Being that it's your first try with photoshop, I would say it's good enough.
some stuff:
-the leveling needs improvement. From the raw I would have done 50 black, 236 white.
-redrawing the frame borders doesn't need to be done on this one, unless you or your group really wants it to look like that. If it absolutely must, then there is an extra little line in between frame 2 and 3. The borders on left and right the side need a bit more explaining.
-Sometimes there are black/white lines on the side from the scans being cropped a little off. On the bottom of the 7th frame, that is what happened, but on the left and right they seem to be frame borders. Normally when a page has a borders on an edge, there is a medium-large gap of background color, usually black or white. So to fix it on this either crop it further to the right to create that white area, or crop to the left to get rid of the black lines. Another way this can be fixed is by moving the frames. In some cases, like 2nd and 6th frame, it can be done by selecting a frame with the polygonal lasso tool or any of the selecting tools really, and moving it over with the move tool and arrow keys (using the mouse is unreliable). On frames like the top one though, it can't be simply moved over because then the other side will get more messed up. In this case it needs to be redrawn with the stuff like the brush and clone-stamp tools. But for simple manga just cropping it is fine, unless you're under strict orders to keep the pages the same size/proportion as the raws.
-Redrawing the chapter title would be best, but not necessary. Putting the text above it can look fine. I also realize you probably don't have translations for this, and beginning redrawing it is helpful to have the text there also (if the layer is not constantly on, at least it's there for checking purposes).
-I don't like the page numbers, but that's just a preference thing. But I will tell you to remove them also. Come on lets start the no page number revolution!!
edit: just thought I'd mention one more thing. Compared to the leveling, the others things are unimportant. Just leveling and putting text in is good enough to read a manga and not be constantly annoyed by the ugliness of most raws. But you should aim for perfect of course.
