Movies The Movie Thread! - Continuation

[goldb]

Yes those, I can't imagine watching either in cinema to be fair. I'd be okay for an intermission if the movie was Ben-Hur length, cos in theatres I can normally contain myself for about 4 hours, give or take.

 

[xi0]

I guess it's similar to how there are intermissions between the Acts of plays and what not

 

[Crude]

The first time I actually noticed that movies didn't have breaks outside Portugal was when I watched Inception in Scotland. I noticed this because I was ready to use the bathroom before the film started but had decided to go during the break. It's true, a lot of the time the break can ruin the momentum of the movie (you can actually sort of tell the break's coming up due to several "cigarette burns" appearing on the screen), but I am thankful for them when watching a long movie. They're pretty pointless when watching short movies, but they're also good if you want to use the bathroom or buy something at the lobby (usually I only buy popcorn during the break since I tend to finish it all during the first half). Now that I think about it, there probably aren't as many sessions compared to theaters in other countries :/

 

[baboysai]

We don't have breaks or intermissions here in the Philippines. They just run it full length.

Although, I got the DVD version of "Gone with the Wind" and that's like, super old, and it still included the intermission parts- like ten whole minutes of nothing but a picture and the word "Intermission" and my mother explained that that's how movies were like in the old days.

 

[Crude]

Yeah I noticed the same thing when I watched The Sound of Music on DVD. I thought it was really random, maybe something to do with the fact that it was a musical. It was a nice intermission though, showing the prettiness that is Austria xD

 

[Doraku]

Although, I got the DVD version of "Gone with the Wind" and that's like, super old, and it still included the intermission parts- like ten whole minutes of nothing but a picture and the word "Intermission" and my mother explained that that's how movies were like in the old days.

I had this experience too. So this theater play some old movies, "Gone with the Wind" and "Lawrence of Arabia" which are basically long movies by today's standards, and in the middle of the movie the word "break" or anything like that popped up to the screen and I knew that's the time when you want to buy refreshments or go to the toilet etc. Too bad the theater was gone several years ago.

 

[kkck]

Ok, so today I feel like rambling in a thread I don't usually write at about a movie which I did not particularly care about(snowhite and the huntsman).

Spoiler

Normally I am not too picky about which movies I go to see at the movies. Overall rather than being nitpicky about it I try to enjoy myself with my friends or whoever I am at the movies with(I usually go to the movies once a week). Only movies I recently outright refused to see at the movies was twilight and harry potter(even though I read every book) because experienced taught me not even spending time with people I care for is worth that. Anyways, the other day I ended watching snowhite and the huntsmen. Overall I care little about the names of the people in movies(which is weird considering how often I go), I generally only remember names from movies I either really liked or really hated. Still, when I went to watch this movie all I knew was that they guy from thor was in it and it was supposed to be a somewhat darker version of the traditional story. Overall I kinda enjoyed the beginning of the movie. It made sense with what I knew of the story and set a decent tone. Then I saw kirsten steward was in it. I gave myself hope that the movie wouldn't be a waste considering it was actually plausible (at that point) she could act without looking constipated (which has been her only feature in the 2 twilight movies I did watch and is likely to be her only feature in the 2 I won't watch) and transmit actual emotions and feelings through her performance. Now, as her first scene ended I could only notice one thing. She looked heavily constipated. Had I not seen 2 twilight movies I would have assumed it had something to do with prison food however this was evidently not the case. Just before this I noticed odd (by which I mean outright nonsense). The leaky mirror (I admit I enjoyed that special effect though) from which the dementor came out made a point out of snowhite being of age and fairer than the evil queen. I immediately though, ok, that makes sense with everything about snowhite but then there was something stranger there (which might be subjetive but still). What exactly did the mirror mean by fairer? Given that this is a fairy tale it would make sense for the mirror to be talking about inner beauty but that plainly does not make sense. Any woman in the kingdom would have more inner beauty than the remorseless narcissistic mass murdering maiden-heart eating queen. We even had a scene of her eating a birds raw heart to show how evil she was (even though we had seen her do other less disgusting evil before). Now, the alternative would be that the mirror was talking about physical beauty. This is subjective but I do not buy that steward was actually prettier or fairer than the queen. On an objective note, no one looks attractive when your face looks like you are constipated from 6 years of prison food.

Now, soon enough we see snowhite escape from prison using a nail which she removed from the wall using her super strength from being in prison 6 years without any walking space(her strained face suggests that while pulling the nail she was actually pushing something else) by attacking the queen's brother who looks suspiciously like a pedophile (he is not an actual pedophile though, he just wants to take advantage of the caged princess half his age or less). Then she runs out of the unguarded tower (really?), then outruns a bunch of guards at the courtyard or something and mcgyvers her way into a sewer. Of course the sewer leads to the ocean to which she jumps and then swims towards freedom against violent sea currents in a way which would put Michael Phelps on cocaine to shame. All of it with the sheer physical capacity that jail food (which presumably is mean enough to have her maintain her constipated face through a chase scene) and not moving should give her.

