This is my original work (Darkshadow by jeff)

[kanashimi24]

http://s1178.photobucket.com/albums/x365/gintama24/?action=view&current=IMG_0001-1.jpg

I am only new to this forum so if thier any problem and u cannot see my work please tell me how ,it would be gladly appreciated

This manga's art and story is all done by me,please do not copy my idea it wont do u any good.
I want people to tell me what u guys think about my manga most likely the story as the art can be improved some other time.

The first pages not including the cover page are not that good in art quality but it gets better as it progress.

Explaining whtat the whole story is about is too much of a hassle but its about angels,demons and shinigamis please check it out

Their are some grammer errors and some missing words but just try to understand whats happening

 

[geetard]

Wow, that was horrible, i registered to this site just to say this was bad, i'm sorry but even i could do way better, seriously. Way. Better.
God that plot was shit and the art was like a 10 year old. BAJEEZUZ.

 

[kanashimi24]

Thank u for being honest i knew it was not gonna be that good since its my first time. But atleast tell me whats wrong with because i need help with the story not the art i can handle that problem by having someone else draw that. S o thank u for posting and i do have other stories but this was my first so i decided to go with this one, and it is the first chapter give it some slack

 

[geetard]

Lol, thanks for taking it so well, i posted it and realized how mean that sounded =S
Uhh, well your characters look reaaaaaally flat and the story does really seem like a mutated baby of bleach and death note and stuff, also overline the pencil drawings with an ink pen, or just a regular black pen if you don't have one of those because it was super hard to see.

Yeah.

 

[kanashimi24]

Well thank u again for posting. the reason i didnt ink it because it was just a name and also i dont have an ink pen so i thought if ink this current work of mine with horrible drawing it would be a waste of ink, i will only ink it if the drawing were really good. and yes this is inspired by other animes i watch and i invented when i was just a young kid.

I have this other story that i think no one has made, its about a time of the world where games are the most popular thing in the world and everyone plays it. it was so popular that they had the most biggest game sever that connect everyone online and people go online with this special head device that allows them to transmit their soul to play different kinds games in the server. so their was hacker who decided to hack the server named HAKKU who wanted to hold everyone in the server right now hostage preventing them to logout. now players from over the world are driven in a panic. now a noob main character who is not very good tries to man up to help his freind survive the horror

 

[Meiun]

Hi, I am also working on a manga and though I'm not an expert, I can give you a few pointers. ^^ First of all you can do what every artist needs to do, take criticism which is good.
Moving on, if you're really serious about making and finishing a manga then I suggest you start off slow. Work on developing your story until it's as good as it can get. Go with a unique type of story, shinigami, games, detectives and sport themes are all overused. The story is super important, even if you're drawings aren't the best people will still read your stuff if the story is good (coff coff na..coff...ruto coff coff) XD Of course that doesn't mean you don't need to put a lot of effort into the artwork, if it's horrid people won't even bother no matter how good the story is.

As for your drawings, I agree that they do seem flat. There are several "How to Draw Manga" books online that you can view or download online, they've done wonders for my artwork. Spend lots of time practicing drawing before you jump into the actual manga. Work on your characters too, they carry the story so they've gotta be drawn well.
Again, do read the "How to Draw Manga" books, they'll help you a lot.

And read tons of mangas with different genres, you'll learn a lot and find inspiration. Well, that's all I can think of...erm...I hope that was at least a little helpful? XD I didn't want to go overboard.

Good luck, don't lose your enthusiasm and keep us updated on your work~

 

[kanashimi24]

thank u for the advice. so first thing i do know that alot of themes are overused but sometimes i think its good to use the same theme as long its not completely the same story and characters. and i also beginning to think a lot of people think my story is gonna be focus on shinigamis and demons, well its not, the main character is just a shinigami thats all. my story more on immortals with demons, angels, gods and anything that will cause the end of the world like aliens or robots. and i get some inspiration from movies mostly horror movies. i did think of making a story about outlaws(cowboys) but i think that would because cowboys who speak japanese that would be a bit weird. so that why i want to pick a story that its possible for them to speak japanese. and i wont neglect my other main characters like what (coff..ble..coff..ach coff) did.

and the genre of my anime is a serious battle manga with alot of drama,comedy and romance in the mix

 

[Meiun]

lol, that's good then! I agree that it's okay to use the same themes over, as long it's different or else it'll get boring. Well if your main character is a shinigami have you thought about his/her final design? Shinigamis are always depicted in so many different ways, (humans, angels, monsters, skeletons etc) so I'm a little curious.
Yeah, you don't see too many cowboy mangas, although I think Oda Eiichiro did a oneshot about them before...
You certainly have lots of ideas, and that's good. Immortals, demons, angels and gods are always cool to read about, I'm not much on aliens and robots though. XD

 

[Charlie]

Nice drawing and story. I'll just ad that its virtually impossible to be a hundred percent original these days. I personally don't mind using older themes or ideas thats been used before. Whats important is your version of the story and how you plan the whole thing out with your own originality.

As for the art, for amateur work or concept work I think its alright. You can always find an artist or commission one or partner with one if you want to push the art to acceptable levels. Also it cant hurt to look at the how to books like meiun mentioned. If you want to do the art work as well along with the story. Having a solid story is needed. Flesh out the characters, universe, plot etc.

 

[kanashimi24]

well meiun i created when i was just a child so i roughly know how its going to end and i know the limits my manga has. as for the final form your talking about he does have forms but not much on a shinigami forms, mostly his shinigami form is just him with black wings and eyes with skull as the pupil( not counting the cross and pentagram that is something else that will be explain later on the story) as for his other forms he has a ying yang form when he has both light and dark elements, he has ultimate shingami form when combine with the grim reaper and last but finally elemental god mode or god of elements mode when he has all elements all at once giving him the power to create his own personal world or dimension and create planets which he uses for attacking, hes attack even when he is not in his final form is based on the universe and dark supernatural powers

---------- Post added at 10:57 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:29 PM ----------

thank u charlie for the advice. well i did already plan this with originality but this story is been inspired by alot of other mangas and movies. like the darkness element i got that idea from a villian from spiderman named venom he is a parasite who need a host to live the same as darkness, and like venom the darkness gives u enhance powers and darkness also makes the users personality to be more unstable, the persons personality will be more blood crazed. i made shadows personality very different from other main characters in shonen style mangas, he is like a anti hero yet sometimes he is not. shadow has also killed about 10 billion people+ currently as he is a shinigami he does not only kill people from earth but from other planets. he has even killed and entire planets race all by himself but in the past.

 

[LoneWarrior]

I don't see the story, all I see is the front page.