Done [JP] touhokuben!

[fevrier]

So...

This is my first time translating something with strong dialect. The manga is Sowachine, and Machine, the main character, is a country boy who comes to Tokyo for university. After being made fun of for his Touhoku accent, he never talks to anyone until he runs into a girl, Sowahara, carrying some heavy metal pipes. He follows her and helps her with her project, building a stage. They enjoy themselves, and she asks him to join the club she's building the stage for, a theater circle, even though he still doesn't talk. He accepts, and decides to address the gathered members. At first it goes all right, but then...

こ。。。こんなオラを必要としてくれるなんて。。。
If... If you really need someone like me...

岨原さん。。。そして皆さん。。。
Sowahara-san... Everyone...

こちらからこそお願いします！！
Let's work together from now on! (not very literal)

オラば。。。
I...

ながまさ入れっでけろ！！
???

I really have no idea what the second part could be. 「おれは仲間入れってできたよ」とか？ In English, "I finally joined a group/found friends" or something like that?

This manga has an online reader (which talks!) so if you want to look at the page, it's in the first chapter:


http://club.shogakukan.co.jp/magazine/SH_CSNDY/sowatine_001/detail/

 

[Boon0175]

Re: touhokuben!

おらば/ながまさ/いれっで/けろ！！=
おれ　を/なかま　に/いれて/くれ！！

And you seem to misunderstand the 3rd sentence.
Have you interpreted "こちら/から/こそ" as "from now on"?
I can't translate and explain literally but flow of lines is as below.

こ。。。こんなオラを必要としてくれるなんて。。。
(I can't believe that) the person like me is ...needed (by you/somebody/others)... [literal to some extent]
(I can't believe that) the useless person like me is needed (by you/somebody/others)... [in this context, "こんな" has negative connotation]

こちら/から/こそ/ お願いします！！
This side:I/from/just/ please!!

I can't believe that somebody ask crap(or useless guy) like me to join you.
It's just my word, please let me join you!!

 

[mikkih]

Re: touhokuben!

How about something like this:

It's such an honor for someone like me to be needed.
Sawahara-san and everyone ...
Thanks so much for inviting me.
I ...
I would love to join your team.

 

[fevrier]

Re: touhokuben!

hm, yeah, I didn't translate the "なんて" very well in the first sentence. And こちらからこそ as well...

so then こちらからこそお願いします would mean literally something like "it is (emphatic) from my own (humble) self I ask you”

because earlier Sowahara says she wants him to join, and so I imagine that こそ　would be to say that he thinks the role should be switched?

and then the thought continues with the next lines, おれを仲間に入れてくれ！ which would be a request.

つまり：

I can't believe you need someone like me...

Sowahara-san, everyone...

I should be the one asking.

Please let me join your group!

 

[mikkih]

Re: touhokuben!

By the way, I did not read the raw, so my previous (non-literal) translation was based on what you originally posted.

Your final translation is just fine, I think.

こちらからこそお願いします --> Since こちらこそよろしくお願いします。（Pleasure is mine./ I am looking forward to work with you.） is a set phrase, I thought it was what he was saying first.

Yes, you are absolutely correct. It is a request, so the regular translation for the straight forward "おれを仲間に入れてくれ" would be "Please let me join you." as you guessed.

The reasons why I first translated differently were because I did not read "からこそ" part and there were structural differences in English and Japanese. Since you listed　"おらば（＝おれを）..." and "ながまさ入れっでけろ(=仲間にいれてくれ)" separately, I thought they were in 2 different speech bubbles or printed apart from each other: let's say the bubble A and bubble B. When you translate "おらば" in bubble A as "I" since it sounds odd to use Me (the first-person objective pronoun) first, then you need to change the rest of the sentence structure to go along in bubble B, for example the way I put it. When you put "Please..." in bubble A, then you can keep the regular translation in the bubble B, and in this case, the latter should be the best choice after "I should be the one who is asking."

 

[fevrier]

Re: touhokuben!

Yeah, the mistake was mine, I translated the first sentence without reading it carefully the first time XD

Thanks so much for the feedback!