Of course after all of this everyone is in hot pursuit of her but a magic white horse just happens to appear. This is still acceptable because the story is indeed based on a fairy tale. She runs off on her noble steed only to have it get swallowed by mud or a bog or something (which would have been the most emotional scene of the movie had it lasted 2 seconds longer) at the entrance of the dark forest or something something evil. Two absurd things happen here. The first is that the dark forest (where the queen has no power) does not seem actually magical and everything evil about it seems to be related to mushroom spores or something. I guess it is possible they were magical spores (but that would the point of that be?). Then we see the hunter find snowhite, take a desicion about whether to hand her over to the queen only to decide against it and take on some 5 dudes on his own. At this point we find out that the queens brother is actually something about as power as captain america rigged with immortality steroids which leads to him beating up thor the hunter who is only saved because pedo-brother fell on the ambiguously magical spores and hallucinates wannabe Tim Burton nightmares (which indentally, snowwhite also did before).

Then snowhite and the hunter escape together.

On an interesting scene after agreeing to kinda help snowhite the hunter walks up to her and rips off her skirt. At this point I couldn't help but wonder whether I was ignorant about middle age dresses and they all came with leader pants and boots or this guy was about to make a move on her. How did he know the princess's dress had pants and boots under it? Or was he about to force himself on her but was turned off by how badly it must have smelled down there after being a prisoner for some reason and running all that distance through a dark forest with free drugs while wearing a princess dress and leader pants? I guess that in fairy tales the damsel in distress thing is so standard than princesses are equipped with all purpose clothes at all times.

Now there is one of the more ridiculous scenes in the movie, the troll fight (in which the troll is an actual monster hiding by a bridge and not snowhite arguing or fighting the hunter). The trolls proceeds to do troll stuff (by which I mean physically destroy stuff, not the internet counterpart which does the same but to life and everyone's IQs) and beats up the hunter. By this point snowhite awkwardly walks in, gives him a constipated look with her clearly in pain eyes due to constipation and the troll walks away. This is so overwhelmingly absurd I refuse to comment on it further.

Later on the dwarfs befriend snowhite and the hunter and lead them to a magical forest inhabited by magical fairies and critters. There were at least 3 moments where I thought that snowhite would start singing and have animals move and fly around her however this did not happen. My guess is that singing does not work well with a constipated face and perhaps not even autotune can make kirsten steward sing. Then we see the gang moving on forward as the forest gets more magical. Then we see two birds giving birth to smeagel and gollum from their stomachs(to be fair, I didn't mention the stuff the 2 birds from which they came out did but it was still pretty disturbing). And yeah, the two fairies looked like golum with botox. Then we see the fairies not being important for the rest of the movie. Right after that we see snowhite meeting bambi's father who gives her his blessing (because bambi's father is badass). Then they get found by the queen's men and bambi's dad gets shot with an arrow.

Afterwards snowhite gets reunited with her childhood friend (which I did not mention before but is there). Later on nothing in particular happens but she ends up with him, alone, in the woods. They share a moment and snowhite bits an apple which he happened to have. Then it is revealed that the queen transformed into him and had given her a poison apple. Strangely, the poisoned apple transforms into a hairy soap after being bitten. snowhite died. The childhood friend who is also the son of the duke which is the closest thing to a prince in the movie kisses her but nothing happens. At this point edward team in the audience screamed in outrage and jacob team finally got a break (and I died a little inside at the realization that I spend enough time on the internet to know there is an edward and jacob team even though I have never touched the books).

Then we see snowhite's body being exhibited with only thor being there. Presumably everyone else noted the constipated face and no one wanted to be there when her organs or whatnot relaxed and six years of prison food were released. The hunter walks up to her, admits to being in love with her and kisses her cold dead body. Because that should not be creepy to the audience. Then he walks away and shortly afterwards snowhite revives. At this point team edward was staring blankly at the floor. I could only help but wonder if snowhite had picked the hunter who treated her like crap and actually did nothing throughout the movie in spite of being one of the title characters because she was a rich princess to begin with contrary to the twighlight series where the emo guy was the loaded one.

At this point snowhite walks up to the people and gives a speech with a constipated expression which fails at being inspiring. Everyone agrees to go to war. And then snowhite transforms into xena. Because prison food and being imprisoned for years does nothing to your physical condition. Then they get to the castle, they fight with the queen's army, snowhite fights the queen and kills her. To me the crowing moment of the movie were the last 5 second of the movie where snowhite was made the queen. There is a closeup on her face where we see her exceedingly constipated face and then a smile of relief at which point I assumed she just took a dump.

