Done Trinity Blood 47

Amzy

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Lusario

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Hi there!

I would be glad to offer my services checking this translation, however I hope you don't mind me being new at this. Also, this is only to check to translation and not to alter it in any way, is that right?

If you say: "yes, i don't mind you checking". I can start right away.

One more thing: Is there a dead line to this?

Thanks for your patience and I hope I can work with you.
 

Amzy

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I don't mind your help at all! If there are inaccuracies, of course you'll point them out to me, in which case I'll modify the translation. ^^ There isn't really a deadline for this, but I'd just like to get this out ASAP. Thanks for taking the time to help me. :)
 

Lusario

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The checking is done. Feel free to review the changes that I made to see if you agree with them.
The changes are below the original with a mangeta color.

Page 2 line 2,3,4 and 6

― サマセット・ピルトンの四十年もの・・・
Somerset Pilton, four years old…
A four year old Somereset…

こちらのワインもなかなかに上品ですね
This wine is of the finest quality.
This wine is, without a doubt, of the finest quality.

― 大陸とはまた違った味わいがある
The taste is different from the wines you would find here.
The taste is different from the wines you would, normally, find in the continent. (in japanese is says continent however if wish to continue with the word "here" be my guest)

俺たちにアルコールなんざ効かねぇってのは知ってるだろ バトラー?
You do know that alcohol does nothing for me, don’t you, Butler?
You do realise, that alcohol doesn’t do a cinch to me, don’t you, Butler?

It’s not just the Pope anymore. Even Istvan’s Lady Saint’s been sent out.
It’s not just the Pope anymore. Even Istvan’s Lady Saints have been sent out.

Page 3 lines 3 and 4

メアリ・スペンサーが教会に媚びを売るのは何も今に始まったことではないでしょう
Mary Spencer’s attempt to win favor with the Church hasn’t bore fruit yet.
Mary Spencer’s attempt to win favor with the Church hasn’t bore its fruits yet.

― これは十分に予想された事態ですよ
That’s the situation I see.
That’s the present situation I see.

Page 4 lines 1,3 and 4

― 私たちとて悪戯に遊んでいたわけではありません・・・
It is not as if we are just fooling around…
It's not as if we’re just fooling around…

― 我々はあと一歩であなたに解除コードを渡せるところまで来ているんですよ
We are a step away from giving you the release code.
We’re only a step away from giving you the release code.

― あと一歩じゃ 遅いんだ。
That’ll be a step too late!
That remaining step will be too late! ( you can continue with the above sentence if you like. I was just trying to make the translation more similar to its japanese conterpart) .

Page 11 line 11 and 13

お隠で時間がすっかり四か月前に逆戻り・・・
Because of him, it feels like time’s completely gone back four months earlier…
Because of him, it feels like time has completely gone back four months earlier…

― 一面の見出しは「軍の秘密兵器 ロンディニウム上空に襲来」ッ
the headline on the front page should be “ The Army’s Secret Weapon Attacks Londinium’s Skies”!
the headline for the front page should be “ The Army’s Secret Weapon Attacks Londinium’s Skies”!

Page 12 line 1,2,3,6 and 7

― これで決まりでしょう 編集長!!
We already decided on that, didn’t we, Chief?!
We’ve already decided on that, haven’t we, Chief?!

バッチリ写真も撮りました
I’ve even got pictures!
I even got some pictures!

これから社に帰って記事書くんで印刷機止めといてくださいよ
I’ll go back to the office and write the article, so please hold off on the printing presses!
I’ll go back to the office and write the article, so please hold off on the printing presses for now!

ウチの読者が求めているのはつまらない事実なんかじゃないんだ
Our readers don’t want to read something like boring facts!
Our readers don’t want to read something with boring facts!

― センセーショナルなゴシップですよ
This is some sensual gossip I’ve got here!
This is some kind of sensual gossip I’ve got here!

Page 13 line 10

― あたし本とに急いでるんで!!
I’m in a hurry!!~
I’m really in a hurry!!

Page 17 line 4 and 9

この十八年前の十二月のページ
The page that’s from December eighteen years ago…
That’s the page from December eighteen years ago…

― 父は十八年前にイシュトヴァーンを訪れた巡礼で
While my father was in Istvan during his pilgrimage eighteen years ago,
When my father was in Istvan during his pilgrimage eighteen years ago,

Page 18 line 3 and 5

― ここにサインがあるでしょう?
There’s a signature here, right?
There’s a signature here, isn’t there?

