you see, i was given this job because i pestered my mom about asking her colleague of whom she was a former client to too, <this local corp's a big time, where we get our immediate stocks; and that was before family business went down,

, we're hard up now> so i could secure some money.. apparently this friend was hesitant about taking me in because she just laid off some employees, just as my mother was also hesitant about asking <honestly, i feel its because its kinda humialiating for her to do so though she wont 'fess up,lol > well, i guess i was just pretty insistent about it,lol,very bratty, you can say. but i really want to have a job, where i can claim my money as my income, and now they gave in.LOL i really have my woy with words.
so basically, out of friendship, i acquired this saleslady<?> job. what i dont like about this is that i feel uneasy about the co-employees steal glances and unreadable facial expression...<they know about our business history, so i can say, maybe sneery?spiteful?>i feel like beyond those suppressed smiles are sentiments like im unwelcome, like dont fit in here, like i just took advantage of mom's and this obaasan 's relationship to have this job<or am i just harboring guilty feelings?> i am not used being looked at this way, but im very determined to work my way up in a hard and my own way <like how my parents fared when they started out> so im staying put, no matter how dusty the workplace is, no matter what other people say, no matter how novel this task is to me. that is, until a better opportune opens up and get me through my ordeal.
like i said, the line wasnt clearly drawn about my work. its more like i was a nuisance there..i was the one who is constantly asking them to give me work...even the obaasan dont have a word about my being late, <i have mother to thank for, i believe she was too wary about being friends w/ mom to be bothered by petty faults> when she is actually very very cranky person. i get away nicely huh?
and there was this really funny but touching part, obaasan told my mother she dont have to send me in...she would help me, even with my studies, but i asked my mother to tell her i want to work for what im paid for.you can say, i can have it the easy way but i choose it the hard but discreet way...because i have my parents integrity...<like i even have one,lol>
oh, do i see eyebrows raising?? LOL. im such a dignity sucker
ok ill drop the topic before this thread turns to blog