And I am never seeing a kirsten steward movie again even (and perhaps specially) if its a porno (because that would be a terrible place to look constipated).

 

[Crude]

Just finished watching Lost Highway. My reaction...

Spoiler

Even Mulholland Drive was easier to understand. Not that I didn't enjoy both movies, quite the contrary, I enjoyed both a lot. Blue Velvet was also pretty great (as well as much easier to follow xD).

 

[White Rabbit]

My friends "forced" me to watch Wrath of the Titans yesterday.
I have to admit that the action is rather well executed and not done in this popular Michael-Bay-Shakycam-Style that gives me headaches nowdays.
But the so called plot is not even worth mentioning.
Everytime I see a movie like this, I perfectly understand how someone came up with the term "no-brainer".

 

[Schabrak]

Yeah, the movie wasn't bad, but it was so childish and not deep at all.

Spoiler

Going to the hidden island -> labyrinth -> short teaser[hell] -> end fights. Ares is a god and he still became jealous of a widowed fisherman... come on!

They just wanted to cash in more money, but Worthingtan's appeal has lost it's charm over the years, especially with Man on a Ledge.

Did also watch Merantau to prepare for the The Raid BD release in a couple weeks. One is easily reminded of Ong Bak, but this one at least had some effective outcome, good fighting choreography throughout.

 

[kkck]

My main issue with the movie is that it was exactly the same as the last. I can understand to some degree a plots being recycles time to time however in this case we are talking about a sequel which recycled the original's plot. Its plain absurd lol. Lets take a look at the thing.

-In the original movie the girl gets resurrected by zeus (we should just skip over zeus not being the god of death or anything, can't be sure if the actual mythological zeus could do that) by the end. Then at the start of this movie we find that the girl died at childbirth. Wooho, the plot of the previous movie was murdered.

- In this movie we see perseus as a fisherman for 10 years. Afterwards he kills a quimera on his own because his demigod muscles don't get rusty over time (not sure if that a joke or not).

-Then we see perseus trying to find out what to do in this movie. He finds out he has to met hephasteous. He also finds out that getting a magical item will allow him a measly mortal demigod to kill kronos. We just have to ignore the fact that zeus could have killed kronus millenniums ago instead of sealing him.

- Perseus gets the magical giant slaying item.

- Then we see what kronos]kraken[/s] looks like. Cronos kraken is a giant lava elemental monster that came from the depths of the earth ocean to smash stuff. We are completely going to ignore that no part of greek mythology describes kronos as a giant monster but rather as a normal godly creature.

-The we see the movie take one last piss at the resurrected dead girl from the last movie when perseus tells his son to fight the hell out of stuff even though she had wanted him to live a normal happy life.

 

[Schabrak]

Wrath of the Titans SPOILERS

The biggest disappointment was the Kronos end scene, that was so miserable... they build him up to be a big mofo, but you can easily fly into him, while being showered by burning lava, ride through his throat[?] and come out alive without being turned to ash. That made no sense and as I can see from your list, as did most of the movie. I wish I would rather been spoiled beforehand now. XD

 

[kkck]

To be the part of kronos actually being a giant lava monster made even less sense than what my previous post would imply. Wasn't kronos going to reduce creation to nothing? Wasn't he going to bring absolute destruction and whatnot? After actually seeing kronus and his little army, what exactly are we supposed to think? Are we to believe that rather than using some godly power he was going to smash creation into nothing?

And I haven't even commented on hades being turned into a human. What is that guy supposed to do now? He has been a god through all of his existence. And he is happy about being human? I could understand him being happy about being human in some form but I doubt he is happy about being about to die in the short run.

 

[Schabrak]

On Kronos design, the designer just looked at God of War 3 for that. Or he used some old source, I think even the animated Hercules movie had Kronos and folks as giants, no sure though.

Not only was his army measly, but so was the humans. One can clearly see where they budgeted it to make it cheaper. Hades may turned human, but all of the gods are powerless at this moment or a bit in the future as nobody believes in them anymore, that's a bit of a rehash of the first movie. Ares was strong, because everybody who's fighting may had prayed to him at some time. The one calling him in before the labyrinth had to see it coming, she deserved her death because she knew exactly why they had to stop praying to them.

---------- Post added June 19, 2012 at 02:34 AM ---------- Previous post was June 18, 2012 at 07:37 PM ----------

Done watching Bad Ass, Gamers and Gamersorkness Rising.

Trejo acts like I expect him to do, not more or less than I expected, but Bad Ass anyway! Seeing some of his co-stars from Sons of Anarchy[Winter Ave Zoli and Ron Perlman] was a nice touch.

Both Gamers titles were quiet amusing, only played Pen&Paper once and I didn't feel like playing more often. The sequel also has a far better quality, well anything is better than something that looks like a high school project from the 90s.:P May even try the roll20.net game some time.