― 確かに姓は違いますが明らかに同一人物の筆跡でしょう?
The surname’s different, but it’s clear that the handwriting belongs to the same person, right?
The surname’s different, yet it’s clear that the handwriting belongs to the same person, isn’t that right?

Page 19 line 1

― 王妃殺しの大逆犯だ
He was the culprit in the crown princess’s murder.
This man was the culprit in the crown princess’s murder.

Page 22 line 5

― よかったら道を教えてくれませんかね?
If you have the time, can you please help me?
If you have the time, would you please help me out?

Page 23 line 2,6 and 13

そちらのお嬢さん なんだか嫌がってるみたいですよぉ
But it just seemed like this young lady was in some kind of trouble.
However, it just seemed like this young lady was in some kind of trouble

― いちゃもんつける気か コラ?
You tryin’ to pick a fight? Huh?
You’re tryin’ to pick a fight? Huh?

― いちゃもんつける気か コラ?
You tryin’ to pick a fight? Huh?
You’re tryin’ to pick a fight? Huh?

Page 26 line 4

― じゃかあしい!!
Ugh, this is annoying!!
Ugh, this is so annoying!!

Page 28 line 8

― ホテルの名前を教えてください 人に訊きましょう
Please tell me the name of the hotel. We can ask around about it.
Please tell me the name of the hotel. We can go around, asking about it.

Page 29 line 1,5 and 18

― だったら主よ あたしの忍耐は十分試されました!!
You’ve tested my patience enough, My Lord!!
You’ve tested my patience long enough, My Lord!!

― 足が速いのはよくわかったからー もうちょっとゆっくり歩いてくれないかなぁ
I understand that you’re in a hurry, but can you slow down a bit?
I understand that you’re in a hurry, but can’t you slow down a bit?

不便なんだねぇ シスターって・・・なんだったら
That must be troublesome, isn’t it? Hey, Sister…
That must be really troublesome, isn’t it Sister? Hey, Sister…

Page 31 line 7,14 and 15

案内の者とはぐれてしまって・・・いやはや
but I got separated from my escort. Oh, dear…
however I got separated from my escort. Oh, dear…

実は私の方もいささか困っておりましてね
I actually have a little problem of my own.
to tell the truth, I’ve got a little of a problem of my own.

― 実はいま 人を捜している最中なのです
The truth of the matter is I’m looking for someone right now.
The truth of the matter, is that I’m seeking for someone, right now.

Page 32 line 5,11,12 and 13

― 捜しに来てくれたのかい アイザック!!
Did you come looking for me, Isaac?!
Did you come searching for me, Isaac?!

― いったい どちらに行かされていたのです?
Where in the world were you going?
Where in the world did you go? ( I thought that this sentence would be more appropriate for the situation however i don't know if he really meant the above)

― 我が君(マイ・ロード)に万が一のことがあれば 私は吊るしあげられてしまいます
If something had happened to you, My Lord, then I would be at a complete loss.
My Lord, if something had happened to you, then I would be at a complete loss.


― どうか くれぐれもご自重くださいませ
Please be more careful.
Please be more careful next time.

Page 33 line 7

― 宮殿はちょうどホテルへの帰途ですから・・・
We will be passing by the palace on the way back to the hotel…
We’ll be passing by the palace on the way back to the hotel anyway…

Page 37 line 2 and 10

くそ 忌々しいッ
That was damn annoying!
That was so damn annoying!

― 俺様のペンとインクで心臓をひと突き・・・
With my pen and ink in hand, I’ll continue to pierce the hearts of…
With my pen and ink, I’ll continue to pierce the hearts of…

Page 39 line 1,3,4,7,10

bx1: だが この瞬間
But, at this very moment…
However, at this very moment…

bx2:俺様の記者魂に火が点いたのは確かだぜ
The reporter in me is definitely fired up!
The reporter in me is, absolutely, fired up!

― 急げッ
Hurry!
I must hurry!

bx3: 追った先には
If I keep following them,
If I keep pursuing them,

bx4: 特ダネだッ!!
then I’ll probably find a huge scoop!!
then I’ll probably unveil a huge scoop!!

The rest seems alright. You'll notice that much of the changes are just to avoid repetition of verbs, adverbes, adjectives or expressions. Also I've got a recommandation to make, which is that you use many times the word "but". You should try to vary between "but","however" and "yet" when at all possible.

Thanks for the chance to work with you! I hope I was of some help.
 
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Amzy

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Cool! Thanks for your help. :) I guess there weren't really any major inaccuracies then, which is relieving. ^^
 
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