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Morgoba

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In 2025 the human race has finally conquered space and 40% of the human race lives in artificially built colonies called Arcs. Because every person in the colony is registered and the law is strictly enforced, crime rates in the Arcs is as low as 5%. Main Character is an orphan living alone in such a colony, he is lazy and has no interest in normal every day activities, one day when he assists a robbery gone wrong it suddenly hits him. He will become the first thief to never get caught in an Arc and so begins Main Character's journey to become the perfect thief.
 

Googlez_kun

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I kinda don't get what the setting has to do with the plot.
 

DoctorApollo

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The world makes it much harder to be a thief, so I guess the setting is supposed to make the mission that much more challenging than it would be in our world or any different one.

I think that's the point of it, anyway.
 

artistRainwater

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This is a different perspective told from a protagonist who actually, in terms of what defines a hero, is actually un-herioc :P I do wonder about his values, like, why does he turn to stealing as a means of defining who he is? Does his character represent some sort of inner human-tendency? haha, I just hope it doesn't teach people to go steal from their neighbors :P
 

Googlez_kun

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The world makes it much harder to be a thief, so I guess the setting is supposed to make the mission that much more challenging than it would be in our world or any different one.

I think that's the point of it, anyway.
Then just make a city/country with no crimes. I don't see how colonies and outer space and all contribute to the story. It rather distracts from it to be honest.
 

dahusa

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Then just make a city/country with no crimes. I don't see how colonies and outer space and all contribute to the story. It rather distracts from it to be honest.
Well, isn't that a major hook of the story? Something that sets it apart. No-one would want to hear about yet another outlaw sneaking over yet another wall, but if he stowed away on an intergalactic cruiser (the space equivalent) we'd be hats-off to him.

I agree with artistRainwater, it might be important to give the main character some special motive to break the law, unless you want to work with the whole concept that man is essentially a lawless creature.
 

Googlez_kun

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Well, isn't that a major hook of the story? Something that sets it apart. No-one would want to hear about yet another outlaw sneaking over yet another wall, but if he stowed away on an intergalactic cruiser (the space equivalent) we'd be hats-off to him.

I agree with artistRainwater, it might be important to give the main character some special motive to break the law, unless you want to work with the whole concept that man is essentially a lawless creature.
To me it seems like a cheap gimmick. You could leave it away and it wouldn't change anything about the plot. First it attracts, then distracts. I don't think that's good.
Either give it a purpose or leave it away.
 

gigono

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I think the story could be good. However i think you need a reason as a to why he wants to pull off these crimes. The way i see it now is a kid stole something ,got away, and now he is hooked on the thrill of robbing people.Also the plot could be good but make sure it works with the crimes he commits or it will seem pointless. After all why have it in space if he just runs away from each crime scene .
 

karim sassi

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i think it can be great i like the plot but there has to be a motive but so far so good i like the space idea really good and i hope there are fights or even without fights if its like conan or death note then it will be amazing.
 

blackrabbit07

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sounds ordinary to me unless you show how unordinary it is on your script. I've watch an anime with some similarity in c0ncepts(somehow) so you need to work on how it will become unique. Or maybe its just lacking of s0mething :-)
thats just my opini0n
 
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