 

[Doraku]

Did also watch Merantau to prepare for the The Raid BD release in a couple weeks. One is easily reminded of Ong Bak, but this one at least had some effective outcome, good fighting choreography throughout.

Personally I'd say that Merantau is better than The Raid. I mean, if you care about storyline, Merantau is not just a bloody full action movies. I read somewhere that the preparation for fighting scenes took 3 months to practice, so it goes without saying that the fighting scenes are better than Ong Bak. I'm still hoping the Hollywood remakes of The Raid is not awful though.

 

[kkck]

Ok, anyone ever ranted about fast 5 here? I have basically one complain about the movie (other than the fact that it was a shameless ripoff of oceans eleven -with CARS- and it still had good reviews ).

Spoiler

My main complain is about the bad guy in the movie and what he is. Now, the guy in question basically owns Brazil. He was said to be behind every legal and illegal business in the country. And the movie is set up so that the good guys steal 100 million dollars from this guy. This is not even the bad part, the bad thing here is that the most powerful guy in rio would only have 100 million dollars (the good guys said they were taking everything he had). I am not sure of how to even properly phrase how gargantually stupid that is. Brazil might have a a decent bit of poor people in its midst but the nation at large does have money. A fuckton of it. For fucks sake it is the only nation in SA which has its own technology (they make planes for example). Hell, if I recall their economy actually became larger than motherfucking england's... THATS what motherfucking Brazil is. And the movie is attempting to tell us that the bad guy in the movie developed an intricate system to keep tabs on a measly 100 million dollars? The guy who controls this monster legal and illegal business is worth 100 million dollars? Its like whoever ripped off oceans eleven to make this movie did not even bother to take a look at the implications of someone owning MOTHERFUCKING BRAZIL. Just to put things in perspective, the actual riches person in the world is not even in the US or Europe, he is in mexico and basically owns everything there. Brazil's GDP at least is just about twice that of mexico. And you are telling me that the person who controls everything there is worth a measly 100 million? If such a person actually existed he would actually be the riches person in the world (although he wouldn't make it to official lists because his money would be acquired illegally). We are talking about a guy who would be worth several thousand millions. Now, obviously losing 100 million out of the blue is not something which he would enjoy, no one would, however it would be by all intents and purposes an insignificant percentual amount in comparison to the billions and billions a guy who owns Brazil would have.

 

[Schabrak]

To the movies excuse, it was never meant to be realistic, a better movie than the previous ones nontheless. They couldn't have said that they only stole 10% of his fortune or else the viewers wouldn't have felt like the team had accomplished nearly nothing.

Gonna watch the korean movies Bin-jip/3-Iron, a movie about a housebreaker, who doesn't steal anything, but repairs things and lives in the residence for a couple of days and I'm a Cyborg But That's OK, a movie about a female, who believes she's a cyborg and is sent to a mental institution meeting other psychotics.

edit: Yeah, it's unrealistic as fuck, but who cares?^^

 

[kkck]

Well, telling the viewers vin diesel stole 10% of the guys fortune would imply that the guy who owes Brazil has a fortune amounting to 1000 million. The issue at hand is this
http://www.forbes.com/billionaires/list/
If the guy who basically owes mexico and telecommunications in SA in general has 69 billion, then how much do we expect the owner of brazil to have? Its more like they would have actually stolen 0.001% of his fortune. It is certainly a loss (and as far as he knows a lot of cocaine and hookers) however that is basically the amount of money he makes in a day. I know that the movie does not intent to be serious or even about cars but the extent to which they didn't know crap about the sixth largest economy in the world is astounding. Worst of it all is that in the end they actually arrest the guy. The ultra billionare guy. Risking it all. For a measly 100 million dollars. Its like.... I don't even know what to compare it too.

 

[Crude]

One thing I really disliked about that movie is that hardly anyone playing a Brazillian was actually from Brazil. The villain was played by a Portuguese guy who looked like he had a real hard time putting on a Brazillian accent.

 

[predsfan]

Heh, I actually liked Fast 5 and am looking forward to the next one. Granted, it's hard to care about the inaccuracies that you guys mentioned (not that I would've noticed the Portuguese vs. Brazilian accent), when the movie has one of the most ridiculous car chases I've ever seen . It's the completely ludicrous action scenes like that that make me look forward to the next Expendables movie.

Anyways, I saw 21 Jump Street recently and I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. Far funnier than what I thought it would be. Ice Cube's character was definitely my favorite character.

As far as upcoming movies are concerned: I just saw the trailer for Taken 2, and yeah, they're going to get my 10 bucks for that movie, it'll probably suck, but it's still Liam Neeson being badass. The movie I'm most looking forward to is Django Unchained. Not a fan of Jamie Foxx normally, but the movie looks awesome, plus, I'm a sucker for Westerns.