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- Dec 13, 2006
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I confess that I'm in limbo regarding a friendship with a classmate. It's bouncing between happy, normal, awful, to just talking about the weather. Part of it has to do with that he's 20 and I'm 16, and we're both at a premier university. We were lab partners in the honors physics class and study group partners last year.
One night after we at at the cafe together, he admitted that he thought I was interested in him and that I was his type and all, but *insert random reason here*. I was totally bemused at the time. We continued to have strange 3-6 hour conversations, like how he talked about his lack of success with women (he emphasized *older* women) and I brought up my social debacle that cost me my neutral relations with my dorm floor in summer.
Our conversations started to get belligerent, til the week before the final exams, he basically told me I was immature and that it was obvious to everyone that I was my age - 16 - and I didn't belong there. He also implied that the other girl (who's 16 too) in my study group who I admire a lot was more mature than me. I broke down crying and haven't talked to him in depth since (mainly since I haven't had a chance, it was finals and then he went home to SoCal).
I did meet with him in my study group the day of the final, where he continued to be belligerent. When I gave presents to everyone in my study group, I gave him a star map and told him that I'd quiz him in fall to see if he read it. The look on his face was a puzzled "oh I had thought you were a cold hearted bitch but you're not?" look.
That was two months ago. It tore me up after the semester. It's also been compounded by my friend who I mentioned (my age and doing better than me in much harder work, I admired her a lot!) turned her back on me (defriended me, blocked me on her phone - and I don't know a damn thing that happened!)
Now he's talking to me a bit more pleasantly after a month of rather innocuous communication. This all came back to me as I was listening to the band Amaranthe, which reminded me of him. I even posted a lyric that I thought reminded me of him. I was somewhat flattered in my mind that he commented that if I were 1.000.000 lightyears away, I'd be in a dead space between galaxies and I'd need to fix my Galactic positioning system.
Sigh. I just don't get it. I wish we could just have a decent friendship, not this cold war. I'm not interested in more, though I do like him a lot. I just wanted a friendship. I don't know how to deal with this.
This isn't my first interaction with guys too - I have an older brother and several other friendships.
One night after we at at the cafe together, he admitted that he thought I was interested in him and that I was his type and all, but *insert random reason here*. I was totally bemused at the time. We continued to have strange 3-6 hour conversations, like how he talked about his lack of success with women (he emphasized *older* women) and I brought up my social debacle that cost me my neutral relations with my dorm floor in summer.
Our conversations started to get belligerent, til the week before the final exams, he basically told me I was immature and that it was obvious to everyone that I was my age - 16 - and I didn't belong there. He also implied that the other girl (who's 16 too) in my study group who I admire a lot was more mature than me. I broke down crying and haven't talked to him in depth since (mainly since I haven't had a chance, it was finals and then he went home to SoCal).
I did meet with him in my study group the day of the final, where he continued to be belligerent. When I gave presents to everyone in my study group, I gave him a star map and told him that I'd quiz him in fall to see if he read it. The look on his face was a puzzled "oh I had thought you were a cold hearted bitch but you're not?" look.
That was two months ago. It tore me up after the semester. It's also been compounded by my friend who I mentioned (my age and doing better than me in much harder work, I admired her a lot!) turned her back on me (defriended me, blocked me on her phone - and I don't know a damn thing that happened!)
Now he's talking to me a bit more pleasantly after a month of rather innocuous communication. This all came back to me as I was listening to the band Amaranthe, which reminded me of him. I even posted a lyric that I thought reminded me of him. I was somewhat flattered in my mind that he commented that if I were 1.000.000 lightyears away, I'd be in a dead space between galaxies and I'd need to fix my Galactic positioning system.
Sigh. I just don't get it. I wish we could just have a decent friendship, not this cold war. I'm not interested in more, though I do like him a lot. I just wanted a friendship. I don't know how to deal with this.
This isn't my first interaction with guys too - I have an older brother and several other friendships.
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