s all.


In context: Yuuko (The girl, who is a ghost) has just taken the blame off the girl who was vandalizing classrooms (wasn't entirely the girls fault, Teiichi ( the boy with glasses) a tad unsure if making people afraid of uuko is really a good idea.

 

[cookie_on_fire]

Panel 1:
But...
I think there could be a repeat. (じゃないでしょう/のではないでしょう means I think that...)

Before I go on further, is Yoshizawa the girl who actually vandalized the classroom?

 

[Seven Winters]

That she is. Though there were extenuating circumstances.

 

[Unproductive]

hmm I took a look and got something markedly different. Lots of questions left unanswered by looking only at a single page.

Teiichi: But…
Teiichi: then, won't it happen again? (then = this way = if that is the case)
Panel 2
Teiichi: Yoshizawa-san, you know, - what she needs is to be saved from everything.　(what might this possibly mean?)
Panel 3
Yuuko: It was a violent outburst to distract (herself?) from loneliness,
Yuuko: but she didn't do that because of anything at fault. (what could this line mean?)
Panel 4
Yuuko: She was just
Yuuko: a person looking at herself honesty. (possibly meaning something that the girl realized about herself?)
Yuuko: That’s all.

 

[Seven Winters]

hmm I took a look and got something markedly different. Lots of questions left unanswered by looking only at a single page.

Quick summary of the last few chapters is that Yuuko (the ghost with the long black hair) has taken the blame for a lot the things that happen around the school to protect the other student. So I think that she (Yuuko) is talking about herself in the middle panel.

If any one can confidently confirm/deny I'd be greatful

 

[Unproductive]

Talking about herself?? All the other lines would also be about herself since there aren't any topic switches. It's hard to make sense of it that way, and it doesn't sound like she's talking about herself.

I'd say that the conversation is mostly focused on other girl and the one time she went out of control.

 

[Seven Winters]

Talking about herself?? All the other lines would also be about herself since there aren't any topic switches. .

Well, that would explain why I'm having so much trouble translating the thing. Let me take another look

 

[cookie_on_fire]

She's talking about the girl and not herself.
She's saying what the girl needed was someone who would accept her the way she is, and not blah blah (stuff she says in the middle panel)...