Help Translation Check

[Jackk]

Hello. May I please get a translation check of the following two panels?

Spoiler: First

And then they can split the earth and shatter the stars.

Spoiler: Second

That was the Galaxian Explosion, which has the power to destroy immense celestial bodies...

It wouldn't surprise me if they've both been obliterated without a trace.

Thank you for your time!

 

[mikkih]

Hello. May I please get a translation check of the following two panels?

Hi, Jackk.

And then they can split the earth and shatter the stars.

I guess you could remove "And," but it sounds fine to me. People don't generally call the earth　星(a star), so I assume that 星 means stars, not the earth. Context might change this.

That was the Galaxian Explosion, which has the power to destroy immense celestial bodies.

Translate 「GEの威力」 as a set instead of using it after ", which."
--> That was the power of GE, which ...

Edit: the "it" I mentioned above = the power

It wouldn't surprise me if they've both been obliterated without a trace.

JP txt: 消し飛んだようだな
ようだな is more like "Looks like," "It seems," or "(They) must have ---." Your tl ("It wouldn't surprise me if") suits better for a phrase such as 消し飛んだとしても不思議はない. Your tl is not wrong, but JP is a bit simpler. 　

 

[Jackk]

Hey mikkih, thanks for the suggestions/help! I really appreciate it

Hmm, I think I'm still confused with something in the first panel that I posted though

Particularly the 大地 ...which I translated as Earth. But 大地 could also mean ground and/or soil of the earth, right?

Basically I'm not sure if the panel is talking about the planet earth or the ground

I suppose basically going from talking about damaging/splitting the planet to then also the stars... makes sense in terms of progression at least. But perhaps the 大地 here refers to the ground of the planet (as in splitting/cracking the ground/soil, but not actually splitting the planet itself) and that could also make sense

How would you interpret the 大地 in the panel?

Below is the page where the panel is from if you want to look at it for context or something-

Spoiler

The page seems to describe how the character get their superhuman power, which is basically by causing their inner mini-universe to explode. I don't see something that would clarify if the 大地 is referring to the planet itself or just the ground, maybe either could work (it's vague) ?

The manga is called Saint Seiya, by the way. It's a fighting shounen with a Greek mythology theme and really powerful characters (atomic destruction, attacks at the speed of light etc...)

 

[mikkih]

I see, I thought you might be wondering if the 星(a star/stars) meant the earth or not. I know what you mean now. It sure can go both ways. I might still go with the earth - practically saying that his power can "destroy everything including earth and stars." It seems like a very important scene. I never read the manga or watch the anime, but isn't there already officially published version?

I'm out of town this Sat. and Sun, so I can't do any reseach myself. Someone who knows this story might be able to help you better.

 

[MadHatterRyu]

WOOPIE!! Saint seiya...

1) yeah, they meant Earth.. as a PLANET.. I assure you.

2) Add in some laugh... this dude's being sadistic.. or sardonic.. can't tell..

3) It wouldn't surprise me if they've both been obliterated without a trace.
Try "Both seemingly obliterated without a trace kukkukuku"

Edit: "It wouldn't surprise me".. use that places where sentences end with "deshou"..
e.g. "sore demo hashiri wa tsudzukerun desho" is a polite way of saying "They won't stop the race".. To keep the Japanese humility.. you could say "It wouldn't surprise me if they continue the race"

 

[Jackk]

Hmm, a bit of a bump... sorry. But I was looking over the JP text of that second panel again, and I've been wondering if maybe the "immense celestial bodies" part isn't really accurate (or there's something better/closer to the JP text that could be used)

Looking at that first part-

ク シクク
銀河の星星さえも
破壊する
GEの威力...

There's the 銀河の星星 part, which means stars and galaxies

So... would it actually be more like "Heh heh heh... That was the power of GE, which can destroy stars and galaxies" ?

Though there's also that さえも part, which I'm not sure if it's actually making it say something more like "which can destroy stars of the galaxy" instead

I guess I wasn't sure what to go with so I went with a more vague/general approach and used "immense celestial bodies" ...which I suppose technically isn't wrong

....But do you guys think there's a better way to translate/phrase that line ?

On a semi-related note, I'm finding trying to translate JP manga panels kind of a fun way to learn Japanese. Though I still have to use a dictionary a lot for words/kanji that I don't recognize or remember

 

[Utsune]

さえも in this case is "even," so it's saying: it can even destroy stars...

I wouldn't go with "immense celestial bodies" in place of "stars and galaxies* " here, you'd inadvertently changed the feel of the dialogue otherwise. Try saying it out loud to yourself, and you might find the sound of "stars and galaxies" in this particular scene holds a lot more impact than "immense celestial bodies" because the latter is too vague to create a certain image in your head.


And yes, being persistent in using a dictionary is a fool-proof way to improve your vocab. Good luck!

 

[mikkih]

Hi, Jackk

ク シクク
銀河の星星さえも
破壊する
GEの威力...

There's the 銀河の星星 part, which means stars and galaxies

So... would it actually be more like "Heh heh heh... That was the power of GE, which can destroy stars and galaxies" ?

ク シクク <--- クックク　Your translation is fine, but the second letter is a "small tsu" not a "big shi" in katakana.


"の" in 銀河の星星 is not "and." It means either "in" or "of."

Though there's also that さえも part, which I'm not sure if it's actually making it say something more like "which can destroy stars of the galaxy" instead

さえも is "even" just like Utsu mentioned.

I guess I wasn't sure what to go with so I went with a more vague/general approach and used "immense celestial bodies" ...which I suppose technically isn't wrong

....But do you guys think there's a better way to translate/phrase that line ?

For better accuracy, I think I would go with more traditional approach without changing words too much. If you have a problem translating and nobody could help you with it, then a vague translation approach would do.

On a semi-related note, I'm finding trying to translate JP manga panels kind of a fun way to learn Japanese. Though I still have to use a dictionary a lot for words/kanji that I don't recognize or remember

That's sounds great! Enjoy, and feel free post as many questions as you'd like on TA mainboard.

 

[Jackk]

Thanks a lot for the replies/help, Utsune and mikkih

If I understood correctly, for better accuracy here... I could/should use-

クックク
銀河の星星さえも
破壊する
GEの威力...

"Heh heh heh... That was the power of GE, which can even destroy stars of the galaxy"

Hmm, is a "the" before "stars" implied in the JP text? So in other words... "Heh heh heh... That was the power of GE, which can even destroy the stars of the galaxy"

 

[mikkih]

クックク
銀河の星星さえも
破壊する
GEの威力...

"Heh heh heh... That was the power of GE, which can even destroy stars of the galaxy"

Hmm, is a "the" before "stars" implied in the JP text? So in other words... "Heh heh heh... That was the power of GE, which can even destroy the stars of the galaxy"

星星 means "any" stars in/of the galaxy, but you are defining stars with "of the galaxy." I think it's rather an English grammar issue whether to use a definite article "the" or not.